OK I need to grasp this nettle.

[OrmIrian]

I drink too much too often. Have always liked a glass of wine but in the last 18m it has got too much.

So as a starting point I am giving up booze until my birthday on 6th Feb. If I make it that far I will see if I can go back to sensible drinking - if not it might become permanent.

I love wine. I want to be able to enjoy it without compromising my health long-term, my weight, my running (try running 10miles the morning after you've downed a bottle of red ),my mental health and my bank balance.

I've cancelled the bottles of red wine I ordered wih my supermarket delivery tomorrow, and replaced them with tonic water. I am planning to run more as a distraction. Anyone got any tips - the crunch point for me is about 6.30 when I am getting dinner ready. I don't want to fail because they I will be scared about myself and my addiction (no other word for it).

All advice gratefully received.

It creeps up on you doesn't it posh. I know that it's been an issue for years but before now I have always restricted frequency and quantities. Got out of hand a while ago and this christmas was v boozy (but lovely too).

Yes, that loveliness is at the heart of the problem!

Ah no biwi! I was trying to explain that christmas was lovely inspite of the booze - ie orm didn't lie around in pools of vomit sobbing in maudlin manner whilst the children were opening their pressies

Sure ...

I always thought dairy would be a killer for me too. I'mhaving to do it for dd2. It just shows what we'll do for our kids eh? I will hold it against her for the rest of her life of course!!!

Anyway good for you cutting it out- how are you doing?

Fine so far thanks whelk. Tonight might be tough though as it's the start of the weekend and that usually involved wine. But it will be OK.

Wishing you a easy and alcohol free weekend Orm-this is my tough part of the week,but I'm looking the next 2 days as just days of the week and not the 'weekend',I'm hoping it makes it easier!.

Fed up with drinking tea though.

Well I'm off to bed and still sober!

Had a weird moment last night. I woke up at 4am for a wee. I had a dry mouth and a slight headache (due to CH being on all the time I think) and immediately felt a wash of guilt that I had again drunk too much. Followed by a huge sense of relief that I hasn't. For the first time I actually appreciated being sober.

Had several of those moments this week Orm,pretty common by all accounts.

Was lovely waking up on a saturday morning with zero hangover.
Minor cravings earlier this afternoon,odd to be in the supermarket not heading for the booze aisle,but hey ho.

I'm saving ALOT of money

Orm, they're called drinking dreams. First thing to remember is they're only dreams; second thing to remember is they're always BAD dreams - you never wake up thinking you've drunk then feel disappointed you haven't ...

Keep on keeping on, as they say.

THanks miflaw - I didn't know it had a name! Goes to show how nothing is ever for the first time.

Well have done 8 days, been through a weekend and 2 social occasions where booze was flowing freely. Quite chuffed with myself.

miflaw - if you don't mind me asking, when you gave up did you know it was forever or did you just mean to have a dry period?

Anyone have any experience of going back to drinking after a period of abstinence? I don't want to drink now and I am quite happy to carry on until 6th Feb but I wonder if when I start again I will struggle to drink sensibly. Has anyone got experience of this? Ideally I would like to be able to have some wine but not at the expense of sanity, self-respect and health.

Depends on whether you have a drink problem or not. If you don't, you can go back to it tomorrow if you like - all you need to do is drink less. Just make the decision and then follow it through.

If you do, it'll be miserable, there is no "safe" period. I drank again after 6 months total abstention and it was back to square one - maybe actually back to square nought - the first evening. And I have heard of people drinking again after years and getting the same results.

How will you know if you've got a drink problem? Well, deep down, you probably already know. If you don't, you won't find out till you take that first drink - which may be too late.

Or you could just keep abstaining and not have to worry about it.

Entirely down to you. Sorry the news is not more positive.

Sorry - just seen your earlier email.

When I gave up it was just for thatday. Andit still is. Every day, I decide not to drink that day. I don't worry about tomorrow because all sorts of things could happen before then. I certainly don't commit to a dry period because it's never worked for me and I start "worrying around the edges of it", looking for a get-out clause before it's up. One day at a time is quite enough for me, thanks, and has the advantage of working.

Sorry - last one. When, in my first post, I say, "if you do," I mean, "if you do have a drink problem". If you don't, drink all you like. If you do have a problem, it is the nature of the problem that you will never control it.

No one ever really controls their drinking. People without a problem don't control anything - they drink what they want, when they want. But, not having a problem, what they want is actually pretty snsible and in their best interests, with occasional permissible bouts of silliness.

The definition of a drink problem is that you can't control your drinking, so problem drinkers don't control their drinking either.

So, if ever you find yourself saying, "I'm going to control it this time," remember you are talking about a fantasy. You might as well try to control diarrhoea - you've either got the shits or you haven't.

god orm i could have written your OP.

i think i need to get a grip too. im downing 2 glasses per night and i really look forward to them - its my treat - but i know its not doing me any good and i cant run when ive downed a few either.

im really trying to curb the amount im drinking. wonder if for me its all or nothing - it was with smoking.

i sometime just dont buy it. but then i miss having my "treat".

dangerous ground maybe. think i need to just quit.

Try and find a non-alcoholic drink you like. Another suggestion to add to the list of possibles is rock shandy - equal measures of soda water and lemonade and a dash of Angostura bitters. Refreshing and not particularly sweet.

This really IS it. I didn't mean to imply that no one can moderate their drinking - people do, every day.

But, if, as opposed to recently overdoing it or reaching a point in life where you're not as young as you were, you have a drink problem (and I am convinced that, deep down, most people KNOW whether they have or not) then moderation of drinking is not in your nature- that's what the "problem" is.

Thanks everyone.

Will try the rock shandy mollieo. Sounds good.

miflaw - you frighten me a bit TBH. I know I drink too much at times. Recently all the time. But I can do without it - I am not struggling with abstinence at all now. But I can honestly say that I think I became an alcoholic the first time I had a drink that made me feel drunk - when I was younger I was allowed shandy that was almost all lemonade and babycham from time to time and could take it or leave it - but the first time dad gave me a proper glass of red wine that gave me that lovely slightly hazy warm feeling I loved it. Does that sound crazy? But all the years since then (until the last 2 probably) I have controlled my drinking. I have drunk sensibly. I guess the decision I have to make now is whether I want to step off what I feel is a safe place for the sake of something I am not missing that much. ANd take the risk of having to haul myself back up here again if it all goes shit shaped.

Interesting about the dreams - I have this when I go back to proper low carbing. I wake up thinking I've just eaten a Mars bar or something equally carb-laden!

Am on day 2 of no alcohol here, albeit that I'm doing is as part of a 2 week diet. Bitter lemon and Tonic (slimline) is what's helping me through the evening.

One thing I would say, as a sort of counterbalance, is that it's becoming very easy to demonise alcohol. There's a lot of pressure in the media as well at the moment (article on BBC 24 as I speak!).

Drunk sensibly, there is no issue - and Vicar, if you're drinking 2 glasses a night then this is within the government's current safe drinking guidelines, so I doubt you really need to worry.

I suppose the worry comes if you think it's controlling you rather than the other way round. And lots of people can control their drinking.

Stonking headache atm Can't even blame a hangover.