TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

hope everyone is ok,esp RWU

Hope all is well RWU, thinking of you.

I slept until 11 a.m. this morning. Its lucky I don't have small children - I'd be hopeless. So now I am trying to catch up a bit. DS came home this weekend and there seem to be large suitcases everywhere. He worked from 8.30a.m. until midnight yesterday, so I stayed up to make sure he was safe home. Hence the oversleeping this morning I think.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

KK You are a good Mum, no wonder you are tired!

DD has been off school sick, with a heavy cold, but has gone back in today as she is most keen not to miss dress rehearsal for her debut as an alien in the school play. It has been quite tiring, when a six year old can't sleep for coughing, neither can you!

All is well here, thanks, apart from chronic behind-ness with all things Christmas - but I'd like to see that RWU is OK.

Thanks Cakes - you never stop worrying about them however grown up they get do you?

Sorry your DD has been poorly, how lovely she is enjoying her play so much, I'm sure she will be a wonderful alien.

I've managed so far to do a load of washing and a sinkful of washing up. Plus write a letter to an old friend I had rather lost touch with(she sent a card and letter this morning).

Am now sitting down with a large mug of coffee and a tuna roll.

I know what you mean about being behind with all things Christmas, I still have shopping to do, and the city is a nightmare to get round.

There's some ironing looking at me accusingly from the basket, but I'm putting my feet up pacing myself at the moment!

Ironing??!! I am so lazy I send mine out so I can say nothing on that score.

No, you never stop worrying I imagine. I am already worrying about when she goes clubbing and she is only six.

I am pretending to work but DH has gone out so i am bopping around in my chair to a Jules Holland CD - and Mumsnetting.

This morning I had a phone call cancelling a meeting due to illness. Just as well, I'd forgotten it anyway

at Cakes !!
My mum worries about me and I'm ancient ! it's the thing mums do...

oh,and do hope dd feels better soon - and KK - you deserve to take it easy

am fine- long story, only went in today- done and dusted now, have had a traumatic weekend though not 'my' trauma iyswim! will catch up when i don't feel so drugged- off to bed now, have been asleep on the sofa since 4.15pm

Lovely to hear from you RWU, glad you have procedure out of the way, but sorry you had to wait longer. Have a good rest and take things as easy as you can. xx

Ooh good, glad you are OK RWU! Hope you have had a good night's sleep!

Have got DD on an inhaler - a temp. measure, she has had a cough for A YEAR which our doctors have refused to get to grips with, so we have changed doctor and she is trying this. They don't think there is much wrong with her either, but we are trying this to see if it calms her airways, and early signs are GOOD! Yay! It's a steroid so she can't stay on it long-term, but it does seem to be doing something. problem is, she is a little stress-head (thanks for passing that on, DH [hmm} )and she tends to develop nervous tics. I think this cough could be one of them.

Two years ago she was hearing voices in her head. Yikes!!! Thank God that seems to have calmed down.

Hey ho!

Does my dd sound like she has "ishoos"?

she just sounds a sensitive little girl Cakes
Good to know you are ok RWU - sounds as though you've had a bit of an ordeal waiting - take care and rest up xx

Hope you are feeling a little perkier today RWU and not sore -I imagine it'd be sore -eek. Have you got a Ben and Jerry's supply handy ?
Am back from GP who has agreed with me that I'd be better off on effexor rather than the clomipramine recommended by the psych- (better to have something that you'll actually take than something you won't !) I'd got in such a state of anxiety about it that it's a relief to have something I will feel I can take fairly happily..I glanced at the letter from the assessment and really it does seem that they are handing me back to my GP until he refers me back if he feels I would benefit from CBT - so I have to get better before I get treated,sort of. If I do feel better then obviously it'd be good to not need to do a course of CBT.
I guess I can use my exemption card for the prescription ?
I always feel a bit funny about it !
Hope you are all having a nice,brighter day -no rain here !

Glad your GP is keeping an eye on you MAS, the last thing you need is more anxiety. Hope you feel better once you are on the new drug.

Yes i think you can use the exemption card for everything for the next five years.

Sunny here too. And I have just been to the first perfornance of DD's Christmas play, which was absolutley lovely. Joseph had to be taken off the stage in tears, but managed to deliver his lines from the wings. It went swimmingly! Proud Mum!!

I'm glad your DD's play went well Cakes, its lovely to see them in these things isn't it?

MAS I'm fairly certain exemption card covers every thing. I get sleeping pills, AD's, anti biotics etc. on mine. As well as specific anti cancer drugs. I too feel a bit funny about it sometimes, but then I reckon I wouldn't need a lot of these things if I didn't have the underlying health problem that the card is for.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today RWU, GA can hang around in your system for a few days sometimes, try not to do too much (probably impossible with your busy family life)

I fought my way round town today to do some Christmas shopping. Have managed to get something for DS and DD, and my sister and nieces and my parents. nothing for DH so far. Both DC's have birthdays within 10 days of Christmas, so I really need to shop for those as well. In a way I'm enjoying it though, as last year I was too ill to do any, so I view it as progress!!

feeling a heck of a lot better thanks ladies! still not 100% but def on the way there, had a bit of a GA problem- bp plumetted as they were bringing me round so had to stay in recovery for a while until they were happy but i feel ok in the undercarriage department, bit stingy every now and again and i daren't sit on anything cold as i might pee myself (pee valve still a little swollen so sudden shocks can cause leakage )

will update again soon, results due back tomorrow or Monday then they will schedule the cyst removal for just before christmas but i shall enjoy the festivities from the comfort of the sofa, barking orders at anyone who will listen

Excellent about dd's play Cakes - did you weep ?
Glad you are enjoying the shopping KK - it must've been rotten for you last year :-(
Have my prescription now and they have given me Alventa XL -same as Efexor - I hope it'll be ok - I would rather it said Efexor but it';s ridiculous to get hung up on brands - people on the BCC forum get very wound up about different tamoxifen brands - me included as I really wouldn't want a different make now I've found the Wockhardt works well (in terms of nothing dreadful happening so far !)

Hello, you seem to be supporting each other well. I'm joining in for the first time as I am having lumpectomy in January and just got BC diagnosis this week so am trying to set up support. Have some friends and colleaguesw ho are great (about 4 of them have also been through this/similar) but it is very scary and I am worried about how to tell my teenagers. Any advice?

Hi Sandripples, I'm a relative newcomer to this thread, and have found it very supportive and helpful, I hope you will too.

You are in very early days of your diagnosis, it must all still be shocking and bewildering for you. I'm glad you have friends you can talk to, I found that very helpful. Other things I found supportive were firstly my Breast Care Nurse. Mine was a terrific support, always there for emotional as well as medical needs. Mine arranged counselling for me to help through the early stages.

Also Big 'C' centre if you have one, can be a place of refuge and calm. Breast Cancer care and MacMillan are both very good organizations with helplines for support, and leaflets and advice covering a wide range of topics.

I'm a little bit wary of bombarding you with information because I know it is all very new to you. Be kind to your self and allow time to adjust and settle with your diagnosis.

My children were 18 and 23 when I was diagnosed, so a little older than yours. I told them once my diag. was confirmed. My DD said she had known something was wrong, and was almost relieved to know what it was IYSWIM. I just told them as gently as I could, and emphasized the positives. They turned out to be much stronger than I had guessed and have been very supportive. Its never easy telling loved ones though.

Of course you are frightened, that is absolutely normal. And there are no rules about how you should feel, everything you are feeling is valid.

Much love to you and I hope we can all help if you need us on your journey. xx

hi sandripples -you are most welcome and I hope we can support you -am so sorry that you are going through this though.

I echo everything KK has said - particularly about breast care nurses- mine has been totally wonderful and made things so much easier (in fact the b care team is fab)
I think I may have not gone about telling ds properly in retrospect - he is 12 btw- I never actually told him,he sort of picked up on it and when he asked things I answered honestly. He has never openly expressed any fears about what might happen to me but I think he feels confident that I am well and all will be ok because I am quite matter of fact.
It is scary for you and bewildering but if you don't jump ahead of yourself and take it step by step then you'll get through it. Do ask about anything that worries you in the next few weeks - we can help I hope.

RWU - missed your last post for some reason - I'm thinking of your stinging and wincing in sympathy...great idea to remain on sofa over festivities !

welcome sandripples, i shall catch up with you soon!

We tend to be a haven away from the madness on the thread, in my time here i've cried, laughed (lots!), shouted, ranted and moaned (lots !) but thankfully the fellow members on the thread take it and support each other amazingly well.

As far as telling older children- unfortunatly i have no idea, mine are all very young and are quite happy with the "mummy's got a belly ache" explanation so far- your BCC or Mac nurse may be able to put you in touch with someone who can help to explain it (or give you some tips iyswim)

Pull up a chair and make yourself comfy

Hi Sandripples - welcome from me too. What a horrible time of year to get a BC diagnosis - it's never good, but my tip would be, to try and park the problem a bit and enjoy your Christmas. It will be hard, but some fun and relaxation will set you up for your treatment in January. My BC nurse was always in favour of trying to relax as the best thing you could do to help yourself.

I also cannot help you with telling teenagers as my dd is six, we have told her everything in a matter of fact way without mentioning the "C" word. We just called it a lump that needed to be removed. All follow-up treatment we just said was the doctors trying to make sure it did not come back. And, as MAS says, because she is matter of fact and positive, her ds has taken his cue from that. My dd is the same and I think your teenagers will probably do the same. Although they will probably need to hear the "C" word. It is hard to tell people, but I imagine they will be a good support for you once they know.

As MAS also said (God, that woman is wise!) take it a step at a time and you will get through it. Honest!

MAS - yes, I surely did shed a tear or two at DD's play, and I loved it so much that I am going back for the Tuesday performance.

Glad to hear lady bits aren't too sore RWU - and barking commandments from the sofa sounds like a great way to spend Christmas! We have a friend who once had a vasectomy just before Christmas and spent the whole time with his knob on a cushion reclining on the sofa. Said it ranked amongst one of the nicest ever!!

Enjoy the shopping KK. It's progress indeed that you can enjoy it this time around. I am off now as my computer is running slow and it is driving me to the point of rage. I need to calm down. Hopefully it'll be better later, when i shall be back.

Love to all xx

Thank-you so much for all responding so quickly. I am indeed feeling pretty bewildered, but the idea of 'parking ' it to some extent appeals and is what I am doing in that we had planned for a lot of far-flung friends to come to the UK for Christmas, I've done loads of preparation and I'm not giving up on having a good time with them. The Dr said it made no difference if I had the op on 22 Dec or 5 Jan so I went for the latter.
My children are 20 and nearly 16. One is spending a year abroad so I am waiting till she's nearly back in Uk before I tell them as I think it would be tough to hear this news a long way from home.

The trouble is I can park it for a while and do some nice displacement activity, then of course it just all overwhelms me again.

I will re-read all your suggestions and think I need to make contact with the BC nurse - thank-you again.

Sandripples, your planned Christmas sounds absolutely lovely and just the thing to help you prepare. Of course you can't block it out entirely, but practice a bit of deep relaxing breathing if it starts to look overwhelming.

Bear in mind that, if your BC was a genuine emergency, rather than just urgent (as they all are), you would be on treatment immediately, Christmas or no Christmas. Take heart from that.

I can remember my BC nurse telling me post surgery that she had seen people with "much angrier, much bigger tumours than yours" get through all the treatment and enjoy a complete cure. That really helped me to get some perspective. I am telling you in the hope that it helps you too.

Post here as much as you like, we are all here just to help each other (and because we give each other a BIG laugh from time to time)!

By the way MAS - glad to hear you have got the drug treatment sorted. It's important to be on something you feel comfy with, isn't it? And I know what you mean about the Wockhardt tamoxifen now - I was on a different brand from the hospital, but the GP's prescription is for Wockhardt, and i honestly think I am less flushy on it.

My hot news, is that my hair is on the return and, since two weeks ago, I ditched the headscarves. It is VERY dry, and I look a bit butch, but it won't be long before it just looks like a fierce crop. And my eyelashes are as long as Bambi's! Long may THAT last! (Sandripples - don't hyperventilate - i had to have chemo - doesn't mean you will. And even if you do - it passes and isn't nearly as bad as you might think )