TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

Well I'll be thinking about you for both.

You do get out of the habit of disrobing quite quickly - at the moment I am still getting it all out for everyone who happens to be about, so no worries for me there. But you soon get your inhibitions back post treatment. Hope it all goes well - deep breaths!

bad parenting still in full swing here. DD left a note for the tooth fairy last night - she has not lost a tooth but has a molar coming in at the back. She leaves a note so the fairy has a clue despite the absence of a tooth to take away. Am afraid the tooth fairy forgot all about it last night. We have told her there probably needs to be a bit more tooth showing through before the fairy can oblige

thank you Cakes - and at your dd !

Hi all, hope everyone had a good weekend, I've been trying to keep busy. Spent the last couple of evening chatting on various threads that took my fancy on here, to occupy the mind. I haven't heard when my scan is yet, I phoned BCN on Fri. and she rang round to try to find out what's going on. Apparently the GP request needs to be assessed by consultant radiologist to see if I'm urgent or not. Sigh - more waiting. However she's given me the no. of the radiology dept. and says if I haven't heard by Wed. to badger them and if they won't listen get back to her and she'll get on the case.

Felt a bit low yesterday, but DH and I went out for a nice walk to blow away the cobwebs, went bird watching at a nature reserve - it has the one of the biggest rookeries in the country and at sundown all the rooks sweep round the sky in a massive cloud of thousands of birds before they go to roost. Its quite a sight.

Today Dh too the day off and we went swimming, then met DS for lunch as he had a day off work. It was lovely to see him and have a natter.

Hope your CBT assessment goes well MAS, and your rads check.

at your DD keeping the tooth fairy up to date Cakes, good for her.

Meant also of course to say hope all is well to RWU and Morph, - I pressed post too quickly by mistake, hence post being full of typos, e.g. DH took the day off. old age is my excuse.

Hi KK

Glad to hear you are keeping busy, 'tis the only way. It sounds like a lovely weekend was had. We go to a local nature reserve too - your rooks sound lovely. Can't beat that but our reserve has a flock of pink-footed geese, one of whom is really friendly. If you call him he will come off the water and then, if you stoop down to his level, he will come really close and look right into your soul. A bit of food helps as well!

I absolutely love him!

Badger away at the radio team it really will pull you to the top of the list.

Good luck!

it's horrid waiting around and trying not to get anxious KurriKurri - do hope they get you seen v soon and can put your mind at rest.
Thanks for wishing me well this week-it'll be fine I know.

Psst!

Good luck!

MAS, good luck today and tomorrow- thinking of you x

Good Luck MAS for CBT and tomorrow.

Cakes - you must be able to see the finish line now with the rads. Hope you're not too sore.

Hiya

Yes indeedy, the end is in sight. And not too sore either, thanks, since I got the dressing thingies. Might actually miss the radiologists, we have bonded over my love of celebrity gossip. Won't miss lying on that bloody table in that cold room, though!

On Friday, to celebrate my last day of rads, dh and dd are going to meet me at the hospital, bags in the boot, and we are going straight off for the weekend to bath (BIL has a smart apartment there, so it is a free loan, but only until the end of the year - sob). Can hardly wait - we did the same thing when I was finally released after having swine flu!

Hope you are doing OK today KK (and RWU and Morphfan, obviously) - it is a depressing time of year, which does not help. DH and I have just been out for a bracing walk across our nearby fields. The only things braving the icy wind was a little flock of goldfinches in search of seeds.

Bath is lovely - its years since I visited it properly,though have driven through a few times since. Have a lovely time, you deserve a break.

I phoned the radiology dept. yesterday to inquire about my ultra sound, to be told the referral still has not been vetted . So I phoned my chemo unit, and they have arranged for me to see the oncologist tomorrow, before I have my echocard. and my herceptin. So hopefully things will get moving a bit. I'm nervous but I need to know what's happening IYKWIM. Think I might have been better going straight to the chemo unit rather than GP, but hey ho, I'll know next time.

Wind is icy here too, it is trying to rip out some wall flowers I planted in the summer, I have put large stones round as protection, but still expect them to go bowling off down the street at any moment!

will be thinking of you tomorrow KurriKurri - knowing what's what is better than wondering but it's still hard..xxx
Your weekend away will be fab I'm sure Cakes and you've earned a lovely break -I really like Bath- have visited a few times when my mum and dad lived v near there.. we are near Winchester which I always think is quite similar.
Ds has just read this and says he likes Winch. best !!
Thanks for your very kind wishes for my appointments - the CBT assessment thing was about 2 hours long and a bit gruelling as it was just everything- psych. history,back ground and sexual stuff and it made me cry which surprised me as I usually have a strong grip on myself,but...I forgot to talk about the 2 really major things I struggle with which is stupid - you think I'd've thought of those ! I will hear soon anyway - it's possible I might get offered a CBT top up and grief counselling was mentioned but I don't know whether it's something they offer there or something I'd need to sort out if I wanted it.
Can it rain for much longer ? grrr

Thanks for your good wishes MAS, luckily my onc. appointment is in the morning so not too much time to get into a panic before I go. Really just want to get it over with.

I know the CBT stuff can be hard. My DS had CBT and like you found it hard work and emotional, but it has helped him I think, certainly given him strategies to call on when he is going through a bad patch. I hope you are offered something you will find supportive and helpful.

Hi both

KK I am sorry you prob won't see this before you go, but I will be sending positive thoughts:so glad you got it sorted thrtough the hospital. That's a lesson learned for us all! Hope you get some positive feedback that can put your mind at rest.

MAS - that sounds like it was thorough! You'll get a chance to talk about the other stuff I am sure. Hope it all helps.

Bath will be lovely, am most jealous that you live near Winchester MAS - it had always been a place I wanted to visit but never had, until earlier this summer when we were on our way back from Isle of Wight and had a day to spare, and were kind of passing. So we spent a few hours in the cathedral and the museum and various other places I have forgotten now, but it was really lovely. Will go back one day soon and spend some more time in a less hassled atmosphere - DD was tired and grumpy and we had little time to stand and look in peace. Imagine - a place where they have King Canute's bones! Crikey!

Good luck for check up MAS - and go for it, KK

Love to both
xx

hope all went well KurriKurri - have been thinking of you.
Managed to speak to the psychologist I saw yesterday and told her the other things - felt a bit foolish -but I think I'd underplayed it a bit and when I got home and faced one of my main ocd things it struck me that I do really struggle..so anyway,think that's ok - they are meeting to discuss it this afternoon.
Breast clinic was packed though some patients were waiting for surgical pre-assessment for other things -it's in a diagnosis and treatment centre. I saw my surgeon -they didn't have my notes (!) but he had various letters to work from - apparently the onc. has staffing probs so has handed over post rads people back to the surgical team for follow ups. All well,the hard areas are oedema which is caused by radiotherapy - he said the distortion can be sorted by surgery but frankly I think it's perfectly fine - I certainly wouldn't consider anything like that ! So that's it until April.
My brother lived in Winch. before moving to Bath - so they have the best of both ! Winch. is smaller and less touristy - ds loves it because we buy cornish pasties and then chocolate from Montezuma. I love it as there is a fabulous shop there called The Hambledon and of course the cathedral and a White Stuff ! (see that my interests seem to rate commerce above culture !)

So glad the check up went well. It is stressful beforehand but afterwards it is comforting to have had someone tell you all is well, isn't it?

Glad too that you spoke to the psych. Sometimes it is too easy to soldier on, when you should not be having to struggle.

I really hope this helps.

Blimey, from Winchester to Bath, how the other half lives,eh? I too like to mix culture with shopping. And I love a White Stuff - so much nicer than Fat Face.

In Bath there is a crystal shop that dd and I both love to visit. I like the idea of crystal therapies, but mostly I just love the colour and feel of the stones!! It is on the way in to town from the apartment so we pass it each day - drives DH mad

I am running myself ragged today. The state of my house has finally made me take action. I am ashamed (but only a little bit)

thanks Cakes
There is a bead shop too which has South American beads and trinkets -not sure where, but I do like rootling about in there...also a fab Italian ice cream place -yum !

Hi all, just got back from the hospital. Its not looking terribly brilliant I have to say . Oncologist said there's definitely something there against my ribcage, she's got me an ultrasound and possible biopsy for monday afternoon.
I was hoping of course she would say its nothing don't worry, but unfortunately she didn't, she said it could be a recurrence of the cancer, although she checked me all over for lumps and bumps and didn't find anything else. So more waiting. Sigh. I feel really worn out - emotional tension I expect.

Glad your check up went well MAS and also that you managed to have another word with your psychologist.As Cakes says,you shouldn't have to struggle if there's help available.

Anyway think I will have a lazy weekend, today was a long day. Cup of tea and several in order I think.

oh Kurri -am so sorry -a huge hug coming your way - inadequate I know, but...xxxxx

Thanks MAS, I am Ok, trying to remain hopeful, but also realistic, so I can deal with the worst case scenario should it happen.

KK- i am sorry, its a bugger when you get a set back- but try and remain upbeat until you def know! I have recently had a scare with a lump on my bladder- thankfully it was decided that it was a cyst. Fingers crossed that it is non-worrying when all the tests are done.

Hugs from mid-wales in a very un-mn'y way

Hugs from me too, KK. What a bummer. Do try to stay upbeat as RWU says - it really could be any number of things. I am sorry that I can't do anything more practically cheering for you, but am betting DH and your kids will be on the case.

Hugs. xx

Glad your lump was nothing too unpleasant RWU - was wondering where you had got to!

i am usually found on the loo it hurts if my bladder gets full Had a bit of 'time-out' as i didn't know until tuesday whether it was nasty or not! Have appt with Gynae tomorrow [oh joy] and second sf jab!

Love to you all, will catch up soon- busy finishing wedding dress for sat, and my own dress for the blardy day as well! x

thanks all, your support is very much appreciated. Will stay busy over the weekend and hopefully at least be a bit further along on Monday. Oncologist is very nice and she said to come down to the unit and have her bleeped after the ultra sound on Monday so she can talk to me.

DH is very supportive as ever, and has bought a large lemon madeira so all my cake needs are met

Sorry about your scare RWU,there are so many ups and downs aren't there?- v.glad they have been able to reassure you.

am v glad lump wasn't nasty RWU xxx Good luck with gynae,sf jab and dressmaking !
lemon madeira sounds most comforting and glad that your oncologist is so nice - it does help to have lovely people on your side.