TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

woohoo! kids are back at school!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I know the feeling - have spent three weeks solid with dd, was beginning to despair!

RWU - i said I'd tell you if anything arrived for me - it didn't. Not sure if it should have done or not, but did not want you to think I was being ungrateful and not mentioning it!

Glad to hear you have spare energy sandripples - I have none at all but am hoping to get some, so have signed up for a yoga course. Yikes! First session Wednesday pm.

don't worry cakes i think the christmas appeal (that was what it was, mn santa!) is still running behind if normas got your address now then hopefully you will be matched!

Steam cleaned kitchen floor, dd asleep in pushchair, dishwasher loaded and on, sandwiches made for lunch- ahh the excitement!

I know what you mean about the kids cakes- there is only so many times you can 'invent' things for them to do especially in this weather, and up here there isn't much even if you do leave the house! poor kids must have been bored rigid, but they were soooo happy to go back and see all their friends! i danced back from the school- Queens greatest hits on full blast lol- dd loves it!

Aah, mn santa - understand now! No worries. I am always worried in case i forget to say thanks for something lovely when it happens. Wouldn't want to be thought rude, was quite well brought up, really... Will keep you posted!

Inventing entertainments for kids is a pain - I even took dd swimming yesterday in desperation. Had to dig the trusty Honda Jazz out of the snow and skid all the way to the pool, thankfully the water itself was warmer than some of my baths, so it wasn't too bad whilst in there. Was a b**d when we got out though.

I have also had to SLEEP with my dd for the last week (she won't sleep on her own in a strange house when we are on holiday), so I had her 24/7. I was starting to twitch. She is lovely but she never, ever shuts up. She even talks in her sleep.

oooh, i feel for you, the kids all piled into bed with me the first night dh wa away, i got NO sleep, dd was slapping me all night and pulling my hair and all the boys snore like flipping warthogs! sounds like a nice break though. also at the digging out of the honda jazz- i wouldn't dare use mine atm, i have been using a legitimate excuse to drive the 4x4! also can only fit 3 kids in the jazz so not a great help!

The Jazz has NO traction at all in the snow - used it again this morning for the school run but i am going to walk this afternoon, it was terrifying.

And why are kids so active at night? I also got slapped, tickled, kicked etc etc. Mind you dh is not better. He snores and also nicks all the duvet.

Sending thoughts for your MIL, poor her. I know she is difficult, and even more so at the moment with dh having to be away and all, but poor her. My MIL is also playing the sick card at the moment, although with far less excuse, to be honest I think mine just fancied a bit of attention. She spent Christmas with us and I had thought she was better than usual, but then found out she had made up stories about me and dh to dh's sister - specifically that we spent the entire time drinking red wine. I don't know why she does it, we had a few glasses of wine, not loads (I was on antibiotics for one thing) and not a SINGLE glass of red was had by anyone. Poisonous old bag.

Blimey, -I step out of the room for a second, and suddenly there's loads of posts.

Yoga and swimming - my favourite things since I finished chemo/radio I find them really relaxing. Hope you enjoy your class Cakes.
Sorry your MIL was difficult, mine is no longer with us, but she had her moments!

DH is also a duvet snatcher/sleep shouter. He winds the duvet round himself like a cuccoon (sp?).

Hope your wound is healing RWU, and don't overdo it SR. (although I know what your mean about the nervous energy, it needs an outlet.)
DH having his op tomorrow, though he is coughing like a mad thing, and I think they might cancel it, which will annoy him.

Positive thoughts and wishes for dh, KK. Hope it isn't cancelled, must be horrid when you have psyched yourself up for something.

hope the op goes ahead KK, is it a major thing? Dh is like a witchety Grub (sp?) with the duvet, wraps himself up and leaves me just an empty bit of cover until i boot him and claim it back

I had a feeling the jazz wouldn't be great! the decision to keep the Isuzu Trooper was a good one- i have been the only one able to get out of the cul-de-sac most of the week!

Boys all home from school so the fighting is ongoing- i have escaped but i will go and break it up in a bit Wound is a bit sore today- but that may be the effort of pushing a pram up a hill to school 2 this morning- didn't fancy driving up it even in the beast lol!

MIL's- well the only real thing you can say is !

No its not major - a little stone in his saliva duct which blocks it and gives him infections. They've had two goes at getting it out under local, but the tissue swells too much, and they've just ended up chopping his mouth up. So now are going to try under GA. He's never had a GA, so is understandably nervous. As am I - now I know what he must feel like when its me!

doesn't sound too pleasant- prob a good thing that he'll be under! sending you my best wishes for you and dh for tomorrow, i bet you're fed up of the hospital
i'm pretty stoical about myself having surgery but when dh had his carpel tunnel thing done i was a mess- and that was done under local You tend to worry when its someone else because it's not under your control iyswim.

Anyway have a nice relaxing night and hopefully the cough won't cause a problem.

lots of good wishes to Mr KK for his op tomorrow.
School back today -and looks as though dh will go to work too,so I'll be on my own - feel a bit sad -silly really, just anxty things that I feel happier with if someone's there- but am sure I'll get used to it again !
The Dior perfume is non-alcohol based and nice and light -I used it during radiotherapy,obviously not anywhere that was being zapped but to feel fresh as not able to use deo.
Nice to have you back Cakes -we went to Norfolk a few years ago for a lovely (damp) holiday -stayed in Snettisham and went along the coast - loved Holkham beach !
Think dh prefers Suffolk which is where we mostly go - I loved both !

arse- teatotal has posted on the Check your breasts thread - the following shite-have posted that it's complete tosh...

The following is only one of thousands of articles, please continue to search for answers, be your own judge and jury. www.whale.to/cancer/ko.html and check out Amazon for Get Well Soon -Remove The Cause The Effect Will Astound You by United Authors

Thanks for good wishes - will pass them on to DH.

Morning ladies. Can I join you? Found a lump juts before Xmas - had it taken out last week, got results back y'day. Lump was bigger than we first thought and there was some spread to the lymph nodes (3 out of 5). So I've got to have more scans, and then chemo + mastectomy and tamoxifen.

Feeling v. rubbish today - felt OK yesterday. but then rubbishness could be to excess of champagne I had last night (first drink since Xmas) and very light sleep. Worried about the CT scan already.

What tips can you give me for getting through all this? I have two DDs aged 4 & 5. DH works long hours and there's no close family who can help out, the closest is 150 miles away.

Welcome Pennies, I am glad you have found us, but so sorry you are going through this.

Well, you have been through a lot very quickly, and it is no wonder you feel so rubbish, I bet not much has sunk in properly yet.

I think the best advice I can offer is holistic. Be very kind to yourself for a while and take each day as it comes. Try to have a laugh and enjoy life as much as possible, the treatment goes on for a long time, and you can't be constantly engaging your mind with it, you need to live as well.

You say you do not have much help near you, but do you have friends? I have found that i have had loads of offers of help, far more than I need, and not just from close friends but also from Mums at the school and all kinds of people. If they offer, accept that they mean it, and let them help. People really do want to, and I bet you'd do the same for them.

Others will be along soon with more advice relating to mastectomy, I have not been down that road and do not know much about it. MaryannSingleton will advise you to make use of the Breast cancer Care chat boards for real practical information - personally I have not done this as I prefer to live my life in denial but I believe they are very, very helpful.

As regards your kids - it is hard, I have a six year old dd. We have approached it by telling her that I had a lump which could make me poorly so i had it taken away, and then medicine to try to stop it coming back. She dealt with this OK. We also told the school so they knew and were ready to talk to her appropriately if she mentioned it to them (which she did). it was good to know her teachers were backing us up, and would let us know if they felt she was struggling with it.

keep talking to us, even if it is only to use swear words and for a shoulder to lean on.

Hugs to you and your family xx

Hi Pennies and welcome - so sorry though that you are going through this - I do echo exactly what Cakes has said !
The Breast Cancer Care Forum is very good and supportive - actually I didn't look on there until after my treatment was underway, but it's been invaluable in helping me with my feelings and anxieties about taking tamoxifen etc- there will be a link to it further down this thread.
Take care of yourself and be kind and gentle to yourself - we are here if you need to talk/vent xx

Hi Pennies, I can't offer you much help but just wanted to say hello and to let you know I was diagnosed in December, was meant to have lumpectomy last week bt it was postponed due to the snow. Op now planned for Tuesday 19th so we will not be far apart as far as initial treatment is concerned.

I find this thread very supportive so wanted to say welcome. I also like the Breat Cancer Care site and forum. Best wishes for now.

I went on the BCC forum just after they had initially diagnosed me - it scared the living daylights out of me! I specifically went to the newly diagnosed page but there were people there 8 months down the line talking about all sorts of treatment and feeling rough etc so I burst into tears and clicked off. I also prefer the denial stage as well, but sadly it seems I'll be come an expert on it.

MAS and KurriKurri said to come here for support when I first posted (I was Badtiming, then), although in the end it was good timing because having my DH off work over Xmas and the family all here meant I could go off and blub and the children didn't notice.

I think we're going to try and get a nanny / mother's help / housekeeper (we took out life insurance years ago and so we;re able to afford this - hurrah!) but we have had a whole heap of offers of help. People have been so kind, sending flowers, baskets of fruit, cooking for us etc.

Cakes - you're so right about not letting the disease define you. It seems so all consuming right now and I desperately want it to be something that happens on the sidelines.

Sandripples - isn't it so scary. Have you had the results of your biopsy then and it's def cancer? I can tell you that the not knowing what you're dealing with is much worse than the knowledge. As they say, knowledge is power and once you know what you've got you can get a plan and that gives focus. I hope you're not watching Corrie St at the moment - some poor bird is at the same stage as us. Not a plot I want to be following.

Who on this thread has had to have a mastectomy & chemo?

Glad to hear you have lots of support, Pennies, I think I was away when you first appeared.

The Corrie story has been a bone of contention in many breast cancer circles, many people find it distressing/offensive. I am not watching myself as I never do seem to see any soaps: but I can't imagine I would find it entertaining.

I think I would also find the BCC forums scary: for me it is easier to take one day at a time. If that also works best for you, go with it, but perhaps hold those forums in the back of your mind in case you ever do have a question that needs a knowledgeable answer.

As you go through the process you will probably find it will become less all-consuming for you (after the surgery stage, obviously) just because you get bored with it. I managed to sideline it by not telling loads of people: that way we were not always discussing it.

I have not had a mastectomy but have had chemo. How you respond to that will be down to good luck, really, some people find it very hard, but lots of others find it less so. I was pretty lucky and able to keep functioning pretty well (I freelance part time, so my work is not physically onerous) and was never sick or incapacitated. I just had to take it easy for the day of treatment, and then pace myself for the next two days or so. I hope you will find it OK. Having a housekeeper or whatever, will definitely help!! Relax, read some books, listen to music, or whatever floats your boat.

sorry to interrupt -but Cakes may have missed it-teatotal is back on another thread with her ridiculous posts - it's making me cross - here

The Corrie breast cancer story is something I have been following -I was in two minds about doing so,but I seem to have caught the episodes so far - it makes me feel a bit funny-I don't like the character at all -she is a snob and not very likeable but it is quite moving. My mum can't understand why Sally Webster,the character,is 'whingeing' so much about her diagnosis - I was a bit shocked that my mum was being so dismissive of something/the same op as I'd had- I have thought about it a lot and conclude that it's either my mum just referring back to how we were at my diagnosis - ie. pretty stoical/practical/unemotional - think that's just the way we are-perhaps rather too buttoned up.
Or that the whole thing is too scary to really allow yourself to think about -my mum and dad lost their 10 yr old son to cancer - my BCN pointed out that maybe my mum doesn't even want to consider the possibility of losing another child. Another thing might be that I was given my diagnosis in quite a low key,one step at a time way- information revealed as and when it was appropriate and I didn't really ask many questions -consequently if I look back at the emails I posted to friends and the way I told my parents,I made it sound as though it was all very mild and tiny and nothing to worry about. And of course compared to lots of people's dx a grade 2 with no lymph or vascular invasion is 'mild' - it's something I do torment myself with -that I have no reason to feel bad as I got off relatively easily.

sort of lost it over there!

no -you were great RWU !

Hi Pennies, I got the results of my core biopsy on 8 December so I know its invasive cancer, grade 2 - possibly 3. My surgeon said he needed to wait till after the op to be able to give me definite info. I am OK most of the time although have become slightly addicted to this thread and also the BCC site! There are areas of the latter that I simply do not read as too scary.

I think having a treatment plan will be good although the side effects of the treatments can clearly be very difficult for some, not all, people. Will have to deal with that when the time for it arrives.

I think if you go onto the BCC site forums you'll find others who've got useful experience to share. I have had discussions with people I know personally who have been through mastectomy and chemo and come out the other end v successfully so take heart.

I'm not watching Corrie but I've heard about that story-line!