TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

Oh I think you would definitely know if he didn't want to go MAS. He does sound a lovely sensitive boy, and that will make him popular with the girls in a year or two!

Sometimes I think we hurt more on their behalf than they do for themselves. Try not to worry.

Bugger to the bronchial infection. Horrid at any time of the year but especially when so cold. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon. xx

Hi there. Just want to endorse the wonder of ginger wine! I tired some recently at a shop taster session and it took me direct;ly back to my child-hood - I bought 3 bottles and have been enjoying it.

Our Oz friends arrived 5 hours late last night due to airport delays but we kicked off the season with a great dinner and it was fun. I find I occasionally foget about the BC diagnosis for quarter of an hour at a time, which is progress. I'm being really careful about how many friends I disclose it to, as one of the diffiuclt things is managing with people's responses.

Sorry some of you are dealing with stuff like burns and difficult appointments right now, but hope you all have a lovely christmas week - I always enjoy this week because the parcels and cards have gone, and I like cooking. And this year as I've been unexpectedly at home, the house is laready decorated and I think I'll really be able to enjoy the prep of trimming-type things as most things are ready.

Snow, christmas shopping, 5 kids, insane mil and projectile vomit- all encountered in less than an hour this afternoon [arghhhhh]

off to find the gin!

who was projectile vomiting RWU ? MIL ?
Had a lovely day -lunch at my parents with my brother SIL and niece -was great..
sandripples -other people's reactions are difficult to handle really- most people I told were fab but some people can be funny. Now most people think I'm 'over it' and better,which of course I am in many ways, but I guess it's not really that simple. Am really looking forward to ginger wine and Strictly

long story! but it was dd with the projectile vomit, all over the organic lentil weavery place in town- really not pretty! will update fully but have to go visit MIL in hosp will also catch up with what's been going on with you lot later

Sounds a hectic day RWU, - hope your MIL is OK?

SandRipples (I love your name by the way) nice to see you again, I'm glad you're enjoying the Christmas preparations. It can be hard dealing with other people's responses, you just have to do whatever feels comfortable for you.

My bronchial thing is a lot better today - think the AB's have started working at last. So I was able to go out with DH and do a bit of Christmas shopping (surprisingly not too busy - probably because of the snow).
Talking of ginger wine, I made a Christmas cake this year (haven't for several years) and used a new recipe with ginger wine instead of brandy. It smells lovely .

MAS - I'm watching strictly with DD. (armed with a bag of minstrels and a bottle of schloer) Who do you want to win? I like both couples, but sort of hope Chris will edge it.

Hope MIL is ok RWU and of course poor dd...
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better KK - Christmas cake sounds yum ! We were so stuffed from lunch that we just had fruit and crisps for supper (and a ginger wine for me,natch) Loved Strictly and am glad Chris won- was won over by him in the end !

have had a (brief) catch up KK glad to hear things are getting better, Sandripples- i know it's hard but alcohol helps me forget for a while

MIL is a numpty old bat (in a nutshell!) she's far to independant for her own good and at the grand old age of 80 one would hope that she has some sense, but it would seem that it isn't the case.

Quick history- yesterday she phoned SIL at work "when are you comming home because i really don't feel well" SIL promptly leaves work to get back to her and finds her slumped in the armchair barely able to move and brings her to Hospital (MIL and SIL live about an hour and a half away from us, and our hospital is the nearest to them iyswim) this was at 4.30pm yesterday, they agreed between them that they would keep it quiet until they knew the score as there was no point in us even knowing. So 7.30 am this morning as we were enjoying a snuggle in bed with the kids, both of our phones started going mad, SIL texted both of us to say "MIL is hosp, ring me asap" i also had one from our neighbour to say "my DD is having apendectemy as we speak" or words to that effect. Cue much hysteria in the house as we all scrammble to find out what the blardy hell is happening.

So it turns out that MIL has been having TIA's (mini brain bleeds/ tiny strokes) for at least eight weeks and when questioned she has been claiming that she is still getting over the bad cold that she had yesterday was a full blown stroke. So she is now in hospital for the forseeable future and the best of it is SIL is off on a kenyan safari on 4th Jan so me and DH will be travelling backwards and forwards to check on MIL for 3 weeks [oh joy]

add to this the christmas shopping that needs to be done before tues, dd re-decorating the upmarket organic snob shop, having to drag all the boys out with us to town in the blardy snow whilst dh went to see MIL, and feeling generally like shite its been a great day on the postive side i sat laughing at the eco-mentalists and their poxy prius' who got stuck in the snow whilst i whizzed past in my 4x4 i certainly wasn't going to pull anyone out who had previously preached at me about slaughtering polar bears with my diesel engine

Off to bed now and hopefully i'll find out it was all a horrible nightmare when i wake up [doubtful]

still liking the smiley hats !!!

That was one stressful day RWU ! Sorry about poor MIL I hope she's picking up a little bit, do they know yet if she is badly affected by the stroke?

I know its hard when family members need you, but make sure you get all the recovery time you need for your Op. don't overdo it.

Its sod's law that everything comes at once isn't it?
Hope your DD is better today

blimey RWU - poor MIL - it does all seem to happen at once, doesn't it ? As KK says, make sure you are looking after yourself too

I'm trying to feel sorry for the old bat but still at the angry phase that she did nothing atm also getting into practical mode trying to find out about homecare and meals on wheels for when she is released.

Selfish i know, but i was sooooo determined to have a fab christmas for the kids after such a crap year, and for whatever may come in the future- we said we wanted to make special memories this year for all sorts of reasons but mainly because we just don't know what is round the corner. Feeling a bit cheated now that it's not going to happen the way we wanted so have gone into a depressed 'woe is me' type of mood- hence the anger i think.

I guess it will make me even more determined to be not only alive but well enough to make next christmas the best one ever iyswim- gives me something to work towards if nothing else. Sorry to be a grumpy guts and down in the mouth but i don't really have anyone else around me to talk about it to, best friend is coping with her DD having just had an op, DH has enough on his plate and eveyone else around me is prancing around with santa hats on and i feel like slapping them!

a good dose of wine tonight should help, a good cry and possibly a rant at someone and i should snap out of it. Grrrrrrr!!

RWU - bugger !! I can completely understand where you're coming from - feel free to let it all out here - am sure you'll still have a lovely Christmas

thanks- it helps knowing that someone else can see my point of view re the rage!! i'm sure once i have a cry and a shout then everything will seem a bit better

All pressies now out of the loft and sitting in my bedroon- not entirely sure where me and dh are supposed to sleep- can't put them under the tree (as if they'd fit anyway!) as dd will have them quick as flash lightning (we don't do the santa thing so kids know we buy the gifts!)

RWU. It is not at all selfish to be pissed off at the turn of events, come on here and rant all you want, its good to get the anger out of your system.

It is hard for your DH, but the important thing is that you get your op.out of the way and recover, you need to prioritise yourself.

You'll have a lovely Christmas with your family, and you are giving your children special memories every moment you are with them, happy,sad, grumpy, or funny, they will always know what a fantastic mum you are. xx

Commencing phase one of operation festive RWU: Santa hat on, festive apron on, mince pies in the oven, cinnamon biscuits cooling, entire chocolate orange scoffed

Phase two consists of copious ammounts of booze so best to leave it until kids are in bed and DH is home

good for you RWU

KK - glad you like my name! I wanted something sea-related but my first few efforts were all taken. But I've always liked ripples on the sand when the tide's gone out.

RWU - so sorry to hear about the stroke as my mother had serious one then many small ones - can be v difficult for the family to handle. I had a Christmas being messed up once as my mother had her first big stroke shortly before one Christmas, but its a long time ago now, and I was young and hadn't been ill as you have been. My DH's aunt has had numerous problems recently and he is nearest relative so DH is having to divide up his supporting time as well as work. Aunt now back in hospital for about 4th time having broken femur this week.

I've spoken to both my children now about my diagnosis and op. So feel that's better. I also think there' no point panicking at present with so much still unknown. Have managed to think positive for at least a week! Cold, empty January will be more difficult but I've invited a friend to stay for a few days after the op.
Spent this morning bag- packing at big supermarket as part of fund=-raising with my son, so legs and back tired now.

KK - glad you like my name! I wanted something sea-related but my first few efforts were all taken. But I've always liked ripples on the sand when the tide's gone out.

RWU - so sorry to hear about the stroke as my mother had serious one then many small ones - can be v difficult for the family to handle. I had a Christmas being messed up once as my mother had her first big stroke shortly before one Christmas, but its a long time ago now, and I was young and hadn't been ill as you have been. My DH's aunt has had numerous problems recently and he is nearest relative so DH is having to divide up his supporting time as well as work. Aunt now back in hospital for about 4th time having broken femur this week.

I've spoken to both my children now about my diagnosis and op. So feel that's better. I also think there' no point panicking at present with so much still unknown. Have managed to think positive for at least a week! Cold, empty January will be more difficult but I've invited a friend to stay for a few days after the op.
Spent this morning bag- packing at big supermarket as part of fund=-raising with my son, so legs and back tired now.

sandripples- poor dh and aunt, why does it all seem to happen at christmas??

had to quickly pop on and tell you this- just dropped neighbour back up to the hospital, she'd been home to get a shower and pick up clean clothes etc. Put kids in the back of the car (in pj's dressing gowns and wellies ) and drove carefully as it's still icy. Halfway i saw someone motioning me to slow down and pull over and as we got closer it was a policeman , so pulled up and opened the window (wondering what my terrible crime was and wondering how DH would cope when i went to prison etc etc etc, btw have NEVER been pulled over before )

Nice copper peered in "hello madam are we all belted in?", "ummmm, yes officer, the children are all in car seats in the back", he had a look in the back and asked "so where are we off to tonight ladies?", "the hospital, just up the road there" (as if a copper doesn't know where the hospital is [doh]), a worried look came over his face "ahh, is someone not well?" neighbour butts in "my daughter, she's just had surgery and she's waiting for me to get back. Oh and her mother in law isn't in great shape either" The poor officer looked mortified and stammered "terribly sorry ladies, i don't want to hold you up, i just wanted to check you are taking proper precautions in this weather and i would have performed a 'winter check' but as you have something more important to do i'll let you get on your way"

i closed the window and (very carefully) pulled off and dropped neighbour at the hosp, drove back the same way we came and he'd disapeared!

I am guessing a winter check is a breath test and a tyre tread check (as it is the festive period and all that!) But how nice of him to be so kind- he could have made us go through the whole thing whilst the kids froze but he used some common sense and judgement!

RWU - thank good ness for nice policeman
sandripples - that's a good idea to invite friend for after op -it'll be helpful and supportive to have someone around..your attitude sounds good and positive and I think having a good Christmas will raise your general resilience to what you're facing in January.

Blimey loads going on here then!

RWU - In laws are a pain in the bum, their timing is always appalling. But poor her, poor dh, and poor you. But I bet you'll manage to have a great Christmas - the kids certainly will, so vent on here, and then relax with large amounts of drink. It'll be fine.

I spent yesterdaywith my in-laws - they are both baying the moon as well. My FIL wanted was dying to leave the party we were all at so he could go to bingo: fine, except for the fact that he needed someone to drive him there, so he made a serious pest of himself badgering people to stop enjoying themselves and take him to bingo (three hours before it started). The man's a loon.

But you all sound like you are getting into the festive spirit, so good on you!

PS Thinking of you for tomorrow RWU!

oh yes, good luck tomorrow RWU - thinking of you !

RWU - I now know your reasons for asking for my email address !! I have just received a beautiful vase full of flowers from a very kind mumsnet santa donor and I realise now that you must've nominated me - I feel totally undeserving as I've certainly not had as rough a time as lots of people - in fact you should be having flowers ! but thank you so much.

ooh that sounds nice! Of course you deserve it! But what a lovely thought. Hope they brighten up a very snowy Christmas!

xx