TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

sandripples - I'm a real lurker on this thread, but I check in every now and then to see how everyone is doing.

My mum died from advanced breast cancer, almost 6 years ago, and although obviously she told me of her diagnosis (as I was, after all, 40 when we first found out!), one of the really difficult things for me was that she spent a lot of time trying to be my mum, and protecting me from what was really going on. Add that to the fact that we live 200+ miles away, it made it often very difficult for me. I just wanted to know what was really happening. I could appreciate that she was trying to protect me, but in the longer run, it made it harder.

So I would counsel you, as you have older DC, to be as honest as you can.

And good luck!

(Hoping it's alright to confess to being a long term lurker )

lurk away

hey BIWI in santa mode !
Sandripples - I think it was a good idea to tell your ds as SantaClausImWorthIt & KK say- he will be a support and you won't have the strain of hiding it away.
Am off to find you RWU !

RWU -I couldn't find you !

Hi all

Well done sandripples for telling your ds. You don't need the strain of keeping it quiet and being strong. He will want to support you anyway and he deserves that chance.

Welcome SantaBIWI - lurk away, I am touched that you are interested enough to do so!

Just been to the school Xmas play AGAIN - they do it three times and I like her to have one of her own there for each performance, especially while she is so little. It's over with now, though - and not a moment too soon, the face paint is making her a bit sore!

RWU- how were your multifarious Christmas plays - you must be exhausted!

Gutted! That's what I am - gutted!

In my family I am well known for NEVER getting anything for nothing. On the one occasion when I found a £20 note that could not be reunited with its owner, I subsequently lost a £20 note so I was back to square 1.

Two weeks ago, I renewed my car insurance. This week I got a £50 cashback that I was not aware I was due for. True to form, I have just gone to the cashpoint, asked for £50 cash, and forgotten to take it. Raced back ten minutes later, obviously not there, and not handed in at the customer services desk either. Just gone! Sob! Back to suqare 1 again!

Oh Cakes how annoying for you. I'm always doing absent minded things so I sympathise with your guttedness. Have to say I am (but not that surprised unfortunately) that some bastardone would take cash left in a machine, and not hand it in.

oh Cakes that's rotten...horrid person who wasn't honest enough to hand it in

Thank you, both. I would have handed it in too. Glad I am still not the only one. I feel like such a wally.

Lovely dh offered to give me the money. obviously I haven't taken it, that's not really the point, but I don't deserve him. if he did the same thing i'd have called him an idiot

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow RWU,
hope it all goes well xx

oh yes, lots of luck RWU - will be thinking of you x

Good luck from me too - have been thinking about you this morning. Hope all goes well!

Done! having general- will tell full story later- too busy chasing children into the bath atm!

phew ! well done RWU

Well done for getting your general RWU (I have visions of you kicking some anaesthetist ass )

cakes- sorry i've only just caught up with the cashback thing- i do things like that too, doesn't give you much faith in mankind does it! bless your dh though

right i am in on Tuesday for the op, anaesthatist (really can't spell that one!) was a real darling, looked about twelve but maybe thats just me getting old we discussed epidural and he said i would also be sedated at which point i looked worried and told him the whole sorry tale of the last time (complete with tears and sobbing!) he then said that there was no way he could agree to a sedation as i would be feeling far too anxious and scared of the whole thing and it would leave me trapped in fear apparently so we moved on to the subject of the dodgy reaction to the last general and he totally put my mind at rest by being very hazy and saying that 1 in 4 people require extra help to come out of a general- so all in all it was not a problem.

He also admitted that no-one weighed me before i went in, therefore they were working on a weight taken at my last clinic assesment in November which was wildly out as i have lost a dramatic ammount of weight on the dreaded swamp goo and cardboard- therefore that MAY have contributed

All in all i am happy, we've come to the conclusion that my feelings were right and i've got my own way!

Today DD and me went to the flying start Christmas Party, DD just raided the food all afternoon and danced around, i caught up with people i haven't seen in quite a while- twas a good afternoon UNTIL santa turned up, DD had a dicky fit and threw herself (complete with egg sarnie) on the floor kicking and screaming, flung the present back at him and refused to sit on his knee for a photo thankfully i didn't take the boys as i don't think i could cope with 5 santa-haters in a room with him- the boys would have battered him for upsetting DD

oh I'm so glad he was nice and that you'll be looked after properly RWU ...will you be out for Christmas though ? Poor dd and Santa - she has spirit !

anaesthetist is happy for me to go home same day (providing bp is ok and i'm under for under an hour iyswim) just got to persuade surgeon that this is a good idea district nurse can visit if need be, but apparently i will feel ten times better immediatly because there won't be any pressure on my organs here's to christmas sitting on the sofa barking orders [fgin] hate hosp so if i can be out same day i shall do a (very little and non-strenuous!) dance on the way out

BTW i've gone smiley mad because i like the hats !

ooh a [fgin] emotion- festive gin- thats a fab idea !

!!

Well done RWU - anaesthetist sounds lovely (if youthful) and so pleased you got your way. Out cold is the ONLY way.

Your dd sounds great - mine always hated strange men in beards when she was little as well and, all in all, I can't say that is a bad thing, really.

I'll bet you will feel better straight away, especially if festive gin can play a part. Can it?

I bought some posh bottles of Chablis as a special reserve stash for me and DH - but we tried one just to see how nice they were, and they were very nice indeed. So now three have gone and - as DD's advent calendar tells me - there are still 7 sleeps until Christmas. oops

Had my check uo with BC nurse on Wednesday. I was feeling pretty Ok but she said my burns were red raw. Now that she has said it, they feel horrid. Talk about the power of suggestion

oh dear about red raw - do you feel sore ? it does heal up pretty quickly in my experience - the dressings were fab.
at wine tasting quality control ! We have been having festive ginger wine which is warming and delicious and I think medicinal. Sat through hours of Christmas Concert yesterday -7 until after 10 -so tired ! Bits were really good, ds's choir sang nicely and best of all was the excellent staff choir on their first outing -really beautiful.Ds upset afterwards as he finds the music groups a bit isolating- not so many of the people he knows there -few boys-he said he felt lonely

Really pleased you had a good consultation yesterday RWU. Anaesthetist sounds lovely - I withdraw my remark about kicking ass!.And great you can get home on the same day, hopefully you will feel a lot more comfortable once its dealt with.

Sorry your burns are so sore Cakes, [fwincing],have they given you anything to help with it?

Concert sounds wonderful MAS, sorry your DS was a bit upset afterwards. But good for him for sticking with something he enjoys and is obviously very good at. I'm sure he will gradually get to know people.

My DD used to be a father Christmas phobic as well, (I think it shows a great deal of sense!). I think she hated the big announcement and build up -'here he comes....!! etc.' because the one time she didn't mind was at a party when he just quietly wandered in and joined in the hokey cokey, and she just turned to me and said 'oh, its father Christmas' quite matter of factly .

I've got a bronchial infection at the moment (had to miss two Christmas parties this week)I've got AB's but they don't seem to be helping much as yet.

Had my treatment yesterday and saw my consultant. Apparently the herceptin is effecting my heart so I'm getting another echocardiogram in a few weeks and if the results are poor they'll stop the treatment. (Bugger). So I'll have to wait and see I guess. I'm not really worried (although like you said Cakes - as soon as i got out of his room I started imagining palpitations ), the next test might be better - who knows?

Hi all

Yes, I have dressings, and have now been told what i was doing wrong with them, so should be fine fairly quickly, no bother. (Was basically taking them off and applying cream, which apparently is not right Trust me.).

Loving the thought of ginger wine, think I may go out and get a bottle, it is lovely. And good for the digestion (I used to have a glass when i was on chemo, if we went for a drink and I was feeling nauseous. Not much alcolhol but a definite settling effect )

MAS your ds sounds so lovely, i bet him saying he feels lonely put a downer on the proceedings a bit for you. But good on him for sticking with something he feels passionately about and is good at. He will make like-minded friends, but your heart does ache for them sometimes, doesn't it?

My dd's friend, who is usually pretty non-spiteful (for a small girl) came into school with a face like thunder yesterday, and left looking similar. She was apparently mean to dd all day, and told her she hated her. obviously it's just a bit of six year olds nonsense, but poor dd was so dejected i almost wept myself.

KK - sorry to see the herceptin is having an effect: it's hard not to imagine symptoms. I am sure the heart muscle is capable of doing a bit of recovery post treatment, so try not to worry: and the cycling will be a help (though possibly not in this weather -we have just been out to buy dd a camera for Xmas, and all my extremities are numb with cold).

And I'm not sure why we have bought dd a camera better than mine. probably me trying to make up for being a moody and sickly Mum for months..

thanks for kind words - ds just takes friendship issues very seriously as he is very shy and quiet and finds 'socialising' tricky - he feels he's failed if he hasn't had a good,'chatty' day.. I hope he does like being in the choir -I guess he'd not go if he didn't - oh dear. Sorry to hear about dd's friend Cakes - is surely just one of those 6 yr olds things- will be fine again in no time.
Sorry to hear about heart thing KK -and bronchial infection-