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Original poster

Alcohol problem!!!

34 replies

Lulu41 · 01/06/2005 13:51

Not sure where to put his message so chose Health!! I have filled in the AA test and am apparently not an alcoholic but I have for the last few months found myself drinking every evening. It is usually 3 glasses of wine but sometimes go for the whole bottle depending on my mood. I also hide bottles or buy duplicates so that my dp does not know how much I have drunk. Been having a tough time and I suppose I drink because it deadens the pain of what I am feeling -has anybody got any suggestions as to how to stop - other than the obvious just stop buying the wine!!!

OP posts:
desperatehousewife · 01/06/2005 13:52

Tell your DP. Ask him for help. Be honest. nip it in the bud

koalabear · 01/06/2005 13:55

perhaps talk to counseller about underlying problem - maybe you are drinking for a reason, sort this reason out, and maybe the need for wine wont be so strong

by the way, your post hit home to me .... my mother hides bottles from my father - has from a long time - its bad for her, bad for her marriage, and it leads to her hiding alcolhol in other forms of drink (ie. scotch in a diet coke at 10 am)

i wish she had your strength to acknowledge a possible issue and want to take action - she just denies it all - good luck to you

Original poster
Lulu41 · 01/06/2005 14:07

Honesty is one of the main problems in our relationship - there really is none - I know I need to nip it in the bud before it really is a major problem - but my dp (use that term loosely) would just use it as another stick to beat me with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
koalabear · 01/06/2005 14:11

honey, sounds like you could REALLY use some productive help - having an unsupportive partner who uses human frailty as a "stick" is just not fair

as DHW says, go to your GP - this is about your physical and emotional health first and foremost - you've done the hardest part by identifying a problem which you are uncomfortable with, so now, take the next baby step, and tell you GP you need to talk to someone about it

can you o ring and make appointment now?

and we'll all be here for you in the electronic ether for if you need to talk

koalabear · 01/06/2005 14:12

ps. sounds like the wine is sympton not cause

Original poster
Lulu41 · 01/06/2005 14:16

Could have posted under relationship or feeling depressed thought I would start here. Thank you for being there but what would GP say to me apart from stop drinking?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lulu41 · 01/06/2005 14:16

Could have posted under relationship or feeling depressed thought I would start here. Thank you for being there but what would GP say to me apart from stop drinking?

OP posts:
koalabear · 01/06/2005 14:18

i would say to GP that i need to see a counsellor because i am feeling depressed and don't want to go onto antidepressants, but would like to try to solve the problem by talking about it

if the gp delves, you could say that you believe you are drinking too much as a way of coping

if not result from gp, there are other counselling services you could try, but i think the GP is the best place to start as is free

i also think going to the GP is more effective if you tell them what you want ie. "I want to see a counsellor"

do you think this would work maybe?

koalabear · 01/06/2005 14:19

ps. not that there is anything wrong with antidepressants

LottieG · 01/06/2005 14:20

Hi Lulu,
Your GP might be able to refer you for counselling or suggest other routes that could help you stop drinking.

LottieG · 01/06/2005 14:21

Cross-posts Koala
You put it much better than me

handlemecarefully · 01/06/2005 14:32

I have been drinking that quantity regularly. I find that if alcohol is in the house I drink it freely and every night. If I don't keep it in the house, I don't really think about it.

It could be as simple as that for you? I.e. don't buy it and stock it at home...

handlemecarefully · 01/06/2005 14:33

I'm also a bit low (medicated) so I do understand where you are coming from

Original poster
Lulu41 · 01/06/2005 14:43

Have just stopped taking anti depressants having been on them for over a year. Do try not to buy a bottle on the way home, maybe I just need to try a little harder!!!!

OP posts:
teeavee · 01/06/2005 14:51

I would agree that whenever there is alcohol in the house, it's so easy to succumb.
Try not to have any in.

dinny · 01/06/2005 14:56

have a relaxing bath instead (that old chestnut...)
I have been drinking far too regularly recently too - to unwind, I suppose. it's just so tempting once children have gone to bed to pour a glass.

FrumpyGrumpy · 01/06/2005 15:01

Having a day and just posted a mad rant elsewhere. Saw this and thought it sounded a bit me-ish, only I'm finding I have to have one or two to get through bathtime!! Where is the alcohol questionnaire?

dinny · 01/06/2005 15:04

\link{http://www.aa-gb.com/isaa4u.shtml
here, Frumpygrumpy

dinny · 01/06/2005 15:05

can't do link - sorry!

btw, expect lots of people will read this thread and identify with it. I may stop drinking on weekdays.

Caligula · 01/06/2005 15:18

Can you keep a diary of when you drink and what the catalyst is? For example, is it habitual - Desperate Housewives is on, therefore it's time to open a bottle of wine, or is it as a "treat" time thing - in which case, choose a different treat, like a bath or giving yourself a manicure. Also, be aware that most women who drink alcohol crave it more in the days just before menstruation (just like chocolate), so choose just after you've had a period to cut down. Also, how about limiting yourself to say, 2 bottles a week - have just a couple of glasses from the bottle each time, and try and have at least 2 alcohol-free days a week.

My technique is to open a bottle of wine on Wednesday at 10PM (Desperate Housewives!) and to have one or two glasses. Then on Friday one or 2 more - American Idol! By Sunday or Monday, the bottle is usually gone, and I don't open another one till next Wednesday. That way, instead of being habitual, it's a treat and I only drink a bottle a week. If I fancy a drink on Tuesday, then that has to come out of the weekly allowance!

dinny · 01/06/2005 15:23

good advice, Caligula. so you have one bottle per week maximum?

handlemecarefully · 01/06/2005 15:23

I think that's right - it is an emotional dependence on alcohol very often (i.e. I deserve a treat) and so habit forming.

Better to try and form a habit with a different treat - so whatever cuts it for you?

I find putting aside some personal time to read a thoroughly trivial glossy magazine after the kids of bed feels sufficiently treat like sometimes (sad eh?), or a bit of retail therapy with on line shopping....

dinny · 01/06/2005 15:25

does drinking really make it hard to diet too? it's just empty calories, I suppose..

handlemecarefully · 01/06/2005 15:28

Damn right it does. Two cans of budweiser about 600 cals I think. Most of my excess weight is beer gut.

dinny · 01/06/2005 15:30

blimey - how about wine?

really stressing have hurt ds by bfing when drinking.

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