Guava Guava Guava Hey! Over The dill With The Strawbs Of A Thousand Men - 10/10 thread

[TooTicky]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

"the people that make that are not a nice company, we don't buy from them. some companies are fair and treat people well, and some are greedy and treat people badly. These ones aren't nice so we don't buy their stuff."

i didn't know haagen daaz was nestle

everyone slept badly and that combined with my mother looking after ds this morning is making me RATHER TENSE

you know she was going to look after ds then she wasn't? well their car has broken down and has to be fixed before she can go home and i listened for ages to how she was going to have to sit in the hotel all morning waiting before blurting out "i am embarrassed to ask as you have already said no once but PLEASE could you look after ds for me"
i should not really have asked should i
but he would have had to come to work with me for 4 hours, not much fun is it
all my childcare people seem to go on holiday / take exams / be ill all at once
next week i have about 10 people i could ask

helloo!

will catch up later.

I am unaware of what binca is. [dunce]

I think I live in a little world of my own most of the time. But it is nice.

Hooray for stubborn 4 year olds Mine doesn't get it from me at all either

My graze box is going to have grapes today too Franny! I didn't do my preferences in time, was hoping for cherries or pineapple

It's so interesting, isn't it. I'm with Toot and read about the 3/4y-olds and smile with recognition and think 'and so it begins' rather than 'I remember that phase'. I particularly am grinning at FK's ds's 'no they don't'. That is ver familiar.

Also it makes me think that the major drawback with UP or HTT or whatever is that you have read the book, and they haven't. And I think that there may well be a strong degree of manipulation in the parent/child relationship - which Alfie doesn't, does he? Or says that there shouldn't be. So the child uses every trick in his box to get what he wants / to get you to do what he wants / to control the situation / to fulfill his desires. Whereas the parent, as the adult, is thinking about the long game, and trying not to manipulate them back. Whereas perhaps they should? The older they are the more you can dress this manipulation up as reasoning. Like with scooter girl - you could say 'You know you are safe, but if I can't see you then I don't know that and that is completely rubbish and hopeless for me. So can you be in charge of making sure I can see you please, then I'll know you have not fallen off the pavement and under the wheels of a car. If you go around a corner, stop and check that I can still see you. Can you take that on please?'

These are my morning thoughts - I am interested to hear what others think.

I've eaten loads of f&v recently fwiw. Had huge fruit salad with loads of mango, pineapple, strawberries, banana, apples last night. Was delicious. DS1 graded all fruits as he ate them out of 10. The highest was a plum which came in with a 7.5. Not a fruit person, clearly.

Though I suppose it's about how you manipulate them to get them to do what you want, really isn't it?

Withdrawing love, not good, positive affirmation, an improvement, modelling behaviour you desire, a step up, screaming like a banshee, not helpful, naughty step, a bit pointless. Perhaps that's what all the discussions are about?

The thing is, if you do it all slowly and sensibly and use lots of reason and it works, then that is great, obviously, BUT I don't think the satisfaction outweighs the mental exhaustion. And then you still have to do it all again next time.

I am at a loss with dd2 because she is immune to the threats of money-docking that have surprising effect with the others.

I do try (and manage) to keep my temper mostly. But yesterday I threw the last piece of cake into a hedge with some venom.
And the other day somebody honked me for no good reason so I pulled away too fast and made a hand gesture. Not sure if dd1 and ds1 were more shocked or impressed

I think maybe the children set me bad examples. Yes, that's what it is.

Raisins, strawberries, grapes.

I think that's it too I had a dreadful fight with ds1 last night when we came back from the park, we both lost our tempers super-quick and got cross. I can't believe the bad habits I'm picking up from him!

"So the child uses every trick in his box to get what he wants / to get you to do what he wants / to control the situation / to fulfill his desires"

oh crikey moses yes

dd1 will wind us up deliberately so we end up just walking off

RESULT: she doesn't have to do whatever she was trying to get out of doing (reading aloud; homework; eating; whatever)

also HTT is not fine if you have taciturn closed book of a child who doesn't say anything to you about anything to even start the conversation. You can't name a feeling when there is nothing to work with.

In other news, the new regime of not buying cereals but having homemade muesli instead is going so well here . Children delighted - really happy - with spooning out the appley oats, adding their yogurt, seeds, dried cranberries and almonds (dd2 calls them 'Romans') from the pretty jars and finally their chopped fresh fruit (today - mango).

Then they sit in front of it without moving their spoons for 20 minutes and then we throw it in the bin and brush their teeth and take them to school.

It's just idyllic up until the bin bit.

yes yes Franny of course you should have asked your mother

it's important for our mental health that we keep all our guilt in the one place

Great!! We are agreed. Let's write a parenting manual

at ReallyReally's muesli success

That is, of course, a snort of situation recognition, not derision.

Toot's right, it's the everydayness of it. When you are feeling happy and the sun is shining and things are good, you can do all the reasoning and explaining and skillful manipulation - every fricking day - but sometimes, when the scooter has been abandoned for the 15th time and the child has decided she'd like to be carried instead, along with all the shopping and the scooter, you choke on your 'wouldn't it be great to be carried everywhere and never have to walk - I'd like that too, that would be great!' and instead you say 'PICK UP YOUR SCOOTER OR I WILL HURL IT OVER THAT WALL, I'M NOT A BLOODY PACK ANIMAL AND I'M TIRED AND THIS BAG HAS JUST SPLIT LEAKING YOGHURT DOWN MY LEG AND I'M ALREADY CARRYING TWO SCHOOL BAGS AND I FORGOT THE MILK AND I WON'T DO IT SO STOP ASKING ME NOW'.

I once threw dd1s dolly and dolls buggy in a wheelie bin during similar exhausted outburst when i was heavily pg, and she was two and prone to lying on the pavement refusing to move. I had to go back under cover of darkness to retrieve it.

you are all Ver funny today! Franny, you should effo write how to talk so bigots will listen etc.
Rofl at muesli. That is like cooking with the children on HMS MollyRoger. We spend happy productive hours growing the food together, researching recipes, cooking ogether, and then sit down at table to admire our handywork. The glowing, beaming boys then say politely: ''no thank you, I don't believe I will actually eat that actually, no siree Bob. You have it, mum...''

melon
apricots
banana
lentil/celery/carrot soup

tea will be courgette and onion fritatat and salad and that.

Boco

I once abandoned a bike in a hedge after ds1 decided he would like me to pull him all the way up the hill while he didn't actually pedal at all. It was still there on the way home so that was okay.

Tomatoes.
Ickle bits f broccoli and courgetteand onion in couscous.
Small bunch of elderflowers.

I once read a description of eating elderflowers straight from the bush...something about biting into creamy frothiness. They were obviously describing the appearance alone as they didn't mention the chewy bitterness at all.

Where IS Pink? I hope she is okay.

oh lawks at the dolly pram in a wheely bin that is the kind of thing i would do
the last big temper i had that i feel really ashamed of was asking ds1 to clear up his teddies and animals off the floor
it felt like about the 19th time that day or something
so i went and grabbed them all and chucked them into his room in a very cross and aggressive fashion, and stomped off
when i came back 10 mins later having calmed down he was cradling them in his arms and putting plasters and bandages on them
and said "don't hurt them again please mummy"

toot flowers do not count as fruit, or vegetables
don't start me off

i asked my mum if she actually knew anyone from another country
after a very brief period of head scratching she admitted not
i asked her to consider if this fact was related to wanting to vote UKIP

Oh Franny, the teddies!
(I have done similar)

And flowers should bloody well count. I was even thinking about 10/10 as I chewed. And chewed. And chewed.
WHY do they not count?
Shall we just discount cauliflower and broccoli while we're at it? Hmm?

I remember when I was trying to have a clearout and suggesting that dd1 get rid of some things she didn't really play with. She suddenly started to take it rather seriously and dressed her baby dolly and made sure she had her little teddy ready for going out into the world...and saying goodbye...my god I am welling up remembering it!!
Needless to say the dolly stayed and I felt thoroughly ashamed of myself for having suggested it.

All of your stories are really making me laugh, but in a nervous way as I know I have this to come.

Baby Lemur already shows flashes of temper personality. On the whole he is quite a mellow fella, but every so often he throws a wobbler and I just stare at him in a bit of clueless way as it's so unlike him.

Did your Mum actually look after ds1 Franny? And yes you should have asked her again, I would have.

the sight of dd1 crying and kissing her dollies goodbye before putting them in a bin bag will stay with me forever

even though she had not played with them for over a year

I do clear outs when the house is empty now

I love Shredded Wheat. Can you get own brand shredded wheat? If not I am going to carry on eating it. Sorry. Well, I will at least finish the box.

My graze grapes were slightly below par today too, Franny. I was hoping for ;ineapple again but the dried raspberries were spectacularly delicious and made up for it. I don't seem to have codes for free boxes for people only get a box for a pounds ones which don't draw in the same crowds.

I like my children, but I like them to do what I say at least some of the time and sometimes this is not what they want to do and I haven't got the energy to ask if this makes them feel frustrated so I tell them to just do it. Other times I say do what you want.