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Original poster

My pregnant friend has just had a skiing accident...

167 replies

pavlovthecat · 07/03/2009 18:55

I am furious with her and her DP. Well, I am now I know she and baby are ok.

She has fractured her leg, skiiing in USA, while 16 weeks pg.

She has never been skiing before, thought it would be a good time to try, seeing her dp insisted she would be fine (apparantly gp said it was ok). And now she is likely to be in USA for a few weeks before she can fly home.

How could she put herself and her unborn child in danger like that?

I did not put this in AIBU, because to be honest, I don't think I am. I feel very cross.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/03/2009 08:37

Yes, pavlov, I meant what state country-wise.

I can't imagine rehabbing that knee whilst pregnant, tbh.

The success of the operation depends on the grafts revascularising, too, that means getting moving.

But it was bad enough physio wise when you're a fit, healthy, slim young person.

Can't imagine being pregnant and the strain of that on the joint that's trying to heal.

I've broken many bones but tbh the soft tissue injuries I sustained were far worse.

georgimama · 08/03/2009 08:39

I know this isn't AIBU but whilst skiing for the first time ever during pregnancy is clearly approaching Darwin Awards levels of stupidity, I'm not sure why you're angry with her?

I'd just thinking "how fucking stupid must you be". In fact I'd have said it to her face before she went.

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 08:40

Thing is, it is not just about damage to the baby - I agree, baby is well protected in there, but also my friend now has to manage a serious injury to her knee as well as experiencing her first pregnancy. That is why I am so annoyed for her. And No, not all pregnancies are smooth and perfect, but many pregnancies which have not perfect are as a result of something beyond your control, not as a consequence of something you could have avoided.

My biggest concern now is that my friend, who is already terrified of putting on excess weight in pregnancy, who usually goes to the gym 5 times a week to keep her weight down, is now confined to a bed for goodness knows how many weeks, then when she is mobile will not be able to do anything about her weight, (two lots of weight, normal baby weight and the weight she keeps down due to exercise), will not be as mobile as before and will seriously impact on her enjoyment her pregnancy, and who knows how long from that. Her DP has an away job, he is away for months at a time, so it is not like she can rely on him to be at her beck and call if she struggles.

That is why I am furious, it was avoidable.

OP posts:
Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 08:40

Anway, today I am less furious, and more upset that I can't go and see her, check out how she is, give her a hug, buy her some magazines, talk about babies.

OP posts:
dragonbutter · 08/03/2009 08:42

she's angry because she cares georgimama and because she didn't listen to her.

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 08:45

Georgie - that is pretty much was I think. And I did tell her before she went. But I am not annoyed that she didn't listen to me, why on earth would she? It was her choice, never considered that she should not do something because she was told not to, but that she actually chose to do it, and now she is going to suffer horribly and I wish she did not have to.

OP posts:
Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 08:46

dragon x-posted there, my first line was not aimed at your post! I am anonyed that she did not listen at all rather than at me in particular I guess is what I mean.

You are right, I am angry because I care.

OP posts:
Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 08:54

Dragon - this is going so fast, I had not seen your post saying morning - so morning!!! I shall introduce her, she has not shown much interest so far in mags, or internet stuff or this, but perhaps she will when she gets back. Maybe I will get rid of this thread though eh? .

Expat Alicecrail [shock really? Oh no! I shall tell her get vits and calcium down her. I dear.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/03/2009 09:01

Yes, pavlov.

The first thing you want to get back after a knee injury like that is full range of motion.

You do that by taking a pain killer about 1/2 hour before your physio appointment.

You do stuff like try to turn a full revolution on a bike, and pulling your foot towards your bum with a towel.

You also work on getting all the muscles back in the entire leg because it atrophies big time after major injury, and that can lead to painful tendonitis.

I can't imagine having the extra weight of a pregnancy on top of that.

She really fucked up, tbh, because rehabing and pregnancy aren't a good mix.

I was on Darvocet for weeks.

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 09:04

expat - if she has broken her femur as well (apparantly that is a simple break, pinned with a large pin), will she be able to walk on that anytime soon?

I am wondering if she will be on crutches, or a wheelchair and for how long...

I am worried about her house. She has steps and steep stairs.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/03/2009 09:07

It really depends as to when she'll be able to walk.

When I did my knee I did walk right away, because immobility for that type of injury is not advised in the US, where they want you to get moving on that sort of thing and hopefully avoid clots and get your ROM back.

BUT, I had a big brace for about 6 weeks and I had to use sticks to walk for support.

And I hadn't broken my leg as well.

She's screwed if she had a lot of steps.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/03/2009 09:08

Pavlov,
I am not surprised you're annoyed.

From reading this it appears to me that this lady's stupid partner put her up to it with the consequence that she's now in hospital with a busted femur and permanent knee damage. He clearly had not learnt from his own experience with the mountain bike (I bet he gave that up since). I sincerely hope they pin the femur properly with good quality pins otherwise she will be looking at further surgery years later for a total hip replacement. Also her knee damage could give her more trouble in the years to come; arthritis being one complication.

He's the one I'd be having a go at. Fool that he is.

Do you know if this woman actually went to a dry ski slope as a taster first for skiing?. She may not have wanted to try it at all having done that.

He should be getting the flack and I am only glad to see that she was properly insured (the medical bill would be horrendous otherwise. It will be anyway. Also one of the first things US hospitals ask is how the patient will pay).

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 09:12

Atilla - she did do dry slop practice, not much, but some (4-5 sessions?). And her boyfriend did not learn his lesson - he bought himself body armour instead so better protect himself. However, a biking friend of his has seriously damaged his shoulder/arm and was very lucky he did not lose it completely, only recently, and he was wearing body armour.

Expat -well, fingers crossed she can walk on her other leg soon, and get some mobility. I am afraid she might have to go back home if she is not able to manage stairs...which means she will have her parents, but lose all her friendship support, and those around her with young children to help her.

OP posts:
dragonbutter · 08/03/2009 09:18

she is not screwed if she has lots of steps.
rehab and pregnancy is also perfectly feasible.
pav, she will be fine.
everybody's rehab and recovery times will be different also so you can't apply expats experience to your friend.
different surgeons will want full weight bearing or partial or non, it's not set in stone for a particulr type of injury.

don't worry.
it's not convenient by any means but she will get her rehab.
luckily she's not likely to give birth soon, so she should be much more comfortable by her due date. can you imagine giving birth wearing a full leg cast?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/03/2009 09:20

Well she did some dry ski slope practice but that's very different from being on the slopes themselves. Did she not have further lessons when she arrived in the US?. I hope she did not take straight to the piste; she was ill prepared anyway for that and likely had the bindings far too tight (that could also account for the injuries sustained).

Her stupid partner is still being stupid isn't he?. Bet these two don't have wills either.

Again he should be taking the flack for his partner's accident. He put her up to it and she foolishly went along with it.

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 09:35

Dragon - I am not so much likening it, just trying to gauge what might happen...I am nosey like that!!! And I guess I always prefer worst case scenario, then anything better than that is a bonus and something to be pleased about...rather than think the best and anything else is negative and something to be disappointed about...

I will be there no matter what though, and they have dining room and front room so she can make one of those into a bedroom if she has to be downstairs for a while.

OP posts:
georgimama · 08/03/2009 09:38

I don't understand why her partner gets all the flack though in the last few posts. It may have been his moronic idea, but she's a grown adult and she didn't have to say yes.

dragonbutter · 08/03/2009 09:38

i'm sure she'll make it up the stairs.
unless she's broken both arms and legs.
(have i ever told you what i do for a living?)

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 09:48

No, but I am guessing its Dr/Nurse related?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/03/2009 09:48

Well he should take some of the responsibility because his partner had never gone skiing before and he told her that she'd be alright. Its her fault as well but he should shoulder some of the blame too.

Original poster
pavlovthecat · 08/03/2009 09:49

Or, physio related?

OP posts:
StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 08/03/2009 09:57

Most GPs will say its fine to ski as they're all skiers themselves. But most of them will have been skiing for the last 20 years and forgotten how much you fall over the first couple of times you go.

georgimama · 08/03/2009 09:57

No, don't get it. If someone tells you it's OK to do something that is clearly stupid, a bunch of other people tell you not to do it, and then you do it and get hurt, that is your fault and no one else's.

dragonbutter · 08/03/2009 10:00

yup, physio.
i agree with georgimama that it is her own responsibility, nobody elses.

LucyEllensmummy · 08/03/2009 11:02

Totally irresponsible, i have friends who continued to horse ride when pregnant, and i don't care how good you are, or how good your horse it, it might slip, be spooked or anything - its selfish.