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Fag Free for 2005....Join us.....We need Help!

425 replies

charliecat · 13/04/2005 10:41

I cried when I read how many failures theres been and applauded hub2dees approach as sometimes theres no point pussyfooting....come on guys! Its got to be done.
I am so so so gutted that theres been vile puffing going on...did you REALLY enjoy any of them. Truely satisfying were they? No No No! Tell you what though...waking up knowing that bastard nicotine monster has got no grip on me whatsoever is liberating. I could touch the sky with the high that im free. No chain round my neck.
Remember that just one is never just one and even if it was, why would you want JUST ONE? Your aim is to STOP FOREVER.

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mummylonglegs · 28/04/2005 14:41

hub2dee, ok scrub 'addiction' as one of my reasons, but I'm sticking with 'habit' because habit and addiction are very different in my opinion. Even when the addiction to nicotine is gone when someone is in the process of giving up, the habit still has to be kicked and it's the hardest part. Sir Carr points that out very well in his book, but I also recognise it from experience. I guess my other third reason is the most pathetic but I am trying to be honest. I like cigarettes. And the things that go with them. I like the packets, the lighters, the feel of them in my fingers. Mad, huh? Oh, yes, and I actually 'like' the act of sneaking off for fags. I'm a secretive soul by nature and it feels like it's 'mine.' Maybe like when you sneak off to the fridge ...

I do do the psychological torture stuff on myself all the time, i.e. what would dd do if something happened to me, etc. etc. It just gives me sleepless nights.

And yes, I would place smoking alongside other 'drug' addictions like cocaine. I think again there's a distinction between alcohol and food. For instance, 'most' people can control their alcohol intake (almost everyone drinks now and then but very few are alcoholics), and again 'most' people can control their food intake. So with alcohol and food the addiction is more person specific. It's incredibly rare you find a smoker who is really in control.

Re. the pleasure / pain side of things. I think there's a tiny masochist in all of us looking for a way out. So I'm really not so strange there.

mummylonglegs · 28/04/2005 14:44

I meant to say the addiction to alcohol and food is distinct from the addiction to nicotine. Also, of course, food addiction is different to alcohol as of the list of things you likened to smoking, eating is the only one that is necessary to survival. All the others are more or less destructive.

hub2dee · 28/04/2005 15:30

Thank you for your honesty.

OK. I accept 'habit' but it's not really the right word... I can't think of the right word, but I get the impressions it's the acoutrements (both physical and probably abstract) that are your number two (the lighters, the tactile feel, possibly the rich social archetypes / elaborations around 'woman who smokes'). I note that you mix this with your third reason, pleasure... sneaking off on your 'fag breaks for the secretive soul'.

The deliberations on alchohol / drugs / food / smoking are also interesting. Agree that eating food is the only one necessary for life, but the end result of any addiciton, in brief, is tragedy. Infact with time, as smoking gets banned / more people stop, food and / or obese people will be the next 'biggie'...

Anyhow, back to the fags.

Do you have any vehement anti-smokers around you or are your friends / colleagues either smokers / trying to be polite to you / afraid to use harsh words ? Would you find a world of encouragement if you decided to stop or would it just be your dd / dh that would be proud ?

Ref: doing the "psychological torture"... either the risk of illness appears to far away / unlikely.... so you continue in fear but fail to modify your behaviour; or else the motivation to stop is simply not strong enough - dd losing mummy just means daddy / extended family will look after her ? (so what's the problem there then, IYSWIM, presuming you were in the hereafter).

You've repeatedly referred, I think, to elements of control in your life. Do you feel (aside from smoking) that your (personal) universe is 'in control' ?

Finally, "Re. the pleasure / pain side of things. I think there's a tiny masochist in all of us looking for a way out. So I'm really not so strange there." actually, I think, yes, perhaps everyone, to a degree carries a little bit of self-doubt, self-hate, hurt etc., but you've actually chosen a 'therapy' that is sadistic (as well as masochistic) in that your actions impact others around you to a significant degree. I'm thinking people in a restaurant, dd's rôle model, I'm thinking dh's snogging partner (I know he smokes occasionally, but you get my drift), perhaps your parents if they're still alive etc.... and, erm, me. I care.

dropinthe · 28/04/2005 15:37

Gosh,this is deep! No wonder whymummy has kept away!-ever considered being a psycho-analyst Hub2dee rather than an "Actorrr"?

whymummy · 28/04/2005 15:45

hi everyone
drop has just dragged me here by the hair,lol,congratulations to everyone that's doing fine,i'm not but i will soon

dropinthe · 28/04/2005 15:47

Roll on the 7th May then why?

whymummy · 28/04/2005 15:52

make it the 9th is monday,but i will,i will,i will,watch this space.
thanks drop

hub2dee · 28/04/2005 16:11

erm... I haven't said I am actor, unless you mean I'm acting like a psychoanalyst.

Judging by my success rates on here I'd be out of business pretty quick, anyhoo.

mummylonglegs · 28/04/2005 20:59

Firstly, really sorry if I've zipped onto this thread and taken it in a direction the original posters would rather not. If so, please continue around me and hub2dee as we continue our cod psychology of the act of smoking.

But 'habit' IS the right word... Habit is the base line of all our basic behaviours, it conditions what we know and what we expect to happen. When habits get interrupted, doubts sneak in. The habit of smoking is, I often think, a way of keeping at bay other more unpredictable sides of life. It's an illusory neutralisation of the unexpected. (Sorry if I sound too complicated). In my mind, it is habit that makes smoking so deadly. The acoutrements, in contrast, are easily replaced. I also love bags, shoes, etc. But seeing as I'm usually broke, I get used to living without the best ones.

In fact, food and obesity are already a 'biggie', especially given the growing number of obese kids. But I still hold that although it's a real problem, it's different in kind to that of smoking. Just like anorexia is a different problem to bulimia. The distinctions aren't massively important in a way, but at the same time if one wants to really understand a problem it's important, I think, to get the details right.

None of my friends smoke. Nor anyone I work with (which is only 2 days a week). I don't know I can say they are all vehemently against smoking. None of them like it but I rarely smoke in front of them, never in their homes (or mine for that matter). I also don't smoke in public places. I am very aware how distasteful it is, and as I am ashamed of doing it I prefer to keep it discreet. This aspect also helps me keep my smoking levels down as I have to make more 'effort' to have a fag. At my peak, before pregnancy, I used to smoke at home, especially while writing, and I found I got through a ridiculous amount. Dp's never mentioned my breath. Yet! Although yes, of course he wants me to stop.

The motivation to stop is almost entirely dd-focused. No, we don't have any immediate family to speak of, certainly nobody who could look after dd unless you count my erratic gay brother. Dp would 'cope' but I've been consistently dd's main carer and our bond is enormous. Dp is lovely, but not a practical man. Every night she goes to bed I sit thinking how I love her and I still feel 'excited' about seeing her in the morning before she wakes up. Honest. She's my little star. Pre-dd my motivation was nil, I was a typical artist / student on a vague 'self-destruct' mission in the 'the world is shit so what the hell do I care' kind of way. I was like that from teendome into my mid-30's so the adjustment from that to someone who actually HAS to think differently is a tough one.

Oh, come on, does anyone feel their universe is 'in control'??? Given the world we currently live in? Of course not. All I can say is that my little corner, right now in the most important ways, is about the best it's ever been. Which is why I am so utterly flummoxed as to why now, of all times, I can't get my willpower together.

charliecat · 28/04/2005 21:15

Bloody Eck this is delving a bit deep into my small brain here
In plain english I will say that I know where your coming from Mummylonglegs...I know. In fact we all do, we have all battled with the demons that make us rationalise our reasons for smoking....but at the end of the day My life, and Yours too, in the end, even on the worst type of day IS better without smoking.
I dont have to worry about being embarressed about my filthy habit/addiction I no longer have to wake up wondering if this will be the day i finally have the strenght to fight the dirty evil bastard nicotine demon before it kills me....I dont stink when my kids come near me.
The list is endless. It really is. I am thankful that i am free. Are you thankful that you can smoke each day?
Do find something that gives you 5 minutes pleasure in the time a fag would fill. Gardening, reading the paper, having a quicky, whatever.
Thats my advice....no worrys about you two having a debate on the thread....I hope at the end of it though you stop and stay stopped

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charliecat · 28/04/2005 21:18

this? any use in your arguements?

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charliecat · 28/04/2005 21:21

Ask almost any current smoker why she continues to indulge in such a dangerous activity and she will normally reply, "Because I like smoking." While she may say this in all honesty, it is a very misleading statement, both to the listener and to the smoker herself. She does not smoke because she enjoys smoking, rather she smokes because she does not enjoy not smoking.

Nicotine is a powerfully addictive drug. The smoker is in a constant battle to maintain a narrow range of nicotine in her blood stream (serum nicotine level). Every time the smoker's serum nicotine level falls below the minimum limit, she experiences drug withdrawal. She becomes tense, irritable, anxious and, in some cases, even shows physical symptoms. She does not enjoy feeling these withdrawals. The only thing that will alleviate these acute symptoms will be a cigarette. The nicotine loss is then replenished and, hence, the smoker feels better. She enjoyed smoking.

A smoker must also be cautious not to exceed his upper limit of tolerance for nicotine or else suffer varying degrees of nicotine poisoning. Many smokers can attest to this condition. It usually occurs after parties or extremely tense situations when the smokers finds themselves exceeding their normal level of consumption. They feel sick, nauseous, dizzy and generally miserable.

Being a successful smoker is like being an accomplished tightrope walker. The smoker must constantly maintain a balance between these two painful extremes of too much or too little nicotine. The fear which accompanies initial smoking cessation is that the rest of the ex-smoker's entire life will be as horrible as the first few days without cigarettes. What ex-smokers will learn is that within a short period of time, the physical withdrawal will start to diminish. First, the urges will weaken in intensity and then become shorter in duration. There will be longer time intervals between urges. It will eventually reach the point where the ex-smoker will desire a cigarette very infrequently, if ever. Those who continue to smoke will continue to be in a constant battle of maintaining their serum nicotine level.

Included in this battle is the great expense of buying pack after pack and the dangerous assault on the smoker's body of inhaling the poison nicotine along with over 4,000 other toxic chemicals which comprise the tars and gasses produced from the combustion of tobacco. These chemicals are deadly by themselves and even more so in combination.

So the next time you think of how much you once seemed to enjoy cigarettes, sit back and take a serious, objective look at why you have such an idealization of this dangerous product. Consider all the consequences. You will probably realize that you feel physically and mentally better now than you ever did as a smoker. Consider all of this and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

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mummylonglegs · 28/04/2005 21:34

Thanks for that, cc, it's a great article. And I agree wholeheartedly with every word of it.

Ok, on a totally practical measure, my big big problem is how to start stopping. Just thinking about quitting makes me want a fag!

The first time I quit I was very young and had never smoked that much or that regularly and it was a doddle in a way. The second day was much harder and I did it by reducing the number massively and, as there weren't lozenges or patches etc., only having 1 puff when I was at desperation point. I got down to half a fag a day, then stopped. I stayed stopped for 1 1/2 years. Then last year I stopped for 2 months and I'm furious with myself that I started again. The turning point was the moment I bought a pack thinking I could have the odd one for pleasure. Ha! What an idiot. If I could get back to that point again I'd be so happy.

mummylonglegs · 28/04/2005 21:35

I mean the second time, not day!

dropinthe · 28/04/2005 23:07

My mother has always been a hardcore nicotine lover and is a very intelligent(if annoying) woman-she is 55 and has smoked heavily since she was 13! She would try to stop when I was little and it would only take one arguement with me (no other immediate family)and she would start again and verbally blame ME for the fact that she had started again-my guilt was immense throughout my life!
She recently gave up with first the gum which she would have in her mouth possibly 12 hours a day and then with the lozenges which she has in her mouth unless she is eating or sleeping-she says that her body simply CANNOT do without nicoteen but rationalises it by saying that at least she doesnt have the other 4000 chemicals to deal with-perhaps she is right-its how I have stopped-maybe,mummylonglegs,this could be your substitute,your treat,as it were-Old Alan will shoot you down in flames and so will hub2dee(I'm sorry,I mistook you for the actor bloke who posted his piccie looking like something out of Dallas-maybe that is still you!)but at least you could have a crutch-I know you enjoy the whole experience of smoking-when,how,what with but you are an incredibly intelligent woman who MUST know that you could be halving your lifetime and in doing so damaging your dds life forever-you love her too much to do that,don't you?
Please stop that for her sake-I dont mean to lay a guilt trip on you but FFS give it a go and stop kidding yourself that you need fags to survive-you really don't!

hub2dee · 29/04/2005 07:12

Had people for dinner last night and am out most of today so can't post anything. Will reply later. Thanks mml for your input. One specific point - trouble 'starting' to stop.... it can begin anytime, and that time is up to you and perhaps we can plan a timetable for a few days which makes this easier ?

mummylonglegs · 29/04/2005 09:40

I haven't smoked so far today. I'd normally have had 2 by now. I'm feeling fidgety though ...

Thanks for your words, drop. I'm taking it all in.

mummylonglegs · 29/04/2005 11:06

Oh balls. Scrub that. Dp gave dd icecream for breakfast when she wouldn't eat anything else , indulgent sod. So I got mad. Had a fag. That's how it is, I know, any stupid little thing. Any stupid little excuse I should really say.

charliecat · 29/04/2005 18:09

this was a while ago...
this too...
and this...
just saying been there done that.

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evansmummy · 29/04/2005 22:33

Sorry, i've been away. Too long, cos a lot has been said, and i've not the time to read it all. I've been smoking since 14, which makes 13 years. Tried to stop properly twice, once with patches, and once with Zyban. Both times a complete failure due to lack of real motivation and willpower the size of a pea. I stopped cos I thought I should not cos I wanted to. For the last 5 years have been smoking 'rollies' between 10 and 15 a day. Properly quit last May, 6 weeks into my 1st pregnancy. Am now on the slippery slop to starting again. Managed to persuade dh to buy a pack of 10 tonight when we went for a beer in the evening sun. There's too many associations. I need a quick fix solution - does it exist? I don't think it does.

hub2dee, out of curiosity, what's your french connection?

Anyone, is that whats-his-name Carr book any good?

hub2dee · 29/04/2005 22:59

OK, back from family dinner but now to bed. Will get back to you MML. I think you were very brave by trying this AM, and any reduction is good. Will write more tomorrow.

evansmummy - not very impressed at your persuasive tactics. I'm sure they should be put to better use: spa / massages / holidays / stuff done in the house etc. etc. Again, maybe we can type tomorrow. I'd highly recommend you read some of the posts on this thread about the 'only 1' / 'little slip'... please don't go there. I know the things are expensive, but I'd get rid of them sharpish as you're only fooling yourself. Re: French connection - seem to remember reading your dh is French. My mum's French, dad's English, I'm more or less bilingual (although written is terrible !).

Night.

dropinthe · 29/04/2005 23:02

Alan Carr-old wise wizard of fags! OMg am really pissed on the vino tonight-cant type properly so have nothing constructibe to say as cant type properly!

charliecat · 30/04/2005 09:32

Had a really stressful week and dp came in and i kissed him and he must have just had a fag as it was like smoking a fag. Must have set off my nicotine monster as had to drown my sorrows in a beer.....muchly pleased later when absoultly knackered dp had to go downstairs and stand out in the cold to feed his demon.
Dont know why im here...should be finishing diy...sofa arriving wednesday..wanna see it? its here cant wait!

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charliecat · 30/04/2005 09:36

P.S the downside is its too big for the front room and ill be paying for it for the next 4 years...lol

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dropinthe · 30/04/2005 11:29

Sexy sofa!

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