Jem, thanks for introducing me to this thread. I've been lurking and thought I recognised you as my Geordie pal but didn't know if you wanted to be recognised IYKWIM. Oh, I'm Brassic, btw. I fancied a new identity as well after all the revealing I did on here a couple of years ago.
Hi to everyone else in recovery here. I'm not an AA member but did go for a while, although not since I've stayed sober.
Fairy, is the Flood St. meeting also called 'Sunday Best'. If so, I used to go to that one. I found it a bit frightening, there are hundreds of people there [shakes]. I also used to go to the women only meet one night in the week. It might have been Thursday, can't remember now.
I've had a look in on the other thread that's been mentioned here. A lot of the posts remind me of how I felt when I first asked for support on here. I was desperate to find a way to control alcohol and couldn't bear the thought of giving it up, even though my life was hell and the gaps between intoxication, being passed out and hiding in bed with the covers over my head were disappearing. I don't think that's what's happening with the posters on the other thread so I doubt if I could say anything useful. Besides, I had to learn the truth through trial and error. I had to know with 100% certainty, deep down in my heart that I was an alcoholic, and it took as long as it took. Nothing worked until I started to see alcohol as lethal poison that was ruining my life. I still think of it like that now, rather than something that would enhance a good night, comfort me when I'm sad, liven life up when I'm bored, calm me down when I'm stressed etc etc. God, the scenarios where alcohol was a necessity were endless.
It's nice to be here, sober and happy.
I keep thinking of the beginning of each AA meeting where we are silent and think of the still suffering alcoholic. Is talking about my addiction and offering to be there for those that are still suffering enough? I often wonder about that.