Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??

[no1andno2]

Anyone ? I need some help and fast..........

Happy birthday lulu!

Well, I stuck to soft drinks last night but twas hard. And found it hard to get to sleep again but not as hard as night before...

Thanks Bella - just re-read my previous post (and apart from the obvious typos) may have sounded a bit harsh - think I should say well done to everyone (me included) who are managing to stay away from the wine/etc during the week and just weekend drinking is such an achievement - keep it up x

I agree that just weekend drinking is a massive achievement - in my experience, it's far, far harder and more painful than abstaining totally. Good luck to everyone for this weekend.

I definitely feel LESS weird this morning. It's making me think that I should NOT treat myself tonight, but continue to stay off it.

Happy Birthday lulu!

Drinking and driving is indeed crazy - but my point was more that, once you start counting units and trying to guess how much alcohol you've processed, even the next morning can be a drink driving situation, and all the more dangerous because you've lulled yourself into a false sense of security.

The other problem is, if you planning to drive tomorrow on the basis that you'll count your units and then can't control your drinking - which, let's be honest, most people on this thread are saying they can't - do you still drive as planned, even though you know you probably shouldn't? My experience is that for most people the answer is "yes".

One unit a hour and a seven o'clock start? Do more than a bottle of wine the night before and you're probably putting yourself at risk.

Silly, silly advice for anyone who doesn't possess an iron will around alcohol ...

Man thats the sort of judgemental post that would see me never go to AA if my life depended on it..........

DH and I did share a bottle of wine last night and I feel pretty ropey this am which is unheard of for me. I can usually sink well over a bottle without noticing at all !!

We hade a nice meal together and drank the wine at the table with our meal rather than wondering around the house glass in one hand on my own which is me of old.

Do I wish I hadnt this am ? Yes because I didnt enjoy it that much and this morning I am reminded of the way I used to feel which i dont like !!

Can I add a message?

I've read what Man wrote, and it doesn't look judgemental at all.

From what I can see, he is coming from the angle of a recovering alcoholic who recognises his own patterns of thoughts and behaviours in your posts.

Now I can understand why you may feel defensive, but it doesn't come across as judgemental, and I don't think what he says is anything to do with AA either, not that I'm an expert.

Anyway we all have to work it out in our own time. Lovely supportive posts on this thread.

I don't see MIFLAM's posts as judgemental at all, either.

In fact, I've been following this thread myself, as I have struggled with alcohol dependency myself.

And I think you're kidding yourself, no.1&2. I really do.

'Anyone go teetotal . . . '

That means no drinking. At all.

Not counting units to see if you can drive or 'saving' up units so you can binge, or 'I only had half a bottle so that's not so bad' or any of that.

Obsessing about it like that, it's already a problem. A big one, IME.

K. Let's look at it this way. I've just run this by DH, who is teetotal. He just doesn't like alcohol.

But he's a smoker.

He read this thread and said, 'As long as I'm still smoking, then I'm a smoker. It doesn't matter if I cut back or only smoke at the weekends or share one. If I smoke, I'm a smoker.'

gosh expat you could be a bit more positive and encouraging.........

Reality bites, no1&2.

You started out saying you needed help.

And you need help, not booze, IMO.

There's no such thing as having your cake and eating it, too, unfortunately.

Sure, it is possible for some people who were once heavy drinkers or who struggled with dependency to go back to where they can enjoy alcohol and take it or leave it.

BUT, IME at least, that doesn't happen whilst they are continuing to drink.

I know that's not what you want to hear, so it's shot down as unsupportive or negative or not encouraging, or by getting defensive.

But that doesn't mean such posts should be entirely discounted, because usually, they come from someone who's been there and was the worse for it, MIFLAW and myself included.

Best of luck to you.

expat...............you are not a school teacher by any chance ??

Yep reality does bite but Rome wasnt built in a day either...........It will be a long haul for me I know because at the same time as tackling this I still have to work 60 hour weeks , be a mum and all the other pulls on my life.

I can't dive under the duvet and absent myself from life whilst I get better.

Today I had a 7am meeting. Now I have one at 11am, 12 noon, 2.30 , 4pm and and all evening meeting at 7pm.

Pretty knackering stuff. I have mad huge progress in 3 weeks and I am very proud of myself. Today I detest that horrible taste in my mouth that had by and large disappeared.

I am taking one day at a time.

No, no I'm not a schoolteacher.

I am, however, an alcoholic.

Like I said, best of luck to you!

so do you not drink at all now and for how long ???

I think you've done very well, No1&2. There is nothing wrong with sharing a bottle of wine with food. If you do it less and less often and feel you have a choice, then you are doing ok.

I don't think that it is really about the alcohol anyway. The behaviour is the symptom of something else. Dependency is serious. If dependency is not an issue, I think it is important to work on the psychological things that lead to the behaviour.

I had a friend who died of alcohol who could not get help while she was drunk. It was a horrible death.

I find counting(?) units very dull, but I am not missing wine if it's not there. Each to their own.

Can I just say I think it'll be a shame if this thread kicks off and individuals start to feel judged as thus far it has been really positive and provided support for a lot of people who admit they drink more than they'd like to.

Yes, it's a public forum and anyone is free to comment as they wish (and expat I have admired your honesty on other threads) but whatever people's personal opinions are on others drinking habitats (and MIFLAW has made his pretty clear on the other thread), this thread has been useful in helping us achieve our goal of cutting down our alcohol intake.

Maybe I'm living in cloud cuckoo / fluffy kittens land, but I think that's a good thing. And it's a free world and we are allowed to make our own choices about what we feel is appropriate for us right now (assuming we're not risking anyone else's health by e.g. drink driving, which I don't really think is the case).

Maybe you'll accusing me of being wildly in denial (and maybe I am). And I can see the AA crowd think they're trying to help. But I'm not sure this is effective way to do that.

I totally agree.
This thread has kept me within my 14 units and thats excellent considering what I was drinking.
I am proud of myself and all of you who have been honest and are cutting down, giving up or just understanding why they drinking.
Everyone has to start somewhere!!

I think everyone needs to find their level. There is nothing wrong with enjoying alcohol. It seems that what happens is that people here are not enjoying it as much as before and are using it for other reasons, and some are wondering if there is anything to enjoy at all.

I found with smoking that you have to smoke an awful lot of fags to get one that you enjoy. I don't get that with alcohol.

My relationship with booze is pretty crap, but it is a bad idea to stand in judgement.

I don't think I've made my view on other people's drinking habits anywhere.

I don't have a view on other people's drinking habits. Just on mine. I don't drink because i'm an alcoholic. My partner does drink, sometimes to excess, because she isn't.

However, on a thread called "Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??" - which describes my situation exactly - and which begins, "I need help - fast", I do not feel it is out of place to offer constructive advice based on my personal experience.

If you are cutting down your alcohol intake and it stays down and that makes you happier, bully for you. Seriously. I think that's fantastic. We should all live healthier lives and that's a big step towards doing so.

However, many of the people posting here clearly have all sorts of problems doing exactly that. "I'm going to stop." "Actually, I'll cut down." "Well, I drank last night, but xyz, so now I'll cut down even more." "Did I say cut down? I meant I'd cut down on spirits. At the weekend. In pubs." That is not cutting down. That is - quite literally - a problem with drink. And I have seen lots of people, many who never even knew they had a problem ,ruin their whole lives in that way.

Again, you are completely free to make your own choices in this free world. But have you stopped to consider that, for some of the people posting on here, it is NOT a choice whether to drink or not, but a need or craving? Do you not think that, by acting as spokesperson for everyone on here, you are smoothing over some major distinctions which could have far-reaching effects?

I'll say again, I haven't expressed an opinion on anyone's drinking except my own, on this or the other thread. I've said that some people remind me of me - and they do. I've taken 1&2 at face value - she started this thread begging for help because she was unable to stop. I think it is a fundamentally friendly act to remind her of that before she starts a big night.

I sincerely apologise if anyone on here feels I have judged them or their drinking. It was not intentional.

FWIW I am not a schoolteacher (though I did train as one while drinking, which I can promise you was horrendous.) I have always worked full working days. If anything, my working life has become more stressful since I stopped drinking, because I am more able to take on challenges and have started a new, harder career. In retrospect I see that, not only did my drinking not cure the stress of work, it added to it - did I still smell of drink from yesterday? Why was I always running late? Why won't this hangover go away until after this deadline? My boss is looking at me - is he going to ask me about my drinking? Why don't my wages go as far as everyone else's? Please don't let me get drunk at this company function - oops!

My life is an oasis of calm in comparison these days.

Specific apology to 1&2.

If I had known that you or any of the early posters were after advice on how to cut down from 21 units to 14 I would have stayed well away from the whole thread, not because I am judgemental, but because that's something I know nothing about.

I decided to remind you of your own words because when you posted at first you sounded desperate and you wanted to stop drinking, and that's something I can relate to and know a lot about - and I learnt it all BEFORE AA, from living it. AA has given me a solution, but I found out about the problem all on my little ownsome.

My mistake. I am sorry.

I think this thread has taken a really interesting turn. I am categorically not looking to stop drinking completely - I am hoping that by taking some action now to get my drinking under control that I will avoid the day coming (which I think it might well have done) when I realise that cutting down is no longer an option.

But MIFLAW's posts have rung a bell for me - I've only been alcohol-free for 2 days but even in that short time I've heard a little "addict" voice in my head a couple of times, justifying why it would, in fact, be perfectly fine for me to drink alcohol. I recognise this voice from my (failed) attempts to quit smoking. I have managed to ignore it and I'm proud of that BUT the fact that it's there at all is worrying.

I suppose we are all at different stages with alcohol dependency ishooos and I hope there'll continue to be room for all of us on this thread. I am finding it so helpful, even if I'm not posting that much.

I too am caterorically not looking to give up drinking.
But I do NOT and I WILL NOT slip back into my old ways and if that means I need to get some reassurance and support every now and then to keep this from happening..so be it.
What I realise is, is over this pass year I have broken a habit...not only drinking, but I have cut down on fags 20fags to 5-6 fags(these will go next...but it's baby steps for me)..stepped up exercise..eating healthy. It was a lifestyle change of becoming a person who enjoys things in moderation. I really am as well....I'm content and guilt free. I look forward to a glass of wine when I know it's FRiday or whenever, but I know I no longer crave it, use it as a crux or drink out of habit.
For some this doesn't suit...for me it does.
I have dealt with a lot of things this pass year and my life is far less stressed...but not just because of the drinking....the whole attitude change.

have good weekends everyone now if I dont post over the weekend - which I doubt I will - my dcs father yet again managed to piss me off with his selfish attitude and normally I would head to the wine shelf on my way home but tonight I resolve not to do that - wish me luck again bye x

I really, honestly do think it's great if you want to cut down and you manage that and that makes you feel happy.

As I say, I came onto this thread because some posters appeared to be talking about a very different situation indeed - one where cutting down is the worst of both worlds, an unattainable dream, a situation where drinking has started to frighten you, but the thought of stopping frightens you even more and you can only see the blackest of outcomes to the whole sorry game.

Again, apologies if I've offended anyone belonging to the first group.

I really only meant to talk to the second group.

Good luck Lulu!