Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??

[no1andno2]

Anyone ? I need some help and fast..........

i feel schizophrenic.
i know alcohol is poison to me. i know i should never touch the stuff again. i know exactly what is can do, dad was a hopeless alcoholic. i know living with someone with a alcohol problem is hell.
so why do i still drink??
it's like somone else is in control almost, it's like i go into autopilot and just find myself buying this vile stuff
i need to stop forever
i have been to my doc and got referred to a counsellor but that was months ago now. i didnt go back, deluded i thought i could sort this myself, which i dont think i can
anyway hullo
sorry for the sad tone

my DH - gave it up last September after a spectacularly embarrassing works night out, hasn't touched a drop since. He started small - he was going to stop for a month, then after a month it was another month, then until Christmas, then until New Year, then he was going for the 6 months, now it is until his birthday in May, and then it might well go for the whole year.

It was hard to start - he had been having all but one glass (mine) of a bottle of wine every night for ages and he kept wanting one, but he was so disgusted with himself (and his 2 day hangover) that it kept him strong until the want started to go away. I have neither pushed nor teased him about it - it is his choice entirely and I am happy for him to decide to continue being teetotal, or to start having the occasional drink again. What neither of us want is for him to go back to the level of consumption he was at before he stopped.

He stopped smoking a few years ago too - he just decided it was a disgusting habit that he no longer wanted to be in thrall to.

Nil

I completely understand what you mean and am sorry it's got you too.

Have you tried AA? It works for me and may work for you too.

If you are in two minds, ask yourself - what have you got to lose?

Good luck whatever you decide.

I haven't read the whole thread, but EPIS; Alan Carr did die of lung cancer, but it was a result of all the years that he smoked heavily. I don't think he was shy about it. I don't think it undermines his stuff.

I think that if you tell yourself that you will abstain for ever, you put yourself under pressure. I like to know that I have chocolate in a form that I find delicious (wispa, ripple or finger of fudges, no Green and Blacks rubbish) somewhere (hidden) in the house and so I know that if I really do want it, it is there. Or it is like someone on a strict diet eating one bun, feeling guilty and comfort eating loads more.

I know a few people who only ever drink (a single drink) on Christmas Day. I'm not sure why I needed to share that last bit. Said people seem to have need to share it.

Alcoholism is in my family and I was on that track. Stopped cold turkey, took a supplement called KUDZU (can buy at the healthfood store) that has been shown to curb alcohol cravings and it helped. I tried to stop before but 'just one' always led to 4-5. Now that I am out of the habit I don't even think about it. It has been nearly a year. Life is much better and I am much happier.

Hello

I am just wondering if this thread is still active... would like to post for the first time in my life!

Wolf take a look at the 'Brave Babes' thread in relationships - some not drinking, some controlling, some trying and trying again so lots of support, no judging, advice and a warm welcome. Hope that helps.

JWIM

How kind of you.. I would not know where to start really. I have had one of those incredible lives, and at the age of 55, I am leaving the home that I share with my 22 year-old son whom I have raised since he was 6 as a solitary adult (as opposed to single parent - the father only calls twice a year) - with no family at all to help me (as both younger siblings were unmarried and hotshot yuppees); this I did after a 15 year international life with a cruel, abusive meglamaniac 16 years ago. I had made over 20 homes for him across US and Europe trailing after him as he climbed his corporate ladder, and I walked out with nothing except my passport, my car keys and my son's hand while we were in Germany, because we were not married and I had no 'rights'. He then reduced me to the bone down to a few hundred pounds a month for 7 years in rage and punishment, until finally, in 2003, after umpteen more moves with a small child - his secretary convinced him our son needed a safe home, and I got 10% as a down payment for a small house near to the latest school our boy had to attend in England. I was 46 with no credit history in the UK, and absolutely no money. I got a Self-Cert mortgage on my own (in the days you could before the 2007 crash), and my life has been devoted to raising our beautiful son who has become everything I could have ever hoped for. A son who told me at the age of about 11.."Mummy, I don't know why you try to figure him out - he's a psychopath.."

I have never in this time found another relationshiop because I felt I had to give our son the best I could, and show absolute strength. My crutch was wine...Because the father is European and much older than me, I was introduced to drinking it every night as the norm. Through the endless phenomenal stress of these last 30 years, I knew that having a bottle every other 1-2 days was all right. I did the school run 4 times a day every day for 13 years, and I never left my boy's side. I never drank socially to any great extent because it didn't really interest me. Anyway, drinking at home allowed me to 'analyse' everything, and prepare my defence if attacked by the father from abroad. As time went on, any blip in life would be the reason to have a bottle in the evening, thinking I was being sophisticated. And yes - I have been without it for 4 weeks at a time, but I when I drank it again, it was a whole bottle if not more, and with the speed of lightening.

Reading this wonderful and phenomenally honest thread, I am putting here on paper that I know I have a problem. I am on my first holiday alone in 30 years in Italy in a sc apartment. I have so much I want to do in my life now that this incredible chapter of my life is over, (what now? I'll have a glass and plan the rest of my life.. Oh! Have I really drunk the bottle so quickly??!! I'll just start another. I must check in my diary to see if I have anything important to do tomorrow - I'll cancel if necessary). Thank God nobody can see me." I drink around 1.5 bottles every 3 days average but it can be more if there is a drama. Everything that people have written here I have felt .. naueauting shame, degrading embarrassment, vile, repulsive (particularly in front of the one person I love the most, my son - who does not touch the stuff!). I am at the age when I am really concerned for myself, although I healthy, I am exhausted aftger the 30 years, but why this self-destructive behaviour? Yes - dire loneliness, am I past it?, will I ever fulfil my dreams? .. etc.

I could not cut down.. I am an all or nothing person too. Interestingly, I am not addicted to tobacco. I can smoke a fag after 20 years, and never do it again. I feel a fraud because I meditate with yoga, and some of my greatest insights come when I have downed a bottle...and I look as if I don't touch the stuff. I also write, and every writer will say that the grape produces great prose. But with me, you just would 'never know'. I am frightened to be on my own, and have to find a way to give up when I move to Italy permanently this Spring.

I am sorry this has been so long, and I would so welcome encouragement from the other posters. Wine has been my weakness for 30 years (and, it has to be said - I could not have achieved what I did without it - I would have been in a psychiatric unit). But I am terrified and want to stop. I have never done anything like this in my life - asked on a public forum for your help. Thank you with all my heart.

Wolf, well done for posting.

I drank very heavily, and went teetotal - not exactly by choice, at the time, but because I got so ill (and ended up taking drugs as well). I was 25 at the time, I am now 51.

I did it in the first instance by going into a 12-step treatment centre, then by attending AA (and NA) meetings. If you haven't considered AA, I would go to a meeting - or just call their helpline. Not all the members will have the same story as you, but I can guarantee that lots will have had very, very similar lives...and will understand.

I'm sure there are other ways, but my own experience is a very successful one - and a happy one, too. There's nothing better than not feeling alone

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best

Wolf good to see you on the Brave Babes thread. I mostly lurk as often can't respond in 'real time' but have found it both supportive and informative in my own need for sobriety. It's also often funny and chatty and uplifting. I hope it helps as you start this part of your life - so today I will not be drinking - how about you? I make this decision each day so I am just not drinking one day at a time (ODAAT).

Hello all, i've been there, i understand all the comments above and empathise 100% some people have put really useful replies and id like to add to that for what works for me personally as i truly understand the pitfalls and dips and triggers. having been on the journey a long time and so would like to descrbie what i've truly found to work.
be aware in advance of your weak times, for me it was 4pm 6pm and 8pm for some reason. planning and committing 100% to something around this helps in the initial stage but also bare in mind that even though you may not have a sweet tooth there is a LOT of sugar in alcohol so abstaining from booze will be helped in the early stages by replacing this by something else to give that same kick into you. of course health wise its not ideal to replace sugar with sugar, but hey we're not talking a clean eating plan here of perfectness we're talking removing booze and doing what it takes to break the early sobriety battle. i dont like sweet drinks but heard about this tip and applied it. strangely (and judge it if you wish but dont rant at me about it, it works!) i switched to having 2lt bottles of tango in the fridge. if i starting guzzling that down from about midday then the cravings for booze were hugely curbed and manageable. yes of course after when feels right, few weeks perhaps, you can then work on reducing that and removing it eventually but baby steps! i wouldnt let anyone pull you down about do's and donts, just think about the facts, what does alcohol give your body and mind? now look to replace each aspect of this gradually. i also found (for headspace wise) learning mindfulness and meditating and going to tai chi extremely helpful too. strange mixture of stuff i know, tango and tai chi. lol. oh and sweat it out, boost your sweat-out so it doesnt stay with you as long. ie, get out on a long fast hike and rant at the hills/fields, verbal offloading whilst you're raising your pulse and zinging up your muscles for a couple of hours will hugely release all the right stuff and give you that same high if not higher! please believe me. i feel an expert with this battle. you have no idea! also (and i wont say finally coz there's so much to the journey) i bought some triple strength rescue remedy, i think its called AA+Rescue Remedy. these are little tiny pearl like sweets, you cant max out on them but just suck one gently several times a day, you will truly be amazed with the benefit and how it gets you through the blip moments. hope all this has helped someone and apologies for the waffling on. its just i know too well all the consuming factors of battling booze and simply feel obliged to share fixes that are useful. xxx