Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??

[no1andno2]

Anyone ? I need some help and fast..........

is anyone about ? Just had a difficult conversation with my dcs father and I am already picturing myself with a bottle of wine tonight - someone please give me a good reason or 100 good reasons why I should not get one on the way home. Why do I react like this everytime things are difficult between us - how can I change the way I react ie. reaching for the bottle I know it will make me feel worse - I guess we all know the reason I dont want to hvae these unfortcomrtable feelings I want them obliterated

mrsblanc I think you are feeling the withdrawal symptoms as "hangover" feelings. This isn't uncommon. I had them too, but not for long, iirc.
Boring advice but if you take a multivitamin daily it could help reduce the problems.

lulu - hope you are still about. You know the hundred good reasons why you shouldn't. We all do.

• liver damage
• high blood pressure
• weight gain
• depression
• loss of libido
• loss of self esteem
• dependency
• guilt

do I have to go on to 100?

But yet we still do it. So it is not 100 reasons that we need. It is resolve, determination, support from a good friend, someone to call, distraction for our hands, distraction for our minds.

So choose to buy a bottle, or even 2 bottles of apple juice, or tonic, or whatever you can bear to drink that is not alcoholic. Drink it this evening and celebrate your will power. Enjoy the cool fizzy lime juice (or what ever). Feel good tonight and feel great and proud tomorrow.

I think you can do it.

lulu41.

I know how you feel but dont. It wont solve anything at all.

And you will feel awful tomorrow.

I had a difficult time with DH last night and could easily have opened the wine. Resisted but it was hard.

I still cried even though I was sober. have a good blub and then pick yourself off up the floor and dust yourself down.

We women are survivors. If you feel the urge to drink get into bed with one of the DC's and give them a cuddle until you fall asleep. Bliss!

I am out later but will check in at 10 ish when I get back.

lulu reread what you wrote.
You KNOW this but I am going to tell you anyway

if you reach for the wine, you will feel great. For a very short time.
Then you will feel dreadful.
For a much longer time

Don't do it lovely x

Don't give your ex the power to screw your resolve

lulu - sorry, I missed your post as mine was taking an inordinately long time to go through.

I had a choice once - my fiance left me and I fell into an abyss of shock and depression - I had a conscious choice: should I drown my sorrows? or should I not?
It would have been so easy to work through the 50 odd bottles of wine we had in the "cellar" [ha!] but I couldn't face the hangover on top of the grief.
So I didn't drink - I stayed right off it for over 4months (as it happens I survived on hot milk with 4 coffee grains and a spoonful of sugar, plus a banana for the first 4 weeks - I even went off chocolate! - and lost 1.5 st in 4 weeks. Dangerous.)

I am not trying to say "how great am I" - but I was faced with a very stark choice (in my head) - drink now to obliterate it, and have to face it some time later, plus having a hangover; or don't drink now and work through the pain quicker. It made sense to me, perhaps it will help you.

Lulu, please don't. Be strong, do as the others suggest and buy appletiser or grape juice or something else. Then tomorrow you will feel healthy and proud and strong, not sick, headachy, depressed and angry with yourself. I think you can do it too.

I think it can be ok to drown your sorrows sometimes, but NOT if you are threatening to engage in an intimate relationship with alcohol.

If you're feeling bad now, you won't feel any better when you're pissed, and when will you stop beating yourself up? The remorse is so awful. It's just not worth drinking when you're down to feel worse when you sober up.

lulu

Great support on here - hope you've seen it.

And you know what too.... if you did stop on the way home and get that bottle of wine, then we all understand. We've all been there too, and we'll all be around for you tomorrow.

(still hoping though...)

Hi Everyone,

Have been lurking on this thread for a while, always very shy of jumping in ... BUT I hope I can give some support. I don't drink at all anymore, but I remember so well that inability to control the desire to open that bottle, the relief it gives and the spiral you get into that just makes you feel worse and worse.

For what it's worth, I'd like to just say a word about AA. I so fervently didn't want to go near it - in my eyes I was a binger or heavy drinker, not a full-blown alkie - but it has turned my life around. It's not full of old men in raincoats, it's not a cult and there are no rules - it's just a bunch of people who feel the same way about that bottle of whatever. I have made some wonderful friends there, people who understand the mentality that goes with addictive behaviour. And they're fun, cool people - alcoholics tend to be! I know it's not for everyone but for me it works, and it's not hard. I very rarely think about drinking and it's actually easier to stop altogether than to torture yourself with cutting down. I no longer spend my evenings thinking 'Should I, shouldn't I? How much is too much? Will I be able to stop at two glasses?' etc. Much harder to do this on your own, although it's fantastic that you're giving each other support here - a group in itself, surely?

God, sorry, I sound like I'm preaching. I'm really not. This is my experience and I just want to offer it in case it's the smallest bit of help to any of you.

BladeBla

Is THIS not essentially a group, then?

It seems to be working for you.

Do you perceive AA to be different from this thread?

FTE

Where are you from? Don't suppose I'd know you, would I?

Am in South East London, used to be in East London, before that, East and West Kent.

lulu41 Im back..........are you ok ?

thanks for all your messages last night but i had left work by then and generally only get to come onto MN at work - home a bit difficult - I did succumb and got the wine on the way home and yes I did drink the whole bottle and yes today I feel like a fat ugly piece of shi. but hey I knew I would. I have been taking ADs for a few months now not sure why as I am sure the wine counteracts them but have made an appointment to see my GP next week to talk about some sort of counselling - CBT perhaps seems to be the thing everyone is talking about. Glad to hear that some of you are doing so well - I cant go on like this I feel like an alcoholic perhaps not a sterotypical alcoholic but whats that these days anyway think there are way more "functioning alcoholics" in the world than the other kind - god I'm cheery today arent I sorry guys

CBT is fab. i had it years ago and it cured my depression . I still get low and morose form time to time but not suicidal like I used to be.

On Amazon they sell CBT for dummies..........by it it also comes with a workbook as well.

Today is another day lulu. We are here for you.

Im now heading up to 2 weeks without a drink and I have even amazed myself.

Its a nice feeing though the cravings are still very much there

thanks No1&2 - you are doing so well - thanks for the advice re CBT too hope I can get some - my behaviour is so destructive or maybe I just use it as an excuse to drink either way I am making myself very unhappy

Well Lulu it is tough but you have to start at the beginning and set yourself small goals and then bigger ones and keep going, one foot after another, not easy but manageable is small bitesize chunks.

Great idea going to the gp for help, well done you for facing up to it .

CBT is fab and well worth it, hopefully you can get it on NHS.

Good luck and keep going

They try to advise against drinking on anti ds just because, as you say, alcohol counteracts the effects of the antidepressants, apparently. I have not found this, and have spent many years with fewer hangovers and the accociated guilt. Obviously not drinking enough

The NHS loves CBT because it is defined, short, and therefore relatively cheap. It really is worth asking what other kinds of therapy is available.
This is the Drinkulator which may help you assess how much you are actually drinking.

Also it is worth remembering that a binge is a binge, and you can as well binge on a dry biscuit as you can on a bottle of vodka, although it's harder to see why anyone would want to deny themselves a dry biscuit.

If you are using booze as a stick to beat yourself up with, it is important to learn not to before you become dependent.

This is pretty rich coming from me.... I am learning.

The problem with CBT - or any other therapy - is that it only really works if one can be honest about everything. This is one thing that most problem drinkers cannot be, if only about the drinking itself - they refuse to acknowledge it as a problem in itself, they downplay quantities and consequences, they make excuses ... And, surprise surprise, you can't solve a problem that isn't acknowledged, and they leave CBT at the end of the course with one of the biggest drivers of their misery still firmly in place. This has just happened to my boss and the rooms of AA are full of people who say, "I went to my doctor/counsellor/whatever and it was a total waste of time because I wasn't honest."

When the drinking gets fixed, you have a fighting chance with the depression, but it doesn't work back to front. For this reason, counselling is rarely an alternative to AA, though done together they are dynamite.

A "functioning alcoholic" is a bit of a misnomer - it really just means a drunk who's managed not to get sacked or thrown out of the house.

Yet.

I would like to join as well...just to keep on track if thats ok.
I have always liked a drink, but after my DD was born 2 and half yrs ago I was really sinking it. A bottle a night of red wine...always red wine.
I knew it was too much and I knew I needed to change my lifestyle.
I was happy..great hubby...two lovely kids but only 13mths apart and those early years one at 1year and 1 at 2years was hell!! No job, so no social life. I was so envious of my hubby driving of to work, everytime I heard the car pull up at 6pm I couldn't wait to take the edge of the day with a glass of red. I never got really drunk and I always went to bed with a cup of tea and water. No hangovers...but always felt bit out of control and stressed.
Went to the doctors(last march) as I started getting palpitations and really anxious about health and stuff. So she took so bloods. When they came back, they said my liver tests were bit abnormal..I completly freaked out and told her what I was drinking and was I going to die??? She said no..just cut down and take some days off and take some time off LIFE for me. When I think back to that year..going for a poo in peace was my only time out...even then I would end up with a screaming child on my lap at times!!!
Let me tell you something ladies..I shit myself..my whole life of partying..rebelling flashed before me...I gave myself complete health anxiety.
I cut down on booze..took 4 days off a week and started running,going for a meal and a water with mates, eating well...anything that may cleanse liver or keep me away from the house between 6 and 7pm...a year on...I still struggle a bit with that time of day...I guess it takes a while to completly break the habit!!
Went back for retest and she said enzemes still bit raised, gave me some vit B and said keep at it!!
So I have..I often have a week off and had 3 weeks off over Xmas. I don't drink over 14units per week. Had occasional slip up..not complete goody two shoes..but nothing like before!
I'm not sure what the point of this post is...
just to let you know that I had my hand forced a bit with the giving up/cutting down I guess, but I think I must have needed that nudge and thats why I went to the doctors.
I never went back for another retest as sadly the health anxiety is still there, better but still there. I have been to the doctors( Which is an acheivement in itself as I have a complete anxiety attack before I go there even if just for the kids) since with kids and a chest infection and nothing was mention so I'm hoping I'm not a deaths door..I do feel alot better.But I do know I will always have an issue with booze and I have to keep a real tab on what I drink. I write a diary. Or if I feel the urge more than I should..I water it down..disgusting I know but I always drink really fast when I feel I nEEd it. Generally I know me well enough now so not to have a drink when I feel that way as I feel so pissed off the next day I end up with anxiety...which leads me onto the health anxiety!
So, I may keep on this thread to keep myself on the right road if thats ok.

I was/ am in the same boat. I am an all or nothing girl and after one glass I cant seem to stop!

I made the decision to stop drinking too and started to eat healthier too (GL diet patrick Holford )and I am amazed at how much better I FEEL. My head is clearer, getting up in the morning is easier, skin is clearer and according to DH I am a much nicer person.

I have the odd bottle of wine at the weekend though but asa I have one glass I can feel the ugly I want more monster raise its head so far I have been strong enough to resist it but start to think maybe I just should give up on alcohol altogether 9small lie went out with a friend and had too much and really regretted it!). Once an addict always an addict and why tempt myself to fall back into the old regime?

Well done to you all for trying to do something about it!(raises cup of fennel tea )

gosh its amazing how many of us are in this boat. I am going to start the GI diet as well and sign up at the gym. I need to put something else in my life and feel better about myself too.

keep posting everyone. The support here is amazing

I don't run very far. But with some good tunes on my ipod I turn into Forest Gump!!I feel so elated when I get back..even when I have really persueded myself to go intial.I try and go straight after kids bath...right at crucial..mmm glass of red time!I've got little goal..race for life in June. It all helps.
I've been back to work full time since last January..thats when palpitations started..new childcare etc.
But it has helped me.
Spare money..not being a mummy or a wife for 6 hours a day. Being a good happy...i can cope with my kids mummy and wife inbetween. The children are far less demanding these days..no nappies and rest of the crap that has come with on trip to nursery etc. Although I did pull over in a lay by this morning and tell them they could walk if they didn't stop fighting.....nothing to do with drink..hangover stress....Haven't had a drop for 4 days and as I said before not much anyway nowadys. So just normal...mumy stress. I do wondered sometimes if I would have coped better before without the drink?
For me..I just didn't want to go teetotal, which is why I HAVE to take control of it. After the liver test..I can 110% say I will never let this slip. My babies need me!
I am routing for you all to do whats best for you. It's taking me a year to get my head in the right place.

Think I've had a glass or two out of habit more than anything else. Had a glass last night and it tasted disgusting so drank fizzy water he rest of the evening which tasted better...

How odd

Sometimes it's like that. Sometimes wine is just horrible. I don't like drinking alone. It is very boring having a drunken conversation with myself. I was just thinking how odd it is to go from drinking a lot, to drinking less, to wondering if it is worth it at all?

I have to have a LFT every now and again because of the drugs I take, but I haven't had any feedback from it.

I think it is SO important to have other things to do that you can't do with a drink or any kind of a hangover. I used to work outside, and frankly I could have done it with my head chopped off. Maybe that's a reason I stopped.