Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??

[no1andno2]

Anyone ? I need some help and fast..........

Hey there No1andNo2 where are you - how are you?

Bladebla how you doing?

I am OK managed my first saturdy without booze for a long long time - am doing way better than I was booze wise - only drank once last weekk which is a mega improvement for me- I am feeling a little more positive.

Came back guys would love to know how you are all doing

Hi gladragsruby, glad to know that what people have written has helped - are you also trying to cut down how much you drink? or do you have someone in your your family who is drinking too much?

I have a pretty varied time - overall, I am definitely drinking less, and I am much more conscious of how I feel about alcohol. Sometimes that doesn't feel to good - because I am trying to break a habit I have to make a conscious decision - so it can occasionally feel that I think about drinking even on days when I have nothing to drink. Not sure if that makes sense, but I guess I will have broken the habit when I can have several evenings in a row without any alcohol, and also without having to think about the fact that I am not going to have a drink.

I also find that I 'reward' myself for going several days without drinking. But that leads to big risk of binge drinking.

Overall, doing better, and much more conscious of how rough I feel if I have had a lot to drink.

How's everyone else doing?

Hi beinghonest I feel a bit like you at the moment I am drinking way less than I was most evenings I am not even thinking about it unlike before I would planning my next bottle!! I am feel way healthier and dont want to feel rough every day like I did. I too do have the problem that given the opportunity ie. if drinking alone which is often the case in my life that I would finish off a whole bottle of wine rather than just having a couple - I will only manage that if I am sharing a bottle with a friend or dcs father !!! Not sure that will ever change but at least I feel like I have a handle on things presently

looks like this thread is dying a death too ?

I'm still here - but it sounds like everyone else feels they are getting better ...

I am not sure "getting better" is the phrase, but I certainly find it tedious to keep coming on here and recounting what I have had to drink, and more importantly what I have not had to drink.

I sometimes feel that by continually posting I am focusing my attention on something that has had far too much of my attention previously.

There are some that say it takes 3 weeks of changed behaviour to break a habit (although some others say 9 months for a new habit to be completely integrated). If drinking too much is a habit, rather than an addiction, then perhaps those people have moved on a bit.

If on the other hand, some are finding the pattern harder to change, then I guess you will find us lurking around on this or other similar threads in the future.

Thanks to all who have been on here - you have helped me to think about what I am doing. Good luck to you all.

My gut feeling is that if drinking was a genuine habit for the majority of people posting here they would not need the support of an internet forum to break it, any more than one needs an internet forum to break the habit of going to the pictures on a Saturday night.

My guess is that, though we probably all like to call excessive drinking a "habit", the truth is that for most people posting here, if they are honst, it is an addiction or "problem" and that is why they need help, support and encouragement. Such honesty is not easy but it is necessary.

Certainly, some of the people who were posting here have admitted that it is a problem, that they cannot cope, that one drink is never enough, that once the drinking starts it becomes more important than family, friends, work, money, pride ... and, most important of all, that it is making them miserable.

I hope those people - who, again by gut instinct, I sense are in the majority on this thread - find the courage to come back, even if it is under an assumed name.

Good luck to all. It can get better if you let it.

I'm still here, too!

And I got a tea chest that is a force to be reckoned with!

I've got herbal teas of all sorts, black teas of many kinds, flavoured teas, some green teas.

Hi MIFLAW, I am not sure I agree with some of your post. I respect your experience, and you are probably in a good place to spot behaviour that conforms to a dangerous pattern.

But, I think that there are many examples, on mumsnet and on other internet forums, where people seek help support and encouragement of others who are in a similar position. It may be to lose weight and change eating habits. It may be to stop procrastination. It may even be to stop internetting as much.

For any of these, people might describe it as "can't stop at one " or "on the internet when I should be playing with my children". By recognising a bad habit, people are taking the first step in doing something about it. That is what is so encouraging about this thread.

I think that there is a difference between something that has become an unhealthy habit, and something that is a more significant problem or an addiction. For each of us individually, we will know whether our drinking is pattern that has become unhealthy but which can be changed (with as much ease or difficulty as we could change another bad pattern), or whether it is exerting more control over our lives.

I hope that there are many around who can benefit from a thread like this while their drinking is at a stage where it can be changed at will. A wake-up call, if you like.

For me, I recognise it as a serious issue, and I am doing what I can. On this thread, I feel encouraged by the efforts of those who are doing well, and I empathise with those who feel they are letting themselves down.

I do take your point. However, I suspect that "people [who] describe it as "can't stop at one " or "on the internet when I should be playing with my children"", if it genuinely is just a turn of phrase, generally don't start (or subscribe to) threads which reek of genuine despair and panic like this one. If you look at the title of this thread and the overall tone of the posts on it you will see that has little to do with "I've gained a few pounds and have a sore head because I've overindulged in Chardonnay" and everything to do with "I struggle to imagine a life either with or without alcohol, I am frightened and desperate and I don't know what to do about it."

I think you are right - there were some people here who recognised an unhealthy habit, maybe drew support and encouragement from this thread, moderated their behaviour to their own satisfaction - either because of this thread or independently - and went away again. Fantastic news, good luck to them.

I think we both know that they were in the minority - or, rather, tthat there were more than enough people relying on this thread who clearly fell into the OTHER camp. I wonder where THEY are and if they have resolved things to their own satisafaction? Without support, my guess is not.

The biggest irony about this whole thread, right from the beginning, has been that it has been mobbed by people who knock AA, or don't think it's for them, or aren't that bad, or don't want to join because it's a cult - who then use this very thread as AA by proxy, ie to gain support from a group of people in a similar boat to give them practical and emotional support in sorting out their common and self-confessed problem! If those people are not on this thread any more, but are still thinking AA's "not for them", I wonder exactly what they DO have to meet those needs now?

Hi all, have been away last week and avoiding this thread since i got back , will catch up with recent posts later. Drinking has been creeping steadily back up - not feeling good about that so am determined to keep checking in for support and conversation.

Sounds from a couple of posts above that I am not the only one who's disappeared recently. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, so to speak.

What about dry drunk syndrome? Anyone know about that?

Hi all...if this helps..I'm here still. I've been on 14 units a week since March with 3 wk breaks and 2 week breaks!! I am a sucessful cutter downer!!. Was drinking bottle of red a night for couple of years.
This thread has got far to heavy...hence why it's tailing off.Everyone to embarassed and judged to talk!
Everyone has crap days..I have 4 days off and have people round for dinner and am cross that I did 8/9 units in a night and spend all week stressing about it...but then get back on straight and narrow.
I'm not an alcholic...could off got that way I guess..but..I am quite happy...these days without a drink..but I'm happy to have a litle induldge every now and then and pull back a little when I know i should.
I have watched this thread everyday and I have seen busy, hardworking,stressed mothers worried about what they drink and why they drink. It's not always that simple..
Life is not that simple..everyone on this thread has admitted a tendancy/dependency...whatever you like..sometimes just talking to others that want to change can help and think some of us are missing the point.
Life is not black and white...it shouldn't be how this thread is going...it's for gentle, sympathitic(sp) support..
I want to be able to say...FUCK...I feel bad...I've just gone 4 days without a drink and now I've had 3 glasses of wine and I feel guilty...someone tell me to get back to no booze tomorrow...you've done so well..NOT...I need to go to AA and I have life problems!!
Ladies...get back on here...we don't need tough tactics..we want light support...unless we ask for anything else...yes???
..P.S...It's fRiday...I have the Friday feeling..but hubby out and in with kids..Had 1 watered glass of wine and on the water now...thats my point.... a year ago..unheard off..would have been a bottle!!
I don't want to be tee total...and thats that! But I do have to keep an eye on myself..and thats that to!!
Also..alot of the advice on here is useful from tee totals...but without offending and also congratulating how well you have done...some people are just not ready...but they may be ready in a couple of months..but if pressure is put upon us(certainly from my point of view!) I shided away!
It needed to come from me, in a very softly softly way and private way, which is why these threads are so perfect for us all. To get your mind into the right place.
Sorry...must be the water talking!!!! Just had to get that out of my system!!!!
I am not trying to upset anyone....I'm just saying it's good to talk!!
Have good weekend all....

I've tried drinking wine with fizzy water in it and it's actually quite nice. Dh has been away, and I haven't wanted to drink much as there is too much to do. There's still wine in the shed and beer in the house. It's nice feeling empowered and actually able to do things.

plonketyplonk (love the name!) - you asked about being a dry drunk ... I was one of those for a while, and it kind of did my head in! It worked for a bit, but I found that ditching the alcohol didn't mean I'd dealt with the 'ism', and in many ways that 'ism' is far more of a problem than the booze itself.

Is it something you've attempted?

No, I still drink, and try to be sensible. I had a friend who stopped drinking but everything else stayed the same. It was very sad to see him behaving in the same ways, just without the beer.

Is it something that people don't often talk about? I am still a smoker although I hardly ever smoke, and I'm not having much fun giving up putting things in my mouth (NRT)

Hi Plonkety- I don't think people talk about it much primarily because a lot think that if they just stop drinking, that in itself is being in recovery, but its not.

You described dry drunk really well when you described your friend. It IS a term that specifically applies to alcoholics probably, which again why it's not a well known phrase in general
All the behaviours and ways of thinking etc are still there. It inevitably leads to relapse- am only talking through personal experience of course!

Also, I think its probably a term only those who ARE recovering alcoholics really get, iyswim.

Hope that helps?

Eastergirl, let me be the first to congratulate you for cutting down and staying cut down. It is fantastic news and you must be very pleased and proud yourself.

I have to say, I have not seen any sign of anyone being judged on this thread because, as you say yourself, life is not black and white. I think there are several people on this thread who are very far from being in your admirable position of being able to cut down and stay there, though, and I think that they need support too.

I fully agree that not everyone on here is an alcoholic - far from it. But, for those that are, the future is bleak without proper support. Alcoholism, for the minority who are unlucky enough to have it, is a life-threatening illness and it really drags it out. It is painful, depressing, and frightening and can lead sufferers to do sad, silly things. I hope those drinkers too continue to find appropriate support and encouragement, here and elsewhere.

I agree, too, that wine with water, fizzy or still, is quite nice.

Indeed, I found it very moreish ...

I have been absolutely crap recently. Just keep find excuses why I'm "allowed". Will start reading the book recommended by Expat, and hope that gives me a kick up the whatnot.

I find it helpful to remember that it actually isn't much fun being drunk (most of the time these days). It's been a long time coming, and I think for me, that alcohol is an abdication of responsibility. If I am drunk, I am no longer responsible. So... if I want to take control of the reins, I cannot be pissed.

Yes I know what you mean Bla.

I am having a horrible time not eating nicotine lozenges. I have been given patches, and frankly I might as well be going cold turkey. This is ridiculous as I stopped smoking 5.5 years ago, and smoke a few fags every now and again. Anyway, the horrible thing about being a nicotine junkie is that I am trying to fill the gap with wine, and it's not very nice. Last night the brakes went on after a bottle and it's a while since I drank that much. It's the same feeling as when I stopped smoking before, and very unpleasant.

A lot of what some people have said on here about the drive to get pissed is the same sort of thing that I had when my eating was very bad. It's not something I really think about these days, but reading some of the stories here reminded me of how grim it is to have a life totally dictated by some outside force.

Hi Bla, I am having a similar struggle. Haven't smoked for seven years, but been on and off nicorette pretty much all that time. Every time I try to kick the stuff I go into complete panic and either start again or, worse, pick up the fags again ... Just don't know what to do about it!