Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??

[no1andno2]

Anyone ? I need some help and fast..........

I'm craving sleep right about now.

Insomnia again so didn't get to sleep until midnight and wee man was up at 6.30 bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

morning everyone - thanks for your support on Saturday night - I went to sleep shortly after getting off MN. I did feel like crap yesterday and yet again i yelled at my kids because I felt like crap - so a truly crap mum this weekend- but hey today is a new day and a new week and I would like to try to be more positive - I thought about the stuff that winds me up the most mainly dcs father and the rubbish he comes out with i get pissed off because i dont stand up for myself and I actually did stand up to him yseterday and I brought up the incident on saturday that had me reaching for the wine again and told him what I thought so do feel a bit better about myself.

I have read the Allen Carr book and it did work for me for a while I have trying re-reading it but just cant back into it - I will keep posting this week - and good luck all on the week

A new week and another chance to get it right. Good luck to everyone trying.

I didn't open the bottle of red. I would have, but by the time the boys had gone to bed I was exhausted. I didn't even manage to stay up and watch the results of Dancing on Ice. Who left?

Anywhooo, I will attempt an alcohol free few days AGAIN and see how I go. I've got DH coming home tomorrow after working away for a few weeks. I drink more when he is away because I can please myself and nobody is watching. Plus we argue if I drink and I'm determined to work on some relationship issues that we have. Starting with some rumpy pumpy Since the birth of my last son, nearly 2 years ago, I admit that I just can't be bothered. I'd rather have one more glass of wine and crash out on the sofa. But things must change if I'm going to get our marriage back on track.

Positive thoughts to all X

Good luck to you forever

forever, Zoe Salmon left, after skate-off with Jessica.

not a good few days for me either. I am going to abstain again for a while.........I am so much happier when I do.

feel very low this am. Im so tired. Determined to try and eat more healthliy for energy too.

So glad this thread is till going and even if we are all struggling form time time we can be on here for support.

xx

Good luck with abstention, 1&2 - am sure if you do, you will feel, not only happier, but less tired and lacking in energy.

hope it goes well - let us know.

Sorry you've had a bad few days No1andno2. You're not alone.

I don;t have anything wise to say though. Wish I did.

Thanks Bellabelly. Would have thought it should have been Colleen though. Makes the show a bit stupid now letting one of the better performers go. Oh well. I'll continue to watch for Ray

I hope things go well with your dh, F2B. Dh and I are trying to sort out a few rel. probs too. At the mo I am really fed-up with him and I don't know how much it is actually him and if it's really just me. Perhaps I am doing something that is pushing him towards being a mega-prat, or perhaps he is just a mega-prat, full stop.

seems like we are all struggling with our relationships as well as our alcohol intake -I think I focus too much of my attention/emotins on trying to get it right think I need to relax a bit more rather trying to please everyone all of the time - me time is something I am going to try and create - tend to think of my drinking as me time - I literally sit in another room or wait to the kids are asleep before I start so 1. they dont witness my drinking and tell dad 2. its the only time I get to myself. If am being honest think my 11 year old may well have sussed out my secret drinking already and I know my "me time" could be spent in the bathroom relaxing in the tub instead of clutching my bottle!!! Going to really give it my all this week so will keep posting and checking how you are all doing - No1&No2 I think you are right abstaining is probably the only way - cutting down/back etc just does not work for many of us - we are too out of control already - sorry dont mean to sound defeatest

Anyone who is thinking of abstaining rather than cutting down, you have (for what it's worth) my admiration, sympathy and support. It was definitely the way to go for me, but I took some convincing of that fact at first ...

It's only defeatist if you see drinking as a game that you have to compete at. Like most games, no one really minds if you just get your coat and walk away if you're not having fun. You might see it as defeat; or you might see it as stopping hitting yourself in the face with a hammer because you don't like the way hitting yourself in the face with a hammer makes you feel. It's up to you.

Good luck to all.

S

Oooh. Can I ask you all, do any of you feel any health benefits to giving up?

I'm not a huge boozer but dh and I can get through 2 bottles of wine each and several pints at the weekend. We've given up for Lent and are now on day 15. The first week was no probs. But this last weekend was awful, I felt grumpy bloody miserable (could have been pmt too?). But also, I don't feel any healthier at all and in fact, the little gripes I put down to alcohol, are still there even though I haven't touched it!

Two bottles each how often?

Bladebla~I have to admit that my current relationship problems are all down to me. I can be so cold emotionally that I think he has just given up trying to get close to me. What we need to do is sit down and talk. But I'm not sure we can do that without arguing. Outside help like Relate or something is what I think would work best. But how on earth to I go about suggesting that?

When we first met, I was a happy person and quite passionate. In many ways he has subdued that aspect of my personality by being less passionate and spontaneous. I used to leave notes round the house telling him how I wished he would kiss me with abandon etc. Sounds really stupid, but he was never like that, but I was.

Now, with years of drinking I'm emotionally numb. I can't remember what it's like to make love sober or even want to. I still love him and want to be him. He's the father of my children and we've achieved so much together. Built in many ways is a great life. I do find him attractive. But there are days when I don't. Kind of think that's normal though. Especially after 15 years!

What I'm trying to say is that I need to put a lot of work into making our marriage as good as it used to be. And I can't do that drunk. I need to be sober, optimistic and motivated. I'm not any of those after a bottle of wine.

Well, on Fridays we'd have a few cans. Then on Saturday we'd have 2 pints, then a bottle of wine each once the kids are in bed.
On Sundays we'd have another bottle of wine each, but we had started cutting back to just a half bottle.

We might have a couple of drinks on Wednesday too.

So not a huge amount.

Please excuse all my grammatical errors. I'm typing quickly and trying to avoid my boss seeing!

Rhubarb

In some ways, you are caught between two stools (stalls?) You have been drinking enough that you will get minor withdrawals and feel a bit disorientated, fuzzy and "empty" without it; but not so much that, after the first couple of days, you expereince the sheer relief of not flooding your system with poison on a daily basis. And, at the same time, all the minor ailments your hangovers were masking are now coming out to play ...

The good news is that you will feel health benefits and they will be long-lasting - but it won't be the sudden miracle that really heavy drinkers get, and it may be a while before you notice it. One Sunday morning, for example, you'll notice you feel great and have a spring in your step, and you'll remember it wasn't always like that. Give it time - it will come.

When I was just drinking at the weekends I dont feel the benefit so much but when its been all week plus weekends when I do manage to cut down/give up the physical and emotional benefits are really good - I hate to think whats going on in my body - I already know that it has done some damage as I had a test for high cholesterol and the doc at the time asked if I drank as one of the results had a high reading - he didnt go into too much detail - just asked that I cut back !!!

good luck tonight everyone

I'd echo give it time.

Someone asked about health benefits? I know I drank differently to youse, but since I've stopped, I've lost LOADS of weight,over 3 stone over a period of about 2 years, not just due to the alcohol,but also because I've got balance back in my life.
I'm an alcoholic, and I drank alcoholically, so I don't know if what I'm saying is relevent, but I do identify with a lot of your posts, perhaps I was just further on down the line.

I basically got my life back since stopping,its taken time and a lot of work, but I do remember how hard it was, and I have friends who aren't alcoholic, but ARE quite heavy drinkers who say a lot of the same things I've read on here.

Anyway, the main thing is its great to see people writing honestly, thats a HUGE scary step. x

hi all. I managed no alcohol last night and without wanting to gloat am very proud of myself. It was actually helped by dh being out so I ate with the boys at 6pm then made them play board games etc with me to keep me occupied.

Re the benefits, I can't say I feel great I'm exhausted despite sleeping like a log every night. I guess I'm used to alcohol induced insomnia - about 3 hours most nights that I have some kind of weird sleep thing going on where now I am sleeping I'm tired . Here's to day 2 of zero wine I hope!

Giving up alcohol too, drank a bottle of wine almost every night until about three weeks ago. Cut down massively and am so ashamed of how much I've drunk in last couple of years. Doc has asked me to go for Liver Function test and I'm so scared and so embarrassed at what I've done to myself.

hi there again,
well i seem to be managing this not drinking thing okay after all (apart from the 3 cans of carlsberg on sunday. ssssh.) in some ways its EASIER than i think, and thats what i've found every time i stop. i can do it, its nice not to have hangovers, feel really tired etc.
one of the bits of the allen carr book i did think was useful for me, was this question 'would this situation really be improved with alcohol?; and the answer generally seems to be no after all. like, sitting and watching telly for example!
what i don't seem to be able to give up is arguing with dp. i too used to be a very happy go-lucky highly passionate woman and now i feel pretty trapped and miserable. we are shit at arguing! if i bring anything small up he sees it as me 'starting a fight' and will immediately be furious and it won't be resolved until we both have apologised. we also are rubbish at sex now. i feel so closed off from him, i now feel that the only emotion i'm 'allowed' is happiness. which was sort of how it was in my family home. i think i want to split up, but the practicalities of who moves out, who gets custody of our son etc., are too enormous.
but anyway, i'm glad i;m doing ok with the booze! will have a testing time tonight: got an evening course on domestic violence which is always quite emotional, and then meeting a dear old friend for dinner. he's not drinking and is always supportive of me not boozing, so that will make it easier, but you know, a glass/bottle with a meal out....
lets see.

Hello all.

I had half a bottle of gin on Sat night, then a bottle plus one glass of wine on Sun evening.

A friend turned up with a bottle of wine last night but I declined and am feeling great this morning.

I won't drink this week until Fri or Sat night. I suppose I need to work on cutting down the amount not (so much) the frequency.

Oggsdog

It sounds - from what you've posted - that you might be happier if you stopped altogether than if you struggle with cutting down. It may sound impossible now but it's not, particularly if you take it a day at a time.

Entirely up to you, though. But if you do decide to go down that route, help is out there and you will not be alone.

Good luck whatever you decide.

man, been meaning to say, you posted something a while back about following the script through to the end in your head, about having that first drink. and thats a very helpful devise for me. cos i remember that when i have one, i'm not sated, i'm exactly the same as i was before, same craving,same desire, its not fixed by a fix!its not like heroin where you have some and thats it for a while! i just have some and am still wanting the second glass, or the third etc. and whilst my script might not be drinking with strangers or anything it is still being unsatisfied and full of cravings for a drink! even if i'm half way through a pint i have that.