Anyone gone teetotal after heavy drinking..if so how did you do it and for how long have you kept it up ??

[no1andno2]

Anyone ? I need some help and fast..........

beantin, what happened when your digestive system stopped?

'and i thought, god i want a drink. i want not to be in charge! i try to delegate one of the childcare duties (i work, he doesn't, so he has more time with our child but i do all the decisioning around it and things like that).
but i didn't. but i feel cross still, and distant from him. and that if i had some drink i would stop feeling like the boss of just about everything. when i'm pissed, he has to look after ME!'

You drink in part because your partner isn't a partner, from the sounds of it.

If you don't find him fanciable except when pissed, and if you drink in part in order to get him to behave like an adult, it might be worth your while to spend time examining if this relationship is worth the issues you have with alcohol.

Sorry if that sounds harsh or judgemental, but you sound like you're worried about how alcohol is affecting your health and have expressed things like memory loss as a result of alcohol use.

I can pinpoint when I started drinking heavily was when my marriage started to fall apart (my ex h never wanted children and we ended up divorcing).

And going through the split and separation and then the divorce, I took to drink to cope.

And a friend, a recovering alcoholic saying only one thing when I finally reached the end of the line for me: 'See, EIS, you turned to this for comfort, but it didn't take away your problems. Instead you just found yourself divorced, broke and an alcoholic into the bargain!'

That about summed it up!

Well. Here I am. I'm posting quickly before I lose my nerve.

I have had a bad relationship with alcohol all my life.

I can either abstain completely or drink way too much. I'd rather not have a drink at all than just have one glass.

I have been drinking too much for far too long and am worried about the state of my liver.

I might chicken out any minute and not post this.

I haven't had a drink since Sunday. I will probably drink tomorrow night.

Dh and I were saying the other night that we are kidding ourselves and that 'are you having a drink tonight?' is a euphamism for 'are you getting drunk tonight?'

I've been wanting to post for ages and even had a new nickname lined up as I didn't have the nerve to put myself out there.

Hi oggsdog. Nothing to be nervous about here!

I'm with you on the prefer nothing to just one glass. I'd prefer to not go out if I had to drive and couldn't have a few.

I'm on my 2nd week of weekday abstinence and it's hard going. I'm really looking forward to having a glass of wine tomorrow. Or several probably.

This thread has given me loads of food for thought though, so I still plan to be "sensible" about it. Sounds like a few of us have had a bit of a wake up call. It's never too late though!

No need to be nervous at all! You've come to the right place.

The good news about the health effects and the wider-ranging effects on your life - though, believe me, they are not exaggerated, quite the reverse - are that they are by and large reversible once you stop drinking.

I was told, at 27, that I had protein in my urine - apparently, this really is not a good thing - and that I might not see 30. I am now 35 and protein-free ...

MaeBee - equals don't delegate to each other. Perhaps, while you work on your drinking, your partner needs to work - WITHOUT your coaching - on pulling his weight!

My herbal tea's starting to kick in.

Just waiting for DH to finish watching 'Skins' - he sure does know how to pick 'em! - before hitting the sack.

How's everyone doing?

Oggsdog

A lot of people, inclduing some of the people on this thread, have been where you are now and faced the worries and the same bleak choices.

Some of us chose to stop drinking altogether and are nevertheless living happy, full and varied lives, much more so than when we drank.

Others here have cut down in various ways and are also happy, but not everyone finds they are able to do that.

If you stay long enough, you will find someone you recognise as being like you and their story will give you the confidence to do what's right for you.

In the mean time, you have taken the most important step of all by asking for help.

Stick around.

S

Thanks everyone.

I think my first step is to be totally honest with myself about how much I drink (when I do drink).

Nowadays I can quite easily go for periods when I don't drink at all eg; when I was pregnant and for eight weeks when I was seriously dieting 3 years ago etc. and for the last few years I've been usually abstaining during the week and only drinking at weekends.
The trouble is the amount I drink when I do.
And the amount I have drunk in the past.

I went for years and years drinking every night.
About 20 years ago I drank 2lt of cider almost every night.
I can easily drink up to 2 bottles of wine or half a bottle of spirits in an evening and still function.
I don't really get terrible hangovers.
I am 4 stone heavier than I'd like to be.
When I was 18 I could drink about 6 pints of snakebite and get the bus home on my own.

Sorry if this is all coming out in a bit of a splurge. I'm embarrassed and am feeling uncomfortable volunteering all this but I think at the age of 42 I should get a handle on this one way or another.

Hi Oggsdog welcome to the thread and good morning eveyone.

I went out last night and was very proud that I only drank 2 glasses of wine and drank water in between while others were glugging it back.

The weekend approaching is usually a bad time for me as I spend it with just the kids mainly - tonight not so bad as I hate having hangovers on Saturday morning so much to get done on Saturdays - Saturday is the killer for me - get very lonely and drink to fill in the time I suppose. Havent actually decided not to drink this Saturdy as I was given a lovely bottle of wine at work and really want to drink it.

How is everyone else doing ?

Check back on later bye

Hi everyone.

Oggsdog, I could have written your post this time last year. I told myself I didn't have a problem because I could abstain when I wanted to, but like you it was all or nothing. No off button.

I chose to stop. I'm not for a moment saying that's what you should do, but I will say that it's such a relief not to be mentally wrangling with it the whole time. I don't crave a drink any more, though I do sometimes think it would be nice - especially in summer, when people are sitting outside cafes drinking cold white wine! - but it's much simpler not to have a 'choice' about it. There is no choice for me, really - being sober is the much happier option.

Oh, and I was 42, too! Please don't think I'm preaching, I'm just sharing my experience because your story sounds so much like mine.

Good luck, and stay on the thread!

Maebee - sorry for delay in reply. Body kept getting rid of the alcohol pretty quickly - both ends . Would have one shot, two pints of water and either throw up or spend the next morning on the loo - was great incentive to stop I guess as the consequences far outweighed having to deal with that. Was just easier to give up. May well be addicted to Starbucks hot chocs instead though I have always found that chocolate or ice cream is better when feeling down - at least the hormones make you feel better with a nice bar of dark choccie.

beantin. i went through that when i was drinking much more too, throwing up even if i just had a couple of pints.

this morning feeling good and chirpy and a bit guilty for my shameless damning of my partner! he does pull his weight really, he does more childcare than me, cos he looks after our son whilst i'm at work, he does most of the shopping etc. he's a musician and thats his big passion, but it doesn't bring in any money, but he spends his free time mostly working on that, and sometimes i get pissed off that the house is a state etc. and he never forward plans, whilst i have 3 calendars, hence he would never make a dentist appointment whilst i would...
anyway, he is supportive with me cutting down or stopping drinking. he drinks a lot less.
ok, got to take child to a parent and child group.i am feeling lively and glad idon't have a hangover today!
lets get through tonight if we can...

Oggsdog, again, it all sounds very familiar ...

Fairytale, I still get that too - though with me it's pints of beer in beer gardens rather than white wine at pavement cafes - but, like I've been taught, I "play the film through to the end". I watch myself drinking that pint; then the second; then all my friends leaving me one by one as I start my third; then finding the sun too bright and going to sit inside the pub; then heading off to find a cheaper, dirtier and more anonymous pub to finish the job; then somehow making it home, not having the energy to eat and falling asleep fully clothed because I can't get my shoes off.

In fact, when I was drinking, the company of normal drinkers in "nice" pubs and cafes annoyed me. It was like the situation was mocking me. I'd sooner be alone in the pub, or with like-minded individuals, or at home, drinking red wine.

Well it's Friday again! Congratulations to everyone who's made it through with nothing, to everyone who at least has considered the amount they are drinking and cut back accordingly, and to everyone who realises that drink has become a problem and has come looking for support.

Would it be too twee to offer a big slap on the back to us all?

I for one, plan to have some wine tonight. Not a gallon of it, but a few glasses. It is my dd's birthday next week so I need to be up and out and "surprise" shopping tomorrow morning. I will NOT have a hangover! And I plan to pick up a takeway on way home from work/school so that I actually eat BEFORE the wine gets opened.

Something else I noticed this week - Food has become something to be enjoyed (again). I've been really hungry in the evening, and looking forward to dinner - rather than the meal just being an brief interval between glasses.

Also I have been much better with dd. I hadn't really noticed how much I have seen bathtime/bedtime as a "chore" to be got out of the way so I could "relax". I've definitely had more quality time with both dd and dh this week.

Well I think we all deserve a pat on the back, just for contributing to this thread (or for even looking at it - in case there are people who are lurking, but haven't yet posted).

Being consciously aware of our habits is something really important for all of us - when we drink, why we drink, what we drink, who we drink with... and what we want to do about it.

I had a serious reality moment this week when dp dared to have a glass of my wine. I felt so unreasonably angry and cheated of that glass. Despite having had a few alcohol free days, and feeling very proud of myself (and healthy), I know that when i came home from work and saw he had opened a beer that I gave myself permission to join him and have a glass of wine. But my expectation from the start was that the whole bottle would be mine if I choose. I don't think I was planning to drink it all (and I can and do put the cork back in the bottle) but the extent of my feeling about not having the choice to drink it all has quite shocked me.

Hmmm. Lots for me to think about this weekend.

Oggsdog - glad you made it back. I remember your first post and I knew you were out there.

Oggs, many of us drank very heavily in our past before we have kids.

I know I did!

I, too, worry about my health at times, for how I treated my body in the past, as in addition to drinking loads I also smoked a lot of cigarettes. Tbh, nowadays, when I crave, it's usually a fag rather than drink.

Yeah Expat I used to be a smoker too. Now I can't stand to be near anyone who smokes, just the merest whiff makes my chest tighten and my asthma flare up.

Dh was at the shops earlier and asked if I wanted any wine... I stood firm and said no, so I'm just about to get in the bath with a fizzy grapefruit juice, some fillet steak (Atkins ) and a book.
Then I'm going to knit while we watch a dvd.

You're getting in the bath with the fillet steak? The book I can understand....

It's cut up into small chunks so I can pop them easily into my mouth - I don't take a knife and fork .
I can spend hours in the bath with a good book and often took a whisky or G&T in with me.

steak in the bath? thats just so odd!

well, managed some sort of sex without drinking at all last night! it wasn't great but it felt a bit of a milestone. its almost like i'd have to learn a whole new sexuality if i did it without boozing.

am feeling a bit low today, worrying about not feeling so sexually attracted to dp etc. as i said before, i feel quite over responsible all the time.if i'm drunk or hungover, i'm idle and laid back and someone ELSE is in charge, and then i feel frisky and unresponsible. sigh.

anyway, i didn't drink last night and today i have a lovely family day at the farm planned. and am sure i'll enjoy it much more without a saturday hangover!!

damn. massive fight with dp,ruined our family day, enormous melodramatic sulking. our family days often seem to burst into arguements.
and i sneaked into the cellar and helped myself to a can of carlsberg that i've hidden away there after some party where a whole crate was left. honestly? no, not one, had three. and you know what, i'm drunk on them now, and it doesn't feel lovely and a relief, i just have a headache and feel guilty.
remind me to read what i just wrote next time!
x