Broccoli and kohlrabi, when they are both full grown.....10 / 10 thread

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

this is going to look like thinly veiled excuse to have you look at photos of my boys
but could you tell me which photo (of the first 5) you think is the nicest? I am having some prints done to go in photoframes that ds1 has decorated
I think no 1 is gorgeous but ds1's hair is a bit mad

oh
shall i post the link then

oops

1 or 3

But they are all lovely. What a handsome pair.

3 or 4 - all beautiful!

I think 1 is gorgeous... DS1 looks so grown up compared to the last lot of photos!

Soz, will butt out!

ok, sorry this is long
well, ds2 (my baby) is 8. He has always been pretty happy at school until around 5 weeks ago. He kept having meltdowns. He is prone to a nasty temper and once he loses himself, has problems getting himself back on track IYSWIM. But hasn't been a huge problem withthis at school until 5 weeks ago.
I have been into school countless times since then.
Today I was in school anyway for something else and his teacher summoned me as he wouldn't do any work. He looked wretched.
We established a couple of days ago he is being bullied by a group of boys who were previously his friends.
The school has dealt with the bullies. We have been dealing with sanger management.

But ds has gone into himself at school. He woouldn't eat lunch with the other children and wouldn't go out to play. The head says he is spiralling downwards.

He told me tonght he is very lonely. He said: ''It is true what they say, one is the loneliest number''

He has also told me he is scared he is going to be expelled! And they will send him to a ''nasty school where I will be bullied even more.''

I realise today he is much better at relating to adults (who all think he is fabulous) but cannot seem to realte to other children, though he is very playful and full of joi de vivire generally.

We have listed with him today all the adults he can talk to when he feels like this, and I am taking him to grandmas tomorrow so he can be ''wrapped in love'' by me and granparents and his aunt and uncles.

Ds1 is compounding things. Ds1 is generally a very sensitive, loving, popular child but he is vile to ds2. He keeps sneering at everything he says and telling him off and says things like ''no wonder no-one at school likes you..''

It's like ds2 cannot get the subtleties of communicating with his peers. He pokes and prods and makes stupid noises and repeats his 'jokes' over and over to get attention.

How do you teach a child how to be a good friend?

oh bugger, tis me. Sorry, was arsing around on another thread.

fmf i don't know
have read and am thinking and will try to suggest things but i think some of the other more experienced mothers on here will be able to help more effectively

i love the idea of him being wrapped in love!

Hello

I am watching that Indian food programme on replay

I can;t picka photo they are all gorgeous.

I would pay the money Avi if I couldn;t imagine life carrying on wihtout the plot/house.

so

it is partly about self esteem? need to boost his self esteem?

why is ds1 doing that?

have you thought of family therapy? get ds1 on board? my friend is family therapist, god she is marvellous
you can get it on the nhs apparently
i wish every family could have it

Oh fmf.

I don;t know what to say right now.

Will think.

I have thought about it but there is nothing locally at all. Excedpt for nhs children and adolescent mental health unit for seriously disturbed children.

The worst thing is twice the school have asked me if everything is ok at home.

I can only guess that ds1 is being like this because
is a) very competitive
b) ds1 has suffered a little from embarassment by association when ds2 has been a little, extreme....

ds2 worships the ground ds1 walks on.

please don't think that I am saying your family or ds1 is causing the problem btw!

but you are in an ideal position to help him, aren't you, so finding a way that you could all pull together and sort it out would be good

could you search for places where people might train as play therapists or family therapists etc? they may have students who could work for low cost / free

oh well, it has crossed my mind Franny! Guilt is my middle name, so of course I've thought about it....
But really, we have a lot of fun as a family, and most of the time, the boys are inseparable and we talk lots and have family meetings and everything.

OK, I am not being selfish really and will catch up with thread when I have finished a huge pile of ironing....

BUT....

if you have a moment to spare

It is not live yet but am dying to share...am very very quietly proud that I am on the first steps to re-establishing myself,

if you do....thanks for looking.

oh my sainted aunt - how talented are you??

I adore the lizards...

Franny photos 1,3,5. No one probably if I had to choose. And they are sooooooo gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mou! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FMF I have no advice or ideas I'm afraid but wish I could give ds2 a big hug. It will work out, but must be a very difficult time for you all. ((((fruity hugs))))

Fmf, it sounds like your boys have a similar relationship to mine. That big-one-putting-down-little-one thing is hell, isn't it? But I also wonder sometimes if it has an element of comfort to it because it is part of a familiar pattern. Does that sound like complete shit? I have been doing a lot of child-observing lately.
Is there any friend/potential friend that ds2 can be latched with at school? Might that help? Or do all the boys hang in one clump? What about girls?
Does/can anything positive happen for/to him at school? My ds1 gets v. v. low about school but a happy combination of having his anti-bullying poster chosen as best in year and being able to take part in a hockey tournament made him walk on air.
Just thoughts, don't know how helpful.

Franny, photo one is amazing particularly because of ds2's perky expression. Not that ds1 doesn't look gorgeous, but he is equally alert in all of them iyswim.

Smilers, those glowy colours!! And that darling frog!! Oh, and everything. Is all splendid

ooh i also love the frog

so absolutely NO consensus on photos
i think i had better take some more
agree first one of ds2 just fab but ds1's hair really quite insane (as you see from jammies he just got up)

fmf i know, a friend asked why i felt guilty about something this week and i answered "default mummy position?"
i just read a great book called playful parenting about how to deal with troubles through play at home
am happy to lend if sounds at all useful?

You're up late Franny

You must do photo 1, it's so lovely. Mad hair is fine.

oh shit whoops

Oh I am giddy with the name changes!

Franny - 1, 3, 5 - all of us say 1 so go with mad bed hair

Avi - hard when you are up to a "limit" but the extra push for the place you want to live in forever? I would pay, but I am hopeless like that - ditto what Franny said

Mou - you are amazing your picture looks so happy and I love the primeval sort of aboringinal (sp?) feel of the paintings - big fan of the frog!

FMV - ah, my heard aches. I am not a seasoned mummy like others here. However, re your DS1 and DS2 is there any way you could enlist DS1 help to prevent DS2 being the embarrassment he fears? If DS1 is popular and older he may hold sway with some of DS2 class mates? Embue him with a bit of reflected glory?

Very much agree with Toot about finding something he likes or does well at school?

can you recruit a friend? Maybe a girl? Some one on one time away from school that would get DS2 over the initial social clunkiness and joke repetition into relaxing a bit and being normal?

If you want my email it's my "normal" daisy MN name with hotmail dot com
((hugs)

parsnip, swede, carrot

FMF, if DS2 has always been happy at school until very recently, I doubt this is irreversible.

What has the teacher suggested? Does anyone know why he has stopped doing any work?

Can she give him special jobs so that he feels valued? Like tidying the bookshelves, sharepning pencils, watering plants etc? Can he be a 'helper' at lunchtime? Or 'help' with a lunchtime club? Or listen to KS1 children read? Does the school have a learning mentor? Someone who can take a bit of time to teach him how to behave? My school used to have a 'handwriting' club for children who needed help with social skills. They'd play games and talk etc. I have no idea why they thought they were there to do handwriting but they all had a great time. 'Working' with KS1 children might make him feel important and they won't notice or judge his quirks. Also, have you explained to him how to make friends? Or gently pointed out that making wierd noises is not generally the done thing? And that he doesn't neeed to 'try' so hard to make friends.

What is going on with DS1? Are they at the same school?

Sorry for so many questions. I do feel for you all. It's horrible to see your LO feeling so sad. I think the main thing is that you keep doing what you are doing.

Smiles, what a fabulous website. I love the frog. You are so talented. Wow.

And, just for you: New Loo Roll this evening.

Curlywurly
Nutella on toast with a banana
Hula Hoops