ok, regular in disguise with TMI TMI TMI q about ladybits

[Regularwithbagonhead]

ok. deep breath, check bag is over head, ok.

I have tried to google the answer to this, and I will leave you to imagine the results I got. so I turn to you, dear Mumsnet, since it will be a cold day in hell before I turn up to my gp, fling off my knickers and ask him what he thinks is wrong with my clitoris.

Yup, that's the problem.

It has become red, shiny and itchy and so sensitive that it hurts to touch, which is a bugger cos it's so damn itchy.

Sex is not the culprit cos there's been none for so long I have forgotten what a willy looks like.

Self-lurve is not the culprit cos I don't. (no - really, no - honestly, no - truly. I tried it in the past but I just rubbed myself sore and felt rather foolish oh lordie look at me I am letting it all out now )

Nothing 'thrushy' cos I've had that before and I know it comes with other charming signs.

I would rather eat poo than offer my swollen shiny red clit to my gp and ask "hey doc, what do you think of this then?"

So. Any ideas?

More to the point, any over the counter suggestions for me?

Something that doesn't involve me asking the pharmacist for a cream to soothe my ...

I don't know, I'm afraid, but have you tried Googling? In the mean time, applying live yoghurt and/or cool water might soothe it a bit and won't do any harm (for the water, try a piece of cloth or cotton wool, soaked, and put a sanitary or Tena pad in your knickers)

Please please get to your doc asap.

Don't want to frighten you.

I will hold your hand.

CAT me if you like.

awww baggy

how long has it been like this

Could it be some urinary tract/cystisis type infection that has spread itself around, as it were? There is over the counter stuff for that.

Only other thought is some weird allergic reaction to ... washing powder ?

Failing that - find nice sensible elderly female GP who wears tweed and lace up brogues, ask her and then never return to see her again.

Maybe try some Canesten cream?

Or failing that, visit gp with your bag on your head?

(Note - no need to be embarassed really!)

Hassled's idea is a good idea - find a female gp you will never see again

Or (even though you know it isnt sexually transmitted) go to a clinic

I have no idea what is the matter with you but I would definitely advise you to get it looked at

Final thought could it be due to a change in washing powder, tight underwear or something?

have you gained a little weight and maybe your trousers are a wee bit tight causing chafing?

Ask your pharmacist! Most of them have a little side-room where you can have a private chat. I used to work in a pharmacy and people did come with some very 'intimate' questions. She will NOT be shocked. And you won't have to fling your knickers off either

SGB - I tried to google.

I have some advice for you.

NEVER EVER EVER google "swollen sensitive clitoris"
EVER.

Will try suggestions for soothing.

BALD - can't CAT, haven't got round to paying this years fee reminds me, I must do it. I would give you my email, but I don't want anyone to know who I am, and I have given my email before. (must tell you this anon lark is a bit liberating though!)

Didn't consider cystitis, hassled, what can you do for that?

Notan - it's been a few days now. Cor blimey it's driving me bonkers!!

Maybe This ?

Bacterial Vaginosis

This vaginal infection, like thrush, causes soreness, burning and itching of the vulva but little or no redness or swelling. Symptoms also include a grey or white vaginal discharge with a strong, fishy smell. Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) occurs when the 'good' bacteria normally living in the vagina are wiped out and replaced by 'bad' bacteria.

Because of the similarity of symptoms, it is easy to think you have thrush when you may have BV. For an accurate diagnosis visit your doctor or a clinic where an examination and tests can be carried out to determine what infection is causing your symptoms. BV, unlike thrush, can lead to a more serious internal infection called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) [Women's Health have an online leaflet on PID]. This can happen under certain circumstances, such as gynaecological surgery. BV may also cause complications during pregnancy.

Treatment for BV consists of a course of antibiotics taken by mouth or an antibiotic cream to be used inside the vagina. BV is not a sexually transmitted infection, and there is no reason to treat your sexual partner. However, if you are having sex with a man, you may want to consider using condoms, as ejaculate may upset the balance between the good and bad bacteria in your vagina

ermmm

I think I've had this happen to me.

More than once.

It vanished within 24 hours. The itching that is. Not my

I'm as fat as I've always been Not. In fact, you have no idea what I had to do to even be able to SEE the damn thing!!!

no change in washing powder, no tight undies either. I didn't bother with canestan since I am sure it's not thrush, but I suppose there is no harm in trying.

Or this?

Dysaesthetic Vulvodynia

Dysaesthetic Vulvodynia (previously called essential vulvodynia) has much in common with vestibulitis but the pain and burning, instead of provoked by touch or pressure, is constant. The pain sensation is often described as a nerve-type or neuralgic pain. Although the skin looks normal, the nerve fibres in the vulval skin may be damaged or irritated and on 'high alert', causing pain, burning and aching regardless of touch or pressure. The pain can affect more than just the vulva, such as the inside of the thighs and the anal area, and some women experience pain when emptying their bowels.

The term vulvodynia can be very confusing. It was used, and sometimes still is, as a general term for vulval pain including those types with known causes such as infection and skin problems. In 1991, the International Society for the Study of Vulval Diseases redefined the term to describe women with unexplained chronic vulval discomfort characterised by burning, stinging, irritation and rawness, i.e. vulval vestibulitis and dysaesthetic vulvodynia. Additional confusion arises when the terms vulvodynia and dysaesthetic vulvodynia are used interchangeably.

Like vestibulitis, dysaesthetic vulvodynia (DV) is diagnosed after all other causes of similar symptoms are ruled out. Treatment can include the same anaesthetic jellies and soothing emollients as for vestibulitis. As the pain seems to involve the nerve fibres, treatment with drugs that affect the nervous system can be helpful. The anti-depressant Amitriptyline is often prescribed for this reason and treatment can last up to six months. Side effects, such as a dry mouth and tiredness, are common and constipation may occur as well.

Self-help remedies to soothe the painful areas as described for vestibulitis (ice bags, Aveeno sitz baths etc.) can also be used for DV.

no smell, sawyer. At least I can't smell anything. I wonder if I dare ask my husband if he can smell anything.

How on earth would you start that conversation. "Darling, would you mind bobbing your head down and tell me if you smell kippers?"

obv - did you put anything on it?

email me at j u p o w e l l a t h o t m a i l d o t c o m if you like

Push the letters together, you know the routine.

(everyone else ignore politely please )

Try NHS Direct?

And boxing gloves in bed so you can't scratch in your sleep

Thanks sawyer. Neither are quite my symptoms, although some bits of each are similar.

Oh I hope it goes away. I REALLY don't fancy a trip to gp for this. It'd be a 3 man job anyway. - 1 holding back each flap and one in the middle with a miners helmet and an emergency flare.

boxing gloves

How about an appointment with your practive nurse or at a GUM clinic - they've seen everything and certainly won't mind taking a peek.

I can't be arsed to name change, but I had exactly the same symptoms a few weeks ago and, being similarly reluctant to brandish my clit at the GP, tried self treating with Canesten. This made things worse. I then got meself a pessary OTC. It still didn't improve. By this stage the red shininess had spread over my vulva towards my vagina.

Doctor looked at it and declared it to be external thrush. Prescribed another pessary and oral tab. It briefly improved for a few days during period, but then got a bit itchy again. Persevered with the cream for another day or two until whole fanny area felt is was on fire. Went to another doc who said it might be dermatitis, but that I needed to come back when period totally gone.

I stopped using the Canesten and after a couple of days fanny much better.

Soo, my suspicions are that I had some sort of localised external thrushy irritation which was killed off my the cream, but that the cream itself caused more irritation and itchiness.

Hope that's of some help

not overly comforted by the phrase "fanny on fire" but other than that......

so when fanny fire was extinguised, had original problem disappeared as well?

Lilred - I am equally [run away screaming] at thought of anyone fighting their way through the flab in attempt to locate the damn thing!

Ah yes, but from what yo say you have a belisha (sp?) beacon at the moment so they'll have no problem finding it!

Seriously, get it checked out by someone.

Oh dear, I feel for you, I really do! I have nothing constructive to say, but people's turns of phrase have had me tittering like a goodun here. Anyone elsethink 'essential vulvodynia' is just the best medical term ever? Why oh why did they change it?

go and see a nice lady doctor - it's their bread and butter you know - and even if they think it's hilarious and/or grim they can't tell anybody ever because of confidentiality! What have you got to lose - apart from your composure and a ladygarden all aflame?

yy, fanny is now in fine fettle. Hope yours makes a similar recovery...without the firey bit.