right next thing is to apologise to people who texted and didn't get a reply
I was trying to send a daily bulletin via
MrsC but also get around to replying individually as well but most days there didn't seem to be a chance to eat or sleep let alone get other stuff done
right this is more or less what happened
do not read if easily bored or upset by hospitally things as some of it is a bit nasty
as you know I had been concerned about feeding, but all the midwives I saw kept writing "feeding well" in the notes and leaving it
by Sunday we were thinking was it right for him to be grizzling like this but only had ds to compare with, which a) was 5 years earlier and b) was kind of contented little person
still not feeding properly though but no advice being offered
midwife came and "just didn't like the look of him" - thought he had a chest infection, wanted us to go to hosp to be assessed
when we got there everything went bonkers- all these horribly intrusive tests and everything spiralling down very fast
they said his blood sugar was low, he was dehydrated and he had jaundice
what they couldn't say was whether this had been caused by an infection which led him to feed poorly, and so cause the problems, or whether just some problems with bfing alone were the cause
blood tests looking for infection showed one marker was high - which meant probably some infection in the body - they needed more time to establish where
meanwhile he needed a drip to rehydrate and raise blood sugar
this was when they were saying he had to have formula
I had seen this coming a mile off and dug my heels in
I said I would express and they could feed him if necessary
I was asked "is there a REASON you prefer him not to have formula?"
erm yes I believe bm to be better and I want to bf him
"oh but we would not want you to stop bfing"
right
no support offered to help with bfing btw, just pressure to have a bottle of formula
anyway
moving on (he did not have one)
the blood tests went on and on and were pretty upsetting
he was beside himself a lot of the time and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him
it was honestly like some sort of nightmare and I am so sorry for those of you who have said you went through similar or worse
in the night time he had to have light treatment for the jaundice - this was also horrid - he had to lie in a resuscitaire with his eyes covered and I was told not to pick him up to feed him as he had to stay there for at least 4 hours before we could move him
(so, he'd been admitted with low blood sugar, jaundice, and dehydration, but I am not allowed to bf him? right 0
thank FUCK a slightly mad renegade nurse from India came on shift, walked in, saw L crying and said "hungry baby, you feed him" and handed him to me
he only needed a few hours under the lights and I was able to feed and cuddle him for periods - they also gave calpol to settle him which helped
he was then allowed to come out of light thingy but still on heart monitor, drip and I had to ask nurses every time I wanted to pick him up or feed him
he was not feeding well at all
no support offered - I asked to see bfing counsellor "she is busy"
the consultant came round and explained that they would have to consider meningitis a possibility unless we had a lumbar puncture
and would need to stay in for 10 days of abs instead of perhaps 3
thank god on Tues and Wed he started to pick up
we realised he really had been ill for whatever reason - I still wonder if a poor start to feeding coupled with an afternoon of interventions at the hosp and very limited chance to bf at all for a long period could have caused the whole thing
anyway we are happy to go with consultant's caution and assume it could have been meningitis - we decided against lumbar puncture though and to just go for the full 10 days of meds even though at that point we thought it meant staying in the hosp all that time - which was ruddy depressing
oh still no breastfeeding support. I asked constantly and was told "bf co-ordinator not in today" "midwives all busy" "she will come tomorrow" "we can't help, we are not trained"
I rang LLL leader and she came in (voluntarily in her own time) to see me. By that time we had managed to have 2 good feeds in between all the crap ones so she was able to give me good advice on how to keep that going
I did think of the threads where bfing supporters are called nazis and all that shit and got ruddy angry
this woman came to help me unpaid in her own time when no other fucker would
you have to be slightly militant to do that
anyway then on Wed I got ill myself
right L wants feeding, more later! or tomorrow
sorry so long