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Original poster

shock at breast cancer diagnosis today

138 replies

waily · 29/01/2005 00:53

I havent ever posted on here despite having been a member for a while, but i feel so shocked i just wanted to see if anyone could give me any advice. I m a 40 yr old mother of 2 girls 4 and 8, whose own mother died from breast cancer when she was 43, I had a mammogram 2 wks ago as family history screening, and was recalled today for a core biopsy and told i will need surgery and radiotherapy. I have talked briefly to one of my sisters and a long distance friend but do not want to talk to anyone close by in case it gets back to my daughters before I tell them myself.I have to see the surgeon next thurs and find out what / when things will happen. Can anyone help ? I have looked at some previous threads and at a couple of sites. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
waily · 02/04/2005 19:50

Just to let you know i m home ! The op went smoothly and i m feeling ok.thanks for all your messages and Arldon , hope you are ok too!

OP posts:
JanH · 02/04/2005 20:00

Glad to hear you are home and it all went well, waily. You are so strong and have come so far since your first post

winnie · 02/04/2005 23:09

Waily, glad you are at home and feeling ok. Thinking of you, Winniex

Original poster
waily · 09/04/2005 23:41

thanks everyone for your support. I saw my consultant on thursday to get the tissue report from the mastectomy and was told that there were further spots of cancer, like measles apparently, throughout the breast, that hadnt shown up on the mammograms. a mastectomy was very much the right decision , not that i d felt i had any choice, and even tho chemo has been a definite next step for a while, there is no time to waste. Again i feel shocked that the goalposts have moved again and very scared about the chemo itself. Anyway i will keep you all posted, thanks again to everyone who has responded on here or e mailed me.

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milward · 10/04/2005 00:09

Waily - sending you loads of support & best wishes xxx

dolally · 11/04/2005 08:46

Dear Waily, sending you lots of cyber support, hopefully the chemo won't be too bad, when do you start?

It must be so hard to go thru this but get thru it you will!!

Arldon · 17/04/2005 21:08

Hi Waily
Sorry I have not been in touch (I too have been in hospital) Back out today!!!!!! and very happy to be back with my family. I will try and give you an email tomorrow (and eves09). Please try and not to worry too much about chemo - everybody is individual in their reaction to it and each cycle can be very different. Unfortunately I am not having a good chemo but I know loads of other people who have had very different reactions. I certainly don't want to scaremonger - i know what that feels like and I am still positive in outlook! We are doing what we need to do but at same time are allowed to be scared and fed up and angry and every other bl!!y reaction under the sun
Anyway I will talk to you tomorrow - if you still want me too.
xx

dolally · 17/04/2005 21:49

Lots of love, hugs and strength to you too Arldon. I just read the other day that Olivia Newton John had a double mastectomy 13 years ago and is still going strong!

Original poster
waily · 22/04/2005 23:53

Thanks for your messages , hope youre feeling ok Arldon , it would be great to talk to you when youre feeling up to it.I met my oncologist on weds. and start chemotherapy on may 4 th. I now have to tell my daughters about it which is going to be really hard as life has just started to feel more normal this week with me resuming most of my maternal duties like taking them to school in the mornings instead of skulking about in my pyjamas !

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mcmum · 23/04/2005 18:58

WAILY,

Hello just caught this thread so very sorry to hear about what you are going through. My friend who has ds age 7 and dd age 2 found she had breast cancer 4 weeks ago, had lumpectomy last week but they found another tumour and she had to have a mastectomy on thursday. Her results came back from an mri and it showed further nodules ? in other breast so she needs to go again for further tests. Don't really know how I can help her it has been so sudden. I have looked after her little boy on sleepovers as he is friends with my own ds and have given chocs flowers magazines etc but feel a bit helpless can you give any suggestions on things i could do to help I have mentioned this site to her in the hope she will log on. Hope you are feeling well again soon xxxxx

hewlettsdaughter · 23/04/2005 19:40

waily, how much do your girls know already?

mcmum, best wishes to your friend. Know what you mean about feeling helpless. I guess just being there to listen when your friend wants to talk will be a big help.

Octopussy · 23/04/2005 19:47

Dear Waily

I feel useless but send loads of hugs to you. I guess you have many emotions and prob. would rather hear from someone who has been through what you are going through. My friend had breastcancer and masectomy 15 year's ago and is really fit and well and no more problems. Sending you hugs, prayers and thinking of you. will keep watching this site to hear how you are doing...
x

Original poster
waily · 23/04/2005 22:11

hi thanks again ! my girls basically know i ve had (strictly speaking that should probably be have )breast cancer altho i m not sure how much of that the 4 yr old can understand , my 8 yr old knows i ve had a mastectomy .I ve talked vaguely of having some special medecine but thats all so far, they both hate the fact that i ve had my hair cut short in readiness for chemo,they think i m trying to go back to my original colour and have had the coloured hair cut off for that purpose ! They both think i look like a boy ... with grey bits as i havent coloured it all year !Mc mum you sound like youre being a brilliant friend, the best things friends have done for me is offering specific help, like picking the girls up for me, rather than vague offers of anything i can do. I m not very good at asking for help altho i have got better and i m sure i will have to ask for help over the next 6 months.

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Evs09 · 24/04/2005 11:39

Hi Waily
Dont forget to ask whether you may fancy the cold cap when having your chemo. I wore it and kept my hair and maybe you will too. Its not the most enjoyable feeling this cold cap I have to say but it worked for me. Hey on a positive note I lost most of my other hairs & didnt have to shave my legs for a while.Cause I was pregnant too I couldn't reach those bits either... very handy.(Dd born perfect) If you do lose your hair there are some great wigs available now. Just before I started my chemo I got my wig ready. My hairdresser even suggested I have red hair extensions put into my wig to match my hair exactly as it was then. A few people I met simply prefered just wearing a baseball cap. Whatever happens you are getting the best treatment and tell yourself you HAD cancer and chemo is just an insurance

amynnixmum · 26/04/2005 10:59

Hi Waily,
Not been online for a while. So sorry that you've had such a tough time of it .

Mum is 1/2 way through her chemo now and is doing ok. She feels pretty rotten for the first week and then starts to feel better for the next 2 weeks until the next session.

My sister got her some special anti-sickness lollies that are designed for people having chemo. Mum says they have helped a lot when she's feeling sick. They only sell them in America apparently but I'll get the website address from her if you're interested.

Good luck for next week{{{hugs}}}

Original poster
waily · 28/04/2005 14:10

yes please they sound like an excellent idea and yes i am hoping to have the cold cap, i see the chemo nurse tomorrow so i will find out more. Any tips gratefully received !!thanks xx

OP posts:
Original poster
waily · 28/04/2005 14:10

yes please they sound like an excellent idea and yes i am hoping to have the cold cap, i see the chemo nurse tomorrow so i will find out more. Any tips gratefully received !!thanks xx

OP posts:
Original poster
waily · 28/04/2005 14:10

yes please they sound like an excellent idea and yes i am hoping to have the cold cap, i see the chemo nurse tomorrow so i will find out more. Any tips gratefully received !!thanks xx

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amynnixmum · 03/05/2005 11:42

Good Luck for tomorrow waily.
I'll be thinking of you{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

hewlettsdaughter · 03/05/2005 17:55

Is your chemo starting tomorrow waily? Good luck - hope it goes well.

Original poster
waily · 03/05/2005 19:50

yes its tomorrow ... thanks for all your messages of support and for the queasy pops advice, they sound really good .. they also do them for morning sickness ! i will let you know how i get on.

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dolally · 03/05/2005 22:38

Lots of love and strength to you for tomorrow. Hope it won't be too bad. And as someone said earlier on this thread, the chemo is just the insurance.

Evs09 · 04/05/2005 22:25

Hope all went well for you today. Thinking of you x.

Janh · 04/05/2005 22:28

Hope it went well today, waily! IME you will feel not too bad today and then crap for 2 or 3 days and then OK (ish) again. Let us know how it went for you

hewlettsdaughter · 05/05/2005 21:18

Arldon - if you are still looking at this thread - I hope your latest dose of chemo went ok too.