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Original poster

shock at breast cancer diagnosis today

138 replies

waily · 29/01/2005 00:53

I havent ever posted on here despite having been a member for a while, but i feel so shocked i just wanted to see if anyone could give me any advice. I m a 40 yr old mother of 2 girls 4 and 8, whose own mother died from breast cancer when she was 43, I had a mammogram 2 wks ago as family history screening, and was recalled today for a core biopsy and told i will need surgery and radiotherapy. I have talked briefly to one of my sisters and a long distance friend but do not want to talk to anyone close by in case it gets back to my daughters before I tell them myself.I have to see the surgeon next thurs and find out what / when things will happen. Can anyone help ? I have looked at some previous threads and at a couple of sites. Thanks.

OP posts:
honeyflower · 13/03/2005 19:26

So sorry Waily.

I know there are loads of good breast cancer resources out there, and people who are more expert than me will point you to the best ones. But I wanted to make sure you know about the writing that the poet/playwright/novelist Julia Darling has done about her experience of living with breast cancer. She has published a fantastic volume of poetry about it called 'Sudden Collapses in Public Places', and has a website at www.juliadarling.co.uk, which includes a very wonderful blog ('In Person').

Should warn you that Julia is very ill now, and the recent entries are not a good place for a newly diagnosed person to start. But the earlier stuff is very cheering - and she is still extraordinarily inspiring to even the rudely healthy (for now!) of us, not because she is 'brave' or any of that stuff, but because cancer or not, she has more capacity than just about anyone I've ever met to enjoy life.

Good luck.

Hulababy · 14/03/2005 17:35

So sorry to hear your news. Sorry Take care.

nikcola · 14/03/2005 17:35

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} xx

dolally · 15/03/2005 08:40

That's great news that your lymph nodes are clear, sorry to hear you've got to have the mastect. Stay brave, you'll beat this, lots of love and cyber hugs.

handlemecarefully · 15/03/2005 08:52

Waily,

Have just seen this thread (in Active conversations) for the first time. I've just read the whole lot and wanted to say how relieved I am for you that at least the cancer has not spread so the outlook is positive. I'm very sorry indeed though that you've had to go through (and indeed are still going through) all this trauma and worry. I hope the rest of your treatment (chemo) etc goes smoothly. Please keep us posted with how you are doing both physically and emotionally

hmc
xxx

hewlettsdaughter · 15/03/2005 20:24

oh waily, sorry they have to operate again - still, it's good that your lymph nodes are clear. hope you are getting good support at home xxx

hewlettsdaughter · 22/03/2005 10:08

waily how are you?

Original poster
waily · 22/03/2005 22:01

I m ok ,thanks not really looking forward to next tues but want to get it out of the way asap.I tried to go private but couldnt get a quicker appt at bupa which enraged me at the time.i will let you know how it goes.

OP posts:
winnie · 23/03/2005 15:59

Waily, I will be thinking of you next Tuesday. Good luck and best wishes, winniex

Marina · 23/03/2005 16:00

Waily, best of luck XXX

bubble99 · 23/03/2005 23:21

Thinking of you waily

XXXXX

Arldon · 24/03/2005 15:41

Hello Waily,
My friend has just told me about this website - (thanks Liz!). I too have breast cancer and am currently going through the chemo (then radio, then tamoxifen). It is so hard to accept what is happening to you and even harder to explain your feelings. The thing I have found really hard is that it is hard to meet women who are going through all this, who are the same age, with the same circumstances. I am 35 with a 2 1/2 year old so if you want to talk - I am here.
thinking about you.
x

late · 24/03/2005 16:02

just wanted to add my hug and wish you all the best too waily. Sorry I can't add more but glad to see that others have been able to respond helpfully for you.

Original poster
waily · 24/03/2005 21:31

thankyou again everyone, i ve just got back from seeing my consultant who i hadnt seen since my first op, she was actually quite nice today, i think she must have been to charm school since i last saw her. As usual i forgot to ask her all the important stuff but at least she knows that i want reconstruction at some stage, but not till after chemo and radio so probably not till next year. It is really nice to get all your messages on here and from those people who have contacted me via C A T, so thanks again.

OP posts:
Original poster
waily · 24/03/2005 21:44

Arldon , i just tried to send you a message via C A T but it says you dont want to be contacted this way, if you change your mind please let me know, i will try ? and save my message to you so i can send it later, does anyone know how to do this ?!

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 24/03/2005 21:51

Waily - nice to hear you sounding positive. And Arldon I hope you are feeling okay? I'm about the same age as you (36) with a 2.5 year old and it does make you think there but for the grace of god go I.

hewlettsdaughter · 24/03/2005 22:10

hugs to you both, waily and Arldon xxx

Arldon · 26/03/2005 09:56

Hi Waily
I do want to be contacted but not sure what I need to do - I know if I read instructions I will find this out but if anyone can help!!!!!!
I have just had another chemo so will need to rest most of day (Waily - don't worry (I know easy said!) about chemo you may have no side-effects at all (I know a few people who have had tiny effects) and if you do they do go away)- my use of brackets is making me very tired now!!
I will try and sort out this CAT thing later - Liz if you are on can you help?
Thanks to everyone for their good wishes.
x

KristinaM · 26/03/2005 10:03

Arldon - you need to go into "your member profile". Its just at the top of this page, at the bottom right of the light grey box. Above the little photo of the woman sitting with crossed legs, but on the right. Just click on that, sign in if you need to and follow the instructions.
HTH

JanH · 26/03/2005 11:09

Arldon, when you get the member profile page you need to click on the "mumsnet newsletters" link at the bottom, which will take you to email preferences where you can change your settings. (I think the default for new members must be No for contact another talker.)

hewlettsdaughter · 27/03/2005 20:09

Hope you are feeling ok Arldon. If you haven't sorted the CAT thing yet, the instructions already posted should help.
Is it tomorrow you go in for further surgery waily? Good luck

Original poster
waily · 27/03/2005 20:53

Arldon if its any use i didnt know what C A T was either and had to ask someone on here (Thanks) just because i m useless at computers ... getting better tho. Thankyou again everyone on here especially jan for your email.

OP posts:
JanH · 29/03/2005 11:32

It should be waily's second op today - hoping it all goes smoothly - one day at a time ! XXX

lyndap · 29/03/2005 11:43

Waily,
Just saw this thread just now and wanted to send a message of support. Hope things have gone as well as they could. Hugs to you and your family xx

Evs09 · 01/04/2005 23:04

Waily
So sorry to hear your news. If you need to talk let me know. I found out I had breast cancer March last year at 14 weeks preg. I had op ,chemo and radiotherapy and by far the worst of it all was the initial month.The biggest step is accepting you have cancer. Once you accept this I think you can then get on with it and start to get better. Now that you have had the op I hope that things will get easier for you as it did for me. My mother too died of breast cancer but treatment was different then. A year since my diagnosis I now realise that medical knowledge has improved so much even in the last 10 years. Eveyone is so different when it comes to chemo treatment but the thought of it is often worse than the treatment itself. Remember to eat well drink lots of water and try to stay poitive. I know its hard but it does help honest.I also changed to the dairy free diet. Have you read her book yet? Sending you lots of hugs xxxx

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