NEW THREAD FOR OJ - REST IN PEACE STEVE - STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR OJ AND THE CHILDREN

[Buda]

Hope this is ok - both other threads seem to be full or almost full now.

We are all thinking of you Jo.

Trifles and rum and bubbles at the ready.

You gave Tracey the time of to go and have her hair cut

Reckon that girl deserves lunch (KFC or Golden Arches?)

How on earth is it possible for you to make me PMSL today Jo?

You should make your "on hold" sketch a bit longer and sell it to the TV.

Some of these people are quite unbelievable. I remember when I went to register my Mum's death. I was told to sit and wait outside the office, then the Registrar appeared and said "ah you're here to register a birth".

Jo,

We had our trifle last night and raised a glass to Steve. am so sorry to hear about the inlaws, how disrespectful.

Lots of love and strength to you and the children. Good luck with the tax office...

Jo you are totally amazing. Your sense of humour and ability to find humour in the darkest times is a testament to how fab you are.

Thank you for sharing the email - it gave a lovely flavour of the day. You really did Steve proud. Can't say the same for his family unfortunately. But they have done nothing but let themselves down throughout so really why should we expect any different now?

hugs to you all, so glad funeral was how you wanted it to be.

Sorry about your In laws

what a lovely email Oj.You seem to have some very good mates,they must realise you are a special person too.I hope you have had a good day today and that you get all your paperwork sorted out.To Tracy you are a brilliant friend for oj to have in her corner.wish there were more around like you in this world.

So glad you have such lovely friends OJ. You sound like an amazing person.

Jo, that e-mail from your friend was fantastic! What a tribute to you, the kids Tracey and all the others who were there to support you. Reading it I felt as if I had been there myself. It was very touching.

Don't you just love the tax credit people. Everything is very black & white. Glad you were able to see the lighter side in it all . Hope you are able to get through the paperwork as fast as possible. Love to you & the kids. xxx

Hi Jo, thanks for sharing that email. It was so visually descriptive and written with such humour and sensitivity.

I'm so glad you were so well supported in RL as well as virtually.

I had Songbird as my wedding song, it's utterly beautiful.

I am reeling at the thought that people can kick off at a funeral - gah ! lovely that he had a bamboo coffin too.
Hope you are doing ok today OJ - I ate trifle for my tea in honour of Steve.

love to you all. xx

i have just been catching up on the different threads and spotted this posted by strictmachine
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

that was one of the poems that we had during the service.

it has been a phonecall and paperwork day, i have had to tick boxes that say i am a widow and give steves date of death, all quite hard and not easy to get used to thou in time i guess i will.
tracey and i enjoyed sitting out in the pub garden and having some lunch which was a nice change to being at home all the time.
i am off to the doctors in the morning.

OJ, so glad you enjoyed some quality time with Tracy at the pub. It must be strange to be able to just go out without worrying about Steve.
That is a lovely poem and sums up that although we have grief we should allow ourselves to move forward and enjoy life. This is what Steve would want for you all from what you have told us about him.
thinking of you
xxxxx

just when i thought his family had gone away i got a text from steves sister.

she says...... steve came to me in a dream he was radiant he told me that
you cant hurt him or us anymore. he told me that there is life beyond this
world he walked into the light with his dogs and gran and grandad don't
worry i wont contact you again, i just wanted u to know he is safe and free
u can answer to him when its your turn to go.

what do i do?

Ignore it.

I had a mad aunt who claimed my (at the time) recently deceased father had appeared to her, which was somewhat upsetting but best not to dignify with a response I feel.

leave them oj, they are clearly barking

agree best not to respond - find it really hard to understand why ILs are so insensitive and unkind to you though . they are truly weird . description of the funeral by your friends very moving xx

So sorry you're having to deal with this OJ. I agree with the others don't do anything they are not worth the effort. You know everything you have done for Steve, they are the ones who will have to answer to him when it's their time.

I agree it might be a good idea to change your number you don't need this.

xx

i will ignore her but i will speak to debs tomorrow and the SW

OJ would it be possible to delete their numbers from your phone? That way they could still text, but you possibly would be aware it was a number you didn't recognise and could get someone to delete any texts before you read them? Or if necessary change your number?

Definitely ignore it. So sorry that you are having to go through these difficulties with them after all you have been through.

I have never been through a difficult time like you are experiencing, but I have received "unwanted" texts and calls in the past. I make full use of caller display (on landline and mobile) and if a certain person is calling I never answer and never listen to the voicemails.

Block her number, OJ.
This woman is unbelievable.

oh dear god OJ Steve's sister has a screw loose.

I'd try really hard not to respond. It would be nice to be able to shove her phone up her backside, bit no response is probably better.

Sorry you're having to put up with that sort of crap.

omg I'm and at that text.

Delete it.

Thinking of you.

Ah love the message to Ch's from J. She has a way with words Glad the 4 of them went Jo (I was overun with emails so am web only at the moment).