Just had a + pg test. How the hell did this happen?

[BlaDeBla]

I've got a coil in, which was only checked a couple of weeks ago. I'm on anti depressants and on drugs for colitis. I've had a mastectomy for breast cancer and I'm middle aged (In my early 40s).

I am shocked, to say the least and I don't know what to do or what to think. Dh is out, so I haven't told him yet. He will go white I expect. He will not be pleased.

I've had a coil for years without any problems and I thought I was possibly a bit menopausal, not bloody pregnant. Don't know what to think. NOt a good situation.

Is it at all possible you are menopausal and not pg?
I only suggest this as positive pg tests can happen at the onset of menopause...

I don't think I'm menopausal. My boobs are expanding and I'm getting fat. Normally I would have my period and shrink back again! I did look up an interesting link about menopause and pos pg tests. Thank you for the advice!

At the lymphodema clinic they will be able to help me with my swollen hands, and show me how to keep it under control. I'm not so sure about the fluid on my back since that's a result of the operation. I may have to see the team in London who have been dealing with my bc.

have you never heard the joke about coils

the baby comes out waving it!!

thats how good people think the coil is!! (or isnt!!)

I'm just bored and fed-up. We've been looking for places to live which has been a nightmare with 2 kids and 2 dogs. We've found a little cottage pretty much in the middle of nowhere we know, but there's enough space, a woodburning stove and a garden big enough for a climbing frame. The local school is close by too. I hope we are going to be happy there!

Poor dh has been through the mill over the past year, what with my diseases, mad family and now this. I hope that moving will make him feel better.

I suggested a sweepstake as to which of my local relatives would get carted off first .

My mum said she would talk to her doctor about my dad's lunatic behaviour. If history is anything to go by, when we're out of the way he will turn on her. He's been sending batty letters to my cousin (his landlord) as well.

I'm beginning to feel a bit sick, and really feel like knocking back a lot of gin. I am very confused about this, and although it is a medical thing, I just hope the decision is made for me.

How are you, Ruby?

Hahahaha!!! I hadn't heard that joke about the coil!

I'm absolutely pro safe abortions, but I absolutely agree with you that there should be very very good reasons. It's not a trivial decision and the effects can cause psychological damage.

I love house-hunting too, but it is very dull looking at rental properties that are bathed in beige - top to bottom, front to back. Ideally we would have wanted somewhere that we could decorate and somewhere with very basic floors. Just about everywhere has wall-to-wall carpets all throught the house. It's completely bonkers,I think to walk into the house from a muddy garden, onto a carpet, and stupid to have a dining room carpeted in beige when it is the only place in the house to eat.

Sadly the village has no shop and no pub. I am not churchy (my dad's a mad vicar), but it may be a way of meeting people.

Yes, we've been looking at Rightmove avidly!

Our house in London is rented at the mo. We were thinking about selling because we found this fabulous delapidated farmhouse (which we wouldn't be able to afford to do up, much), but our managing agents advised us against putting our house on the market for all the reasons in the news.

Our house in London is also a funny one - no-one knows how much it would sell for as we built it ourselves with the help of an architect. It was built as a Victorian artisans workshop with a back yard.

We are under huge pressure to move. Sadly my dad is behaving in his (normal for me) mad way and is very threatening and abusive. I have told him (think of bridges sizzling before they collapse) that his behaviour is totally unacceptable and that he will not be allowed to see his grandchildren again and that his behaviour simply makes life not worth having. Sadly all true.

Womens Aid are being fantastic; I really hope I don't have to go to the police and prosecute. Yes, we are under pressure to move!!

Great new name!

how far along do you think you are bla? do you have much time to decide?

have to agree with ruby here.... normally very anti abortion unless there are extremely extenuating circumstances but you sound like you have so much on your plate already both physically and emotionally. and added to that the health risks to the baby from the coil and your meds. such a horrible position to be in, my heart really goes out to you.

that cottage sounds divine, country life is so good for kids. you won't know yourselves with all that fresh air and green grass around you

I like having shops too, and a big garden! I know what you mean about house porn. It's all great fun if you have enough money. Our budget dried up totally and we lived in total chaos for a very very long time. It was a far cry from Grand Designs!

We've found a little cottage to move into. I hope it's going to be ok. It's big enough for all of us, just, and it has a big front garden. It feels a bit exposed to have a front garden rather than a back garden and we will have to make it dog-proof. It also has a patch at the back which is a bit grim, but is good for growing veg, or if we could be allowed, keeping a few chickens. The local school is about less than 1/2 mile away but the pub and the shops are further.

When we were building our house, we were really saying that people should NOT DO THIS AT HOME! It was very hard work on our relationship and for about 3 years we had nowhere to put anything and everything was always dirty. For the 1st 18 months, we had 2 outside loos and a horrid drippy tap inside. We were heated by a giant hairdryer on the wall . We were living in the house at the same time which added to the chaos!

Thanks!. Well,we'll find out tomorrow what on earth is going on.

My mum phoned today - I haven't told her about this - and she was really upset that my dad has been saying horrible things about me. I said that he's always been like this, and that his behaviour is criminal. I will speak to WA prob next week and find out what is possible to do. I think he is clinically insane and really needs a psychiatrist to look at him. I don't think it's normal to tell your kids that they're rubbish, and nobody will want them and that they're useless and unemployable and fat... Then laugh about it, then hit them because your bike has fallen over, and then, when there's nothing else to do, to write abusive letters.

My mum was shocked that he has behaved so badly. I don't think she thought that people could be that awful, but seems to think that his violence is normal She is not from a mad violent family herself.

hope your ok bladebla

another one here for you, you've got a lot on your plate...

keep posting

ssdxxx

good luck for today

Thank you!

No real news yet and I have to go back next week. This is pretty horrible. If I hadn't done a sodding pg test, I would just assume that I had missed a period and the next one to come along would be just that. But no, I've already had a scan that confirms nothing at all apart from a pregnancy. The gynae was totally non-commital about everything and just confirmed what I already knew. He said it was too early to detect a heart-beat or not, so I have to go back next week for another scan. Dh doesn't want any more children - he already has 5. Before bc diagnosis & colitis, I may have been up for it. Now Idon't know what to think.

The gynae said nothing about anything apart from that the pregnancy had started in the right place. There was no mention of the effects of my drugs and potions, or any health implications for me, so still, I am in limbo. He thought it may be as early as 5 weeks, which would either mean I ovulated very late in that cycle or that the beginning has already ended. I felt as though I was already asking for an abortion, but it was as though it was not even an option.

He said it would make no difference if my coil were removed now or later, at least for now.

I really hope this man is not a heavy pro-lifer . I fear I am beginning to sound like a foetus murderer.