It's my parsley and I'll cry if I want to - 10/10 thread. All welcome!

[pinkspottywellies]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

yes please email but no scariness
I googled and took the best part of a week to get over it
I know I mustn't do anything with my legs apart

you don't sound bigheaded btw!

I think we need a new title for Monday

do we have any waiting in the wings or did we work through those ones?

thank you
[square?]

No angles??

Franny - whatever you do, do not make yourself into an isosceles or an equilateral!

Titles - Hmm....

Morning all.

Stuffit, I'm so glad party was fab. Sorry for gloom Franny.

Sorry Slur, I missed your post yesterday. Thing is houses, or flats with own gardens, just cost so much over here because they are at an absolute premium. We are in a very nice - not posh at all but convenient and nice - area (sort of semi-suburbs) and have a pretty but only-just-big-enough period flat. If we wanted a private garden plus enough space to live in on our income we'd have to go to a really quite horrid area. We may well have to leave here in 2010, too, when dh finishes his doctorate, so the question is akways is there a point in moving?

dh and ds1 have gone out for a boyish adventure. I was supposed to be going to church wuith ds2 but reached the underground station, running very late, thought 'ah no' and, very unholily, have come home. Have put on a nice top and had lovely coffee (and apple juice and veg bread abd banana - 3) and am going to potter on the balcony and get the potatoes ready for lunch and do the 5-year thing.

Stuffit - that was such a lovely post, thank you

Bero - I don't really know what to say except that I hope everything starts sorting itself out and looking clearer. It's so hard when you are considering umpteen issues at the same time, isn't it?

Franny, I wonder if a square cushion would help....
Actually, would having something squashy in your knickers help? I used to find a soft, thick sanitary towel quite comforting on bad period days. Sort of supportive softness.

It is tricky isn't it, Berolina, balancing space with area and so on. We have a garden but our house is a narrow terrace and quite dark with poky rooms. This is a nice area with good schools and leafy parks etc but you can't help thinking how big a house you can get for the same money somewhere else. At least you have the botanics, spending time in a green space is important even if having a garden would be your ideal.

Toot - I have been thinking about your dilemma.
I would probably go back to the teacher and tell her that despite her telling you there is no problem, you are telling her that there is one and you are seeing the consequences of this at home. Lots of children seem ok to the teacher, you must keep flagging it up.

I would come down very hard on the violence, maybe that aspect is different to other advice but you need to protect ds2 from it, and yourself, and if becomes a habit then he will only get bigger and stronger. You do not want to be afraid of your own son. On the other hand, I agree with the others and I would work very hard on his self confidence and what causes him to feel this way and assure him that although you will not accept that behaviour, you are completely sympathetic to the feelings that cause it, he is allowed to feel rage etc, he just cannot express it by hurting others. There must be another outlet. He works on changing this, then you will help him work on changing things that he would perceive to improve his life.

And then to your dp, he has a responsibility to support you through this and he must be made to understand the consequences of his not being there for ds1 at the moment. It is, like 100 says, a crucial age for boys and identification. He needs to do more than eat meat. He needs to do something with him, spend time and find common interests. In soome ways it is like you are having to deal with two children. Poor you. You must impress on your dp the negative effect this will have on the family if he doesn't buck up and sort it out.

Sometimes dd really annoys ds1 and he kind of shoves past her and I even get cross with that. I know your two are closer in age and the occasional elbow or even whack is probably always going to happen but continued hard thumping? No no no.

Oh thank you MrsC. I need to come up with a plan and act upon it. I must think.
You are very wise too

Have only skimmed last nights veg chat.

Toots sorry you're having a hard time. It's easy to get stumped sometimes isn't it. Violence is the one thing that I do come down quite hard on. I think a bit of sibling wrestling and elbowing is very normal and actually not really a problem, but actual hurting and thumping is. I have to protect dd2 from dd1 lashing out - she can get very very angry sometimes, and dd is little and gets flattened fairly often. DD1 understands that this has actual consequences every time. It can be losing out on something she wanted to do, or sometimes going upstairs and coming down when she can apologise and play nicely. I know they're younger and so it's different, but I guess you need a plan that you stick to and are very consistent and get your dp in on it too.

MrsC, hope you're feeling ok and calm. Found any good books yet?

Tnogu - sorry, I don't know how I missed your post earlier. Thank you. That book sounds good, a little like The Life Of Pi, is it? I liked that book. I know what you mean about the thread, someone else has replied but I didn't really want to bump it again, maybe it was fear of any more HERS type posts. I did look at that. I couldn't help it. It wasn't helpful.

It wasn't a wise post, Toot, it was a muddled post that sort if re-hashed everything that had been said. I guess my summary would be, yes, you must help him and address his feelilngs and find stuff he likes but I don't think this can include a softly approach to the thumps as this is at the expense of the other dcs therefore unfair and likely to build resentments in them and certainly learned behavour in the younger ones. What a tricky time. He needs to like himself. That is important.

Hi Boco, Tnogu has suggested one but I haven't looked much tbh. How is you stinging?

Right, 3 men in a boat good but 3 men on the bummel better imo.

is that a real book, Toot?

How is your stinging obviously

good morning my tiles are still on te wall but not very brilliant i have to get more grout of course the two worst are the ones that needed to be the best as they are the ones that needed to be level so the door wont leak through a gap hopefully this can be fixed with that miracle product silicone

tiling the floor is going to be a big challenge

toot i think low self esteem and fifficulty expressing feelings leads to aggression

i am not very good at the helpful ideas tho

but i think unconditional love came in somewhere even when it was hard

but consistency is also important

my ds had an angry and aggressive father tho

Yes it is. I'll dig it out - you can borroiw it if you like

and toot tell me if you think i have picked the best t shirt design

MrsC I think you may find the book fairy will send you that book
she was feeling a little stumped so thanks Tnog, and sorry for lack of surprise but it is too good a choice for me not to jump on

as you were

oh thank you to everyone who said encouraging things about ds
I feel a bit awkward discussing it as dp is so very good and works very hard to make life nice for us, so feels disloyal to moan
I shall have another think
when I mention it dp takes it as criticism, though, so it is hard to talk about it

Oh MrsC I knew you would look - did you watch that whole 12 min film thing! You should have believed us - not helpful. I really hated that HERS person. That's the first time I've ever reported a post and asked for something to be deleted.

TooT 3 men on the bummel is quite funny but the only really good bit IMO is the bit about the comic German songs

whereas I can think of about 6 really really funny bits in 3 men and a boat, most especially the cheese and the tin of pineapple heh hee hee

I have never heard of those books, I shall await the fluttering of leafy wings.

Boco - I know, I know, but it was so hard. I thought HERS must be the organisation and looked it up. I sort of narrowed my eyes in case something awful popped up. I didn't see a video just lots of stats about unnecessaryy hysterectomies and women reporting horrible side effects, like painful clitoris, never acheiving orgasm again, complete loss of libido, months and years or perpetual exhaustion, depresssion, ovarian cancer, incontinence that sort of thing. It has made me
waver I have to admit. I am going to the docotr in the morning.

MrsC anyone can put what they want on a website
it doesn't mean the information is balanced or even correct
I am sure there ARE unwanted side effects of hysterectomy reported in some cases but that website had a very clear agenda, was not giving an objective viewpoint, and the fact is your health is going to be protected by this op

we could make an anti-childbirth website if we wanted and show how many women die in childbirth each year etc etc
it wouldn't mean not having children was a sensible thing to do