It's my parsley and I'll cry if I want to - 10/10 thread. All welcome!

[pinkspottywellies]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

i have spent afternoon sitting on a heat pad as my fanjo ruddy hurts
ds is an arse every time dp looks after him - it is driving me mad - every ruddy weekend we have non stop faffing, whining, rudeness
they just can't seem to get on and it would be more relaxing and restful for me to just do all the childcare as they are both such a PITA to be around

Gosh it has been absolutely glorious weather here. I'm sorry to those who may not have had it.

Unfortunately I have spent most of the day doing housework, laundry, ironing and crap because we are out for the day tomorrow and stuff ahs been building up.

And I sorted out a load of clothes.

Does anyone have a need for a pair of Clarks boys shoes size 9.5 G? They are winter ones but DS hardly wore them at all before he grew out of them.

The pavlova is a veritable Mount Vesuvious of cream and fruit.

I haven;t dared take it off the tin I cooked it on though so will arrive at friends house tomorrow with it on tin and we'll have to eat it off that...

I'm sure they won;t mind

Am sitting with doors to garden open, it's lovely

umg i remember that franny

yiou are indispensable

exh used to get irritated slap someone then shout im bottom of the heap round here thats it im going out

that would be about 11am on saturday

he would reappear about 6 am on sunday

or maybe abvout 8 oclock on sat night and fall into a drunken stupor on the sofa having shouted at everyone or been ridiculously incoherent and disgustingly sloppy yuk

subnday repeat saturday

Franny why don;t they get on do you think?

DS behaviour is different with DH.

With me, DS tends to be pretty calm, unless he's in a particulalry excitable mood.

Often teh reverse with DH.

oh dear it is very unfair as dp is really good and tries hard and is kind and looks after me and is very patient and active with ds
but it has been the last 3 or 4 weekends and I am so fed up with them both
they just end up bickering and ds not doing as he is told and dp doesn't seem to have any firm consistent way of dealing with it
on Monday morning ds back to being reasonable and helpful - possibly he is scared of me? I don't know I am shouty if annoyed and will absolutely be firm and insist on reasonable type behaviour if I want to
maybe the only time he can let it out is with dp
it's driving me mad, I am stuck here trying to have a rest and tbh feeling quite sore and listening to this crap all the time

they really do like each other and ds always disappointed when it is a daddy work day
but this constant ruddy rudeness and bickering AAAARGH

next weekend could he go out somewhere with him

yes they do
but there is breakfast time
and getting dressed time
and tea time
and bed time
oh dear god
they need to go and stay in a hotel somewhere don't they? and bicker to their hearts content

maybe you need a hoterl ,somewhere

Oh dear Franny, that sort of thing is exhausting, isn't it? Hope your bits feel better soon as well.
Why were you not all watching Doctor Who? It is the only programme I watch. I am liking it more and more.

Fmf - I can't see your email
It has arrived but there is nothing in it

I have eaten pizza.

how odd! I've resent it in a different format. I've no idea what that means but it sounded right

I have it the other way round. Dh looks after DD once in a while... when I evetnually come home expecting him to be angry, stressed, drunk - which is what I tend to be after a week of looking after her on my own, they are both happy as Larry, chilling, playing, snoozing togther. Grr.

Have had an OSM day. Picked old bf from bus station, went to special bacon butty place by the harbour. Went to fishmonger, walked round park with can of lager and let DD run riot with the digs. Went to the gym with BF1 and BF2, swam, ate, sauna etc etc whilst DH looked after DD.

Came home, prepared tasty fishy items for BBQ, ate fishy items. All successful.

Now going out with BF1 and BF2 to nearby boozer with skittle ally and drunken friends.

All is well.

evening!
i have had tomatos.. thats it today woops!
how are you all today?

Is BF best friend or boy friend? Also does best friend 2 know she is best friend 2 and does she actually want to best friend 1?

I am thinking TooT. And I am sympathizing. It is very tiring to live with angsty cross hitting people. I don't know. See, this is when I do consequences - and lots of people don't like those. So if ds1 hits ds2 or there 'is violence' I take a screen off him for a week. And he knows I will. And I started doing this when he was being super hitty, and it did stop. And I did also do all the 'it's okay to be cross' stuff, but actually you know what - it's really not okay to go round hitting and kicking people. I got tough.

On the other hand - he is not the first brother in the world to whack his brother, right? It doesn't make you a bad mum. It makes you tired.

So I would come down HARD on the acts of violence inflicted on other people but not the anger in itself. I would also make those two things clear in his head.

And I'd talk too much and then they'd all hate me. But you may hate consequences and things, in which case I might not be much good.

Oh and the usual stuff I suppose. Time away from each other, clear boundaries. God I don't know, last time ds1 was being an arse, I got him to dig a hole fgs.

Actually, you know mostly I sympathize because it is hard to live with and exasperating and ds1 and ds2 do drive me mad too. DS2 gets cross, but he doesn't hurt people and that is easier.

Also - Boco, sorry to hear about rash and hair and stinging (is this stuff supposed to work? Has it worked?)

Yes, that stinging sounds dreadful, hope it's all off and better now or do you have to leave it on overnight?

oh avi that would be good hopefully i will be abl e to do something tho i bet you have to be registered

tho it will mean i should know something about it...

i have to do these tiles and i dont fel like it

diy is such an effort

don't do them now, Zippi! You should be putting your feet up with a drink. There is, um, what is on, Casualty and Pushing Daisies? TV is crap tonight. Read a book instead.

i have to do them now cos the plumber is coming in the am to fit the door on top of them it is my fault i am doing them now

dd1 will go mad if she comes in and sees me which obvs she will

100x - I could do consequences, but they are difficult to enforce. Say I denied him television, what is to stop him coming and watching when somebody else is? This is a small house and I don't just want to send him away upstairs. Although I have been known to send him up for brief spells, and say, "I don't want to see you", after hittings.
And, you know, he is getting bigger and I am not large. He pushed me earlier, which is not good, is it?
And it's also the habitual stuff - (how the hell did it start?) of just kicking dd1 or ds2 as he walks past. I feel as is I spend most of my life hearing, "Mum" Ds1 hit/kicked me!"
and bloody too
But useless it seems.

Hello lovely veggers

I've been for a run. And planted seeds. And done lots of dull but important house things. I am knackered.

F&V: Spinach & Ricotta Lasagne (I'll count it as two - lots of toms and spinach), banana. Hmmm. Must find more food.

I guess you do need to enforce them, or find enforcable ones. Agree, kicking you far from idea.

You know part of the problem of all this is that then you start feeling YOU are being heavy, about their heavy behaviour and round and round you go.

How about dp? There is that moment when really it is okay (I think) for Dad to step in and talk it out. In a 'manly' way.

I wonder what's eating him TooT?

Thing is, it's all that casual kicking like you say that gets everyone down, you too. And it's all boring to boot.

I think we need to find some consequences, that you bloody well stick to, and are tough about. And do the two-pronged approach about what's getting to him and making him cross? Though actually, I find the latter a bit hard, because sometimes they just 'do' don't they?

Also the 'I don't want to see you' not quite right - but GOD KNOWS I understand why you've said it. It just enforces the 'you are a pain' thing and then he behaves like a pain etc. Though he probably is a pain. . .

Can he be in the kitchen? TBH if you give good warning about the new 'consequences' regime, then just say 'no telly tomorrow' and stand at the door?

I feel bad talking about consequences on the 10/10 thread. Perhaps MrsC and others will have ideas too?