Having hysterectomy next week for early cancer and panicking about silly things. Tell me not to be stupid.

[MrsCarrot]

I had loop diathermy recently for an abnormal smear test and it turns out it is early cancer, really early, stage 1A1 adenocarcinoma. The consultant tells me a hysterectomy is curative, I shouldn't need chemotherapy, as long as there isn't a further developed lesion after biosy but that would be rare. I go in next Friday but I am getting really anxious about everything, even stupid things.

Mostly I am worried about ds2 (15 months) who still breastfeeds at night, I have bought a bottle for DH to give him some milk but still, he is unlikely to be impressed. But I keep going over pointless things like the anesthetic, what if I don't come round or what if I come round during the op and can't tell them. What if I get a hospital aquired infection, how will I feel about asking everyone if they've washed their hands. I run through little scenarios several times a day thinking how I can keep asking without them thinking I'm awkward.

I know it's my right to check, I know I shouldn't be obsessing about it, I know ds will survive four days without me, I know dh will cope with all three, I know I am unlikely to get MRSA or die during the op but My God, I cannot stop all of these thoughts. I am freaking out and I now it is probably displaced stress, only found out a few weeks ago so am still shocked I expect but I can't seem to calm down about it.

Anyone experienced this, weird panics before an op, or had a hysterectomy? Am also terrified of how I will feel after, though they are not taking the ovaries so I won't have the menopause and I have had three children, you don't expect this at 30. I keep saying pull yourself together and get on with it but the anxiety is immense some days.

ex pat is your hossie bag like a boarding school trunk?

Nothing to add Mrs C, but didn't want to pass your thread without sending you my best wishes. FWIW my friend is an anaesthetist and sees his job as much looking after people pre and post op as in theatre itself. You are young and fit and will not get a post op infection. Once you have recovered from the op, you will bounce back to health.

Take care and all the best.

Nothing to add Mrs C, but didn't want to pass your thread without sending you my best wishes. FWIW my friend is an anaesthetist and sees his job as much looking after people pre and post op as in theatre itself. You are young and fit and will not get a post op infection. Once you have recovered from the op, you will bounce back to health.

Take care and all the best.

oh, yes, i do!

it all fits into my holdall, which is this one mybelovedduffle

i've had it for about a decade and it's going strong.

i bring a chain and bike lock in case it doesn't fit in the bedside cupboard and there is no wardrobe, because i'm not going without.

Hi Mrs Carrot. I had major surgery for cancer in December (more advanced than yours) and I was very scared in the run-up.

Do you have a specialist nurse? Macmillan or otherwise? She should be able to answer a lot of these questions. I wouldn't hesitate to ask for counselling. I had instant ovarian failure from radiotherapy and that was a bit grim but I honestly feel, six months later, that I have come to terms with my early menopause and infertility. I have talked about it a lot - I choose my moments and people - and my friends have been great.

I agree that all those horrible drugs can make you constipated but I wouldn't hesitate to use movicol. I had problems (pre op, with treatments) that trust food methods couldn't cope with and he movicol was very gentle.

You'll get a visiting physio soon after your op. Make sure you quiz them about all the things you need to do. The ones in the ward are probably only there to get you moving post op but they can give you guidance about other exercises you'll need as you get better.

Our hospital doesn't allow flowers any longer, so check that before you go in.

Ipod essential, as are your choice of relaxing mags and books. I'd also take an eye mask, ear plugs, a sports top water bottle for sipping when you are feeling too feeble to hold a cup without spilling, a nice spray for your face, a small soft towel (hospital ones are rank), and moisturiser. Mobile phone and charger.

I got very anxious after my pre-op assessment. After two sleepless nights I went to my GP who issued sleeping pills. And what d'y'know? I slept fine without opening the packet .

Do you know any relaxation techniques? I'm currently getting help with these from a specialist cancer centre.

Mrs C - an ex gynae nurse here, now work in different area. Just wanted to wish you all the best. When you go through the admission process, mention to your nurse about your anxieties re handwashing. Staff these days are VERY hot on doing it, but it will help you if you can SEE they are doing it, so tell them that. I'm completely with expat on the constipation and pain relief advice! Also be aware that you may have trapped wind afterwards - just let it go! I remember one christmas eve, working a night shift with a bay full of trumping ladies - we laughed so much!
Sending love, and wishing you all the best for a speedy recovery. Please come back on to post and let us know how you're doing xx

Hi ThingOne - sorry to hear that but pleased you are feeling better. Was it cervical or ovarian cancer that you had?

I don't have a specialist nurse, I wonder if they are only offered to people needing treatment other than surgery?

More useful things to take in, everything that is mentioned I think, yes, I need that. I will need a beloved duffle at this rate!

Lol, headgirl, a ward full of trumping ladies? How fragrant.

Just tuck them into your travel bag.

You might be very sluggish and sleepy the first day - after the op.

Sometimes it takes a day or two for that tiredness to hit.

I second the physio after you're discharged!

REALLY helped me, but of course, my big surgeries were all on my knees.

Nothing to add MrsC but just wanted to send my best wishes. Hope you get some support from Macmillan or whatever you need. Take care.

I had rectal cancer which you're not meant to get under 50 if you eat veg . So eat crisps, folks, and who gives a damn. I've got a secondary on my liver which means more surgery, hence working on relaxation now.

As I had bowel surgery (and lap-assisted) I had lots of trapped wind. I did a lot of walking around and drank lots of peppermint tea. To my astonishment they didn't have peppermint tea on the ward and it was a specialist ward so we all had wind problems of some sort! I had taken some of my own and got it replenished frequently.

The drugs trolley on the ward also had some peppermint oil but nobody ever offered it. I saw it, and knowing my mum had it prescribed, asked for it. Some of the nurses had clearly never given it. It's pretty much the best thing for this kind of wind.

I was bemused the NHS was missing out on two such cheap treatments, lol.

Oh I see, I assumed you meant cervical or ovarian because of the ovaries but the radiotherapy for the rectal caused them to fail. Very sorry to hear that. I hope your relaxation goes well and good luck with the next surgery.

I'm a nursey too so on a practical note I would say:

Take towels and pillows - hospitals rarely have towels (certainly not bath sized ones) and pillows are awful, you might as well sleep on a brick.

Some hospitals won't allow flowers in vases or pot plants, or your own electrical equipment. Take battery operated stuff if needed eg portable DVD player. Much cheaper than paying for the TV!

Drink gallons - hospitals are very warm and that increases headaches, constipation and discomfort.

Take painkillers regularly, don't wait for pain as then you are playing catch up.

Peppermint oil is fab - mix with hot water to shift wind. (ThingOne - I used to work on an abdo surgery ward and we gave every man and his dog a hot mix! [peppermnt oil in hot water])

Remember some thick pads - even after a hysterectomy you can bleed vaginally and hospital pads aren't too comfy.

Wishing you all the very best (and you too ThingOne, fingers crossed for your next surgery).

i work on a gynae ward and i run a pre-op assesment clinic for ladies just like yourself.

you may pick my brains if you have any questions.

i can even give you my best pre-op talk if you'd like (it's long though)

i second the take the pain killers regularly and the peppermint oil, although where i work we keep that as stock so ask at your pre-op!

constipation is a potential problem thanx to the pain relief so do take any thing that helps you... but avoid a high fibre diet the 1st couple of days as the wind can gripe (thats where the peppermint oil comes in)

my mum is in the process of surviving "terminal" bladder cancer (3 yrs and counting) - I recognise much of what you say as what she used to say to me. It really wasn't about the individual small things that she got anxious about but about a general feeling of anxiety and being out of control, of feeling that things were fine five minutes ago and suddenly they're not, so what else could go wrong? I think is normal (for a cancer patient!) and in time you learn ways to deal wit it, however it sounds like its appening to you so fast (obviously great medically) tat you aven't ad time to learn any coping strategies. Support from cancer groups can be excellent but isn't for everyone, you might just find a friend or acquaitance who had a similar experience just as helpful.

I'm not sure if any of that is really helpful. How are your family dealing with it?

Oh you poor thing

When I had my 2nd operation (1st was to have tumour and ovary removed, 2nd was to have a load of adhesions removed, but originally they thought it was another tumour) I had counselling provided by the hospital cancer centre and it helped SO MUCH. they would get any questions answered, however small, as well as let me talk about it all - this was pre children; I was 27 and terrified that I wouldn't be able to have any. First time round though, I found that they dismissed a lot of my concerns, I didn't know what was going on and it was very, very frigtening. I didn't even know my tumour was actually classed as a cancer until I read my notes whilst the doc was out of the room at a subsequent checkup and then was referred to the cancer centre next time round. And you too ThingOne

that was a very long winded way of saying, please don't be me first time around and don't worry about 'bothering' anyone. And try to find out if the hospital offers any counselling because it was invaluable. You've had great advice on here too, good luck with it all

oops something went a bit wrong there! meant to say good luck to you too, ThingOne

MrsJC - That sounds awful, thank goodness you were able to go on and have children. I do feel lucky about that, so many of my friends haven't had children yet and the prognosis was not so good if I tried more cone biopsy instead of hysterectomy. In the first week, when I didn't know surgery was curative, I wondered if it was best to already have children if you might not be there for them but then I thought all sorts of things. It was a dark week and things brightened a lot after seeing the consultant.

I can't believe you read it yourself on your notes, that must have been horrible. When you say surgery for adhesions, do you mean the scar tissue adhered to other organs?

Kewcumber - That is exactly it. I couldn't articulate it but that is how it is, the general anxiety applies to everything and though people say something is rare, I was told an abnormal smear being cancer was very rare. So you think if I have this rare thing then why can't I get another rare thing.

Sorry, that was a lot of 'rares'! My family are coping well, the children don't know but DH is being great, despite having no parents left, his mother died of cancer two years ago. He was down there finishing things to do with the family house when I got this news. He is very supportive. It is our first wedding anniversary tomorrow and we are having a night away tonight (with ds2) in our honeymoon hotel. I am looking forward to it, there is a jacuzzi. I was really pleased the op date was just after the anniversary.

Sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like she's doing really well though, best of luck.

Saralou - is the hospital food likely to be high in fibre? I am not looking forward that I must say, though I quite like aeroplane food. Also, I have to ring the ward to check if there's a bed on the day, is there a high chance of emergencies in a gynae ward? I suppose you can't tell really, must vary from place to place.

Sidge - take my own pillows? I am going to need a trunk at this rate. Maybe if there isn't a bed available I can offer to take my own.

You are all being very kind. I do feel a bit better today.

'Also, I have to ring the ward to check if there's a bed on the day, is there a high chance of emergencies in a gynae ward? I suppose you can't tell really, must vary from place to place.'

Not usually.

Hopefully you'll have your surgery on the day, have lovely staff who help you with your concerns and get on the road to recovery soon!

That should be the least of my worries shouldn't it, I am sure it will be fine too though I wasn't so bright at 4am. I think I better start planning my bag or getting a list from this thread.

Do you have some nice uplifting books to read?

Um, the other half of The Gathering, After You'd Gone by Maggie 'O' Farrell, Jose Saramago's All The Names... probably not the most uplifting next-to-read list, no!

magazines are great post-op, because they require very little concentration, which is in short supply after surgery.

the trashier, the better!

No.
Why don't you take a trip to Waterstones and choose some funny light uplifting reading. It's taken six months to read the first half of the gathering, it becomes more of a chore than a pleasure to get it finished. I'll have a look and see if I can find anything you might like. It's such a luxury to be able to lie and read uninterrupted by children - you might find it quite relaxing.

wishing you all the best MrsC. Tell the nurses about your worries - especially the handwashing. They can go through their routine with you so you wont have to be concerned.