Having hysterectomy next week for early cancer and panicking about silly things. Tell me not to be stupid.

[MrsCarrot]

I had loop diathermy recently for an abnormal smear test and it turns out it is early cancer, really early, stage 1A1 adenocarcinoma. The consultant tells me a hysterectomy is curative, I shouldn't need chemotherapy, as long as there isn't a further developed lesion after biosy but that would be rare. I go in next Friday but I am getting really anxious about everything, even stupid things.

Mostly I am worried about ds2 (15 months) who still breastfeeds at night, I have bought a bottle for DH to give him some milk but still, he is unlikely to be impressed. But I keep going over pointless things like the anesthetic, what if I don't come round or what if I come round during the op and can't tell them. What if I get a hospital aquired infection, how will I feel about asking everyone if they've washed their hands. I run through little scenarios several times a day thinking how I can keep asking without them thinking I'm awkward.

I know it's my right to check, I know I shouldn't be obsessing about it, I know ds will survive four days without me, I know dh will cope with all three, I know I am unlikely to get MRSA or die during the op but My God, I cannot stop all of these thoughts. I am freaking out and I now it is probably displaced stress, only found out a few weeks ago so am still shocked I expect but I can't seem to calm down about it.

Anyone experienced this, weird panics before an op, or had a hysterectomy? Am also terrified of how I will feel after, though they are not taking the ovaries so I won't have the menopause and I have had three children, you don't expect this at 30. I keep saying pull yourself together and get on with it but the anxiety is immense some days.

Oh, I hadn't thought about that, expat, though it makes sense that an organ missing will affect the way it all fits together. I think they will discuss the sedation and stuff at the pre-op but it would have been nice to know more about it. I am worried about it will affect me afterwards, emotionally and physically, I just can't see beyond the op at the moment.

It won't.

You may even find the actual going under blissful, especially if you are very worked up beforehand.

They literally just put something in your IV and you are gone.

And when you wake, it's as if an instant has passed.

But when you check in, if they notice your BP is high or you are very nervous, you can request a sedative.

It will not affect you afterwards.

One thing I find is often glossed over is the constipation from the anaesthetic and the pain relief.

You MUST from the get go, take steps to head this off. I'd even invest in some Lactulose.

Because I speak from experience, it can be VERY bad and sort of sneak up on you.

The organs can take a while to wake back up and be sluggish for days, even up to a week.

Bring dried fruits in your bag to nibble on. Order porridge for breakfast.

Drink as much water as you can.

the other thing is, DON'T be afraid of pain relief!

It helps the body heal. Take it, especially in the early days. Don't wait till you're hurting. Take it regularly.

Thanks - I didn't know about constipation either though I have had a cs, I put that down to pregnancy. I think you were on my loop diathermy thread a couple of months ago - can't believe this is the result of it. Only had a borderline smear six months ago. Hey ho. I hope you are right about the dropping off, I keep thinking I will be so nervous it won't work! I have had other ops but they have been emergencies, no time to dwell on it. Maybe I will ask for the sedative.

Trust me, it WILL work. They'll know immediately if it hasn't due to your vitals.

I love anaesthetists, too. They're not stingy with the drugs. They'll be happy to give you a pre-op sedative, particularly if your BP is high from nerves.

If you are concerned about nausea or you have experienced nausea after anaesthesia for you CS, let them know, they have drugs that can counteract this.

Let them know you are nervous. They are used to dealing with this, too, it is part of their job.

I am happy to take all the drugs!

I think the sedatives and stuff will be out of the bf by the time I get to feed ds anyway.

They're fast-acting sedatives, MrsC. They should be long-gone by the time you feed.

BUT, do ask the anaesthetist.

yes, I will. I think morphine is ok to have too, I want a lot of that.

Oh yes, I remember morphine being v. good post CS.

Morphine can make you vomit. You may need to ask them for an antiemmetic aswell.

Hi ! Been thinking about you recently...

as others have said the staff are professionals and will go that extra mile if you let them know your concerns. Dont be afraid to ask them questions over and over again, even the most together patient can't always absorb information when its personal to them.

And dont worry about asking them to wash their hands etc, they want you to be up and running asap afterwards ...and not another blot on the hospital statistics (sorry dont mean to be flippant here)

Your DH will cope he's their father for goodness sake, your children will be fine its 3 days in hospital. Then done.I presume they can visit you ? could you feed LO then perhaps?

We are all here for you Kx

Poor you MrsC.
These are all such normal fears though. I don't think you can get rid of them entirely or suppress them, all you can do is each time they arise, remember that you WILL be fine - you won't get MRSA because you're a very very healthy fit young woman. You won't wake up during the op, the doctors will make sure of that, they do operations all day every day and they know what they're doing.

Personally I don't think you need the stress of reminding staff to wash their hands. From being in and visiting hospitals, they're so hot on it now, they have that gel stuff by every door and sink - if you're worrying about people thinking you're a pain, just try to relax and have faith that they will have taken steps to make sure they've washed their hands and save it for you dh when he visits instead

I had a really good CBT book which would be good for this situation but have lent it to someone. If you see mellowma, tell me!

Keep talking though, and voicing all your worries because they'll seem a bit smaller then.

xxx

Oh, pack a hot water bottle in case of cramps.

No experience to add but I think it's only natural you're worried. Who WOULDN'T be waking in the wee small hours?? But you've got some very good advice here. I'm sure all will be well.

a few bits from home help, too.

an iPod for some relaxing music.

if you want to bring some Bach's Rescue Remedy or some essential oils that help soothe you.

arnica.

a padlock or bike lock to keep your things secure.

some change for vending machines if you fancy a snack.

codeine is okay to have

it does constipate you, though!

Expat - are you the resident operation expert?

i've had 4 knee surgeries, one ERPC, one colposcopy, one loop diathermy, one forceps delivery, 4 broken bones (the tailbone was the worst) and i've had lots and lots of stitches!

make constipation your FOE! it is pure evil .

I was given Movicol for awful (ie; solid)constipation after a general aneasthetic for LETZ treatment in my cervix. I much prefer it to Lactulose which just pumps everything through a bit quicker. Movicol softens it.

Morphine drip made me throw up after a c-section, the pills were better.

Hope everything goes smoothly, I am sure it will.

MrsC, I have nothing to add, MNers have been great but wanted you to know I'm sorry this is happening.
I glad it will stop it all going further though.

windygales - I sort of swing from feeling really unlucky to have got this rarer type despite having all my smears, and to feeling lucky it's caught early and I have had three children.

i hope you didnt take offence at what id said i meant it with the very best of intentions ........my mum neglected her smear tests and died aged 38

Windygales - I didn't take offence at all, I know how you meant it. I'm very sorry to hear about your mum.

Expat - You are very practical. I would never have thought of taking in a hot water bottle, that's a great idea. I will do my best to prepare for this constipation!

Hello LTH and Kat - haven't been on the postnatal thread much recently, will come and say hi soon, hope you're all ok.

Boco - I do feel a bit better for voicing stuff though I felt daft at first. You are right though, fretting about the washing hands is an extra thing to worry about but you know what it's like, I am neurotic as it is, without there being actual germs to worry about!

Thanks for all advice.

MrsCarrot - I'm very sorry to hear this - I have no advice except to say wishing you all the best with the operation and the recovery.

I even take a travel tea kettle, travel milk and sugars plus my own bags .

That way I don't have to ring when I fancy a cuppa, and when visitors come they can brew us a cuppa .

Granola bars, dried fruits, even jarred baby food prunes.

If you can avoid using Movicol, Lactulose or any other type of . .. erm, aid, it's best to try to keep things moving naturally.

Pack your creature comforts - even a small photoalbum can help cheer you up for those times you feel down after the kids leave for the night.

Oh, a plastic glass for when folks bring flowers.

You'll be FINE!

You'll go to sleep and wake and it will be all over.

Do you really take all those things, your own kettle and teabags? That is hilarious - you must have gone in with a ginormous bag.

Hi Belgo, thanks for good wishes. I will have a very cosy recovery with all the comforts expat is recommending!

My friend had a hysterectomy very young and she recovered very well from the operation. She was offered lovely counselling to talk through her feelings and that helped too. She was amazed at how many women there were there of her age - lots going through the same thing. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone and that many others have been through this and have got better very quickly. Wishing you lots of support xxxx