Is anyone around - I couldn't feel more sorry for myself...

[Dottydot]

I think I have Dotty flu. I've got:

Ulcers all over my tongue so it's swollen and I can't talk.

The sorest throat in the flipping world so I can barely swallow

swollen glands all over my neck

Headache

I've been up since 5am 'cos of the pain. Taking brufen and paracetamol but it's not touching it.

WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH...

WWAAAAAHHHHHH.... Woke up and was really pleased I'd got to 4am without painkillers (7 hours since last lot). Skipped downstairs, switched computer on (of course) and made drink and then realised it was only 2am

How sorry for myself do I feel??!

God this really is crap.

Oh dear, Dotty!

Hi again - I'm clearly on American time! (although I know there are lots of American times )

Yes, I think Cali is 2 hours behind me. I would like to go to bed but am not tired. I should be reading my book rather than wasting time on the internet.

I wonder if pringles would help with ulcers like salt waster would. Wouldn't it be very painful? I'd love some pringles...

Well I chomped my way through a fair few yesterday and they were lovely! Actually I sucked the salt off them as well, so maybe my body was trying to get the salt (or maybe I just eat crisps quite strangely... ).

What are you reading at the moment?

I just picked up Animal, Vegetable, Miracle (Barbara Kingsolver) from the library. And I have a Marian Keyes one on the go for more stressful days

I want chocolate now. I have eaten grapes but they are obviously no substitution

The paracetamol gargling thing is great. HAve you tried it yet?

ooh I love Barbara Kingsolver but haven't read that one - will look out for it.

I can't read when I'm this tired - but Mumsnetting is second nature!

Chocolate sounds like a Good Idea - am off to hunt for some!

no Will send dp out for some soluble aspirin today (do you get soluble paracetamol - and if not, how do you gargle with it?? ).

I'm trying to persuade dp to cash in a Volterol prescription she got a couple of weeks ago for her bad back but hasn't used, so I can take some, but she's not very good at doing slightly dodgy things like that so I'm not getting very far.

I found a pack of chocolate digestives so am ok now. I have saved them since christmas so have done well.

How frustrating to have a dp with such high moral/ ethical values, Dotty. It is always a good idea to have one law-abiding citizen in a relationship

I suppose... I think she thinks the prescription police will break the door down and arrest her or something. (I think some strong painkillers are just what I need! )

Talking of morals - I've just had a scout around the house for chocolate and can only find 3 easter eggs which was ds's - and they're at the age where they'll know if I've opened one. What do you think..?!

ahem. Which are ds's...

You are ill. You can do anything you like. And, when it is mentioned you can use the, "but if DP had only let me have her Volterol, I wouldn't have needed chocolate" line. Go for it!

But I am mean & have no conscience and you are probably far nicer.

It does look as though you have already decided to eat at least some - the is/ was confusion gave it away

OMG you're an immoral genius!

Feeling slightly better after a bowl of cornflakes so I think I'll try going back to bed.

Thanks for keeping me company/sane the past couple of nights!

Hope you feel better in the morning.

I do have some morals. Somewhere. Deep down. Honest.

Califrau, I know a teacher who did eat dung instead of chocolate. I'm not sure what possessed her, but there was a brown splodge on the floor and she asked me what it was. I eyed it suspiciously and said I wasn't sure so she bent down, stuck her finger in it and gave it a good lick. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a squashed 'chocolate log' deposited by one of our first graders. In fact, he left a little trail around the classroom. A bit like a goat.

I think she'd have preferred American chocolate over squished poo.

I'm sure you all wanted to know that.

Ewww! I go away for 2 hours' sleep and the conversation turns to eating poo?!

Sorry

I blame Califrau.

Hello again! So what time is it in Chicago now? Feels like I've been Mumsnetting 24 hours a day this week...

Am sooooooooo fed up of having so much pain. Have turned into an outrageous grouch and have the full set of being horrible to dp, ds's and my Mum

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SWALLOW AGAIN...

(feeling sorry for myself has hit new lows!)

Are you any better Dotty?

Are your family talking to you?