My gorgeous dd has really really bad OCD.

[gracepaley]

We are on the waiting list for therapy and reading up about it like loons, but we are feeling really bleak about it. It's such a fucking pointless, ridiculous evolutionary blip, and it's turning her into a ghost of herself. Anyone got any cheery stories about recovery to bolster me? Normally more resolute, but just tonight feeling crap about it.

She did. She can't really do anything there - she can't write, read, draw or really use computers at the moment, but she can hang with her friends. hope all good with master johnny depp.
happy wkd.

Yes my son has been ok today - I cant remember his hands being mentioned once!!! He has apologised all day - for anything and every thing - which he does! I'm reading the book - 'What to do when your brain gets stuck' which is very good. Feeling positive.

Happy wkd to you and yours xxx

excellent mrs jd. The one that we have is called "Talking Back to OCD" and it's BRILLIANT, it even has a step by step method of dealing with it if you are not in the system. It helps the child realise that THEY Are not the OCD, which is a big step in recovery. I hope he continues to enjoy the weekend........take care.

gracep and MrsJonnyDepp - you are both sounding SO much more up and positive - that's fab..keep going...thinking of you both

best wishes to you and your kids, gracey and mrs jonny d. I had the apologising compulsion too when I was a kid - got bollocked for talking to my friend in assembly when in act I was compulsively apologising! I think the telling off helped me kick that habit though. If you need any more reading on that sort of issue, google OCD and scrupulosity.

How are you GP today?

Not good here - the book we have been reading has made things worse - I think its tempory. The more I seem to be understanding - the more he is telling me

He has a stressful day tomorrow - he is opening a school play for 300 people. I hope it is not too much for him

Hi, MM, TC - thanks for your continuing support....... Really feel for the younger you TC, compulsively apologising. It's the bit of dd's OCD I find the most nefarious and lonely making (for her.)

Mrs JD, sorry things worse today. With dd, once she knew we understood and were not going to tell her off (any more ) her symptoms worsened, I think because she had suppressed them for so long and it was so exhausting. I think also the aetiology of it is that it does generally get worse if unchecked, although there are posters on here who have got better alone.

I'm not really a very advise-y kind of person, but I think our naming the OCD has been the single best thing we have done so far. Partly because it's easier to say when we're out and about "Is Fiona really bothering you today?" and also partly because she now really accepts that OCD is not her, and vice versa. Plus it allows us to challenge the behaviours without her feeling we are challenging her.

Sorry that was an essay........I hope you have a good night. DD has lost her language again today, partly because her cousin came round today so she was fighting really hard for the whole day and is now exhausted.

I hope your son does ok with the play. Before DD got really bad her thing was to make superhuman efforts for things like that and then collapse later...hope he doesn't have the same.

Hello grace. Sorry for disappearing temporarily. I will email you later.

I just have to say your dd sounds so incredibly plucky.

Good fighting vibes to MasterJonnyDepp too.

I would agree that the has-to-get-worse-before-it-gets-better rule can often apply to OCD - the sheer relief of naming and challenging the symptoms can mean the permanent action-stations tension drops a little, and thus provides a breach for the rituals to reassert themselves iyswim. At my worst my memory was literally unreliable to me, and if I let my guard drop I would have to repeat rituals as I wasn't sure whether or not I'd done them ('right'). It is terrifying to an OCD sufferer to not be in a state of heightened alertness. Is this making sense? But it is very much a first step in the right direction.

Hello Berolina {waves in an uncool and excited manner} are you feeling better my darlin? Have been thinking about you. Hope all good with you.....

YES YES YES totally know what you mean about hypervigilance - it's one of the things that's so exhausting. And the memory thing is really evil isn't it.

I just slightly lost it with her as there is now a new ritual which involves a way of kissing me at bedtime. I really really hate it, but at the moment she can't let it go.

Thanks - I appreciate your ideas and suport.

I'm concerned that tomorrow is a make or break day with ds. I really hope he can do it - his confidence will soar and he will be able to really start to put the monster (Fiona!) in his/her place!

I'm sorry to hear there is a new ritual GP - and I shuddered to remember when I lost count as a kid, and had to start again berolina.

gah ! the hypervigilence thing is always with me - I can't not notice things - I'm still doing this to a certain extent though I believe the worst of my OCD is gone - there are residual things where I have to check things like pockets and buttons and things on clothes before putting in the w machine ( in case the damage the machine) - this means sorting laundry takes forever and I really have to concentrate - Same with checking house before we go away - those are my only 2 troubling rituals - sorry to talk about my stuff because I don't want yo to think your dcs will be plagued as grown-ups (and they are being treated at much earlier stage than I was) - just wanted to empathise with you.

good luck tomorrow to ds MrsJD !
I thgink the frustration ansd misery is not being able to trust your own judgement, to have doubts that just seep in and mean you can't just leave things or if you do it requires such superhuman strength..bad enough for an adult who understands what's going on, but for a child must be frightening in the extreme

I am feeling partly better, thank you - have had a bit of an epiphany, which unsettles, but helps. I am very very tired now, but promise I will email in the morning

sleep well Berolina.......
hello and goodnight mm......

Hello! How is your day?

All good here - ds was FANTASTIC!

Reminds me that he is an exceptional child and a real original.

Oh Well Done master JD. And I know what you mean about them being true originals.

This is from one of our books: "most people with OCD are extremely intelligent, imaginative, moral, thoughtful and creative."

I love that. It really describes my dd. But she is struggling right now, so must be off.

Yes - thats so true.

Thinking of you.

Just want to send my best wishes and good vibes to all of you on this thread suffering with this horrible illness, and to all of you who are helping a dc who is suffering.

gp, I've been reading your thread from the outset and only haven't posted out of inadequacy.

I had dreadful OCD as a child - what you said about the saying words backwards and forwards was one of my worst symptoms, I was pretty much mute at one stage for 10 months as I couldn't get past the 'alphabet' in my head (which I also 'played out' on my fingers) in order to speak aloud. There were many other manifestations some of which included food and I got quite thin at one point.

Now I'm definitely under control but definitely still have OCD. It very rarely prevents me from doing anything - I got a BA, MA and PhD in fine art, if anything occasionally the OCD helped me to focus. When you can focus that kind of intent consciousness into something productive it can be quite amazing, it's only when it fixes on pointless intricate activities that it becomes like a sickness.

Now, I have only one dd, she's 5 1/2 and I am sure she's already showing OCD signs although I'm trying hard to talk myself out of the possibility. So far it's things like 'taking photos' by blinking her eyes to get rid of 'bad images' in her head. Sometimes it's like walking round next to a nodding dog she's taking so many photos. And I've noticed it increasingly with her reading that she does these weird swallows and clicks before she can say the words out loud. She's been 'perfectionist' since she was about 2 and become hysterical over things like the seam of her tights being 'wrong' i.e not matching the other foot.

Could you tell me, then, when your dd's OCD started? How long has it been as bad as it is at this point? I can't remember the facts of my own experience well enough and I'd like to think ahead for dd. Just in case.

Sorry for going on. Feel free to totally ignore this as nothing I'm saying is any help to you and you do need help and support at the moment.

thanks the red worm.
Imaginary friend, inadequacy schminadequacy.It sounds like it was pretty bad for you, and yet there you are acheiving away in art.
It's brilliant always to hear of fabulous adult OCD sufferers who have made something of themselves. It helps me project positively into the future and imagine that maybe dd can have a successful, productive life. In the darkest times when she is in the grip of it this is wildly helpful.

I guess she has always been anxious, highly strung, and internal, but she didn't start to show actual OCD symptoms until she was about 6. This current bout started about 6 months ago, and worsened considerably 2 months ago.
I'm not sure how this will help you with your dd though - I think as a parent you know whether your kids need extra help or not - if the OCD is really making them suffer, or taking up too much time, or is proliferating rapidly, then the help is there for them. I hope for both of your sakes that it just passes. It's certainly possible.... but as a fellow sufferer you will be able to empathise with her from the off and won't go through the horrible process of gradually accepting it that we had to. Good luck, and all the v best to you both xx

GP, another OCDer here although I only now relapse if I'm feeling anxious about something. You are right about CBT, it is wonderful and should help a lot.

My ds1 is showing some OCD tendencies and also has sensory processing disorder. We have just been advised by one of his doctors to start various supplements such as probiotics, DHA, cod liver oil, and one called Juice + (not sure if it's available in the UK). And we are going dairy-free. (Ds1 has some gut issues as well as these behavioral tendencies) The doc says we should see some improvements in all areas in about 6 weeks. Fingers crossed!

Grace P, how did the appointment go today? thinking of you both xx

gp I hope today's gone well for you.

Part of my PhD thesis was on obsessive behaviour and I learnt quite a lot about where it comes from and why. Personally I don't believe it necessarily has a psychological route although I do think conflicted / tense environments aren't good for a OCD-oriented child. Another child might survive perfectly in the same environment. I grew up in a very secretive household in which I knew, deep down, that there were 'things' going on and I'm sure that's partly to do with why my OCD was so spectacularly bad. It was impossible, it seemed to me, to try to talk to my parents about what was happening, I assumed I was bad / wrong / mad.

When writing my PhD I became more and more convinced that OCD is a weird and pointless evolutionary blip. Most of the behaviours in total moderation are completely normal and quite sensible. It's the terminal self-doubt / fear of the unknown or uncontrollable that turns them into something so damaging. I wrote a chapter of my PhD thesis entitled 'the sun will not rise tomorrow' and it was all about doubt, about how for an OCD sufferer there is such a loss of belief in things that they cannot even be sure there will be light the next day.

With dd I find myself in a quandary because I want to support her rituals but I also know that I can in fact make them worse by 'indulging' them as it were. They are insatiable and will become more and more so if you don't keep 'trimming' them back. So I try generally to support her but not the rituals at all. Easier said than done.

hi gp. Just checking in with you. how is dd? Is it tomorrow that she has her first therapy session?

i have just read the whole thread and i feel sick from crying
grace i really hope the therapy sessions help your dd and you all as a family. From reading your posts you come across as a very strong and intelligent woman so i know you won't be expecting a miracle cure - even when your dd is seeing someone for her problems you may well feel very frustrated with the pace of recovery - i don't feel i'm explaining myself or helping - sorry.

i just wanted offer some suppoprt having been through a situation like this[but much milder] with my own dd. Things got unbearable at home and i feel i failed her but i did get her into therapy and now a couple of years down the line things are soooooo much better - she is 13 now and i really think a lot of her problems were down to hormones.Like your dd mine is very very "moral" [her recepyion teacher said she was too honest] and she is only now understanding that not everyone has her high morals! she is also not super intelligent but very bright & extremely eloquent & creative and in many ways she has grown out of her obsessions {i'm afraid i totally put my foot down about many of them and refused to become part of it or help in her routines} i too was very angry about the OCD and really feel that I needed some therapy myself to help me deal with my emotions - maybe that might be an idea to help you cope?

sorry this post rambled so i am tired.