My gorgeous dd has really really bad OCD.

[gracepaley]

We are on the waiting list for therapy and reading up about it like loons, but we are feeling really bleak about it. It's such a fucking pointless, ridiculous evolutionary blip, and it's turning her into a ghost of herself. Anyone got any cheery stories about recovery to bolster me? Normally more resolute, but just tonight feeling crap about it.

Hi all. I called the CAMHT and cried on the phone, not deliberately, but when describing the symptoms to the clinician. SHe said the appointment could not be brought forward ( in fact it has had to be put back a bit) but that she understood the seriousness of the situation and that she would make sure that there was a clinical psychologist at the initial assessment, not just a psychiatrist/psych nurse, and that they would try and speed up the treatment after that. I think we will sell our kidneys or our house or something to get her privatley treated if we can't get her seen really soon. Today we were supposed to go for a lovely walk to the beach with everyone, across the fields and woods,but she just couldn't do it, she had to keep stopping, going backwards, stepping, muttering. In the end we gave up but it still took us 2.5 hours to cross two fields. It is so insidious, the way it proliferates and develops. And at the moment she hates it if I try and stand up to it in any way - not by trying to prevent her performing the rituals, but by telling her how much I hate the OCD because of what it is doing to her. She ends up having to apologise to it. That is the most heartbreaking thing of all.

Have no advice Grace but I have been reading your posts and felt I couldn't not post. It sounds like all of you, especially your dd, are going through hell. Your last post made me cry!
Sending lots of love and hugs and I hope you get some help soon.

poor poor girl

i think like you i'd be doing anything to get her seen by someone, grace. you sound wonderful and so does she, it's just that you're all a bit stuck right now.

not wonderful at all, struggling immensely with my rage against this totally useless stupid fucking disease. Last night was a toughy again. It doesn't help that before all this kicked off I was about to leave dh. Now I can't, not for the moment. He is being brilliant about her but we are not connecting well at all and that is adding to the stress. BUT WE WILL OVER COME la la la la la la.

i think a lot of parents would be raging against the child rather than the condition tbh, so yes, i'm sticking with wonderful. that's not to minimise the nightmare situation that you find yourself in, though.

Hi Grace, hope my popping up here doesn't bother you - just read this apropos the "other" thread.

Not sure whether you'd consider me a fully sane and well-adjusted person, (you decide!), but I would certainly say that I've had a happy and successful life overall - so far, (40+ atm).

However, between the ages of c.7-11yrs, I had what would certainly be diagnosed as OCD nowadays. Because I was an only child and then had a much younger sibling, I was able to keep nearly all my rituals and mantras secret. I remember being made to feel very awkward about my constant handwashing, but nothing else was ever exposed. I spent an inordinate amount of time on my own, though.

Looking back, my parents were going through a tough time - I think they almost split up on several occasions - my mother had several miscarriages and my sibling was born handicapped. I changed schools a lot.

Gradually, things must have improved because the OCD more or less disappeared. Now and again, if I'm really stressed, it may pop up briefly, but not to any debilitating extent.

Hope this helps. It's great that your dd has caring, understanding and supportive parents who have the time and patience to help her through this. Good luck.

thanks stuffed and not inappropriate at all.
Feeling really bleak again today; she is just stuck in it all the time, we keep having to cancel things.She can't go to school, I can't go to work, I can't see anyone. We had ambitiously invited good friends over for sunday lunch but there's no way we can do it now. Her symptoms are too disturbing. It's a kind of ever decreasing circle, in which she can do less and less every day, and by extension, so can we. I am NOT a very patient person and motherhood makes me claustrophobic anyway, so this is a HUGE karmic challenge for me. I am digging really deep. I love her hugely. 2 weeks till her first appointment. Incidentally all your stories HAVE helped hugely, I am just exhausted and consequently being a self pitying twunt today.

Hi Grace, I recently attended a meeting with the Health Secretary, Alan Johnson, who has just announced a huge injection of cash from the Government into the NHS to spend on training another 3,000 NHS CBT therapists. I was there as a patient (but I do not suffer from OCD, I have a phobia).

But, at the meeting a met a woman in her late 40s who had suffered from OCD for more than 20 years. She briefly described some of her rituals which included washing every single item of clothing she wore including her coat every day for fear of catching germs. There were many many more. It sounds depressing, but the point she made was that 12 sessions of CBT had completely cured her - after 20+ years.

CBT is helping me with my issues too. I really think it can work very well, even in extremely difficult cases. I hope this gives you some confidence in the therapy, even if your DD does have to wait a bit.

In the future we won't have to wait so long for CBT on the NHS now that all these extra therapists are going to be trained.

gracepaley - I know I keep saying it but hang on because it'll be better - I know it's hell now, but it will be better...thinking of you and dd lots

Grace, look here

and here

Might something like that help in the meantime?

I am so sorry it's so bad - for you and your daughter Keep holding us before you as living proof that this is beatable and that she can and, no doubt, will live well having come through it.

Any specific questions, or you just need to rant, you know where I am.

Thanks all. You are right. In the scheme of things 2 weeks is not long to wait. I need to hold on to that. And I KNOW the CBT works and I KNOW she will get through this. Berolina thanks darlin we have books coming out of our EARS - including the 2nd one you posted - and are gradually becoming ludicrously well informed. But none of the books tell you how to become a brilliant, compassionate, selfless parent.

when I started having OCD symptoms it was much less known about - I had not idea anyone else was like me !

Absolute selflessness is rarely healthy, even when confronted with something like this; compassion you have plenty of, going by your posts; and brilliant - is what you are, for her, because you are her parent and thus what she wants and needs.

Believe me, if I could get through OCD with parents breaking into the bathroom, telling me I was round the twist and picking up the phone to get me sectioned, then your dd, with thoughtful courageous parents, already has the foundations in place to beat this.

agree with you there berolina - my parents were remarkably patient with me considering

Blimey Berolina. Still reeling from your parents' reaction. Impossible not to feel on your behalf, but I guess people just didn't KNOW what it was a generation ago. In that sense dd is very lucky - we now know what it is, and we have found a method of treatment that works. I say "we" - I have not actually been part of this process...... Have just got The Imp of the Mind - looking forward to reading it.

Hi Gracepaley big (((((hugs))))) for you and dd.

I've not read all of the thread but some of the stories other posters recount about having an obsessional period when they were 8/9/10 and then it just fading are very interesting. I work as a therapist in CAMHS and we get lots of referrals for young people with obsessions/compulsions in this age group.

I've just completed the first part of by CBT training and I'll be fully qual by next year. 3 of mycases have been OCD. I really hope treatment works for your dd, at this age therapists usually concentrate on the behaviour rather than the cognitions and try to habituate them to uncertainty/anxiety. As a previous poster has said therapy that involves "delving into the past" can be unsuitable and downright dangerous. Most CBT works on the maintenance cycle (here and now thoughts/feelings/behaviours) first and then if neccessary the therapist may look at core beliefs/schemas/assumptions e.g "I have to be perfect" "I have to be the best at everything otherwise I'm a failure" etc. etc.

Also CBT for OCD can take a big longer than for other anxiety disorders (panic for example is usually quite quick 6-8 sessions). Fingers crossed for you and your dd CAT me if you want to chat more

thank you peacelily. Nice name. THat's really helpful to meet a real live therapist on here. Yes I know it might take a while, she has so many rituals and they are so complex.... but I do BELIEVE in CBT, for this, anyway.

OK. The dds go back to school tomorrow, at least they should; dd1 won't be going, dd2 will. DP is at work till late every night this week and next week even later. dd2 has started tantrumming and kicking off as a result of all the extra attention we are having to foist on dd1.DD1 is now "in" OCD pretty much permanently. I know it's only 12 days, but I am really unsure how I am going to find the resources to deal. It's the after school - bedtime period, when I have both of them, and both are tired, that is filling me with DREAD. I need to be really calm and really strong, and I am temperamentally neither.

hope it's bearable gracepaley (it's me,MAS having name changed for the duration of The Apprentice). Interestingly, I have just performed one of my 'rituals' - a kind of token cleaning of the cooker after dh has cooked dinner - he would do it, but I do it 'properly' and I would feel very unhappy if I couldn't do this...it would be on my mind all the time.. a tiny fraction of the anxiety your dd is probably feeling about her rituals as mine are manageable and more or less token rituals. I hate doing it though and wish I didn't have to.

she can't get to sleep, the bastard ocd is now telling her she didn't do any of her rituals properly and she is creaming begging us to take her to all the places she went to day so she can redo the rituals. How much worse can this get?

screaming

screaming

Oh darling, I am sorry. You will have to hold out through this, you can't take her around now. Hold her, if she will be held, stroke her. Make her a drink for when she calms down - and she will, if only through exhaustion - no-one can scream forever. I am here.

"I know it's only 12 days, but I am really unsure how I am going to find the resources to deal. It's the after school - bedtime period, when I have both of them, and both are tired, that is filling me with DREAD. I need to be really calm and really strong, and I am temperamentally neither".

Well how about pretending that you ARE (really calm and really strong) Grace? No-one here on Mumsnet is going to be able to come to your rescue and sort your daughter out for you.

How about looking at it this way: you and DD are both LUCKY that her therapy starts so soon?