The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

In awe of the cooking and weight loss@TopOfTheCliff! And congrats on the cycling times!
@Penguinsa certainly sounds like some great plans and exciting times ahead. Great to hear your dd is having a good time.
Just back from a few days in the Cotswolds, really lovely despite murky weather.
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Thanks TheSandwich Glad you had a lovely time in the Cotswolds, it's so perfect around there.

Just had DDs matriculation this morning and now they are off punting. Collected a lovely veg box, which had impressive radish the size of potatoes in which we had in a ploughman's for lunch followed by cake from the bakers. Back to eating too much cake! Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I seem to have got myself through a couple of tricky weeks of busyness. Had my two year check with the surgery team, which was less grim than last year (nicer, female dr, and even a nice receptionist, which is a first for that department). I spent most of last week working on clearing DF’s house. Took a lot of stuff to the tip and charity shop and brought a few things home. It’s going on the market at the end of the week. Very mixed feelings but it’s for the best. And I’m now in Cairo for work. I haven’t done a trip like this since before my cancer and have never been to Egypt. I was less stressed than you might expect, perhaps because I didn’t have the headspace to panic. Due to some cancelled events, I’ve actually ended up with loads of free time and have done some sightseeing. I’ve mainly been with a colleague but he’s resting up and I’m going to be brave and venture out solo to try to find a recommended bookshop. We were lucky enough to see the astonishing new Grand Egyptian Museum yesterday. Sending best wishes for all recovery adventures, big and small.

Wow @dotty2 that’s a hot ticket! I was hearing about GEM on Radio 4 it sounds amazing. The house clearing is making DH sad. He goes up to the DPs house and misses them. I will try to help him with cheery music and positivity but it is a sorry business.
My fitness is coming on. I flew up the hills on our weekly ladies bike ride today. The others noticed, as most of them have only ever known me as slow and grumbling. It makes me very happy! I am aware though that my mental state is fragile, and I am easily offended in a way that isn’t normal for me. I feel thin skinned! I’m exploring why this should be at the moment. It seems unlikely it’s a menopausal thing.

Egypt looks great @dotty2 - enjoy! My DM's house is also going onto the market next week, but as a soft market rather than onto rightmove etc. at the moment. I've been there this morning doing jobs, my cleaner is going tomorrow and I've got a friend who's going to go and tidy up the garden. There are some old damp patches in the downstairs toilets so that needs painting too. I'm gradually bringing the important things here, though now they're just cluttering up my house! We had the celebration of her life at the weekend, it was small but went really well, I've been pretty knackered ever since though as I did all the organising. It feels like another stage over, but I guess until we get probate and I sell the house it's still on my mind and involves me doing stuff.

It's not surprising any of us feel the psychological effects @TopOfTheCliff - we've all been through a lot of trauma, you twice. I feel like I haven't really fully integrated the whole horror of cancer into my psychology and perception of myself. I do wonder whether I need some more counselling, but it's difficult to find decent support, and also just becomes another task to do. Instead, I'm trying to just give myself space to process things, which is easier now I'm not constantly dealing with DM's crises and my work is much more stable.

I read about the GEM - what a fab place to get to visit.

My DBro and I cleared out my mum's bungalow last year. I hated doing it and cried everytime I went there. It was the little things that got to me - mum's wooden spoons etc.

Egypt looks amazing Dotty what a wonderful adventure.

Good your fitness is getting great Top

Hope house sale goes smoothly Sierra

Been for another check at hospital today, all fine but one bruise which they think caused by binder, so they advised not to wear it, which is good as I hate that binder, though think it's more likely bra than binder. Have to go back on Friday then in 2 weeks, but they said its all going very well. Seems all scars healed but still only allowed to walk.

Went to botanical gardens again after hospital which was nice and had lunch and cake with hot choc then lovely walk with DH, so many squirrels and so many pretty flowers and trees, amazed they have so much colour this time of year. DD seems to have had a lovely weekend with her birthday and matriculation, karokee and parties, not hearing about any studying but her biggest issue so far seemed to be too many cakes and doughnuts so going well.

Gardens

Wow@dotty2 what an adventure.
@top that’s amazing. Much sympathy on house clearing- as @MissMarplesNiece says it’s the little things that catch you out…dms bungalow sold in July, and I still have suitcases here of the hard to deal with stuff- and I want to visit her old lovely neighbours but have been put off by the skips/ vans outside - I don’t want to see it “ done up” and want to hold those memories. I will grit my teeth because they were so lovely.
glad check up went well @Penguinsa - lovely photo.

I hope the week has started well for you all. I went into town in the morning to do some shopping, and realised that I was feeling very dizzy and nauseous yet again. This is a daily occurrence and I have been putting it down to the Exemestane. It has been helping me lose weight as I have a reduced appetite so I have been accepting it. Today I decided to take some action. I am going to stop the medication for a couple of weeks and see if I feel better. If not then there must be another explanation. I can’t see any point ringing the clinic as I am due to see them in December anyway. I will tell them my conclusions when I see them. I feel better for making a decision.

My week's okay although two of my team have gone down with Covid. I was off work on Friday and Monday because of my DM's celebration so I'm hoping I've missed their germs! I got back to exercise last night after a busy week last week when I did nothing and did a yoga class and a swim. I wish the gym was closer so I could go more easily every day.

Sorry, you're not feeling great Top, not quite the same thing but I had vertigo when I was on HRT that stopped once I stopped.

I'm wondering how I will feel when DM's house is sold @thesandwich - I won't have to drive directly past it but I will drive past the end of her close on a fairly regular basis. I feel like I've been fairly dispassionate so far @MissMarplesNiece though it was a bit strange at first walking in with time frozen to the day that she left, I've done a lot of tidying up since then though so it now feels quite different. I have brought quite a lot of stuff back to my house, God knows what I'm going to do with it, DD said was I going to leave it for her to deal with when I died!

Good news that you're healing well @Penguinsa though I would find it frustrating not being able to exercise!

Empathy to all those face with sorting late parent’s homes, it is a very emotionally charged job. It’s also quite the practical challenge. My late MiL lived in the same house for over 60 years and was not noted for throwing anything out. Several years on, it’s comforting to see things in the homes of her offspring and grand children, little things like a cake knife or a tea set.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling ropey Top, it seems under discussed that the impact of treatment is continuous, particularly if you had a hormone receptive tumour. I was diagnosed with TNBC. At the time of diagnosis all I could hear from clinicians was that there was a load of good stuff that wasn’t for the likes of me, with my invasive, aggressive, fewer treatment options sort of breast cancer.

A year ago today I had my last paclitaxel. I feel well, and hearing of the effects of years of drugs for hormone positive cancers quite relieved that that is something I don’t have to face.

Off to a Cotswolds pub for an overnight stay later. I’ll raise a glass to you all on the continuing journey of recovery

It’s hard not to become avoidant and stay away from the house where the bittersweet memories are waiting to ambush you. DH and I need to spend some proper time clearing not just popping in and out. It won’t be long till the probate comes through and we can sell up. I think the little bungalow will sell easily enough.
I am not feeling bad all the time, just waves of nausea and a swirling sensation usually in the morning. I’m actually getting fitter than I have been in a few years and enjoying the gym classes. I am just 2kg heavier than when I was first diagnosed in 2020 so the first target is looming. I am feeling quite motivated and cheerful about eating well and putting in the effort. DH has stopped bringing me cake but is a bit worried I will soon weigh less than him.

Just seen your message @GrannyGoggles and yay to the first anniversary of finishing chemotherapy. It is a year since I finished Capecitabine. I had it after treatment for TNBC which was my second BC. The Exemestane is for BC no 1 which was TPBC in 2020.
Enjoy the Cotswolds!

@TopOfTheCliff My mum's bungalow sold very quickly. We had lots of offers, including cash offers over the asking price. I hope for the same for you & DH.

So lovely to see everyone’s photos of Autumn colour and Egypt looks amazing @dotty2 - hope you have an amazing time!

@TopOfTheCliff I had terrible nausea and dizziness when I stared letrozole. I felt like I was on a cross channel ferry in November! I took some anti emetics for a month and it went away. It’s a bit different with yours starting when you’ve been on AIs for a while though.

I’ve finally seen a pain consultant who has diagnosed me with chronic post surgical pain. He’s given me some patches and some tablets and given me an MRI, so hopefully I can sort this out now, as I had surgery last August. The patches are wonderful but I cant stick them everywhere as I’m only allowed to use one at a time!

To be honest @tam23 I think the nausea and giddiness have been there all along but were drowned out by pain and actually being at sea feeling seasick! It's only now things have quieted down and I am in no pain (hooray!) that I can recognise the baseline and notice that it isn't right. I am off amitryptiline and paracetamol too so just taking one tablet a day. Or none this week!
I think DHs DM has been reincarnated as a cheeky robin. It is popping into the house and chattering away while he is filling out the probate and share forms. She would have had a lot to say about the ridiculousness of the paperwork. I miss her!

It’s my last day in Cairo today. I’ve done lots of solo sightseeing today as my colleague wasn’t free. I feel quite pleased with myself as it’s not the easiest city to navigate and I’ve seen only one other European woman on her own so have felt pretty self conscious. The photo is from a beautiful mosque which was very hard to find and I was the only visitor. Magical. I did get very sick the other night which was a nasty few hours so I have stopped taking my abemaciclib temporarily and am eating mainly white carbs, which is a shame as there’s so much lovely food, but a sensible precaution.

It’s comforting to read your reflections on house clearing, thank you all. It’s such an intense experience, lots of happy memories mixed with so much nostalgia and grief. Hoping everyone with annoying or distressing after/side effects feels better soon.

Great photos from Cairo Dotty and well done managing alone there.

Thanks Sandwich

Hope you avoid covid Sierra

Night away sounds good Granny

Have to go back to hospital on Friday to check on my bruise though otherwise recovery going very well, still only allowed to walk. I think bruise has been caused by the too tight things they make you wear, I have been saying they are too tight and getting no they can't be. At least they believe me now though their solution was too just put gauze in the bra which does nothing so ordered a bigger one and have this one just done up with 1 hook at front. Just hoping foob doesn't drop off. 😂 Seems fine. And they've been saying no carrying anything for 12 weeks but today I picked up the cat as he had been poking me for an hour from 6am and trilling and was handing him to DH but then remembered and felt his 8kgs. Oops but nothing fell off. Have fireworks this weekend and am organising things for later in year. DD seems really happy at university but seems to be all socialising and almost no working. Had fish and chips tonight as DS loves that. Fence has been done in garden.

@Penguinsa it seems highly likely that you are right about the binder and the bruise. You know your body pretty well! I hope it settles soon.
I am glad your DD is having fun. I remember my first term at University was a blur of alcohol and parties. I got home at Christmas exhausted and flat broke having done no work and spent the holidays cramming for exams in January. It’s a rite of passage.

@dotty2 that looks amazing. I shall put Egypt on the bucket list.

I went for a hard bike ride tonight with the cycle club. Lots of hills but not too far. I kept up! I didn’t walk on any hills, and beat a PB on the big one coming home. I think I am almost fitter than I was before cancer. Just 2kg over too. It is so rewarding getting the benefit of all the hard work it really motivates me to keep going.

I think they're very risk averse with that length of time they tell you not to do things @Penguinsa - it was the same with my hysterectomy - don't pick up anything, but I was alone a lot of the time so had no choice, I was really careful but nothing dreadful happened.

Great about your fitness @TopOfTheCliff and also that the reward is the fitness! Although I have a David Lloyd membership, it's a bit of a drive away, if I lived closer, I think I would probably go every day. Our local Leisure Centre is being done up at the moment, I used to regularly go to the early morning classes there as well, which will start again in November, we are supposed to be getting free membership of it because of work, although it's taking a while to sort out. I'd like to run more but it's difficult now with the dark mornings and evenings, I could go in my lunch if I'm working from home. I'm working from home today but going out for lunch with a friend, so no running, maybe a walk around the park!

I got an email yesterday for a show by comedian Mark Steel about his cancer - I've seen him before, but I didn't know he'd had cancer, so I Googled and found this article and had many moments of recognition - https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2023/oct/09/mark-steel-comedian-cancer - don't know if he's read the mountain lion story that @TopOfTheCliff found for us! Anyway, I don't think I'll be seeing the show, but the article was good.

I'm glad its nearly the weekend, although I have to spend some of it painting DM's downstairs toilet for the estate agent photos!

@SierraSapphire Loved that article - had a couple of moments where I really did laugh out loud! Thanks for sharing.

Hello everyone, sorry for the radio silence but I’ve been enjoying a summer of ridiculous amounts of hedonism! It’s been fantastic, I haven’t had as much fun or done so much dancing in years!

I attempted to help my mother again but have realised that the situation is just beyond fixing. I will keep it civil but she is an angry and unwell person who is very toxic. Low level contact and self protection will be the way forward there. Lots of stuff happened, but I escaped unscathed. Just. There were a couple of points where I said what I needed to say. And a couple of points where I stepped away and said that I wasn’t going to listen or engage until she stopped. Anyway lots to unpick there with the counsellor, or not. I think I’ve given enough of my time.

Alas real life beckons again.

But I really feel changed. My outlook has almost completely changed. I’m giving everything a go and while I still have the odd low it lasts a couple of hours at most.

@dotty2 I’m jealous you got to see the new Cairo Museum and well done for getting out there. I had tummy trouble in Egypt. Everyone did!

@TopOfTheCliff sorry you’ve been dealing with nausea.

I ran out of immunotherapy tablets whilst back in the UK but have just restarted them. Two more months to go.

I’m back applying for jobs, pet and husband wrangling and doing too much housework again. But it will all settle down.

I’ve been writing loads over the summer and am building up to doing an open mic session tomorrow. First non-teaching audience facing event in years…Fingers crossed it goes well.

Happy Friday and be lucky!

Fairy Wren x

@SierraSapphire thanks for posting that link. I feel a bit sorry for Mark Steel that he has to make proper jokes about his cancer. We can sound off with black humour if we want but his jokes have to be actually funny as he is a comedian. I laughed out loud too!

@FairyWren7 well done you! Your summer sounds fabulous and I love your new devil may care attitude.

DH and I are Up North on a jolly. We cycled 50 miles in the Peak district in fog and rain. I think Type Two Fun is the best description. Then we checked into the wrong Premier Inn in Huddersfield. All sorted now, in the right one! I am having a day off the bike tomorrow to recover as my legs are trashed. Then it is my friend’s birthday party and we are staying in a proper boutique hotel. It has been fun if exhausting as ever trying to keep up with DH.