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2005: the flare-loving fag-free club

337 replies

charliecat · 02/01/2005 18:06

Here we go girls

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charliecat · 30/01/2005 20:53

Hi whymummy..! Your doing well too! Is this your first attempt or your 278th like me?
I am surviving on willpower/hypnosis and doses of whyquit.com and of course bashing away at this thread....it seems to be awfully empty round here, sometimes we are all here ranting away!
I was in a pub today non smoking one side...where we were with the kids and one side smoking...and I was gobsmacked to see the smoking side was jampacked with people..welll25 or so and there were 8 lonely souls...4 of them me and my family in the nonsmoking part. I did think maybe there were 5 smokers and the rest were just nonsmoking friends sitting among the reek but it did shock me....usually its the other way around...isnt it?
I always felt an outcast with my fag!!!

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whymummy · 30/01/2005 21:43

it is my 278th attempt too charliecat
we were also in the non-smoking part of the pub today and dh actually said "why are you staring at the other bar????" i was staring at the smoke
i am eating lots though i just hope i can loose the weight once i'm over the cravings,i also fall asleep so much earlier than before but i can't get up in the mornings,is like i'm in a much deeper sleep,has anyone noticed that?
i will try that web page you mentioned charliecat,thanks

fee77 · 30/01/2005 21:57

hello whymummy and welcome - i haven't been here long, but everyone is really nice!!! My story is further down the page - it is 4 weeks and 1 day since my last fag!!! Yippee! I am eating more too - i lost a few pounds at the start, but am munching like mad at the moment. Just picking my way through the yoghurt raisins i bought for DD! But i would rather gain weight than smoke - i am constantly dieting anyway, but i don't want to give up smoking every month!!

charliecat · 30/01/2005 22:07

Food tastes better so we eat more...someone once said also that the urge for a fag is exactly like the need for food but one cant replace the other.......I am squeezing into size 14s now...ones that I used to be able to pull up and down without undoing the zips...but im preferring podgy and nonsmoking than smoking, miserable and skinnier.
Ive not had a fag since November the 27th/28th something like that..........that was LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....so pleased to say that...
The lozengers are nicer than the gum BTW...
Hi fee...your into the month now...welllllllll done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you deseve a big {{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}...
Let 2005 be the year we defeat the weed!

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whymummy · 30/01/2005 22:15

hi fee and well done!!
i'm not new but mumsnet was something else i had to give up,i was totally addicted
i still love it mumsnet though
the eating thing is what kept me going back to smoking everytime i try to give up,i don't mind now,it's only early days but i hope i succeed this time
good luck

whymummy · 30/01/2005 22:17

hi charliecat
since november??? you are doing well then

charliecat · 30/01/2005 22:19

I am rather...arent I

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whymummy · 30/01/2005 22:20

i will try the lozengers!!
the good thing about the gum is that is so vile it gives me indigestion and i can't eat,but is the evenings in front of the telly with a large bag of m&ms peanuts that is doing the damage around my waist line

Twink · 30/01/2005 22:21

Yes you are CC, hope you're bloody chuffed with yourself. xxx

charliecat · 30/01/2005 22:22

bombay mix...vodka...crisps...coke...biscuits...mmm

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charliecat · 30/01/2005 22:23

Ta Twink

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whymummy · 30/01/2005 22:25

i haven't had an alcoholic drink yet!!!!! i daren't!!!
i am going home in march and all my friends smoke and i will be drinking then !! i hope i can be srong

minkmama · 31/01/2005 12:39

OH GIRRLLLS.....

i'm afraid my absence this time renders me guilty AGAIN. have had a tough old time with my little ones, just one of those groups of days where they run me ragged. yesterday i didn't eat what was supposed to be lunch but ended up being a pastry and a cup of tea until 4.15pm! they're doing a peculiar eating strike together and as some of you already know, with ds1's previous eating problems this has just exhausted me emotionally.

will have to reset my damn counter but (CC please don't hit me!!) i am still puffing, cannot seem to stop! what the hell do non-smokers do at the end of the day (i.e. you lot )

welcome whymummy, i don't know how much you were able to read of this thread, but i was here a little bit more often than this and began this rollercoaster ride with CC and FG ages ago!

well done all of you you're doing REALLY WELL.

BM and mammya are you out there being naughty????

whymummy · 31/01/2005 14:45

hi minkmama
sorry to hear you've had problems,it's really,really hard but don't despair you can try again.
i'm not doing so well today,this morning i decided to clean all my handbags(14 of them)not to keep my mind occupied but to look for a fag
aaaaaaaaaaargh
i'm chewing nicotine gum like mad now

charliecat · 31/01/2005 16:22

OMG.....im going to implode...
Mink...how could you?
I know what you mean about not being able to stop as well, you wake up thinking I wont smoke today...and then you have just one...and youll have no more...then another, then it 12 so you may as well smoke till tommorow....guilt kicks in around 3 and you wish youdd never had the first one in the morning and it starts it all over again the next day.....NIGHTMARE.
And the reason none of us can never have just one.
You need to get back to the frame of mind that they dont help, they dont make your kids eat, they dont stop the bills falling through the door, they dont make eastenders any more watchable.
Its not just one fag, if it was it wouldnt matter, its like shaking hands with the devil. DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Please Please Please get back on track MM...or at least try, I know its hard but PLEASE...xxx
You can do it, you have done it. Just do it forever next time ...............xxxxxxxxxxxx........................ and dont stay away from this thread. Silent always means smoking it seems.
Clean Clean Clean whymummy...it does get better! Honestly! My house is rot again now ive got over the initial shock!

OP posts:
charliecat · 31/01/2005 16:24

BTW evening activitys...bath/tv/video/washing-up/sex/hoovering/sorting through clothes....

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whymummy · 31/01/2005 17:11

hi charliecat
clean?i've done nothing else since giving up!!! my house has never been this clean,lol i've just bleached the whole kitchen too,i think sniffing bleach is my next addiction,i remember i could never smoke after using bleach so i might put some bleach in a little flask and have a sniff every time i want a fag,lol
seriously though,minkmama charliecat is right,you will do it!!!

charliecat · 31/01/2005 18:19

Sadly im now over the obsessive cleaning phase much to my dismay...if you find yourself doing too much and running yourself ragged make a point of buying a magazine and sitting with a drink of coffee or whatever and try to chill for 5 mins...or else you never stop...whereas as a smoker you stop at every given oppurtunity to go and smoke.
Also if your having a bad day and things are getting you down, leave whatever is hassling you till another time. Its better to leave it and not smoke than get yourself if a fester and find yourself smoking over something!

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whymummy · 31/01/2005 20:19

thanks charliecat,i will do,cleaning was never my favourite pastime i look forward to sorting out my garden tho while i still have all this energy.
do you still crave them charliecat? does it get easier after 3 months?please say yes,i thought i wouldn't be this bad after 2 weeks but i am

charliecat · 31/01/2005 20:23

Erm i wouldnt say I crave...i walk in the door at 4oclock after going all day and think OMG I used to smoke and I dont so I wont be having one now...mild feeling of panic(the thought of the addiction coming back) and so I will do something...like put the shopping away, empty the kids lunch boxes or whatever and it will go....but that bugger all, i used to think about them 24/7...before my eyes were even open in the morning I would be thinking about them...so to get to 4pm without a thought well its freedom to me.
And once the kids have gone to bed I sometimes thing OHHHHhhhh...but I have failed sooo many times this time I know its not worth it.
Its evil, this addiction, its bloody soul destroying. But thats all the more reason to stay off the fags...to get as far away as possible from it. Going to see if I can find an inspiring article for you....BRB!

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charliecat · 31/01/2005 20:27

It is hard for many people to grasp the concept of how just one little puff can result in a full-blown relapse. It just doesn't seem logical to some people. But to everyone who asks him or herself whether or not he or she can maybe smoke "just" one, think about what advice you would give to a family member or friend who you cared very much about and you knew was a recovering or heroin or cocaine addict and was for the first time in months or years was considering to try recreational use. Imagine your shock and horror, especially if you were with him or her when he or she was in the grips of the addiction, ruining almost every aspect of life and maybe even almost losing his or her life.

Would you say to him or her, "Well, maybe you are better now, maybe its worth finding out if you could handle just one?" Would you feel the need to do a little research in current journals to see if maybe one is an option, maybe even delve into a few neurological journals to see if the scientists now have a better grip on neurotransmitter pathways that could explain why addiction happens and then maybe say, "Well they are starting to understand a little more of how addiction works and maybe soon they can alter your brain physiology, so if you relapse it may be no big deal, a cure is around the corner, maybe only years away? Or would you cut through the rationalization and say, "If you do it you are going to be back where you were when you first had to quit?" You are going to mess up your life and everyone around you.

The odds are you would go the latter route. You would be horrified and take a firm stand that he or she shouldn't do it; it would be stupid and even worse, suicidal. Well there is no difference between this scenario and the concept of maybe I can have just one now.

Well there is actually one difference. It is not medically or physically based, but rather societal. Our societies have not been taught about nicotine addiction. People have been taught about addiction and other drugs. Even though nicotine is more addictive than most any other addictive substance, and maybe even the most addictive of all, people still don't grasp how any administration of the substance can cause a relapse, even though they are taught this about most other addictive drugs. How often you will hear someone ask you when they find out you have quit the question, "You mean you haven't even had one?" This is such a ludicrous comment, and yet so common. Or how many times have you seen literature put out by medical organizations advising a recovering addict to not let a slip put them back to using? The message has been clear and consistent with other drugs, the message being don't slip.

Everyone here has been exposed to this discrepancy, not just since you quit, but also for years and decades while you still smoked. You now have to alter a way of thinking that is part of our culture, no matter what culture you are from. The pervasive attitude of the society around you is wrong.

The society may accept the danger of smoking but they do not yet grasp the concept of the addiction. You have to be smarter and more informed than the society around you, maybe even your health care provider. It is asking a lot of an individual to think different than the society as a whole, but it has to be done in regards to smoking.

The consequence of not becoming fanatical against a puff is too serious to just dismiss. It will be the loss of your quit, and that can easily translate to loss of your health and eventually loss of your life. You have to be vigilant at all times, to keep reminding yourself that you are a recovering addict.

There may be no signs of the addiction; thoughts of cigarettes may have become rare events now and maybe even non-existent. But even at this stage of the game, there is a silent addiction still there that can take you down with full force for making one miscalculation; thinking that maybe you are different.

You are no different than any other drug addict, whether it be from alcohol, cocaine, heroin, etc. You are an addict for life, but as long as you get the drug out of your system and never administer it again, you will never be set into the downward spiral that the drug sets into motion to its users. In regards to smoking, that spiral is loss of your Freedom, your health and your life, which means you can lose everything.

To keep what you've got, always remember to stay smoke free you must never take another puff!

OP posts:
charliecat · 31/01/2005 20:31

heres the site i get these things from ..whyquit.com I go there or here if im feeling rattly. It calms me down, rwassures me this is the way to go.
One super sentence grabs me back from the ashtray everytime...what makes you think its gonna be any easier tommorow?
Coz its not!

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whymummy · 31/01/2005 20:35

oh wow,thanks!! it makes lots of sense,when i gave up i was so possitive,had lots of possitive thoughts,health,children,(beauty lol),money,smell,etc,etc but now is like those thoughts have gone and this evil voice is just telling me to have one
i will keep coming here and reading all your advice
thank you so much

charliecat · 31/01/2005 20:35

Words that translate to RELAPSE

Slip
Just
Only
Puff
Cheat
Sneak
One
Accident
Mistake
Boo boo
Drag
Blunder
Error
Steal
Borrow
Stupidity
Ignorance
Miscalculation
Foolishness
Folly
Setback

No matter which word a person chooses to try to explain his or her relapse, the end result will be the same--the person is once again under total control of a drug that will rob him or her of his or her health and eventually, his or her life.

While there are many words and phrases that we could use to define success, for simplicity I will narrow it down to one phrase. To avoid having to use words like Slip or Just or Only or Puff or Cheat or Sneak or Accident or Mistake or Boo boo or Drag or Blunder or Error or Steal or Borrow or Setback is as simple as always sticking to the one phrase of just remembering to never take another puff!

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whymummy · 31/01/2005 20:40

one thing that keeps me going is my dad,he's 80 and gave up 30 years ago and he's always nagged me about it,when i told him i'd given up he was almost in tears and said he was so proud,bless,i can't let him down
i'm going to have a look at that site,thanks again

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