Page 29 | Just had the phone call to say ....STEVE IS COMING HOME ON MONDAY !

NorthernLurker · 23/04/2008 17:22

May I recommend some of these teeth protector things rugby players and boxers have? I suspect we may all be gnashing our teeth later. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh to your mil! Happy Birthday to Elliot and love to you and Steve

bossybritches · 23/04/2008 19:04

standing by with popcorn & hard hats

Arranges deckchairs in a row..........

Suggest MIL leaves the country NOW cos I can't hold the Collective back once the anger is upon us!!

pantiesandsussies · 23/04/2008 21:04

I feel sick with nerves about this. I truly do not know how anyone can do this for to their daughter in law let alone their son. Hand on heart if OJ was my dil I would be told to piss off for being over helpful. I certainly wouldn't behave like this. OJ, I'll be your mil, sack the old one, better still put her in a sack and Ill dump her in the sea.

pantiesandsussies · 23/04/2008 21:04

I feel sick with nerves about this. I truly do not know how anyone can do this for to their daughter in law let alone their son. Hand on heart if OJ was my dil I would be told to piss off for being over helpful. I certainly wouldn't behave like this. OJ, I'll be your mil, sack the old one, better still put her in a sack and Ill dump her in the sea.

Klaw · 23/04/2008 21:05

MIL said " everyone that knows me likes me, everyone that knows her hates her"

How many of us are there on MN?

I hope that agreement to have her visit with Steve alone was rescinded after that...

She has worn out any leeway given to her because her son is dying and that must obviously be hard to deal with. There are no excuses

bossybritches · 23/04/2008 21:50

hear hear Klaw

OK all aboard the MN minibus to go sort out the MIL??

Sorry actually I mean these

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 23/04/2008 23:07

Elliot has had a lovely day we had mates round for cake tonight and we videoed it all memories to keep, it was a bitter sweet day i know this will be the last birthday that Elliot has his Dad

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Izabella · 23/04/2008 23:15

OJ, that video will be so precious to the whole family in years to come. I can imagine that the day was difficult for you knowing it is most likely the last time that Steve will be able to celebrate Elliot's birthday with him. My heart goes out to you. I am glad though that Steve made it to this very important day. Hope you can sleep a bit better tonight. XXX

WendyWeber · 23/04/2008 23:16

oj, I can't believe that she had the nerve to say that in front of people who know her very well now and - at a guess - don't like her a bit. And who know you pretty well too and obv think you are fab and doing a fantastic job in terrible circumstances.

Are you really still going to let her visit on her own?

I'm glad Elliot had a nice day and that you have the memories saved for always

triplets · 23/04/2008 23:23

Dearest Oj,
How could she, how could she, selfish and hurtful to the end, what is she like as a grandmother, unbelievable. Hope it hasn`t spoilt your precious day, happy birthday to your lovely Elliot xx

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 23/04/2008 23:33

well she wants to vist tomorrow as it is her birthday, funnily enough she did not mention elliots birthday
at no point in the meeting did steves mum or brother ask how steve was
the meeting was interesting, she said that everyone who knew her knew that she was a very nice lady, she went onto say that her consultant for for arthirits had written a letter and given her a copy and on that very letter it said mrs E is a very nice lady, i did my best not to laugh.
she had a few tears when she wasn't getting her own way which were ignored.
when steves brother was allowed in the meeting at the end he said, his understanding about why steve needed the 24 hour care was because i didn't want to look after him and didn't want the responsiblity
that really upset me as it was obvious that is what his family belived even thou his mother had been at the meeting that said clearly that steve needed the 24hr care cos he was a suicide risk.
i got tearful then as i was both hurt and angry, the SW went out and came back with a drink of water and tissures for me, steves mum said i didn't get water & tissues

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islingtonponce · 23/04/2008 23:39

ooooh oj. words fail me. selfish selfish cow. hope you're as ok as circs permit. glad to hear the b/day went well! hope you haven't bought her a nice present.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 23/04/2008 23:41

i have brought her what i feel she deserves

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BetteNoire · 23/04/2008 23:44

OJ, do you remember that fab thread from a Christmas or two ago, that had present suggestions for the erm... less adored MIL?
It was very amusing and full of great ideas!

islingtonponce · 23/04/2008 23:45

(tis me, controlfreaky)
what oj..... a rotting fish? a book called "how to be a nice person"? a one way ticket to slough?

Izabella · 23/04/2008 23:50

OJ, I'm sorry but your MIL sounds completely self obsessed. Not even to wish her grandson a happy birthday or to ask how Steve is!!! I'm sure the SW saw right through her little performance. And that letter!!?? Annoyed at Steve's brother though, who seems to be two faced (mainly when around his mum). He just hasn't got the guts to stand up to her and admit that Steve needs 24 hour care and that she is wrong. This upset must be completely exhausting for you hun. Wish I lived closer & could help you more. As always, I am here for you if you want to chat. xxx

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 23/04/2008 23:51

i have brought her Feck all.
i got her a card, very plain but for the marie curie charity.

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Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 23/04/2008 23:59

i will ring you izabella maybe tomorrow night?
the SW brought her manager to the meeting and they were shocked at her behaviour as was the lovely Mac nurse.
i have had 2 teext from his sister which i have saved but choosen to ignore.
steves mum said she is putting in a complaint about Lee the carer as she said he was intimidating
it will be a nice surprize for her when she finds out that Lee is coming to work here full time soon
she denied telling steve that she didn't know if she would ever see him again cos that fucking bitch won't let me vist
well i will have it in writing very soon as Lee witnessed it and had completed an incident report of which i will get a copy

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bundle · 24/04/2008 00:04

lovely pic of Elliot! glad he had a nice birthday, and sorry you're still having to put up with shit, xxx

pantiesandsussies · 24/04/2008 00:08

What a Bitch your mil is. She'll get her just deserts in the end.
I am so glad that Elliot had a good birthday. What a cutie he is. (and the girls!)
Hugs.

WanderingTrolley · 24/04/2008 00:10

I do hope she enjoys her feck all. I was hoping wondering if you'd gone for an Oxfam catalogue pile o' shoite.

Oh MIL is so delusional. Clearly she is blinded by the white light shining out her own arse, up which she would appear to have shoved her head.

My upbringing led me to believe you couldn't get out of Hell. From your MIL's existence, it would appear I have been much misled. The woman belongs in the Devil's most pustulent haemmorhoid.

I very much like the sound of that Lee person. Glad your carers and SW have no bother seeing through MIL's madness.
Very nice touch, the Marie Curie card.

Top pic of Elliot, hope he had a good birthday.

Original poster

onlyjoking9329 · 24/04/2008 01:58

things going around in my head keeping me from sleep, tomorrow I will go and get her some flowers because steve would want to get her something and this is all about steve I can't and shouldn't make it about about me and how I feel. It will be the last gift Steve gives her and I can't spoilt it for him. It will totally confuse her and she will not have any reason to say I have been unreasonable.
hopefully I will sleep now.

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verylittlecarrot · 24/04/2008 02:19

oj, you are wonderful. Truly lovely. Sleep well.

Izabella · 24/04/2008 06:58

OJ, I really admire you for thinking of what Steve would want. Call me hun. I'll be free to chat tonight at about 8-9ish. xxx

throckenholt · 24/04/2008 07:16

I would have thought it is obvious he needs 24 hours care even if he wasn't contemplating suicide. You have 3 vulnerable children to look after as well - there is no way you can personally be responsible for looking after all Steve's needs 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

And I am amazed they your MIL thinks she could - because I think that sort of care is really beyond any single individual.

I would not worry about her impact on any meetings - after all you are next of kin, so you by far outweigh her impact. And from the sound of it - any of the care professionals can see she is unstable and unreliable at the moment.

Glad Elliot had a good birthday - even if his gran chose not to notice.