Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Help me, i have just had one of those phone calls you dread.

494 replies

largeginandtonic · 01/04/2008 13:28

DD has seen a consultant for tests recently, she is behind at school and seems emotionally immature. We had lots of academic tests done, took about 2 hours. She seemed to do ok.

We were then sent to the hospital for blood tests. I have no idea what for. The hospital just phoned me and said can the consultant come to the house one evening this week and speak to me about the results. They said they need my husband to be home too.

I am terrified. Has anyone else had a consultant come to the house? Am shaking and cant get hold of my husband or my mother.

She is coming tonight.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 02/04/2008 08:03

So sorry lg&t

chonky · 02/04/2008 08:05

Really sorry to hear your news LG&T. Sending you hugs.

GrapefruitMoon · 02/04/2008 08:18

Sorry to hear this LG&T - didn't get a chance to log on last night but was thinking of you...

3NAB · 02/04/2008 08:20

I didn't see this thread until a few minutes ago and read all the way up to the dx and burst in to tears. I am so sorry for you all.

I have no idea where you are or who you are but I have a childfree day if you want anything at all that I can help you with.

frangipan · 02/04/2008 08:47

so sorry you have recieved bad news....but you are a wonderful mum and sound so strong, sending across lots of supportive hugs to you all xx

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Mrsjaffabiffa · 02/04/2008 08:50

Morning lovely, just wanted to pop on to say, I hope you and N managed to get some rest last night and that maybe things will seem a little clearer today. I hope you managed to talk to your Mum.

Thinking of you all lots xxx

CorrieDale · 02/04/2008 08:51

I know two people with Turners - one is an adult and you wouldn't know if she didn't tell you. She is sad to be infertile - it can be a hard burden to bear - but she has a full and happy life. The Turners community is very active and supportive, and FWIS, loving. Call the numbers on the website - you will be in good hands. There's one woman called Arlene who is a moving spirit in the community and who is, quite simply, an angel.

Slubberdegullion · 02/04/2008 08:57

So sorry to hear your news

love to you and your family

as you can probably see the great support network that is mn is rallying round. There is always someone here who will listen and plenty of advice and support available.

take care

Mum2G · 02/04/2008 09:11

So sorry to hear your news, hope you managed to sleep some, thinking of you
xx

JamInMyWellies · 02/04/2008 09:12

how are you this morning my love?

LilRedWG · 02/04/2008 09:13

So sorry that it was bad news LGT. I hope you have lots of RL support. Please know that we are here for you too.

frumpygrumpy · 02/04/2008 09:14

Morning sweetheart. Expect today to feel shit. You are still in shock. Give yourself the time to feel bad. Later you can empower yourself with facts and an action plan but for now........ xxx

nailpolish · 02/04/2008 09:17

largeG&T

thinking of you, hope you are ok this morning

ajandjjmum · 02/04/2008 09:22

LG&T
I know you won't believe this, but it's not the end of the world.
My niece (actually dh's niece)has Turners. It was diagnosed about 15 years ago when she was nine.
She has finished her degree and is working her way up to being a psychologist. She well and truly led me astray when we met in London a few months ago - but then the wine was on a 2 for 1 offer!
She is no different to my other nieces of the same age (actually, I'm probably fonder of her - she's a more feeling person!).
Her boyfriend (the last in a series) is a bit of a prat, but we're all entitled to make a few mistakes at that age .
What I really want to say is that, yes, it's a bit of a bummer, but from what I have seen, it's not quality of life limiting. The children issue is a big one, but no-one is guaranteed babies, and at least if you know there is a problem, you can think through the ways around it.
HTH and a big hug.

hifi · 02/04/2008 09:22

im thinking of you and your family, im sure theres lots of support for you out there.

iamdingdong · 02/04/2008 09:24

oh LG&T I'm so sorry I wasn't around yesterday so missed this completely. You have so much support here and some great advice. Just remember she is still your lovely girl no matter what happens. Is DH aroudn at the mo or is he away? Lots of hugs for you all xx

Anna8888 · 02/04/2008 09:24

largeginandtonic - I am so sorry to read this about your DD. You must be devastated.

My parents have a very good friend whose granddaughter has Turner's Syndrome. She is an amazing girl, who got a very good degree and has spent her whole career working in the humanitarian field all over the third world and in the UK and brings her family a lot of pride and joy.

Lomond · 02/04/2008 09:25

I am so sorry to hear this, thinking of you and your family x

Psychomum5 · 02/04/2008 09:26

popping in to send goodmorning cyber hugs.

I hope that with some sleep, and lots of comfort and hugs from all you family, you will soon start to 'breath' again.

this is undoubtably a huge shock, to you as her mummy, and to the whole family. please take heed on the words of wise ones further down....she is still your darling daughter, still the wonderful little girl you gave birth to and have had in your heart since the day (probably) that you found out you were expecting her. all this doesn't change her, altho it will change the future you thought was hers. altho chnage is a big word, and not one I really mean........her future is now altered slightly. YES, she will need treament, and Yes, she will also now have a 'condition', but otherwise, nothing is different. her personality will give her the same opportunities as ever it would have, her family too will not be any different. she wil make friends the same, she will still be her....forever and always she will still be HER......

these next few days will take time.....you will have questions and fears and lots of tears, but ultimately, being the person you are and the mummy that you are (which just from the few posts I have read of yours I can see you are wonderful at both), you will come thro this.......as will your daughter.

piratecat · 02/04/2008 09:27

Sorry you had such a shock with this news LG&T.

I hope today you can get some support from here and the sites mentioned.

Egg · 02/04/2008 09:29

LG&T, so sorry the news was not better. Was thinking of you and your family last night.

Original poster
largeginandtonic · 02/04/2008 09:37

Morning.

I cant thank you all enough for the lovely kind posts. You have all been wonderful. I will read through again and make some notes as i know some of you know lots about it and are in similar situations.

Today i am lost. I did not sleep well and have had it turning over and over in my head. I am fine until i see her and then lose it a bit. I am determined not to show it. A bloody song on the radio nearly finished me off on the school run.

I just feel like she is in for a world of pain. Life is hard enough without having this contend with. She is such a girly girl too.

I keep placing myself in her shoes and cant begin to imagine how she will cope with daily injections and worse her infertility. She will have to have hormone replacement therapy essentially when she is 11\12 to mimick all the hormone changes that she would be going through then. Will she feel less womanly? I mean of course she will.

DH has aid she wont feel like that because she will never know what it is like to feel like me. She will never have those thoughts because i am only looking at it from a perspective whereby they have been taken away from me, she wont have them to start with, That does not really make sense does it.

I had thought about freezing my eggs for her, although is that odd because then she would be giving birth (if IVF worked) to her sister?

I am also hugely grateful thet we have found out, if this was not diagnosed until she (failed) to reach puberty then we could do nothing about her tiny frame and it would be such a shock to her. This way we can plan and make it a normal part of her life.

Then i think ignorance is bliss, 'why cant we just rewind' the song was telling me on the radio.

OP posts:
frumpygrumpy · 02/04/2008 09:40

Sweetheart, you are grieving. DH is right, she won't know what it is she has lost, it is harder for you. She will grow up with this and that will make it something she just knows as herself.

Freezing you eggs sounds like something worth investagting. It wouldn't be her sister, it would be an egg.

3NAB · 02/04/2008 09:49

Just a quick thought - I heard an article on the radio in February about a lady who was having her eggs frozen for her daughter to use in the future if she wanted. I don't recall what the reason was but it sounded like a really positive thing to do.

oooggs · 02/04/2008 09:51

hi there LG&T - N is right, she won't know because she won't have lost anything. I am not suprised you have been up thinking about - who wouldn't.