Cancer Support Thread 94 - Sweetness and light - the two noblest of things.

[LemonDrizzle10]

@tilllly and Daisy.

I can’t have immunotherapy unless I have one more go with the chemo. Are you squamous cell p16 as well? My groin is aching me where it is and I don’t know if I’m imagining it or not. He said there was inflammation there but was hoping it was the radiotherapy. I’ll find out tomorrow.

the robot I highly recommend to anyone who has cats that have litter trays. I could never go back.

My mum is currently having weekly Paclitaxel and three weekly Carboplatin chemotherapy. She's been advised to have the spring booster but was wondering if it made people on Chemo feel unwell?

@EachandEveryone chemo didn’t work for me and immunotherapy was affecting my kidneys so it’s been stopped for the moment- will know more on Friday- possibly clinical trials? I started with two raised lumps now I’ve got I think 5 on one side and one on the other. To say I’m terrified for Friday is an understatement! Yes am squamous cell but don’t know what p16 is?

Hi @scoobyandshaggy this thread is really for those who have or might have cancer. I hope your mum is doing okay. I had chemotherapy in 2020 and 2022 and 2023 and have now had 8 Covid vaccines. I think being on chemo you have a lesser reaction because your immune system is shut down.
I had one today and haven’t even got a sore arm.

P16 is indicates hpv in 90% of cases. It came up in the biopsy. Still don’t know where the Buggar came from.

Hi @TopOfTheCliff

I asked my dd to post. I was on the chemo ward and was debating it with her.

Thankyou for your reply.

I'm also p16 positive no idea what that means tbh.

Hello everyone,
Hope you are all doing as well as you can right now.

I have a question. My fit note runs until May 30th ( I work in a school, so half term break). I'm due a review with OH ( last one was March 20th). Is it down to me to get this organised, or the school? Does OH have the final
say on when I return? I'm worried I still won't have the mental and physical capacity to fulfil my role properly ( I work as a TA in an SEN school) However, I could do some of my role easily. TA's are used for a huge number of tasks, including covering for absent teachers. I would like to look for a less demanding role, but worried about going into something new, with a. A hideous menopause and b. The cancer.

Where do we sit with the equality/ disability act? Or is it just a case of getting on with it now?

The other thing is, I feel " different " to my colleagues. I feel like a different person now. I have SBC and they don't. Not that it should make any difference. I don't want to hear the " my aunt had bc, she's fine now"

Don't know what I'm trying to say really, except i feel I've come out of a thick fog and can't figure which direction to go in. Totally weird!

I believe you can make your own OH appointment. Ours just tells work what we ask them to. Work have to make some allowances that they suggest.

i actually cant think straight. Im terrified to tell work Ill be going off again.

my lymph nodes have grown so its back on chemo. Has anyone done it twice for the same thing. Im devasted but not surprised. Its bad enough i cant see out of my eye and now I have to go to the surgeon for a check up. Crazy day.

I need a picc line next week. I will be on FLOX if anyone has done this please let me know. Apparently it will be attached to me for two days at home. Im scared.

on a lighter note, my pension came through so im going to get my microblading done on Friday in Mayfair. Very fancy.

@Enigma52
Hi! How you doing in yourself?
I've just asked DP about your return to work (RTW) issue and he says it depends on several things.
The first question is whether you feel fit enough to return to work?
The second question is what did it say on your last OH assessment say?
If OH said that you were unfit (UF) to work and that you would need another OH assessment then your employer can not force you to RTW until you have seen OH. It is your employer's job to chase this up unless OH specified that you should contact them directly when you felt ready to RTW or treated had ended.
Why do you want to return to work? Is it because you feel that you should or that sick pay has run out?

@MothralovesGojira I feel okay, but that's because I've had a three week treatment break and I'm only 3 days into the new treatment cycle.

The last report deemed me unfit for work and they would review in 5 weeks ( that was on March 20th) so overdue now. Employer accepted that.

I feel I need to return for financial reasons. I receive PIP but that won't be enough to keep going on. I do feel relatively well, but unsure how long that will last. I do not want to RTW and then have to go off again.

Are you claiming UC? I found it very helpful

No, not claiming UC. We don't qualify unfortunately.

@Enigma52
Sorry to ask but what treatment are you undergoing at the moment and how long for?

@MothralovesGojira Ribociclib and letrozole. I'm on it for the foreseeable now.

Wow - that is a double whammy of side effects @Enigma52
Are you on full PIP for care & mobility?
I know what you mean about financial considerations. I'm off for two weeks at least (while the anti-inflammatory drugs for my joint pain clear my system so that the GP can investigate my stomach pain) and using up my precious sick pay which stands at 21 weeks and that makes me anxious. We can just get by on DP's pay and PIP once SSP has gone but it will eat into DP's savings quite badly. We don't qualify for UC and I don't qualify for ESA. I'm already worrying as rent will take just under half of DP's wages once my sick pay stops as we live in the south.

Anyway, because OH stated on your last report that you were unfit to work, you will need to see them again particularly if you think that you're fit within limits. You should make a list now of duties that you think you can manage with support and which ones you definitely will not be able to do in readiness for your next OH assessment.
Has your employer been doing welfare checks at all?

@MothralovesGojira Yes I receive full PIP. Do you receive sick pay now, or are you back at work? I've had 6 months of full pay, but no idea what I will get on month 7.

Good plan re: making a duties list. Will get into that tomorrow. It feels a bit like dictating my job role now, but not much I can do right now.

The Head has phoned a few times, to see how I am.

@Enigma52
I'm currently off sick but hoping to go back to work about the 20th May. I get 28 weeks of SSP of which the first 6 weeks includes employer sick pay. I've used 4 weeks since March while I was having scans, seeing the hospital, deciding what to do etc. I had norovirus in early December and had two weeks off as my stomach wouldn't settle back down so I've used up 6 weeks. When I go back (if I go back) I should have 20 weeks left of SSP. I've already had a chat with my manager about my return and what I can manage as I want to work for as long as possible. For example I will no longer do the more active bits of my job and will have more breaks and will look at doing half days etc. My manager is also updating my death in service benefits and nominee details. My company isn't big on using OH services so it's never been suggested that I have an OH assessment but my manager & I just muddled along like blind tortoises last time I had cancer because HR is so dire.
How's your anxiety going and how are you managing?

@MothralovesGojira SSP isn't much is it? I think what i will do, is make a list of duties which I can do comfortably now. The trouble is, at this time of year, school is chaotic; there is SO much going on now and it will be difficult not to become immersed very quickly ( particularly as I look well, have my hair etc ). Ideally I would like to drop a day, particularly as I have my PIP to fall back on now, for three years anyway.

@MothralovesGojira the anxiety is there, it's just contained because I've deliberately not exposed myself to any stressful situations. I've got to start driving again; I stopped as have felt so ill for months and now I've lost my confidence!

Hi @tothelefttotheleft you must be nearly through chemo now. I feel bad I never posted you the ice gloves due to my hip replacement. Did you get hold of any? Have you had any neuropathy?
Love to you and your daughter.
Top

@Enigma52
What you need to tell yourself is that whatever goes on at work should not concern you and does not fall within your remit. You have to put yourself first and not worry/feel guilty about your colleagues - that is your employer's job.
Your only concern should be YOU and how you can work the best you can without putting yourself at risk of exhaustion and stress. Chaos? Not my problem. Staff shortages? Not my problem. My health & wellbeing? Yep, that's my priority. It sounds selfish but employers and colleagues see you back and they quickly forget how ill you've been and how ill you still are plus there's the temptation to do more because you want to be helpful and be a team player. You have to be very clear to your colleagues that you are still in treatment and be upfront that you're a different person now.

As for driving - have you thought about having some refresher lessons when you feel able? You can ask for a dual control car and see how it goes.
My youngest DC's psychologist described anxiety as a party gate crasher who is expected at some indeterminate point and when they do appear smashes up your CD collection and pisses in the crisps before fucking off with a bottle of vodka!

@MothralovesGojira Wow, your advice is bang on and everything you say re: work is true! I just read the work bulletin for the next few weeks and nearly fainted. BUT, as you point out, much of that work is either beyond my pay grade or doesn't directly concern me, yet there will be the expectation to " help out" and of course be that all encompassing " team player". I don't even know how I'm going be at the end of this treatment cycle. I felt fine until the end of the last one, then boom, it hit me.
I'm going to wait until the end of this treatment cycle I think and see where the land lies. You are right, the minute I set foot through that gate, that will be it; I will be hitting the ground running!!

Love the anxiety analogy; that describes it perfectly!

@MothralovesGojira Thankyou! 🙂

@MothralovesGojira DP said he would sit in the passenger seat, whilst I drive. If that fails, refresher lessons it is. Thank goodness for PIP!