Daughter with hairy legs

[cp5kc]

Hi I have a 10 nearly 11 year old daughter who has quite thick dark hair on her legs. Over the last couple of years it has started to bother her more and more. She won't go swimming with anyone except family and is worried about wearing shorts in the summer. I have tried to reassure her that it's totally normal and we all have it but if course what she sees is other women, including me, shaving or removing hair in any way. Many of her friends have hair on their legs as well but none quite as dark and "obvious". Does anyone have any tips to share on supporting her to handle this? What I'd really like to do is find a way to support her to cope with it until she's a bit older and mature enough to decide what she wants to do about it. Would love to hear others experiences. And yes I know I should probably stop shaving my legs etc too but it is a 30 year habit and deeply rooted expectation that I'm trying to break 🤷 I would love it if she could find the confidence to be proud of who she is and how she looks no matter what. But I also know that this is easier said than done for many tweenagers.

FFS

What is with all the madness of not letting your DD shave their embarrassingly hairy legs

No one wants or likes hairy fucking legs

I was about that age when my mother shaved my legs for the first time. Why wouldn’t you if it bothers her?

yes what everyone else says!

I was a hairy child and am a hairy adult. My mother told me only sluts shave their legs and bikini line (I am 50 now and feel that was sort of 'normal' back then? Not 100% sure as my mother had some strange ideas anyway and was quite abusive generally) so i suffered alot. I recall trying to tuck my pubic hair into my swim suit as young as 11 and had a strong line of hair from belly button down and was very much made fun of. One of the results is I have extreme body shame. I shave everything incouding my face as i have a very hairy chin and i am saving up for laser treatment.

let her shave, or wax or cream. If she wishes to or is bothered by it. It's normal to have hair and it's also normal to remove it if that is what one wishes to do.

Your daughter was me as a child.
I told my mum how I was being laughed at and felt so embarrassed by my hair. She wouldn't help me,said I was too young. After being extremely unhappy for about 2 years I then got hold of a razor and did it myself, of course I cut myself a lot as I'd not been shown.

Your daughter has confided in you. She's not a baby. You remove your own hair so why can't she.

I have the phillips lady shave. Rechargeable. Can be used wet or dry. I use it dry. It is very safe and easy to use. Mine is shaped to look like a razor, which is the more expensive one, but slightly cheaper ones are available

My DD2 is hairy. Italian genes and a condition called adrenarche are the cause. She had armpit hair from age 6. She's now 10. She got embarrassed about her armpit hair and hairy legs so I showed her how to shave with an electric razor at age 9. She can shave whenever she wants. She's now happy to swim, run about in shorts and vests and to do PE at school. I spoke to her about why she doesn't have to remove it, but it's up to her. Please let her remove hair she doesn't want.

Just let her shave her legs! I also had quite dark hair on my legs in Y6, I started using my dad's shaver to take it off until my mum bought me my own razor and showed me how to use it safely.

I've just ordered this on Amazon.

Is it something that needs to be done daily in your experience? I currently shave my hairy awful chin twice a day and am not sure how to manage that other than laser (I can't cope with the idea of letting the hair grow in between treatments unless I become a hermit).

I shave legs about once a week and pits whenever I am taking the dcs swimming.

Thanks! Sounds ideal. I might offer to get DD one when the weather warms up.

Omg. I had no idea so many mothers stopped girls shaving their legs. It's awful.

Why? To keep them a child? To feel bad about themselves and ugly. Why?

To keep them from growing up 'too quickly' I think

My electric epilator is not more than uncomfortable - it certainly isn't painful. The beauty of this is that it gradually makes the hair give up growing as it is pulling them out by the roots.

I'm another example of someone with thick, dark hairs on my legs. When I was younger I was bullied at secondary school for not shaving my legs. My mum refused to allow me to do so until my ballet teacher got involved and said that I either shaved my arm pits or didn't take part in the show as it wasn't nice to look at (great for my self esteem!) My mum allowed me to shave from then onwards but was very reluctant. She decided to buy me a lady shave as it would be safer than a razor. We tried veet as well but my hairs were just too coarse so it didn't work. I still have ridiculously hairy legs when I can't be bothered to shave them but spend all winter wearing thick tights. However, my 5 yr old dc was disgusted when they saw my bare legs this morning. I have to shave them most days in the summer months.

I remember being in a gym lesson at school when I was about 12 and one of the other girls said “hey hey hey, it’s the gibbon!” She wasn’t a nasty girl so it was jokey, but I was mortified. Somehow the other girls shaving had passed me by. I soon put that right 🐵

I’d also vote for a lady shave. Maybe something lightweight in a pretty colour so it’s more of an accessory kind of thing. I use one myself these days and it’s fine for maintaining a fuzz free look, twice a week before the morning shower keeps the gibbon at bay.

Why on earth are you controlling her decisions of her body , do you control how her hair on her head is styled? Seriously step up and stop giving others a reason to make her childhood miserable.

If you have the notion of being natural then grow your own! Honestly sometimes I despair.

Life is hard enough for girls this age - this problem is easily solved.

Sorry, I'd shave them. She has something she's so self conscious about, that can be easily fixed. I understand what you're trying to teach her, to be comfortable with herself, but many women shave, shape (eyebrows) etc, that I'd just do this. If it's going to increase her confidence and let her play with her friends, I wouldn't be trying to out her off

Please just let her remove the hair. My Mum wouldn't let me for years. It's too controlling.

I am another whose parents wouldn’t let me remove my dark leg hair, I was bullied about it and eventually stole my dad’s razor. Cut my legs quite a bit while shaving them, but it was still a complete relief. An electric razor would’ve been easier and safer.

Nowadays I don’t care about hair removal particularly, and often let my leg hair/armpit hair grow, but as a young girl it was a big deal to me.

What a palaver. Just give her options on how to remove it

I've just turned 40 and am reasonably confident and I wouldn't be willing to walk around with noticeably hairy legs.

I can only imagine how a young child feels, especially when her friend's aren't experiencing the same thing.

Given she has delicate skin, probably best to void waxing, veet or laser and just how her how to do it with a lady shave or razor.

She's probably want to do her armpits shortly anyway.

My mum was great about this (and most things!) I have black hair and very hairy legs. I just used her razor one day in the bath when I was about 12 or 13. She didn't bat an eyelid and just asked if I needed help and if I'd like to choose a razor for myself when we went shopping.

Makes such a difference to have an understanding parent with no arbitrary rules.

Urgh yes at the 'growing up too quickly' message @AssassinsEyebrow - I mean, what the hell? A 10/11/12 year old who wants to shave her legs become suddenly slutty or something?

It's horrible but I do remember that sense of things from my childhood. Yuck.

It might be a good idea to look for a swimming costume with a skirt or long shorts if you teach her to shave, as thick hairs that are shaved up at the bikini line can then grow in under the skin and be tricky to handle. It's easier with longer swimming gear so that that area doesn't need to be shaved.

This is nice
https://tinyurl.com/yc8sxs8z

I would shave tbh. I always did, and didn't think anything of it. I used to have a ladies' razor, but in recent years I realised that men's ones are much better and have now bitten the bullet and bought myself a braun men's razor. Saves a whole world of trouble. Wouldn't suggest it for a young teen with a forming sense of identity though. Nice feminine one would be better .

She can make the decision not too in her own time. If its preventing her from enjoying her childhood I think it would be a great idea to get her a razor. It'll give her some autonomy over how she feels out in the world. If shaving makes her confident, then let her do it.

I have thick dark hair and went to a very rough high school, it's not an experience I'd care to repeat. I went to school in socks hairy legs and all and just felt mortified. People were asking if I was afraid of the blade! Kind of sad because I didn't care at all and other people did make me care BUT I grew back into not caring so much. Teenage years are already awkward enough as it is and while theres a balance to be struck here, I hope I would be bolstering confidence wherever I could.