Daughter with hairy legs

[cp5kc]

Hi I have a 10 nearly 11 year old daughter who has quite thick dark hair on her legs. Over the last couple of years it has started to bother her more and more. She won't go swimming with anyone except family and is worried about wearing shorts in the summer. I have tried to reassure her that it's totally normal and we all have it but if course what she sees is other women, including me, shaving or removing hair in any way. Many of her friends have hair on their legs as well but none quite as dark and "obvious". Does anyone have any tips to share on supporting her to handle this? What I'd really like to do is find a way to support her to cope with it until she's a bit older and mature enough to decide what she wants to do about it. Would love to hear others experiences. And yes I know I should probably stop shaving my legs etc too but it is a 30 year habit and deeply rooted expectation that I'm trying to break 🤷 I would love it if she could find the confidence to be proud of who she is and how she looks no matter what. But I also know that this is easier said than done for many tweenagers.

@EvenStillIWantTo just because I was brought up in the 00’s where body hair was seen as ugly doesn’t mean I agree with it. Ofc I want my daughter to have better choices than that, as any parent would want better for their children. Hence the OP being concerned about her child’s exposure to body hair being the removal of it.

It might be for you but might not be for others 👍

My tip on helping her handle this is to buy her a decent razor and let her get on with shaving her legs before she borrows your blunt one, does it herself, and then tries to hide it from you. Then buy her some summer shorts and let her get on with enjoying her childhood.

I was a hairy child and teenager. Absolutely hated it and had an impact on my self esteem.

as soon as I started earning money i paid for laser. It is not completely pain free but really worthed in my opinion.

not sure how old you need to be to start, but if I had daughters with dark unwanted body hair I would 100% happily pay for laser.

shaving thick dark hair sometimes makes it thicker!

Support her by teaching her how to remove the hair. Once the hair is gone she can think of more interesting things like swimming with her friends. If you don’t, you risk her stealing her dad or your razor and making a mess of it.

Many girls her age will be removing hair. I remember doing my under arms at that age.

If she's bothered by it though then she probably wants to remove it. Body positivity doesn't mean everyone in a natural state it means they do what they want. Leave hair, fine..shave hair, fine. You can argue that it is society that makes her embarrassed, maybe have a chat with her about how many women do shave or otherwise remove hair and how it's largely because they're made to feel that hairy is unfeminine even though it's natural, give her the facts so she can make up her own mind.

Offer her different hair removal options to see what she is comfortable with. I can recommend the phillips rechargeable lady shave. Can be used wet or dry (i use it dry). There are no sharp blades and very easy to use.

I'd let her remove the hair. I was around that age or only slightly older when I shaved my legs for the first time and all my girl friends were already doing it. If she wants to decide when she's older that she wants to embrace her body hair and stop shaving, she will do that. But right now she can't make that decision and just needs support to eliminate this source of worry and stress, so that she can enjoy her youth xx

I'm hairy and remember that feeling at 9,10,11. I was desperate to be rid of it. My mum eventually let me have a lady shave razor at 12. But looking back I just wished she had taken me to get waxed. Shaving 100% made my hair worse. Maybe hair removal cream for now. Then as soon as she is a teenager then take her for permanent hair removal.

It's for you though...

And yes I know I should probably stop shaving my legs etc too

But why? You won't get a Good Feminist badge for being hairy.

WTF! You support her by showing her how to remove it because it upsets her.

At some point she may decide not to remove her body hair but at 10 she wants and needs to fit in.

I was about this age when I started nicking my parents' razors and very dangerously and secretly having a go at shaving my legs and arms. Likelihood is, if you don't show her, she will just try and figure it out by herself.

Don’t be like my mum who wouldn’t let me shave my legs until I was at least 13 and a half! I remember asking her if I could shave my legs at 12, when I was in Year 7 and other girls were starting to be mean to the girls who didn’t shave their legs yet.

I don’t know why I wasn’t allowed. It certainly wasn’t in the name of feminism! More a form of parental control I suspect!

Anyway, I just used to steal my mum’s razor in the end. Until I finally plucked up the courage to ask again and was allowed a razor only. No shaving cream was permitted. Who know’s why?!

If she’s feeling self-conscious, please support her - my mum’s actions didn’t bode well for our relationship in my teens.

Help her use Veet or get them waxed! Far better to get rid of the hair if it makes her happier!

Agree with this. Let your own daughter decide for herself what she wants to do with her body.

Don't let her walk about with legs like an ape, help her!! Teach her how to shave them, or wax them!

I would allow her to remove it if she wants to but recommend waxing if the hair is thick as with shaving it grows straight back and it will end up being a daily hassle. Then save up for laser treatment when she is old enough. I am also all for feminism and being natural (no make up, nail varnish or hair dye) but consider hair removal essential for me and I do it for myself not what others may think, if need be I go around hairy but much prefer feeling smooth than hairy or stubby. If it was a boy with a moustache would you let them shave?

I don't remember exactly the age but quite young my parents got me an epilator (an electric device that plucks the hairs out) as I found another girl in my class had it. I was so grateful and I have used one of those on and off alongside waxing and it was effective although a bit painful but you get used to it. Now I'm finally having laser done, wish I'd done it years ago!

At that age I just used my dads razor.
I would help her to remove the hair.you really don’t want her being bullied by boys and girls.

You're being "that mother."

Following with interest. So there are electric shavers that are good for legs? Are they specifically marketed to women, or do you just buy the men's ones?

I've got a Braun epilator, but wouldn't give it to my preteen - too painful

Electric depilator which pulls the hairs out. Get her one now! It does a good immediate job and gradually results in the hairs giving up, which is what she wants.
I cannot imagine that any principle is worth making your DD feel socially uncomfortable at a time when acceptance by peers is central to her life.
It is bordering on controlling and cruel to be honest.

I'm pretty good with pain and don't blink at other painful methods of hair removal but I couldn't take epilation when I tried it!

Let her shave her legs! I think in year 6 I started shaving my legs.

As much as it would be lovely for her not to feel the need to shave her legs this is unfortunately not the world we live in. I don’t think I’d like my daughter to feel self conscious and uncomfortable.

Shave her bloody legs like a normal DM