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Daughter with hairy legs

144 replies

cp5kc · 08/04/2024 16:40

Hi I have a 10 nearly 11 year old daughter who has quite thick dark hair on her legs. Over the last couple of years it has started to bother her more and more. She won't go swimming with anyone except family and is worried about wearing shorts in the summer. I have tried to reassure her that it's totally normal and we all have it but if course what she sees is other women, including me, shaving or removing hair in any way. Many of her friends have hair on their legs as well but none quite as dark and "obvious". Does anyone have any tips to share on supporting her to handle this? What I'd really like to do is find a way to support her to cope with it until she's a bit older and mature enough to decide what she wants to do about it. Would love to hear others experiences. And yes I know I should probably stop shaving my legs etc too but it is a 30 year habit and deeply rooted expectation that I'm trying to break 🤷 I would love it if she could find the confidence to be proud of who she is and how she looks no matter what. But I also know that this is easier said than done for many tweenagers.

OP posts:
WhiteLeopard · 08/04/2024 17:04

I'm a feminist too OP, but I let my DD start shaving her legs as soon as she wanted to. It's embarrassing for her otherwise.

SparkyBlue · 08/04/2024 17:06

Why won't you let her remove the hair? Ive an 11 year old and she has been getting her eyebrow and upper lip waxed for ages now. Otherwise she'll have a monobrow and dark upper lip hair . She hasn't had any issue with body hair yet but if she does I'll be happy to help her out there as well.

40andlovelife · 08/04/2024 17:06

She can also know that hairy legs aren't necessarily synonymous with feminism! You can believe in equality AND removing unsightly body hair at the SAME time! It's not anti equality to have smooth body parts

Ilovelurchers · 08/04/2024 17:06

I bought my daughter an electric shaver when she mentioned it bothered her. She doesn't always bother to shave now but she"s got the option. She was 11 when she started getting bothered about it.

ATGforever · 08/04/2024 17:08

I also think you should let her remove the hair. It's obviously bothering her a lot. It's unlikely in the long term that she'd thank you for preventing her from removing it.

SendARavenToRiverRun · 08/04/2024 17:09

Literally one of the easiest problems to solve. Shave, wax, Veet. Easy. It's cruel for her to miss out on stuff when it's such an easy fix.

StoneWaterWheel · 08/04/2024 17:10

Veet, shave or if her skin tone is light, IPL for permanent removal. She doesn't like the hair so let her remove it.

Runningbird43 · 08/04/2024 17:11

It’s hypocritical you shaving but struggling to justify “allowing” her.

why do you shave? Because it’s social norm and you think people will judge you for leaving your leg hair natural?

it’s the same for her. If you do it, you have absolutely no grounds for stopping her.

ParsonsPont · 08/04/2024 17:11

Don’t embarrass your daughter for the sake of teaching her about feminism. I had super hairy legs with thick dark hair and it was that age that I became aware. Fortunately my mum bought me veet (or immac I think it used to be) and I used that for a year until I started shaving, but I was always conscious that I was hairy and different compared to other girls.

15 years later I lasered them away but even as an adult, it wasn’t easy having super hairy legs.

She will always resent you if you don’t let her shave / remove it.

LaLaLouella · 08/04/2024 17:11

Just help her to remove her leg hair if she finds it embarrassing.

And if you decide that she has to come to terms with having hairy legs then at the very least you need to stop shaving your own legs - it would be hypocritical not to.

Ladybird69 · 08/04/2024 17:17

I was your daughter, my mum wouldn’t allow me to shave my legs until I was 13! (I also had upper lip hair 😞) It made my life a misery and was teased by everyone Please let your daughter shave her legs and whatever else she needs to do.

Startingagainandagain · 08/04/2024 17:19

@thistimelastweek
'Why let her be miserable about something so easily fixed?'

This.

I don't see the point of letting your daughter miss out on fun activities with her friends and potentially being bullied because of this when there are so many, easy ways to remove the hairs on her legs safely.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 08/04/2024 17:24

Buy her an electric razor or hair removal cream both safe temporary options

Nori10 · 08/04/2024 17:29

This was me. Please let her shave or use hair removal cream if that's what she wants. I know it shouldn't matter, but unfortunately women being hairy is still not accepted as normal by lots of people. My mum wouldn't let me shave and I just wore long sleeves and leggings all year round to hide my hairiness. I wish she'd just let me remove it because as soon as she let me, that's what I did anyway and have done ever since (so it just delayed the inevitable). I got an IPL machine as an adult and only had to use it a few times to significantly reduce hair growth on my arms and legs. Not sure from what age they can be used?

bellinisurge · 08/04/2024 17:29

Give her the tools/cream to make the decision herself. Offer what help advice she needs with her decision.

azteccandle · 08/04/2024 17:32

Get her a lady shave - or equivalent - and show her how to use it. Safer than razors.

Personally I would steer away from harsh chemicals (eg Veet) at this age

EvenStillIWantTo · 08/04/2024 17:33

So you're expecting your 10 year old to buck societal trends that you, a fully grown adult, don't feel able to?

Get the girl a bloody razor!

WingSlutz · 08/04/2024 17:35

This is a non problem. Show her how to shave her legs! Bloody hell. I couldn't let a child of mine feel embarrassed and self conscious to the point of missing out on normal activities when there is such an easy and obvious solution.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 08/04/2024 17:36

I shave my 11 year old dd's legs and armpits every week.. don't make it into a big deal, it's just like brushing your teeth

Fiddlerdragon · 08/04/2024 17:37

Ffs op just let her shave her legs??

EvenStillIWantTo · 08/04/2024 17:41

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 08/04/2024 17:36

I shave my 11 year old dd's legs and armpits every week.. don't make it into a big deal, it's just like brushing your teeth

You shave your 11 year old? Mine would have spontaneously combusted if I had tried that!

NerrSnerr · 08/04/2024 17:46

EvenStillIWantTo · 08/04/2024 17:33

So you're expecting your 10 year old to buck societal trends that you, a fully grown adult, don't feel able to?

Get the girl a bloody razor!

I agree with this.

Let her choose what she wants to do with her own leg hair, just like you do with your own.

rainbowbee · 08/04/2024 17:48

Just help her get rid of the hair! I stole razors from the bin at that age because my mother was and is impossible about body hair removal, make up, a hair cut she didn't choose for me etc.

howdoyou123 · 08/04/2024 17:50

Go to Tesco now

Get hair removal

Daughter can chose what she wants to do. She may try it or not. She may try it and live it she may try it and hate it. Her choice. That is how you be supportive

Problem solved

Flyhigher · 08/04/2024 17:53

Sorry. I don't understand this post.
Why can't she shave her legs?
Especially if you are.
Don't see anything wrong in shaving legs.
Especially if dark. My hair is dark. And I'd be mortified as a teen having hairy legs.

I've had mine lazered now. Don't regret it at all.

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