Cancer Support Thread 93 - The Thread for the Dread and the Not Yet Dead? Everything you need to know about Cancer but didn’t want to know

[LemonDrizzle10]

Shiny new thread.

@lucysmam not great. Had a chest X-ray and lung is not identifiable from all the fluid. No wonder I've been feeling grim. Staying in tonight, to get it all drained.

Have you got to the dental hospital yet?

Yes @Whatevershallidowithmylife I meant you can’t submerge it. I used to sit in the (very clean and exclusive) hot tub with the Limbo on my arm out of the water.
It was lovely swimming today. No tubes, no wounds, no bald head, just an old woman hobbling on crutches and doing weird exercises! I fell asleep this afternoon after the exertion. I might need a new costume as mine is rather baggy and faded.

Blooming more news for me. I went to a play last week and noticed Sarah Jessica Parkers head was missing. Went for an eye check up today and they found a hole at the back of my eye. Thats all i bloody need! Anyway i have a letter and have to go to the emergency eye clinic tomorrow. I dont think i can face having any more time off work.

No, fuck shit bugger damn

First period of time in weeks, where I've not got chest pain, and I coughed and pulled a muscle in my side
One of those that send shooting pain through your body every time you move

There's only one thing for it. Wine

(Appreciate people are suffering much more than that, but this is a princess Tilly moment)

Oh goodness @Enigma52 no wonder indeed! Is it draining now?

I.

Am.

Fuming.

Are you all settled in, with popcorn?

Good...then I'll begin.

I still have my wonky fucking tooth in place. You see, there was an emergency at the dental hosp earlier in the afternoon...

(Key word - earlier)

that they hadn't caught up from. However, not one single soul out of the 7 or so milling behind the reception desk called any of the later afternoon patients to let them know of the backlog & reschedule. They all were sat staring at the standing room only waiting room when we walked in. Tbf, it was carnage, as waiting rooms go, but why not try to stop it filling up further!?

So...I shrugs...think to myself "it's a bit chocka today" and goes for a wee (as you do). As I lock the door, hear my name and A N Other called - say to myself "um, not together, no" and carries on in the loo, thinking maybe it's to check...I don't know what...and tbh, I don't want to share my details with "Dave" anyway 🤷‍♀️

Come out to "deep breath, smile and don't over-react" from my dad.

They'd only FUCKING TOLD MY DAD BEFORE TELLING ME that my tooth wasn't coming out today (work will be pleased...yay 🙄). And then tried to book me for MID APRIL!!! Um, no. I have been waiting months for it to come out, so that I can have the last piece in the medication jigsaw for now.

Scrabble to find something sooner = 2nd April - nope. Friday 8am - nope, can't get there on the bus without being stood about for ages & hassle at work.

27th March - also nope - the appointment to check it's healed is on 4th April so I can at least have it on the 6th cycle of the others.

Oh...there is one on Saturday at 10:30? Why not just offer that first instead of try holding onto it & making me wait longer ffs!?

I have had 2 restorative wines and am

Still.

Fucking.

Fuming.

More that they TOLD MY FUCKING DAD BEFORE ME!!!

I do not have a carer who I need to speak for me! I have not given ANYONE permission to share info about me with anyone else unless in an absolute emergency. I am a capable (if a bit moany) 42 year old woman, not a small child.

And yet they TOLD MY DAD BEFORE ME.

FUCKING FUMING!

<fumes off to make a brew>

Oh @Tilllly that made me laugh after my epic rant 🙈 sorry! (Would happen to me too, you're not alone).

<still fuming>

@lucysmam
Piss up... brewery

@Tilllly yes please! (I know that's not what you meant, but it sounds a mighty fine idea right now!). How's Daisy Dog?

@lucysmam 🤣🤣🤣
Am sending gin

She's wonderful

I think a small floofy being would help the fume 😊 seriously, I'm at the point of smoke coming out of my ears!

The middle picture's my favourite.

<fumes in corner>

Now I really want some wine! Will have to go and examine the wine rack and see what is lurking since Christmas.
@Enigma52 I hope you are draining well and are not too uncomfortable. This thread can only cope with one agonising pain per day and today that is for Princess @Tilllly . That’s probably why @lucysmam couldn't have her tooth pulled out too.
All quiet here. DH defrosted something for supper had cooked and frozen and we couldn’t tell what it was! I knew I should have send a Sharpie to label the containers.

@TopOfTheCliff you are probably onto something there 🤔 Enjoy your wine - mine was Costcutter's finest 🤣

I'm quite good at identifying the frozen contents of unlabelled boxes! & I still eat whatever it is even if I was wrong 🤷‍♀️

@TopOfTheCliff
@demivolte

Thankyou for your replies.

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me joining! I have been lurking for the past week (during my 2 week wait for a mammogram), but decided to introduce myself this evening as today I found out I had cancer. It seems totally unreal writing that!

I am 40, 2 DCs 4 & 7. Found a lump in my boob, went to the Drs the next day and was referred for a mammogram which was today. They told me during my appointment that they were certain it was cancer. I've had biopsies of the lump and lymph nodes which were enlarged and have a meeting with the doctor next Friday to discuss the results. In the meantime I'm having a CT scan to see if it has spread anywhere else in my body.

I feel detached like this is all happening to someone else.... did anyone else feel like this? Also, any tips to get me through the next few days would be appreciated as I am a terrible worrier and it's hard not to jump to the worst case scenario.
Luckily I have support from friends and family and my lovely DH who is being amazing.

Hi @ProperPickle sorry to see you here. Im fairly newly diagnosed (having surgery Thursday) and totally relate to the "it's happening to someone else" feeling - I still feel like that. It's a kind of dissociation.

I've kept myself going through these initial stages by working, cleaning, and gallows humour with my sister and some close pals who "get it".

@ProperPickle welcome, though I’m sorry you’re here! I felt very detached when I was diagnosed and to some extent I think I’m still in denial now (over 6 months later). The main thing to remember is that there are so many different types of breast cancer and also treatments now so hopefully very soon you’ll have a plan. I had to compartmentalise to avoid the fear of the worst case scenario. Fingers crossed for you.

@ProperPickle

DO NOT GOOGLE
There are a lot of different types of breast cancer, and you don't know which one you are facing

Get a notebook and record all your appointments. Any questions you have and so on. There's a lot of information coming your way.

I had BC in 21 and felt like it was not real at all, I don't think it really sank until about six months afterwards

The Breast Care Nurses are amazing, A really good source of information and they will look after you. Breast cancer is well researched and well funded.

I am sorry to see you here, but there are an amazing bunch of supportive women here, and we'll all help you through it

@HellonHeels @BreakfastClub80 @Tilllly thanks so much for your lovely welcoming messages - they have made me cry!
I am definitely not Googling! As you say, what's the point. I feel a bit like I'm 'in the system' now, I just need to go with it.
I'm feeling totally exhausted now but can't sleep as have too much running through ny mind (although my husband is happily snoring away next to me!)

@ProperPickle welcome and sorry you have joined our lovely thread. Strangely, and I found this hard to believe, this time is probably the hardest part of your whole cancer experience. You are in shock, your mind is racing to all sorts of dark places, and you don’t know what will happen next. You may well be very angry too. The good news is that once you have the results and a plan it will all feel much more manageable. Don’t be afraid of the scans, as Knowledge is Power and they will help your team to plan your treatment.
We haven’t had the Mountain Lion story for a while:

https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

It is okay to look at NHS choices or the Macmillan Cancer Support site, and Breast Cancer Now is also well written and not alarmist. You might want to try an App like Calm or Headspace while you are waiting for results, or maybe ask your GP for something for sleeping or anxiety. There is usually somebody on this thread, even at 2am. We have between us sampled most of the delights of the cancer treatment menu so ask anything you want to know. And It Will All Be Fine!

@ProperPickle sorry you're sleepless! Ive had really disrupted sleep since diagnosis.

Listening to "comfort audio books" (ie ones that you know well and still enjoy) helps me. I also do sudokus if I'm wakeful.

In the pre-op area - feeling adrift. I may be taken into surgery straight away and out by noon or they may keep me waiting around for hours and not do me till this afternoon.

Bowel op preparation concoctions are utterly vile. Thinking how that minor misery will pale into insignificance compared to what comes next is not helpful.

@HohiyiKozbevi good luck, the waiting must be tough. Hope you’re scheduled soon x

That's rubbish that they can't even tell you if you are on the morning or afternoon list. Keep us posted @HohiyiKozbevi

Morning all, not entirely sure I'm writing, just can't share my concerns in real life. Back story, have been through this all before - ovarian cancer stage 3c, chemo, radical surgery, more chemo, then skin cancer (only needed surgery) and a host of problems following treatment that still plague me today but now been 10 years 'cancer free'. Most people I've met on the journey of ovarian cancer have had multiple occurrences or have sadly died, apparently i am in a very, very small minority of no recurrences and alive. However, I had blood in my stool, and quite a lot, last week, and an acquaintance's occurrence started the same way so off I went to the GP and been referred for more tests. Likely to be nothing, they found a small haemeroid (never had before), but still with my history want the tests. So back in rounds of 'what if' thoughts and waiting. Distracted and my DH is worried so can't express my concerns, particularly as I am now feeling a 'heaviness' down below (probably psychosomatic!). And to top it all, work is shit at present (always?!) - I'm leading very contentious negotiations with a key partner and am also leading a new business line so not enough hours (or motivation!) in each day - and I just want to go for long walks and wallow!!!

@EweCee welcome. It must be horrible being plunged back into cancerland after escaping for ten years. The anxiety that has provoked and the stress from work must be impacting you. Can you do some yoga or meditation/ mindfulness while all this is going on? Rant away here. It’s a safe space.

Today my skittles team is playing so I will go along as non playing captain. We are in danger of winning the league! This will make us very unpopular as we are meant to be the cheerful but hopeless team.