The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

I feel like they’ve basically used me and it’s burnt me out. Whereas if they’d managed it correctly then I might have been ok. But the trying to up the hours, difficult students (who aren’t being properly supported) and just the most marking in one term that I’ve ever experienced has just finished me off! Predictable.

I’m currently fantasising about a trip back to the UK and all the lovely things I could do! Hopefully I’ll get a tax return which might help with that!

@ClashCityRocker enjoy your trip it sounds fab!

@SummerCycling thanks for those kind words.

I think the other issue is that I don’t suffer fools as much as I used to, my tolerance for noise is at an all time low and the bottom line is it’s a thankless task most of the time. There are some good kids who I will miss but as my husband says, it’s time to move on.

Don't feel bad @FairyWren7 - feel proud of yourself for taking action to get out of a shit situation. Your mental and physical health is the most importantly thing. When can you leave?

End of term which is another couple of weeks. I’m trying to manage it on health grounds. The school are supportive. References will be fine. I’ve just been ill since I went back really.

I always feel the last couple of weeks after you already know you're going can be the hardest. Hang in there, at least there's light at the end of the tunnel!

Hi all, can I join? I've just seen my oncologist following radiotherapy and a full resection for a grade 3 brain tumour. No chemo, just monitoring from now on so fingers crossed for the scan in a couple of months. It's been quite a ride as it took months to be diagnosed then was thought to be low grade at first (Dr said it was on a fine line between grades 2 and 3 but tipped into 3 hence the radio).

No idea how to feel or what to do with myself. Still a bit tired and dizzy from radio with a slight eye issue from surgery (all discussed today, just waiting hopefully for them to subside).

Off work and study but looking to slowly get back. I think adjusting to a 'new normal' might take a bit of planning.

Friends and family seem to be just delighted that I've finished active treatment

Welcome @Catunderling. I think lots of us can identify with the situation where your friends and family just think 'yay, it's over' and you think 'wtf do I do now?' Do you have anything specific you want to work towards, either short or long term?

Lots of us also have regular scans and monitoring ongoing so we can share those stresses too.

Sorry you're having a tough time @FairyWren7 - but it sounds like you are absolutely doing the right thing and just have to weather the storm for the next few weeks.

I have been feeling very distracted at work this week - I had a series of big deadlines last week and do have several new things I need to get on with now, but I can't keep focus.

Welcome Cat That sounds really tough. I think its normal to feel overwhelmed and lost when you finish treatment a bit like coming out of a very dark tunnel into the light feeling dizzy and dazzled but happy there is light. And finding you have to find a new normal again. Initially would just take it easy then gradually start building things up you want to work on and as it goes on things get easier. I am almost 2 years post end of chemo and I feel quite fit and healthy now but there are still reminders like a chopped off breast which still has to be operated on and hair much shorter than it used to be. I have found exercise hugely beneficial though breast cancer so don't know how you'll be affected, nice days out seeing wildlife, visiting gardens, gardening and getting weight back to pre cancer treatment normal which I am very close to. And holidays. Its really supportive on here and people will be able to help with all types of things and between us we have experience of most things - I have not returned to work as disabled child but others have experience of that and caring for elderly relatives which again I don't have.

Welcome @Catunderling I've found this thread very supportive & encouraging, I hope you do too.

@FairyWren7 I've found the same iro not suffering fools gladly any more. I don't know whether that's a result of me getting older or whether it's a legacy from my surgery & treatment.

Welcome from me too @Catunderling - yeah the whole thing is a roller coaster. I felt okay immediately after my chemo finished but then got hit by anxiety a few months after. Emotions come and go. I am physically pretty fit and do a lot of exercise but work is a mess for me and I'm coping with a 90 year old mother with various ailments so I don't really feel I've got a life back that I would like. But things might come together some day!

@Catunderling welcome! You’ve graduated to the next class! (Or something).

It’s not linear the road out. There are bumps along the ways and some moments in ‘sunlit uplands’.

We’re a positive bunch here I reckon and it really helps to talk about it all with a bunch of people who get it! 🤣🤪

My mother said to me on the phone ‘you’ve got everything from both sides haven’t you.’ She then listed hayfever, allergy to penicillin (we were talking about the antibiotics I’m on). She then stopped and I added, ‘yes, and the breast cancer!’

F**k me! This is from my mother!

But then she went on to talk about ‘something’ as in God, some sort of force in the universe and ‘collective consciousness’ because she’d thought of Sandra and then saw her on the bus. It’s like something out of an Alan Bennet play! 🤨

@Catunderling@ welcome too
I finished radio a week ago, had a little celebration and exactly the same wtf...
Active treatment finished but lots of reminders ,seem to be at the cancer unit most of next week. Haven't been around much because just been knackered after radio.. More so than chemo but I think the whole shit show roller coaster just accumulates and turned round and rolled over me!
Group are fab I agree! Put up with my drop in rants
@FairyWren7agree weathering the storm but if you can't sometimes I can't remember who said it you just have to say " wtf"...I think that was Tom Cruise in Risky Business.. One of my favourite movies of all time music by Tangerine Dream...
@MissMarplesNiece as for not suffering folks gladly, I'm like a female version of Victor meldrew..id hope better looking although maybe not!! I'm off to that make up course jic!!

@nappybrained oh, love a Tom Cruise movie. The last Top Gun was just pure nostalgia although I am partial to a Cocktail!

Weather in Melbourne is predicting an Arctic blast from the south and snow. Might have to wear my bobble hat!

@FairyWren7 summer here hmmmm...I'm wrapped up in my heated throw!
Wondering where my bobble hat is!
Artic blast and snow, I guess that can't be that usual?

We do get snow in the Alpine region. The occasional hail storm but not usually snow along the bay. Melbourne is on a huge bay!

I weirdly did my time out before cancer. Because I’d had a near miss with precancerous cells found during a hysterectomy. So I’d already had a lovely long holiday after covid and surgeries. Then I got cancer when I got back.

I’ve had 4 hours sleep and don’t want to go to work. But at least it’s a half day.

Welcome @Catunderling to this very lovely corner of Mumsnet. There is no rush to be anything different. Just be kind to yourself and let your body heal. It takes time for the terror to subside and to feel ready to step forward again. I found lovely yoga classes for cancer patients helped a lot. I did a lot of lying down breathing in and out!
@SierraSapphire have you located DM today? And was it your interview too? I hope both things went well.
@FairyWren7 I hope your day is going okay. I feel stressed for you just hearing about it!
I’ve been resting up my aching legs after gym sessions and writing my updates to the Guide Book. I’ve managed about 25 percent of it so far, so am optimistic I will get it done close to the deadline. The only problem is that the format is extremely tedious and my mind wanders off after a page of “LH column para 2 line 4 remove £4.20 insert £6.40” and so on. Tomorrow I will go on an outing to investigate gas cylinder suppliers for a change. DH is off cycling again which will be a bit lonely for me. Once I am fitter I shall go touring with him. The Canada trip includes a cycle tour! That’s an incentive.

Welcome @Catunderling.

Yes @TopOfTheCliff - my mum told me she'd been moved to the local community hospital, but when I asked her to ask someone which ward she was on, it turned out. She was exactly where she had been for the past three days and hadn't been moved at all! She's now asking me to bring in all manner of things, including a dress, no idea where she thinks she's going, and she hasn't worn dresses for years. She's not likely to be out until Tuesday at the earliest, which is when DD and I are going on holiday, but apparently they are putting in carers four times a day so that makes me feel better. I did also have my interview, which went as well as can be expected. I am still very unsure about whether I want the job or not if they offer it to me, it's not so much the job itself, it is the working for an organisation rather than being self-employed but when you asked us at the beginning of this thread to set up aspirations for where we wanted to be at the end it was sorting out work that was my priority. I've still got financial issues though because I'm paying off a bounceback loan from Covid when I got no financial support so that could complicate whether I'm actually even financially able to take a job. It's all frying my head a bit! Anyway, hope you manage to keep entertained whilst DH is away.

I laughed at the rollercoaster rolling over you (us) @nappybrained

Today's problem is when are we going to have a day when it's not predicted to rain so I can actually do some washing? I've got pre-holiday washing to do and DD has brought home about five loads from university. I might have to put the heating on to dry it.

I am in the same boat with the home-from-uni washing. DD1 and I both keep dashing into the garden to rescue washing from showers. I have modified my ambition from getting it all done to being able to get the lid on the laundry basket. And our heating came in automatically last night even though I’d turned the thermostats down to 16. Brrr.

I’m sorry things aren’t clear with the job situation @SierraSapphire Maybe if they offer it to you, your instinctive reaction might tell you what you should do? I have only ever turned down one job offer and I only knew when I got the call that I didn’t really want it.

I had an amazing night’s sleep for once and woke up at 5.30 before my alarm so I’m off for an unplanned swim in a bit.

It's difficult @dotty2 I think because ideally I'd like to be self-employed with a steady stream of work that wasn't feast or famine, but at least at the moment that doesn't exist and won't exist I don't think without a lot more unpaid marketing, which is just making my heart sink. I feel like I don't want a job, but not having a job isn't feasible either and actually if I'm going to have to have a job then this one looks pretty good in terms of activities and flexibility. Obviously I might not be offered it. I do have some more steady work promised to me on a retainer, but I'm starting to feel that dipping in and doing bits and pieces for other people is a bit soulless - and as I'm single having a steady wage, sick pay and a pension contribution, and a group of people around me feels more important. In the meantime I'm going to wait for a premium bond win...! Off to yoga and to play Padel this morning, so getting away from it all for a while. DD wants to go holiday shopping later, but we also need to visit DM, but decent shopping is 30 miles away from the hospital so not sure this is feasible.

My DM has just texted me and said she doesn't want me to bring her a dress as she's realised she's in hospital. Oh my!

Thank you everyone! Such a lovely welcome.

I am working towards getting out more independently (eye issues, disorientation from parietal lobe damage and dizziness plus where we live has made it a bit tricky) but it's my aim to be eventually back to going everywhere myself again. DP and I have been having solved nice trips and walks together through

@FairyWren7 Look after yourself. Teaching is relentless and an impossible job to make reasonable adjustments for, in my opinion (I’ve still not returned to work). You really need to put yourself first. I hope you can find an answer that works for you.

I've been offered the job - eek!

Congratulations Sierra 🍾