The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

What a relief @Penguinsa

Thanks all, no change in tumor size, thank goodness. Not grown since diagnosed in August/sept, when it was found. I felt like I was having a panic attack at the reception. So surgeon agreed to see my partner instead of me. He still needs to see me to finalise the operation details. Going to make an appointment with gp in the morning to get some help. I have got more ct scans coming up the next few months, I can’t go on like this.

@Penguinsa thats great news!

@ClashCityRocker really agree with getting a counsellor and the advice to journal it down - let the paper take it. And distractions - podcasts, music, painting and walking help me.

During the cancer I couldn’t cope with noise but now I’m enjoying music again. A lots of Hans Zimmer here currently. Dude is a genius!

Dune - Quiet Between Storms simply the most beautiful, peaceful, longing piece of music. It makes me laugh and cry at the same time which seems rather fitting at times.

The marking tsunami continues here, with extra fun features like more moderating, meetings and report writing!

Oh to be back in Seville drinking wine and eating tapas!

Happy Friday everyone!

Well I've been in A&E with DM much of the night. She was really struggling to breathe so was blue lighted again, and when I got to A&E they put me into the relatives room and even offered a drink so I thought they were going to tell me she'd died, but eventually they took me through and she was on an IV to get fluid out of her lungs. Doctor's just called me as I was writing this and everything seems about the same, she's being moved to a ward. DD drove back from up north and stayed with her another hour after I left at 3.30. So I'm knackered. I should be working on a report that needs fixing today, I've had so little work that I don't want to not do it, but I don't want to drive myself into the ground again, I've been having heart palpitations since last night (they used to be common) and the fear of ending up with a recurrence because I'm tired and stressed is always there. So feeling pretty sorry for myself. I'd planned to go out for breakfast and do a yoga class and have a swim as well today, maybe we will go out for breakfast still, can't go to visit until 2pm anyway. DD is still asleep, she didn't get in until after 5am but it's good she's here (I think she mostly came to have an excuse to not go to the last day of her placement as she's already done her hours and got it signed off!) though she's off to Parklife tomorrow. I've had over five years now of DM seemingly near death but then recovering but she seems exhausted with it herself this time.

So sorry to hear about your Mum Sierra I hope your checks are clear. I was also worried as the most stressful year of my life was 2022 but came back clear. Though I think reducing stress is generally a good idea but you are doing so much for your health and hopefully it will all be fine.

Hope the gp can help Bang

Thanks Fairy and Remaker

Did an hours gardening last night, a bit constrained by both green bins being full and not collected until Wed so part filled black one but need rest of it. Still was an hour done. Only 2 more A level exams to go, next on Tues, both maths. Just taking it easy today and watching Race Around the World and reading my book on Borneo, the lady who wrote it went there in 1934 from the US and it took 6 weeks, amazing how the world has changed.

Oh @sierrasapphire that sounds stressful indeed. I've struggled with how to focus on work etc when life is getting in the way. My current strategy is to do fifteen minutes on the report I need to write or review and then if I want to stop I can. What normally happens is that by the time I've got fifteen minutes in I'm focussed on it and it's actually providing a bit of a distraction. It also saves the additional anxiety of 'i should be doing this now, but I'm not' which scuppers any recuperation time.

Thank you for your thoughts on counselling all. I think I will look into it when I'm back from Norway.

@Topofthecliff I go a week on Sunday, eek! I have pushed it to the back of mind tbh - physically I am not in too bad shape and ultimately I shall be able to keep up I think. It'll do me good mentally too I reckon although it feels like a very BIG THING...I've probably built it up too much in my head.

Canada sounds amazing, everyone I know who's visited only has good things to say about it.

Hey all, I'm back radiotherapy over and out! How interesting was that.
I filled in the evaluation form.. Actually possibly wrote a short essay including recommendations!! I wish I had worn sun glasses and everyone should get a short course of anxiolytics as it is just hard. So dispassionate, think I may mean another word, so much whirring machinery, flashing bright lights. And breather b in when you're ready and hold arghhh it's like a ear worm.
Anyway onwards and upwards and onto the cdk4/6 next and next infusion.
What the heck am I really going to do with myself.... Plenty of nonsense in my house so that will keep me going!!

Thanks for the comments @ClashCityRocker and @Penguinsa - DD and I have just got back from the hospital and DM is still on oxygen and diuretics to clear the fluid from her body so her heart isn't under too much strain and her lungs aren't filled with fluid, so she's stable now, if not independently so. Have no idea what their plans are, but I don't suppose much will happen over the weekend. I did a bit of work to send off the first lot of stuff for the report I was supposed to be doing today, and got really good feedback on it so I know I'm along the right track, I am going have to do some stuff tomorrow and Sunday though.

In other news, I have an interview for the job I applied for next week, which is also doing my head in little bit, as obviously I may not be offered it but if I do, I feel like it's a really big decision to decide whether to go back into full-time work after being self-employed for so long.

Well done for completing your radiotherapy @nappybrained - and for the feedback to them! I refused pelvic radiotherapy, it didn't have much effect in my type of cancer anyway, and some of the side effects of it sounded hideous, plus having to do enemas. Real slog to go through as well, so I am impressed by anybody who actually managed to complete it!

Ah I did the pelvic radio as it's first line for cervical.

It wasn't even the enemas that were the worst, it was having to have a full bladder for every treatment. First few days not so bad, but once you've had five weeks of it it's awful! I managed to pee on at least two radiographers. If holding your bladder isn't a form of torture it bloody should be.

TBf I had mine at Jimmy's in Leeds and they've made an effort to make it as nice as possible, there's a TV screen angled so you can watch pretty photographs of yorkshire countryside scenes. Too many waterfalls and streams for my liking when you're desperately trying hard not to pee yourself.

I got luckier than most with the side effects, too but some people I went through treatment with had a horrendous time of it.

Glad you're through it @nappybrained

I was kept waiting an extra half hour with a full bladder for my initial ultrasound scan @ClashCityRocker - the sonographer wrote on the report I seemed nervous - yes, but only that I was going to pee all over the floor. She also told me she got enough without doing an internal scan, but turns out she'd missed an ovary. She just wanted to go home I think because my scan had been moved on the day and everybody else had gone home.

@SierraSapphire sounds like you’ve got a lot going on. That’s hard to take with your Mum bring in and out of hospital. I hope the situation improves for all of you.

Re the new job, have the interview and then you can decide. Write a list of pros and cons. If it feels like too much then it’s not the right time.

I am doing too much at the moment. I had a cry last night because I was overtired. Too much work to do!

Well done @nappybrained another stage finished! You will be through in no time.
It is great that @Penguinsa and @SierraSapphire both got good news on scans too, every bit of positive is to be celebrated.

I was at cancer yoga today, and was surprised to hear two ladies saying that every time they exercise and get breast pain they think it is a recurrence. Have they not twigged it’s related to the exercise on damaged tissue? Or am I just not a worrier?
I have had a good week, and finally feel that my body belongs to me again. For so long it has been a fragile thing I have had to look after, but now I am beginning to take it for granted and get on with things. I don’t worry I am going to fall over in the shower. I can clamber on and off boats unaided. Last night I took a complete beginner out sailing and did almost everything myself and we led the race for a while! In the end we were second but I was so happy. I feel with two yoga sessions a week, a physio session and an exercise class, as well as gardening, housework, cycling and boat stuff, I am getting stronger all the time. It has taken SO long but at last it’s bearing fruit.
Have a good weekend folks xx

I haven't had my exam yet Top, it's Wednesday, then my interview is Thursday. Glad you're getting back to normal. Physically I feel pretty good too.

I'm going to pop out this morning and buy some new shoes I think, I've only got trainers, boots and sandals and it doesn't even feel like sandal weather even though it's June! I will go to the interview @FairyWren7 - then maybe hope they don't offer it to me 😂. Or I might find that it sounds great! Is there any way you can drop any of the work, it's not great being tired.

The other thing on my mind is our holiday is in 10 days, DM is in hospital with her worsening heart failure. I think we may be able to move it under Jet2's t&cs - but when do we make that decision? I really want a holiday, and if we don't go now it would be end of August or beginning of September because of DD's course (and whether she is going to various festivals!) - but the DM stuff might still be going on then. I'll see what pans out on Monday I think and make a decision.

Hope you get your holiday @SierraSapphire you do so much to support your Mum. I don't stay in A&E with mine any more, you are truly an amazing daughter.

@TopOfTheCliff Great to hear your body is feeling so much more normal and you're back to doing lots of sport! Going through all the triple positive then triple negative BC treatment is so much, a true Marathon from Hell, it's really wonderful news.

@ClashCityRocker You'll have to post a few photos of Norway once you're back! Wishing you a brilliant time there.

I'm getting to the sports club average 4 days a week for swimming alternating with the gym. Aiming to start cycling again this summer (outside) but slowly. If I don't then my user name here will have to change 😂

Really hoping you get the all clear on Wed Sierra

Have a wonderful time in Norway Clash

Well done on getting through radio nappy

Glad you had a good week Top

Sorry you are stressed Fairy

Well done on exercise Summer

DD now just has 2 A levels to go, one on Tues, one on 20th. Went swimming on Friday then 3 hours gardening with DH on Saturday. Just had Sunday lunch today and DH voted in French elections.

Thanks @SummerCycling - I think I'm going to have to stop going to A&E unless it's daytime and it's not going to mess up something else. Nearly all her admissions are overnight ones, though, and even if we get there at 9 or 10pm, it's still 2am by the time she's gone through the initial stuff and actually sees the doctor.

I went to tennis coaching locally this morning because David Lloyd beginners sessions are playing but no coaching. Really enjoyed it, but I was probably the oldest person there by 10 to 15 years. I wasn't the worst though! I do find these mixed sessions and playing against younger men in particular really isn't very equal, but there's no women only stuff. I feel I've got a hobby again though after being disinterested in things for a while.

I used to be an enthusiastic and reasonably good tennis player but it's been a long time since I last played, and I'm so unfit these days.

My local council are running sessions for people who haven't cycled for long time/never cycled. I'm going to sign up.

I'm merely enthusiastic @MissMarplesNiece ! Great idea to join the cycling, I wouldn't mind doing a women's cycling group. I was just wondering why I hadn't restarted tennis before, though I did try in 2006 and tore a calf muscle, so I guess that's part of my answer. I've got a job interview on Thursday but I'm not sure I've got time for a job with all my intended hobbies!

Conditions my end should improve a bit as we have another teacher for year 11 which means the classes will be split, meaning less marking for myself and the other existing teacher.

My bank balance is inching its way back to something acceptable and that and the pleasure of working with some lovely ladies and some lovely kids is all the job now affords.

I’m still suffering with crippling anxiety. Not helped by the system and management. There seems to be much more of a culture of blame from the kids and it all seems much more political (my school is unusual as it’s Muslim in Australia) so it’s important to be sensitive to context. Still have sinus infection - it’s been months.

All the work is getting in the way of the stuff I want to do. I’m worried that the cancer will come back due to the stress and before I get to write something good.

Plan is to try and finish the year and in that time make inroads on the things I want to do.

@MissMarplesNiece i love your user name, I’m reading Lucy Worsley’s Agatha Christie bio at the moment - that’s what I want to do. Travel and write!

I’m not exercising. Apart from walking the dog.

Something has to change or the whole cycle will just repeat itself.

I haven’t finished marking the practice exam yet and they are doing another exam on Wednesday so I’m not getting clear of the marking before another load turns up. Most of which gets done outside of school because of all the interruptions.

Glad @TopOfTheCliff things are going well.

Sorry to hear about issues with unwell and elderly parents. I’ve not really reached that bit yet.

@FairyWren7 that does sound stressful, but sounds like it should hopefully get better soon? It's very hard when you're trying to get back on top of life but have work to deal with as well.

I'm quite lucky in that I can work flexibly so no issue with taking a couple of hours out during the day for the gym.

I was thinking the other day that after going through cancer treatment we should get a year off fully funded - like maternity leave but better paid!

I would've been happy to just be funded through cancer treatment, being self-employed and sick is crap. I feel like the fact that I had to work through everything has meant it taken longer to recover. But I agree some time to get our lives back together you would've thought would also be good in the long run, and probably cut down the risk of recurrence through having time to eat, exercise and reduce stress properly. I think we've talked before about how it's a scandal that there isn't proper follow-up for cancer patients beyond just looking for obvious signs of recurrence. Maybe a campaign if we weren't all so bloody knackered trying to do everything else .

Thanks all for your nice messages.
@Penguinsa hope DDs penultimate exam has been okay.
@FairyWren7 sorry you are feeling the pressure. Take time for yourself!
@SierraSapphire younare spot on about the investment needed to stay healthy
@MissMarplesNiece I have agreed to go for a bike ride with DH later. I was building it up in my head to be a hard thing because of having to cycle back up the cliff at the end. I’ve told myself I can get a lift up in the van if necessary. Getting started is the hardest thing!
I slept a happy weekend pottering on my boat. I replaced a broken water pump, with plumbing and wiring and everything! Also I finished a reupholstery job that has been lingering on for two years. She is looking mighty fine! I am ready for a mini adventure when DH is back from his next trip.
For some reason my small joints in hands and feet have kicked off, and I have mouth ulcers and sore eyes. It’s probably just the ups and down of life without oestrogen, but I am racking my brains what I have reacted to. I’m not eating cake or biscuits or sugar currently, or much refined carbs of any sort. The only thing I can think of is I chopped up a chilli pepper and got some on my fingers. Maybe I poked my own eyes!

Had the results of the tests on the lymph nodes taken during my lumpectomy 2 weeks ago, this morning.
They were clear!
I was absolutely stunned as I'd convinced myself I'd need more chemo but apparently not.
I will be having 5 days radiotherapy sometime in the next 8-12 weeks to finish up.
Despite the good news I feel really flat and very guilty that others are still struggling.
I have a close friend who is going to need further treatment after a double mastectomy and although she is happy for me, I feel very guilty.
Plastering on a smile when friends are whooping with delight.
I still feel that this is just a hiatus at the moment and that cancer will strike again.
Think I need a kick up the backside.