The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

Fab news @penguinisa! I was scrolling down to pop on and wish you luck to discover you'd already been given the all clear. Good news indeed.

Ah I'm quite up and down emotionally too.

Never really dealt with the trauma of my husband's death, then cancer diagnosis, treatment and all that jazz....I often wonder if I would benefit from counselling but don't know where to start, just too many issues!

Throw in whatever it's called when it starts straightaway menopause and I'm a bit of a perfect storm of emotional instability 😂

I've got to the stage where I can recognise when I'm in a lull and remind myself that I will feel better about everything soon so that's one thing. And all in all I don't do too badly.

@Penguinsa Great news! Glad they told you straight away too!

@FairyWren7 Bertie is adorable 😍

@Remaker I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling mentally. I also go through periods of time when I cry at anything and everything. I've always had that though, it seems to be part of me. Thinking of you and hoping things start to improve. It's so stressful dealing with DC exams on top of our cancer isn't it; one of mine has an important exam on 10 June I won't be able to relax till after that. I love how Top says 'all things pass and you will rise again' - I'll try to remember that.

@SierraSapphire trekking round villages sounds fun! In that job I had, the evening dress was some evenings a week, then other evenings casual, and work was also some mornings - pretty much never in the afternoons. It felt as though I was always at work because I was clock watching in the afternoon as opposed to feeling it was true free time, although it is fantastic to have time off during the working day. Our sports club is calmer after about 8pm so I like evenings the best. Let us know how it goes and what you decide!

@ClashCityRocker I used my hospital counselling sessions to basically rant on and get things off my chest. Apparently that's what a lot of cancer patients do in counselling - or at least in the beginning of it. I actually found self hypnosis more helpful than counselling ongoing. You're dealing with so much. I hope you continue to not do too badly xxx

Great news @Penguinsa!

@FairyWren7 please keep us informed about your book! I would love to write one. I have a little bit of an idea for one so you’ve inspired me to develop it a bit more.

Thank you @TopOfTheCliff for your wisdom, as always.

@SummerCycling what’s that saying - you’re only as happy as your least happy child? DS is a gorgeous boy but so hard on himself. Our GP was fantastic with him, gave him a medical certificate saying he was unfit to sit an exam - not a lie but also won’t send the school into full mental health fix mode. He’s had sessions with the school counsellor before and found them useless. GP has put us onto an online counselling program run by one of the big teaching hospitals here. Hopefully he’ll give it a go.

@ClashCityRocker Im sorry to hear you’ve also been struggling. You’re dealing with so much! I recommend trying some counselling. I last went when my father was dying, my brother had just left his wife and kids for another woman and I was about to get married. It felt like I didn’t know what to focus on but the counsellor really helped me to unpack everything. I learnt strategies that are still working for me now more than 20 years later.

@ClashCityRocker when are you off to the Lofoten Islands? I’m coming with you in my dreams. I really want to go there! Sorry you are struggling too. That is why this thread is helpful. We all get dragged down at times, due to the shitty traumatic thing that happened to us all. But also because life can be cruel and unfair.
I saw the grand dog at lunchtime. Poor little pup is so sad. She has gone from bouncy teenager to menopausal misery in a day. It seems harsh to do that to a dog. My heart went out to her. I wonder if her joints hurt and she gets hot flushes too.

Thanks everyone.

I think you are doing amazingly well Clash You could try counselling and see if it helps. I didn't find it that much use but you can always try and see if it makes you feel better and stop if not or change counsellor. I found the trips out to see wildlife, short breaks and holidays much more useful. It can be useful as well to keep a mood diary so you become aware of when you feel better or worse and try and see what helps and what worsens things. I actually felt worse with counselling as it reminded me of the trauma but lots do find it helpful and depends on the issue. I also use the this feeling will pass and distract myself technique and that works for me after a couple of hours. Exercise has helped me so much. And being in touch with people who have been through similar, who get it. I think the trip in Norway may help. At the moment I find gardening helps which I never expected, attacking the ivy is quite therapeutic and planting pretty, scented flowers good.

Had a celebratory bakewell tart, shouldn't really, but was very nice and in my head I had prepared to be told I was at stage 4 today or at least biopsies so feeling almost tearful with relief. Did feel so sorry for those you could see just diagnosed especially one girl looked so young with her Mum, looked about 16, maybe she's older, I looked like that until was about 27 but even so its rubbish. It was impressive there.

DH has just appeared with the 12 things I ordered from Amazon, think I was using that as distraction and it worked. 😂

Ha ha, all I seem to order from Amazon these days is stuff for my manky toenails and similar!

I have 2 origami sets, paints, sudoku (all for DS), shower head and hose (DD asked for 🤔but mid A levels so fine), blouse, sunhat, Agnes Newton Keith book, pink ipad holder, socks with ducks and water bottle with ducks. All essential of course. 😂

So pleased to hear your news, penguins and thank you for sharing your Amazon shopping list!

I am through the worst but of my work deadline clash and knackered but relieved. Went for a lunchtime swim in spite of being maxed out, so am quietly proud of that.

sorry to hear you’re both struggling @ClashCityRocker and @Remaker

Thanks Dotty Well done on the swimming.

In manky nail news my 2 are almost fixed now thanks to Mycosan anti-fungal kit from Sainsburys. Just about 2mm left on the one nail.

Great news @penguinsa. I hope everything gets better with time @Remaker.

I hope everyone is doing okay. I made it to Malta with the family and it was back to reality on Saturday. I am still coughing a bit, had bloods done yesterday and apparently my cholesterol is high and I need VIt D. No wonder I have felt rubbish for sometime. I have 2 bone scans on Monday, fingers crossed everything is okay. Additional meds for heart collected last week but I am yet to start taking them. I am fed up of medications at this point. I am off to bed now, I sleep like a log these days.

Thanks Make Glad you got to Malta with the family, hope you had a great time. Sorry about all the meds and tests.

So glad to hear all is well @Penguinsa

Best of luck for the scans on Monday @Makemineadecafplease

I've been away for a few days visiting friends and family. I've been in a swimming pool (with DD so couldn't do much real swimming) and the new costume and prosthesis all worked fine.

Sorry to hear you're both struggling @ClashCityRocker and @Remaker I had a bit of counselling towards the end of chemo as I was feeling very low and it was quite helpful.

I spoke to my nurse recently who said I'm probably menopausal now though they will check next time they do bloods. I had been told this may happen but hadn't really known what to expect. I'm certainly feeling irritable but guess that could be due to treatment etc.

Your trip to Canada sounds amazing @TopOfTheCliff !

Have a good day everyone.

Hi I have an appointment this morning with my surgeon to discuss my operation on my chest mass. We have been watching it since diagnosed in November. It hasn’t changed. I have panic attacks when I go into these consultant rooms. I’m panicking just now thinking about it. Can I send my partner in on my behalf with my consent. I can wait outside. I know it’s a silly question. But I can’t deal with all this. I’m crying and not slept all night. I haven’t warmed to the surgeon either. Thank you I’m in Scotland

The last scan 11 weeks ago showed no change. It’s been there for years they have said.

Hi @Shityshitybangbang I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I'm not sure if your partner would be able to go in on your behalf, I would recommend trying to speak to someone to explain the situation when you get there and see what they suggest. Sorry not to be of more help, I hope all goes as well as it can xx

Thanks Demi Glad you had a few days away.

Bang Sorry to hear you are having panic attacks, normally my team are reassured when something has been there a long time that it won't be cancer. I don't know what they will allow, mine were very strict and only allowed me in alone even though I was very distressed but they were still doing covid rules. I think its inhumane when they do that and hope they have stopped that. But what they did allow sometimes was to convert to an online appointment at home over video and then your DH could be with you and its nicer being home. I did have a very insensitive first surgeon and got them changed and that made a big difference. Hope you can find a solution.

It’s a surgeon I’m seeing. I asked for this appointment as I was on the watch and wait approach, which I’m not coping with. So have asked for the operation. I was given the choice when first diagnosed. Do nothing but scan it every 3/6 months or take it out. I picked scanning as I had just finished treatment for colon cancer. This isn’t related at all. they think it’s a thymoma. I had a chest scan last week but I’m scared it’s spread or inoperable. There has been no movement since I was diagnosed in November. They told me it wasn’t a new thing. I’m terrified and can’t cope

Bang Its not something I know anything about but if surgery could solve it, it might be better to do that, see what the surgeon thinks and hope the wait wouldn't be too long if that is the best course. I would make them aware of your anxiety levels, it might be also the GP could prescribe something if things like anti-depressants help. You could write down what you are worried about and get your partner to give the questions and hopefully the answers will offer some reassurance.

@Shityshitybangbang I can’t give you any advice about what will be allowed. But please speak to your GP about how you are feeling. My SIL was having panic attacks after her cancer diagnosis and she has found counselling really helpful. She’s learned some techniques to help when she feels she’s not coping.

I got the all clear confirmed in a letter but it also says they are discharging me 🤔I was supposed to have annual checks for 5 years and its only been 2 and have access direct to breast clinic for 5 years for stage 4 symptoms. Its been pretty dire but now they say I need to go via GP for everything which is rubbish, very hard to get hold of GP and will mean back to 3 year mammos. Oh well at least I am OK for 1 year now. But I still need DIEP as well, hope they haven't discharged from that too. Its quite scary how basic the follow up is when I am high risk for reoccurence. Though with lobular its normally in years 5 to 10 rather than 0 to 5 and needs an MRI but GP would not write a letter for that other than for initial oncologist appointment. I might need to switch to private, I do not feel safe at all with this level of care. I might give them a call as they said 5 years before and its not even been 2 unless they count from day one when its 2.5 years.

Just called them and apparently its just a standard copy and paste thing in their letters and they aren't discharging me, phew.