The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

Hope your checks show all is fine Sierra and you can manage to distract whilst waiting. Good luck with the job.

I am mostly managing to be la-la-la about mine and assume all will be fine but there are two lumps in reconstructed breast which I have always assumed are scar tissue long and thin and along scar and hardish but not sure I had two originally and its been 3 years with no checks apart from CT scan for DIEP. Can't feel anything in other breast so pretty confident that one will be fine but there is an awareness that my happy new normal could just be turned apart and they may say on the day. On the other hand if they are both clear will be huge relief for a year. I am watching Race Across the World as distraction and booked the gardens and afternoon tea as distraction, these are helping a lot and more gardening will help as well. At least if the worst happens DD should be pretty much through A levels and hopefully off to uni so one child down, one to go. And DS has downloaded an art app and made himself hotdogs in last 24 hours so there are signs of life returning.

Well done with the job application @SierraSapphire I hope they recognise your worth! My DSS is back from his world travels and having a quarter life crisis, as my DC call it. He had a fabulous time but has run out of money. He just wants enough money to go travelling again, doesn’t want a minimum wage job, and doesn’t feel like doing the jobs he is qualified for. I’m offering him work here gardening and decorating, for £15 an hour, so we will see whether he needs the money enough. There’s a lot of sighing and wild ideas coming out at the moment. I guess we give him some breathing space and see if he comes up with a plan. DH is a great dad, and won’t give him money for nothing.
DH is 95 percent better and out on his bike again. I’m better too, working on my guide book updating which needs to be finished by the end of June. I may have a little trip away to work on it next week. It’s very sociable chatting to nice friendly people in ports and harbours. Also I am back at Yoga and my exercise class. I must be brave and take my bike out too.
The only looming unknown is whether DH needs radiotherapy on his face for the skin cancer. He will find out on Tuesday. All healing up well now anyway.
Thank goodness we are in a positive phase this week. Also the sun is out! It all helps.

Glad to hear your DH @TopOfTheCliff is doing better (what an ordeal) and fingers crossed for not needing radiotherapy.

Sorry to hear about your father @dotty2 but pleased to hear your are back to swimming. Hope that is helping keeping you, mentally and physically, in a good place.

Nice to hear everyone else's news too. Good luck to your DD @Penguinsa in her A-levels.

At my end, I had been waiting for my 1 year scan results, which I got today. Unfortunately, the results are 'indeterminate' so I am being sent for a biopsy, currently booked in for the 11th of June. This is on the other breast from the one that had cancer last year. The MRI and mammogram both showed some new 'calcifications' that were not there last year on my left breast. Level of suspicion is apparently 3 on a scale of 1-5. I cannot believe this. I thought the chemotherapy would have zapped anything that might have been developing on the other breast. I was absolutely certain all would be fine on these scans as I could not feel anything, having had a good poke around in the shower this morning. Worst case scenario apparently it is DCIS (about 20% risk) with only a 5% risk that there might be an invasive element. I have really had enough of medical statistics. There is never any certainty unless things are cut out and looked at under a microscope and I seem to keep finding myself in these situations. Apparently, I am an outlier again. I was told it is really unusual to see this at the 1 year checkup. What planet am I actually from??!!!

Anyway, this will probably push back my LVA surgery date for lymphoedema. This is currently booked for the 18th, but given that they need to first figure out what is going on with my breast, that will need to wait. This is all so depressing.

I am going away on holiday on Sunday, back on the 10th. I could cancel and move the process along faster, but I have been advised not to let this ruin the rest of my life and to just do the biopsy upon my return. I don't know whether to tell my family (whom I am going to visit, or my DDs so as not to freak them out too at this point). I have only told my DP for now. He is generally calm and able to compartmentalize information, so should be able to avoid spiraling down with me.

Oh @isaxx that is horrible. I have been through the same experience with my second BC six months after finishing treatment for no 1. Remember the rule, “Don’t borrow tomorrow’s sorrow!” as it may well all be okay and you will ruin the holiday if you dwell on it. Can you put the whole thing away in a box like your DP?

Really sorry to hear that @isaxx - fingers crossed it's nothing to worry about. I've got a holiday with DD a few days after I have my check up, and I was wondering if they say the bleeding is suspicious rather than vaginal atrophy whether I'd tell her, it's difficult because I think I'd feel better if I told her, but I don't think she'd feel better. When there's something going on I don't tell her I just feel like there's a barrier there because there's something she doesn't know about and has potential to make her very unhappy. I thought it might invalidate my travel insurance as well but just thought fuck it I don't really care!

I've been to an airshow today and seen the red arrows as well as lots of other planes, so had lots of stuff to distract me. Tomorrow morning I have yoga. My DB was supposed to be coming over but he nearly always cancels, which he did this afternoon.

Thanks Isa and really sorry to hear your news though I guess that means 75% chance its all clear but yes annoying so soon after.

Also going for distraction Sierra and watched Race Around the World and been swimming, tomorrow gardening and Sunday Sandringham afternoon tea and still in la-la land.

@SierraSapphire I know what you mean. I too am hesitating to tell my DDs and parents. It would indeed make me feel better, rather than feeling distanced by this big secret. On the other hand, they would not feel better. Plus, it would become a topic of discussion with no answers as it is all up in the air. Fingers crossed for you too. And, as to insurance, yes fuck it for now.

Very sorry to hear that @isaxx What crappy luck. I hope you manage to put the worry in a box for now. Sending strength.

We are having a micro break in Newcastle. Seeing friends today and tomorrow and watched the lionesses tonight. They lost but it was a nice atmosphere. So many excited girls all around us!

Sorry to hear that @isaxx and keeping everything crossed that it turns out to be nothing. Don't borrow tomorrow's worry is good advice. I understand what you mean about telling people.

I didn't really tell anyone other than my partner until I had a full diagnosis and treatment plan when I was initially diagnosed.

Have a lovely time in Newcastle Dotty

Just done nearly 3 hours gardening with DH and then a nice bath then a kebab. Going out for afternoon tea with DH tomorrow. DD has been revising. DS watching TV.

That sounds nice in Newcastle dotty, hope the rest of your weekend went well.

I need to do some gardening Penguinsa - I'm not really a natural gardener, and any time I've had free it's just not really felt very warm! But I have some bedding plants I need to put in pots and I need to finish the weeding, and maybe do some pressure washing.

I did yoga and swimming yesterday, today I am meeting a friend for a walk and my brother is may be coming down, although he constantly cancels at the last minute, I will go over to see my mum whatever .

I've also got to finish this job application (thanks Top for the encouragement!), there are way too many things on the person specification, and some of them are quite repetitive, and as I have to give an example for each I'm not sure how I stop making it really long. I don't want to seem overqualified for it either whilst also getting across that I can do the job easily.

Hope Newcastle was good dotty

Sounds exciting Sierrasaphire although does also sound like a clunky application form! I've been in the same job since I was 18 (well my role has changed quite a bit since then, but with the same firm) so it's been a long time since I've had to deal with application forms etc.

The weather actually looks ok today for the first time in a while, hurrah! Everything feels better when the sun's out. Going to gym, swim and have a nice sit out for a bit.

I agree @ClashCityRocker I only had two jobs in my career after I qualified. I couldn’t face going through the whole application and newbie situation again. Luckily I loved my job.
Today was a recovery milestone. I had a paddle boarding lesson. Much wobbling but I managed a long paddle and even stood up briefly! That was a recovery goal I set myself back in the depths of the winter at a low point. I am so pleased with progress even if I am now exhausted!

Lovely photo Top and well done on the activity.

Good to hear you are both keeping active Clash and Sierra Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

DH and I went to Sandringham and went round the gardens and lakes, saw the little church and went for afternoon tea there - lovely weather and lovely afternoon tea and they let us bring the cakes back in a box for DS - we had the sandwiches, savouries and scones and a huge pot of tea each. Walked for about 1.5 hours and on top of 3 hours gardening yesterday feeling a bit worn out and just had a nice bath and will relax for rest of the evening.

Not brave enough to share my photo but you can see my dress co-ordinates superbly with the crockery. 😂Mon, Tues and Thurs A level exams for DD and Wed cancer checks for me so will be glad once we reach end of Thurs cancer results being OK of course. DD is very chilled which helps a lot. And DS is improving faster now, he washed his own clothes in the washing machine and drier and make himself hot dogs today as well as watched TV and he has taken his blackboard and pens with him and he's cleaning his teeth and using a bin.

What fantastic photos and achievements @TopOfTheCliff and @Penguinsa .
I have to say I prefer @Penguinsa ’s day.
Spent the day selling raffle tickets at dh’s golf club with a fellow “ bc graduate” - we sold over £400 for breast cancer now. No one could refuse us😉.

Ooh well done @thesandwich that’s great selling. I was on the till at our RNLI fundraiser yesterday selling Afternoon tea and Tombola tickets. I took over £1000 in cash and card transactions. I was frazzled by the end but the event was a great success, thanks in part to the sudden burst of lovely weather (and the lovely Lifeboat men who visited with their Inshore Lifeboat).

I took my DM to see some ducks! And I just finished the job application now, with its 30 items on the person specification. Tomorrow I'm not going to do much work, as I've spent too much of the weekend on it, but it's tennis in the morning.

As people are attaching pics, here's the Red Arrows from the air show, or at least some of them!

Wow@SierraSapphire thats impressive..
Well done @TopOfTheCliff - our weekend event was for breast cancer now and RNLI without the boat sadly- both charities have done really well.

Thanks Thesandwich With a username like yours I hope you get your own afternoon tea soon. Well done on the fundraising to you and Top

Lovely pic Sierra

These are the cakes we took home for the kids and they shared them equally which was nice.

I do think that part of rebuilding my life in retirement includes doing things for other people. Helping with voluntary groups and fundraising for charity do bring happiness and a feeling of worth as well as fun and friendship. It sounds a bit priggish but I have observed over the years that the lonely unhappy people are the ones that don’t help out or join in. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. I have needed to concentrate on my physical fitness because I have been in a bad way but as I recover I am happy to be able to resume some of my responsibilities.
Incidentally today I decided that half the allotment will have to go. It’s a horrible wasteland and although I could tame it if I worked really hard on it I don’t want to! It should go to somebody who is desperate for a plot. I’m going to tell the field manager tomorrow. The other half is looking good although the slugs have eaten all my cabbages and cauliflowers. It’s a rotten year for growing veg due to all the rain. Taking the decision has made me feel huge relief which tells me it is the right thing to do!

Lovely to see your photos everyone - and well done on getting to standing on your board @TopOfTheCliff . My balance and core are rubbish and I'm sure I couldn't do that. Just had a lovely lunchtime swim though - it was oddly quiet and I went in the slow lane for a change and just pottered along.

@SierraSapphire - good luck with the job application. FWIW, I've had two stints at a 'proper job' since I started freelancing - one for four years, and one for two. I think it's good to try to keep up at least a little freelance work alongside if you can, but both times I've learnt a huge amount, and have been able to take on freelance contracts afterwards that I wouldn't have felt able to tackle before.

I spent yesterday working when the weather was gorgeous which was a shame - joys of freelancing, I have a crunch of deadlines this week. DD1 is home from uni this weekend though and I'll have the bulk of my current work out of the way so will be able to take time off to hang out with her a bit, which will be nice.

Thanks @dotty2 - I also had a two year and six year interlude in employment since I first started in 2001. Though one of the things that might be a dealbreaker for me is that they say that you can only freelance with permission - so it's going to depend how likely they are to give me that. I do feel very conflicted about whether I want a job or not, obviously they may not offer it to me so it may not be an option, but there are definitely pros and cons. I do want to feel more secure and more connected and a pension contribution would be nice! But on the other hand I played tennis this morning and I've made arrangements to play padel and see some art on Thursday. That sort of thing will be much more limited! So it also depends on how flexible they are around "flexible" working. There will be some evening meetings, which I'm absolutely fine with because I'd rather have the daytime off in lieu anyway. Just have to wait and see!

@dotty2 I made balance and core a priority after my hip replacement so I am pleased it is improving. I am trying to be good and not do too much. Today I rested up in the morning instead of cycling then did yoga this afternoon.
DH and I sat and had coffee and cake together and he cautiously commented that we are both well and nothing has gone wrong yet this week! It seems like tempting fate. We are so used to one disaster after another that we are braced for it.
Tomorrow is Hearing Aid day. I’m a bit aghast that I have reached this milestone of old age. Thanks chemotherapy!
Well done @SierraSapphire for your accepting attitude. Hopefully whatever happens it will have some advantages.

Hilariously just after I posted we had a drama. DH about to go out for fish and chips, getting bike ready. Local scrote steals bike and rides off. Lovely nurse returning home from work sees dodgy bloke on classic bike and thinks “that looks wrong”. She turns and follows the bike. Bloke abandons bike in the hedge. Nurse drives back, knocks on our door guessing it’s one of DHs bikes and takes him down the hill to where the bike is lying. DH very very happy! Nurse doesn’t know us but guessed correctly where the bike came from. Good luck at last! Hooray! DH is off to get her a bottle of wine.

That nurse is a star @TopOfTheCliff !!!

@SierraSapphire not an easy decision is it, all the pros and cons of freelance vs having a job. I can absolutely imagine you feel conflicted. I've never had a job where I needed permission to do freelance work on the side; hopefully they'd be flexible with that - it could feel a bit trapping otherwise maybe? But yes, so much calmer in many ways. You also mention evenings with some day time free - that's lovely having time during the day, but I had to work in the evenings for years (in evening dress) and felt I was constantly clock-watching. It sounds as though your work in the evenings would be less often than it was for me though, which was average 3-4 a week. Good luck I hope it turns out as you're hoping it will.