The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

It was the AO Arena dotty not the new one. I had a look to see if there was anything we might want to see at the new one, but not yet! M6 was fine southbound this afternoon (apart from the middle lane wankers!) but at a standstill northbound in parts. I got off at my gym and did 40 lengths and a spa session, heading back home now.

I've also been for a swim - my first since surgery. I managed about 30 lengths and was very stiff and sore to start with but it got easier as I went along, which was encouraging. No spa sadly but I might have a bath later, after catching up on Sewing Bee with DD2. Such a rock and roll lifestyle!

This is turning into a very long day! For once DH is the patient and I am the carer which is novel. At 7 am he rang 111. At 1145 he saw a GP. They asked us to travel down to the hospital that he had his operation in. Luckily the A38 was clear. At 3 pm we checked in. At 5 pm he was seen and they paged the specialist. At 9 pm after 5 paging calls they still haven’t spoken to the specialist. About an hour ago DHs face exploded. Dr Pimple Popper is real and here with us! He is feeling a bit better since the pressure reduced in the abscess. It’s going to be a long evening I think. Saturday night in A and E and it’s warming up.

Oh goodness @TopOfTheCliff
I hope the specialist materialises soon and your DH is okay.

Sorry to hear about your dad @dotty2

Thanks Dotty So sorry to hear about your Dad. Hope you can find a way to find enough time for yourself too. Its important to look after yourself as well and take breaks. Well done on the swimming.

So sorry Top A&E on Saturday night, yikes. Hope it gets sorted soon.

Glad you had a good time in Manchester Sierra Looks fun.

I found out if you go south it was not raining unlike here where rain is expected in 13 of the next 14 days but it was a one day special down south so off we went to Wisley as love it there. But the traffic was horrific on the way down, guess as its start of half term and went on M25 to the west. Came back on east side of London and much better. Wisley was lovely and had an egg sandwich and scillian lemonade and an ice cream with flake there - gave some egg sandwich to a pigeon who kept trying to eat it slowly then Mr Fat Pigeon came along and ate at the speed of light taking 3 big bits at once. Got some lovely dried flowers and 2 plants from there, some white daisies as DSs favourite flower and a pink mandevilla.

@TopOfTheCliff hope your dh gets to see the specialist soon.
Great pic @SierraSapphire . Interesting about timings for your cancer… I wonder how much dm stress contributed to mine……
@dotty great to hear about your swim

@Penguinsa that looks like a beautiful day.

Good to hear everyone’s news. Sorry to hear about your DH @TopOfTheCliff.

I’m ok apart from a reoccurrence of the sinus infection and more antibiotics oh and of course too much work. Spent a lot of yesterday asleep.

My painting is going well - it’s like a switch has gone on. I’m really enjoying it.

I just feel a bit stuck and I know it’s the job. I keep thinking to myself after the reconstruction surgery this has to change. Plus next year my house is paid off so I will have a small income and won’t be such a wage slave.

Keep on keeping on everyone! Long term here and we are halfway!

I feel stuck too @FairyWren7 - i'm stressed by the feast or famine nature of freelance work, I've just had some stuff cancelled because of the election. I think I will have a more reliable ongoing contract from the autumn, but it doesn't cover me for the summer. I don't feel as though I can do a demanding job that would bring me in enough money, and I don't want to have to deal with all the politics in the voluntary and public sectors at the moment, which is where I've always worked. I would be happy doing a less demanding job, but then that's not going to pay me enough to cover my bills and my expensive concert and gym habits! It looks like there may be more money around for the sort of work that I do if Labour get in, but it's going to take a while. TBH I was having these thoughts before cancer but obviously things become much more magnified post cancer.

In other news, I have a mouse in the kitchen! The cats were very interested in what was going on behind the dishwasher, and I pulled it out and there was a little mouse there, but it disappeared before I could catch it. Not sure where it is now, guess I need to get a humane mouse trap!

@SierraSapphire im glad I’m not the only one going around in these circles. I walked the dog this morning debating about whether is should be a grasshopper who sings all summer or an ant who works hard and puts food away for the winter. (At least I think that’s what the fable was!)

Its all a big gamble anyway!

I don’t want to waste my life working so hard, when there are no guarantees I will live to a decent age and/or be well enough to do what I want when I get there.

However these are issues most adults deal with, with or without the cancer.

I guess I just feel odd that everything has changed and also nothing… it’s such a contradiction.

Ive been gardening, painting, washing, cooking and reading today and the sun has been out which has been nice.

A quiet weekend, both myself and husband are exhausted from work. Hope everyone has a good Sunday :)

Oh dear @Top, I hope everything gets sorted soon.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone.

@TopOfTheCliff Hope your dh got seen and is OK and that you have had some sleep.

@SierraSapphire @thesandwich I had a very stressful 5 years with work, ill and dying parents and surgery to prevent going blind in both eyes, that I’m sure contributed to my cancer. I have a family history of breast cancer, but I got it 10-15 years before everyone else did and I’m sure stress was the reason. It’s made me more determined to look after myself now and to prioritise my own health and well being.

@FairyWren7 I think cancer has taught me there are no guarantees about tomorrow. I always said this but now I feel more inclined to act on it and do fun things now while I can, rather than ‘one day’. When I have the energy that is! I found therapy really helpful working through some of these thoughts and feelings.

@TopOfTheCliff poor DH, hope all gets sorted quickly grr
@tam23 me too, What's that phrase don't put off today what you think you can do tomorrow...I'm thinking that re fun stuff... And ignoring and putting off all the crap stuff!! Dragged myself off to see Wicked and soo enjoyed it
Swimming .. So impressed with all these lengths@dotty2 and @SierraSapphire wow.. May need to get some lessons as was thinking when I get there 2 or 3 and a bit of a float my top aim!!
I'm pretty sure stress contributes to everything health-wise. May not cause but deffo contributes. I'm sure I'm lardy sure to stress , and cortisol levels, with less exercise. When younger and fit before back collapsed I was very fit and slim. I suppose you don't see many lardy joggers! As life has gone on... Anyway I'm seeing this while cancer thing as a chance to change things up, ( although there are of course like we know very bleak days) but that's what I'm telling self.
Got to work with it
Sun's out, and I accidentally cleaned the freezer!
Have a better day everyone x

Thanks for all the kind messages. DH is tucked up safely on the ward on IV antibiotics and feeling better already. I got home at 1am and slept for nine hours. Now back down visiting him but sloped off to let him nap for a couple of hours.
The Grasshopper/Ant dilemma is true at all ages I think. I’ve always been an ant but not any more!! Time to grow wings and fly!
One of our DC is a lifelong Grasshopper and has a wonderful life but no possessions . The rest are ants, but happy with the work/life balance I think.
@nappybrained I think your attitude is perfect. Use Cancer as a reason to take stock of your life and implement changes that will improve your health and happiness. Let some good come of the crap we have endured!
I am having a rest day today. It’s very peaceful sitting on my boat not far from the hospital having a break from the mayhem.
Regards to all xx

@TopOfTheCliff Good to read that your DH is feeling more comfortable and hopefully he'll be back home soon. Sitting on your boat does sound restful - there's something soothing about being by the sea.

Thanks Sandwich

Glad your DH is getting better Top

Hope everyone is having a good BH weekend. At least the weather forecast is improving.

Just a quiet day here Sunday lunch and collected things from a couple of shops and some washing. DD out doing punting job. Discovered DS has been cleaning his teeth which is good. He has been watching Netflix and making cheese toasties again. I think he will all know the words to every episode of A Series of Unfortunate Events soon, must be on his 10th time of watching in 10 days or so.

I hope stressful events aren't the cause of my cancer as the year from chemo including DS being in hospital was the most stressful year ever but it could be true. At least in chemo you are being treated. As its a hormone based cancer I wouldn't be amazed. I also have an adrenal tumour which they think produces excess cortisol at times, well I think they do, finally see them in September after tests started in 2022.

@Penguinsa it’s great to hear that your DS is making progress. I remember the worst days when he was an inpatient. Poor lamb!
DH is agitating to come home today. He had a scan that was fine and is bored and restless. That’s a good sign!
Meanwhile my DS is on his way to “ help” me and buy me lunch. It would have been useful if he had come earlier but now I just want to get going and drive down to where DH is before the Bank Holiday traffic jams start. Sigh…
Also this morning I broke a mirror. I sincerely hope we have already had the seven years bad luck and don’t have to go through it again.
Sending waves of calm to you all. I need a yoga session to restore my chakras.
Top

Thanks Top Yes I think you have had an advance on the 7 years bad luck and should surely be due 7 years good luck.

Just to let you know that Knotsy & Pistey have just messaged me to say the Woolly Hug blanket for the lovely Mowly77 is now made for her address so it will be there for her husband and 5 year old DD before too long. Thanks so much to everyone who helped with that and thinking of you all.

Gosh typical today the Nuffield finally offer an MRI but day after NHS tests, have cancelled MRI and will see NHS results first. Apparently the hospital oncologist did send them letter in end of April but noone told me. Though they will keep on file.

Oh how annoying about the MRI @Penguinsa , but as you say probably best to go with the the NHS appointment and you can use the private one as a back up in future should you need it. I hope all goes well with your appointment.

Good to hear your DH is on the mend @TopOfTheCliff And I agree it sounds like you have used up all your bad luck and are due some good luck.

Typical @Penguinsa but at least you will get the scans now and hopefully be reassured.
I’ve just been to an exercise class with my daughter. I was so happy to be there leaping around. She got a bit emotional too seeing me beaming and waving my kettleball about. I’m on the mend at last and so happy about it.
DH managed a 20 mile bike ride too. We are on the up! Hooray.

Thanks Demi and Top Glad to hear things are improving Top.

I have just spent 3 hours gardening with DH and then a lovely bath after. Ordered a second green bin as we are getting through first one quickly and want to do all of garden ideally.

DD was working punting on the river Sat and Sun and been revising since. Out with a friend soon to the cinema and a vegan restaurant with a friend. Just booking a holiday with her boyfriend for the summer to Kefalonia and then an interrailing round European cities with friends holiday for the summer, she will also be working punting.

It sounds like things are finally starting to happen @penguinsa but gosh what a saga.

Glad to hear your DH is improving too @top

Thanks Clash Hope you are fine.

Busy week coming up after half term this week with 3 A level exams for DD and my cancer checks for both a new cancer and stage 4 middle of the week. Will be glad to reach Thursday when that's all over assuming checks are clear.

Have booked afternoon tea at Sandringham for DH and I this weekend which will be a nice distraction and will visit the house and garden, that part is free with the Historic House membership and our RHS one now. This week is relatively chilled with no exams for DD and she punted a couple of days, revised and currently out at cinema and for a vegan meal with a friend. More revision then working punting one day this weekend before the week of 3 exams after but after that only 2 out of 9 left so broken the back of them. Still very cheerful. She just booked a holiday with her boyfriend to Kefalonia today and is booking an interrailing trip round European cities with some other friends and she will also do the punting job over the summer.

DS is watching TV and making lots of cheese toasties and has just downloaded an art app. I ordered an extra green bin at 10.50pm last night and it was here before 8am this morning, very efficient. So we will be doing more gardening this weekend as well. The birds seem very happy at our work.

I've also got a check in a couple of weeks @Penguinsa - it's difficult to put it out of my mind. It's a routine appointment - I had one cancelled on the day at the beginning of May and when I phoned up this week to check about it being rearranged I'd dropped off the radar. I think I've had a very tiny bit of bleeding though, I'm hoping it's "just" vaginal atrophy (I had some bleeding from this before and I do feel a bit generally sore) - but obviously I don't know. It was about this time last year I was going through the biopsy because of the granulation tissue, and the summer before I just had my hysterectomy and then had all the trauma about the missed things on the diagnosis and starting chemo. It would be nice to go into a summer with no issues!

In other news, I am applying for a job. I'm not 100% sure about whether I want a job but I feel self-employment is not really working for me anymore and I would like to do something that's much more structured and with people. It's a nice looking community development job locally, probably "below" the level I could be working but that is just what suits me now.