Doctor called me a hypochondriac

[starwise]

honest replies wanted here but please be kind as I’m feeling rather vulnerable at the moment

Background - I have 5 children, we live very rurally, doctors and hospitals are quite some distance away from our home and to add to that one of my children almost died from sepsis which also took the life of their classmate due to sepsis. They both had the same infection. I have had sepsis twice, one of those times I was on my last possible antibiotic as all previously didn’t work. We cannot afford to move currently, but we are in the process of looking at options.

Because of our situation, I have an oxygen & heart rate monitor, blood pressure monitor, thermometer. If my children feel unwell, I check them over and get a general idea of how they are doing. It’s quite reassuring. It’s also helpful letting GP or NHS 24 know the stats so they can get a better picture. Normally, medical staff are relieved to have this information as it can be hard to get a picture of someone’s health without this and hard to gauge if it’s safe to travel to them or get an ambulance.

My child became unwell, I checked their stats and they seemed okay. The following day they deteriorated and so I called the doctors. A new GP joined the practice and called me back. They expressed concern that I had these monitors at home and asked how often I check my children’s vitals. I explained only when they are unwell and what has that got to do with anything? They asked me to go in with them, so I did and the conversation was more about me and my mental health than my child who was feeling really unwell by this point. They then said it sounds like I have health anxiety and possible signs of hypochondria and said there was help available! I was so pissed….i just wanted my kid checked over. I understand I am more cautious because of our rural location and previous dices with serious infections, but I thought his words were horrific and not fair.

Turns out child had a chest infection and spent a few days in hospital needing oxygen and antibiotics, but now I’m feeling like maybe they are right and should I really call doctors with concerns and wait until their illness is obvious? Should I stop monitoring?

We ended up with another bad bug after this which made us all really really poorly and my husband was wondering why I wasn’t checking everyone over like normal and saying we should call the GP but I am now questioning myself. I don’t want them to think I am a hypochondriac. It’s really knocked my self confidence in my abilities.

Am I a hypochondriac?

I do know if I didn’t monitor my child, we would have never spotted her serious deterioration with Sepsis as she just looked like she had a tummy bug, but her stats were showing serious signs of infection. Sepsis kills…am I really health anxious?

Please, be kind, I am feeling really quite hurt and vulnerable. My normal GP assured me I’m doing everything right, but that new GPs words have stuck 🙁

You can write a carefully worded complaint to the Practice Manager. I wouldn't recommend doing that right now, but I do feel it's merited.

We're all supposed to be taking more responsibility for our own health. That includes monitoring basic stats! I've got all the stuff you mentioned because I have a long-term condition; it helps to know whether something's more wrong than usual. My GP says I'm being responsible.

As you say, it can be a big help to call handlers, and your regular GP supports your methods. New doc might have been staying alert to mental health concerns (reasonable) but shouldn't have persisted after you'd explained.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, and hope you all feel better quickly.

In my house I've got a couple of blood pressure monitors and a couple of O2 sats monitors (both of which measure heart rate), a peak flow meter, a couple of blood sugar meters with the appropriate sticks, a thermometer or two, and DP and I both wear fitness trackers that keep tabs on heart rate, sleep and O2 sats (his continuously). We don't even have any kids. I've never had any type reactions from medics when giving relevant info from these various pieces of kit, and as long as you're only measuring when it's relevant and useful to do so, not chasing a healthy kid round the house with a blood pressure cuff to find an excuse to take them to the doctor to get attention or some shit like that, then what's the harm?

This.
Complain to practice manager when you have had a few days to reflect and decide what you need to say. Sorry this happened to you.

Your words have really helped me tonight, thank you

I think I will write a complaint. I think my regular GP would support it.

We all have Covid, the regular monitoring helps me keep a close eye on us all so I can spot any deterioration - but all on the up as our heart rates and temps are coming back down, so on the mend - thank you!

This is absolutely awful and I’m so sorry that you’ve been made to feel this way by a rubbish GP - definitely make a complaint. I think it’s a really good idea that you have all of that at home, especially if you live rurally with young children!

It’s funny you mention watches, it was husbands Apple Watch stats at nighttime that showed he might have sleep apnea. He now has a cpap machine!

I’m so glad to read these responses because I was starting to think he was right

I’m American. When I go to the doctor, they often ask for copies of my home blood pressure readings. If I haven’t taken any they get annoyed.

My child has asthma, we have a pulse ox reader. That is just normal. They ask me for the reading if I call in with a problem.

We took it a step further and got her a watch that takes continuous readings. That is obsessive parenting, but mostly we were buying a smartwatch, why not get one that monitored her oxygen levels.

I'm often amazed by what health tech people don't have. A reliable-enough home BP monitor is cheap enough to be within most people's reach, and well worth it if you've got a BP condition that needs an eye keeping on it. But no, you'll see people traipsing into the doctor's or the pharmacy solely to have their blood pressure taken on a regular basis, when it takes a minute to do it at home and you can get however many readings at whatever time of day would be most helpful to your care team. (I even took a medication for a while that could, potentially, interact with certain foods or other medications to cause dangerous blood pressure spikes, and if one of those happened I was to go to hospital. I was glad I had my monitor to check with, any time I was suspicious. But most people taking that medication seem to rely on symptoms, and just guess whether their headache means they need an immediate A&E trip or not 🤷🏻)

Agree that you should write to complain.

You don't have many machines at all. Almost everyone has a thermometer and many people have BP machines as well. It sounds like there's a reason for you to have the oxygen monitor, since in the end oxygen was actually needed. It's only sensible and responsible to have the tools to check an area of concern if one has been identified.

I have all these as got them when Covid hit and we were told not to bother NHS unless seriously ill. Very sensible and child needed hospital!

Lots of people have those things OP. I'd have thought the info would have been helpful and their response seems really strange and OTT. Given what happened with your child with sepsis, be thankful that you were able to monitor.

I'd be upset by this too.

I'd also be annoyed to go to the drs about my child and then have a discussion about myself.

The only bit that stands out of your post is “should I really call doctors with concerns and wait until their illness is obvious? Should I stop monitoring?”

it’s reasonable to monitor if your unwell like you said to the GP. If you are monitoring when illness isn’t obvious then that might be more concerning? But maybe I’m just misreading your OP. Glad you are all on the mend from covid

It's sats, not stats. Two completely different things.

It does sound like you monitor excessively and are sensitive to the GP highlighting that. It was good that he was willing to invite you in. Poor mental health is too easily neglected in a service under such strain. He'll potentially be an asset to his patients and the practice. You are clearly very worried about health and based on your experiences that makes sense but you need to find a better way to manage it. If only to stop your kids growing up overly anxious!

Definitely complain to the practice manager that's awful, they've made some huge assumptions to label you a hypochondriac, which would also put some off seeking help in the future. I would also check what the GP has put down in the appointment notes, if they aren't available digital you can request a patient summary print out at the practice which usually has the last couple of consults on.

Surely having accurate ways to measure health stats you'd be able to see they fall into normal range and be less likely to spiral with anxiety than if you couldn't tell.

I think it's a good idea to monitor fairly regularly so you get to know what your own normal stats look like while feeling healthy in order to better spot the abnormal for you

Friends partner's sky high BP was picked up in a work medical as had no symptoms & told was very lucky they didn't have a stroke but had they been in your household they'd likely seen it creeping up & been able to take action much earlier.

I think you need to go by what your regular gp, who knows you and your family, says. Not a new person who clearly hasn't read your family's history.
We got a pulse oxymeter during covid. We already have a bp machine due to being asked by gp to do our own readings as we are late 60s. DH is diabetic, so checks his sugars, and we have a thermometer like most people who have dc.
IMO this is all normal and sensible.

How many hours does it take you to drive to a hospital, OP?

That's extraordinarily unlucky, all the sepsis experiences. I don't think I know anyone who has ever had it. I have adult DC, for context.

Both things can be true... you have good reasons to proactively monitor & you monitor too much and worry yourself excessively. They aren't mutually exclusive situations.

If I had experienced what OP has been through I absolutely would be monitoring everything when my dc were ill.
There are so many stories of appalling neglect by NHS on here. We have to be proactive.

We have a BP monitor as I need to send in my reading to my GP when I order more contraceptive pill. I also only have an oxygen level thingy because the hospital sent me one when I had covid during late pregnancy.

I wouldn’t think of using these on my kids though, as I wouldn’t confident i’m using them properly and what i’m looking for in relation to other symptoms. The oxygen device is too big to measure my 3 year old. I don’t think you are being unreasonable pee se but you saying you ‘monitor’ them sounds me like you’re trying to act as a nurse and I would always contact medical help asap regardless. I think it’s great you’re looking to move locations, best of luck :)

OP I am the first to advice patients not to diagnose/treat themselves. but in your case, what you are doing seems to be sensible. of course you are cautious given what you have experienced!

I do hope however you have a proper BP monitor (not a wrist one) with the appropriate sized cuffs for adults and children.

i can see how someone who met you for the first time may suspect health anxiety. you can write a letter to the practice manager describing your experience as it may help the GP learn.

patients using health monitoring tech at home will become very common in the next decade or so, likely with AI integration for diagnostics. So it's about time medics got onboard!

Complain op, that gp sounds ridiculous. I had a blood pressure monitor for my pregnancies, was told by numerous doctors to ensure I did after severe pre eclampsia on my first. One rogue doctor did the same on me as you, implied it was a mental health issue, I wouldn’t mind, I hadn’t even been checking it daily as my consultant recommended, and was on blood pressure medication to try lower the startings of a new bout😂😂😂

If you write to complain please say you are checking their sats not stats.

Hi, doctor here.
My only reservation if I heard a lay person doing these kind of obs at home on a child or young person is that if the obs are normal they could be falsely reassuring to the parent and one might not seek medical advice. Healthy children and young adults often do well at compensating until they really deteriorate. But you sound sensible and wouldn’t just blindly follow the numbers.

Sounds as though it’s a young doctor who hasn’t had dc or gone through that phase when they are always ill with something. And you have five of them op!

I would have defended myself quite vigorously at the time explaining about your child having sepsis and asking what was going to be written on my notes? I hope the new doctor hasn’t written the word “hypochondriac” in them without consulting your regular doc, as that could effect future treatment say if you are ever in a&e

I personally wouldn’t complain. He raised a point, he can’t know your whole family history and based off the information he was hearing he made a suggestion. GPs are horrifically overworked. It doesn’t sound like he did anything too bad, just trust in yourself and carry on.