Doctor called me a hypochondriac

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honest replies wanted here but please be kind as I’m feeling rather vulnerable at the moment

Background - I have 5 children, we live very rurally, doctors and hospitals are quite some distance away from our home and to add to that one of my children almost died from sepsis which also took the life of their classmate due to sepsis. They both had the same infection. I have had sepsis twice, one of those times I was on my last possible antibiotic as all previously didn’t work. We cannot afford to move currently, but we are in the process of looking at options.

Because of our situation, I have an oxygen & heart rate monitor, blood pressure monitor, thermometer. If my children feel unwell, I check them over and get a general idea of how they are doing. It’s quite reassuring. It’s also helpful letting GP or NHS 24 know the stats so they can get a better picture. Normally, medical staff are relieved to have this information as it can be hard to get a picture of someone’s health without this and hard to gauge if it’s safe to travel to them or get an ambulance.

My child became unwell, I checked their stats and they seemed okay. The following day they deteriorated and so I called the doctors. A new GP joined the practice and called me back. They expressed concern that I had these monitors at home and asked how often I check my children’s vitals. I explained only when they are unwell and what has that got to do with anything? They asked me to go in with them, so I did and the conversation was more about me and my mental health than my child who was feeling really unwell by this point. They then said it sounds like I have health anxiety and possible signs of hypochondria and said there was help available! I was so pissed….i just wanted my kid checked over. I understand I am more cautious because of our rural location and previous dices with serious infections, but I thought his words were horrific and not fair.

Turns out child had a chest infection and spent a few days in hospital needing oxygen and antibiotics, but now I’m feeling like maybe they are right and should I really call doctors with concerns and wait until their illness is obvious? Should I stop monitoring?

We ended up with another bad bug after this which made us all really really poorly and my husband was wondering why I wasn’t checking everyone over like normal and saying we should call the GP but I am now questioning myself. I don’t want them to think I am a hypochondriac. It’s really knocked my self confidence in my abilities.

Am I a hypochondriac?

I do know if I didn’t monitor my child, we would have never spotted her serious deterioration with Sepsis as she just looked like she had a tummy bug, but her stats were showing serious signs of infection. Sepsis kills…am I really health anxious?

Please, be kind, I am feeling really quite hurt and vulnerable. My normal GP assured me I’m doing everything right, but that new GPs words have stuck 🙁

The doctor seems to have jumped to a conclusion on the basis of the devices rather than any pattern of anxiety and excessive medical visits.

You have these devices so that you can avoid the doctor unless really necessary. He may not have thought through the practicalities of living remotely with 5 kids. You don’t want to have to jump in the car and take a kid to hospital if you can avoid it.

I have those devices too, despite living in London, as I have 2 elderly parents, one with heart failure and late stage dementia.

It was really helpful when my mum had pneumonia and when they both had Covid as I could monitor their heart rate and oxygen levels. Obviously my father needs his BP and heart rate checking regularly anyway.

So I would tell the doctor to consider the context and evidence before jumping to conclusions.

@trooc - no. Not Obs. Says is short for saturation. The percentage of oxygen carried by red blood cells. Obs refers to either Vitals or Neurological observations - or both.

I agree with this.

Because those ‘devices’ are not used well in children (inaccurate due to cheaper devices not being validated for kids or not placed correctly etc) and are often misleading and inaccurate hence why it is very rare for parents to be advised to use them in the community.
in fact it isn’t clear how helpful a sats check is even in a GP surgery with their tools done by the actual GP for the same reasons and an overarching clinical assessment is key.

an entirely different situation to an elderly parent during Covid.

I wouldn't complain and I wouldn't be so forthcoming in future, just say child is very unwell (very hot, breathless a bit blue looking, seems much worse today than yesterday, but not all the numbers) and let them check everything themselves. I would continue to give all my info if talking to the NHS online helpline. At least doing the checks yourself confirms or otherwise whether to call the Doctor, but also go with your gut if the checks say it's not bad but you feel it is still call.

They won’t be 100% accurate whoever uses them, they’re more of a guide. My GP surgery has the same brand of fingertip oxygen monitor as me and I have an arm BP monitor for my dad, which has turned out to be pretty accurate.

My sister has oxygen monitor for her son who has asthma, (as well as a peak flow) and finds it useful.

Of course clinical assessment is better, but if you’re up a mountain, miles from a GP or hospital, several hour wait for an ambulance, any assessment is better than none.

Medical advice will never be for everyone to use then as that would go very wrong. But it doesn’t mean that someone who is intelligent and sensible shouldn’t use them.

If the GP had advised OP to be wary of relying on home devices and to always seek medical advice that would have been wise. But OP is less rather than more likely to contact the surgery now she’s been labelled a hypochondriac.

I expect GP didn't read your notes and thought you had Munchausen by proxy or something similar!
You are doing the right thing with that history. You have to advocate for yourself on the busy NHS and also catch GPs up when doctors change. Of course it’s better to have a family doctor you see throughout your life but our society is too mobile for that.
My Mum nearly died twice from GPs not listening(once appendicitis, once brain injury). Now she is taken seriously at that surgery.

Even in the OPs words the Dr didn't label her as a hypochondriac, she said he said there might be a possibility of signs of being a hypochondriac. GPS are trained to be careful with what they say but still spend their lives being misquoted.

They then said it sounds like I have health anxiety

Of course I have a reason to check, you divvy 🤣 My last three asthma reviews have been over the phone; how's the asthma nurse going to respond when she asks me to do my peak flow and I tell her I chucked the meter? What do you expect my DP to do when the clinical pharmacist asks for a week of twice-daily BP readings — schlep down the pharmacist? How would you like to manage diabetes with no way of checking blood glucose? Or take a medication which can cause life-threatening BP spikes, with no way to tell whether your headache is just a headache or means you need to go to A&E? And DP's continuous O2 sats record has come in handy establishing a baseline against which to compare an exacerbation.

I have those bits of medical tech around because they can be useful for my household's particular circumstances. I'm not sitting around all day hooked up like an ITU patient. The OP describes a similar situation — she has a few specific and common pieces of equipment that can give a little extra info when needed. It's not 1953 any more; we can have that information if it would be useful.

(BTW every six months would be hypochondriacal overkill; my GP is happy with annual checks. I'm sorry you're so paranoid about your health but twice a year is just not necessary.)

I think a letter to PM is best. But word it very carefully. Explain that you do NOT do it daily or weekly or monthly. Only when child seems unwell. And that in each case you have been absolutely right. And about the sepsis history. So thus his comment was completely inappropriate.

Definitely normal and sensible to have these monitors at home. Please do write a complaint. That appointment was for your child, who was ill. If he had genuine concerns about your health he should’ve asked you to make a separate appointment.

Quite. OP’s mental health is none of his business unless she consults him about it. GPs have very little mental health training anyway.

Firstly, not even the doctor suggested or hinted towards the OP having MBP (which, incidentally, also is no longer a term that is used).

I'm not sure of the statistics, but it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine that many - if not the majority - of cases of health anxiety and/or Factitious Disorder have roots in previous health trauma. Having a history of bad health/unlucky health episodes etc does not prevent someone from reaching an unhealthy place mentally in the future.

I think you sound like a very sensible and caring mother OP. 💐

I think this is more common than you’d realise. I’m not sure if it’s because women’s health issues and concerns are not taken as seriously as mens.

I had had covid and was struggling to breath for four weeks afterwards. I’d been checking my oxygen levels and they were routinely dropping below 90: when I explained this to the doctor he told me that I didn’t need to check my o2 levels unless I was really ill and that I sounded ‘anxious’.

And we wonder why the NHS is under so much pressure!! It makes sense to me, better to be more informed than blindly relying on others!

By that I meant, when it’s visibly clear what they have wrong. It was visibly clear once my child had started treatment for sepsis in hospital that they had sepsis (skin mottling), but before they just visibly looked a bit unwell with a stomach bug. Turned out their stats were really off when I checked and we called the doctor who phoned an ambulance. Their class mate was the same, visibly didn’t look too unwell except they didn’t get help until they had a rash all over their body which looked like meningitis and rushed them to hospital by car. They died on route from sepsis. If they had monitors, they would have been able to see how unwell they were and not just judge by how they looked. Very tragic. That could have been my child if I didn’t check them over.

Kids get coughs and colds all the time. I only check their stats if they feel like they have a temperature or are complaining they are unwell. More often than not their stats are a little raised but well within normal ranges to continue self care at home, but when things creep up, I get support from my GP. We don’t do daily stats.

Lots of people have high blood pressure without realising it. Perfectly acceptable to measure every now and then, say once every 6 months to avoid the problems that would come with undiagnosed high blood pressure.

Both things can be true... you have good reasons to proactively monitor & you monitor too much and worry yourself excessively. They aren't mutually exclusive situations.
I'd agree with this.
It does sound a little excessive to be monitoring the children the way OP does, but that is also understandable if the OP is on the over-cautious side given her experiences.

I check more than just oxygen saturations, also temp, heart rate and if concerned, resp rate and blood pressure.

To the person that asked about appropriate equipment for children, yes I have those and I am trained on how to use them.

Really terrible for them to say that. Most households ended up with an sats monitor post covid and Apple watches are common. I think knowing your own observations and being able to report them if living rurally is a very good skill. I would write to the practice manager and say you check your children’s vitals when Ill and this time they ended up in hospital and you are concerned this will now be flagged each time you visit.

Someoen going down the FII route is horrific.

Some countries encourage you to do yearly bloods for children and in the uk if you do that as an adult you’re seen as anxious!

I think you can be health conscious without being a hypochondriac. It sounds as though you have had reason to be anxious and no I don’t think you should stop advocating for your children.