Hot Cross Plums (and something about Gourd of the Dance) - 10 / 10 thread - all welcome

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

I could cry
poor,poor little soul
I want to snatch him up & snuggle him

I dont think I could have dealt with that very well 100x

I recommend a 'bed in'
much snuggling,feeding,being pampered & bugger everyone & everything else.

& get rid of that midwife ...pronto

sorry about the fuckers thing
I don't understand how anyone can do that to their new baby though
the midwife told me a lot of things, I didn't DO them all

and I think 100 you are a VERY GOOD person to help them in the nice pragmatic way you have
I bet you feel frustrated

Yes, Lully that's what I said. But he isn't even in the same room as them. That's weird isn't it? I mean I am no AP lady, but all mine were in bed and certainly the SAME bedroom for at least 6 months or so. It's convenient as much as anything else.

She was in a state though you see, so she needs some support I think too.

I don't know. Their whole attitude was troubling really, but I think it was shock.

quite....I would have been hopeless

I couldn't even let anyone else hold ds for the first 6 months or so

I would have stabbed anyone who left ds to cry for a moment Lully

you know I think we could have done with a little talk from 100

I literally bedded in with ds because I was in terrible shock..I couldn't see anyone or do anything...but cry

But I literally wore ds for 6 months

franny

all my midwife said was
'Are you depressed dear?'
"drink cocoa dear...it's good for your iron levels dear'

ds didn't cry much because I attended to his needs before he knew what they were

poor chap

mine told me to get out of bed and go for a walk (I was in such a mess with stitches)

I limped to end of street and back

then another midwife said

oooh no, I won't get into all this really

I was in shock too with DS1 - I'd never even held a baby before, but I just holed up in bed with him for ages, and I always liked HIM so very very much, even though I was shocked at what motherhood involved I think.

I told MIL she had to go round, but she said she won't let her and won't impose. I was very bossy and said 'Right, you have to ring up and say I'm going to come round and hold the baby for an hour while you have a bath, and I'll be gone by 11 because I have to do XYZ in town' and she said she'd try it.

It's one big case of PND in the making I think.

Shall I send her an email with sling links or something? I did suggest that to her, then she could just carry on and everyone would be happier. But they weren't very receptive, they were all 'we want our life back'. People are weird aren't they?

walk.....
I had an em cs & stooped & shuffled for weeks

got out of bed only to shuffle to cranial osteopath & back a few times a week & reflexologist too

Oh dear, poor them, poor baby, poor you. It's hard because you want to kill anyone who tries to tell you how to do it all, even if they speak sense. I couldn't have done it the first time without the being curled up eating biscuits and bfing for 12 hours a day, it's actually quite blissful if you give in to it and decided that's all you will manage. Not so much with the next one, as you're also being clobbered by a 2 year old who wants to go out.

is it that she is not bonding...or has been duped into GF 'hard' methods of what she should & shouldn't be doing?

oh 100, I don't know, it is just heading for disaster as you say, I don't know what the best thing to do is?
I think if she doesn't get on with the MIL she is not the best person to go in as that may just crystallise her views further
does she know anyone else with young children? a friend who has been through this?

You see...I felt I bonded amazingly with ds in the womb..so meeting him at last & being able to hold him to me was just such an enormous wonderful relief.

But the trauma of having him & all the complications afterwards,emotional fallout,lack of help etc were hugely overwhelming

I was worried that there was something wrong with dd1 after the first few days as she didn't cry - and I asked the midwife what it could be and she said 'she has no need to cry, all her needs are being met' and I felt incredibly smug and that I'd definitely got this parenting lark down - and then a week later I bitterly ate my words as she screamed her head off if I put her down for a second. That's how it goes isn't it, still like that, just when you think you've cracked it.

Well, when I said 'just give in to it, he wants to be with you - and you know that is right and how it should be. Sit on the sofa, feed, watch telly, eat biscuits ALL DAY and give yourselves time to fall in love together and don't fight him so much' she said 'well, he came down and watched MOTD with dh earlier'

Eh?

Oh dear. I really don't think there is a right way to do things tbh, I think you do need to make it up and be flexible and I suppose mostly one just follows ones instincts. But how ODD to not have any instincts. No?

She needs help & support with everything else & someone to encourage her to rest & snuggle lots & leave everything else

Does she have a mother?
Not that you need one to have instincts, but wonder if there's something complicated somewhere?

is she a tactile,maternal type person?