Hand hold while I wait for ambulance for daughter

[StopTheQtipWhenTheresResistance]

Currently waiting for an ambulance for my daughter. Been sent as category 3. She's not been right for a few days now, not eating, not drinking, just laying slumped on her bed. This morning she collapsed in the bathroom and went really pale.

She has a learning disability and complex mental health problems so she can't tell me what is wrong as she doesn't verbally communicate when she feels unwell.

She was in hospital a couple of weeks back due to an infection (see previous threads) so I hope it's nothing to do with that.

I'm so worried, I feel sick.

Be prepared to be quite assertive if you need to. Unfortunately too many health issues are not always dealt with, with a patient with learning disabilities as they cannot advocate and do not present typically.

I’ve no idea why any poster would be saying that you wasted an ambulance, you did not this is potentially serious. Hopefully she will get the right care. Ask a lot of questions and watch her signs, and tell someone if anything changes.

I'm glad your daughter is being cared for in hospital.

Hey @StopTheQtipWhenTheresResistance, I've just read your updates, I hope you're both okay!
Im so sorry you're both going through this, you've done the right thing going in and constipation is unbearable after a while, the upper abdomen pains crushed me and I'm a solid wee fucker.

I've not read any posters comments because I'm up the wall today but sending you and your DD a huge hug. Do you have food for yourself?
If you haven't already got the uber eats app maybe download it? You might even get a free trial for free deliveries and you can see what groceries or meals you can have delivered to you for free, was a lifesaver when I've been in hospital with my dcs.

Anyway sending you love 💐 and another hug for your DD 💐

If she was in for an infection a couple of weeks ago it’s likely her immune system was quite susceptible to other infections. one with minimal symptoms may have gone under your radar if you were under the impression she was still recovering and likely to be a bit more fragile.

Are you still querying constipation with the hospital? It’s perfectly possible that is still a concern alongside another infection.

To echo other posters really go hard on getting constipation sorted. X

@starsparkle08 Put your Jackie Collins book down, drink your Blue Nun and leave the OP alone, she came here for support and for care. Your posts are mean spirited.

So sorry you're going through this OP, it must be really hard with someone who can't tell you what's going on.

The ambulances are 100% for people like your daughter, you're completely within your right to phone one (I work for the NHS and would be more than happy to see you and your daughter coming in on one, just for the record).

If there was no way to get her into hospital then you were very right to get an ambulance.
Please don't let people make you feel awful, your daughter is your number one priority and deserves to have the same treatment as everyone else that because of her disabilities may need to have additional help and support including an ambulance.
I remember my then 2 year old getting burnt (needed hospital treatment) and I phoned nhs direct and they called for an ambulance.
They came pretty quickly but one of the ambulance drivers would not take he in until I had a car seat for her.
I don't drive and my husband was at work (worked in a van so the car was parked at his actual work with her car seat in).
I had to wait over an hour with a screaming toddler for a car seat to take her into hospital.
The Ambulance man (one in particular) was quite horrible about it and implying I didn't care about my daughter for not having a car seat right there!
I felt bad enough, but looking back to be like that to at the time a vunrable woman was disgusting.
I hope your dd feels better soon.

@starsparkle08 you keep dropping hints that you have irl experience of children with difficulties and dealing with medical emergencies, which is why it’s completely baffling that you’re on a thread determined to undermine any virtual support to a parent in a similar situation. What’s that about? Envy? Attention?

Experience doesn’t make you an authority and someone else seeking and getting support doesn’t minimise whatever you’ve experienced. Kicking the OP around is just you lashing out. Back off, this isn’t the thread for you to unpick your odd reaction to someone else’s troubles.

But you are not entitled to your own facts.

Glad you went in and got her checked. Ignore the people here judging you for calling an ambulance. You know your daughter and it wouldn’t be sent at all if it wasn’t required. Only on mumsnet can people be so rude as to start judging a mother waiting on an ambulance for her sick daughter. Take your judgement elsewhere, either be here for a handhold or go and troll someone else’s post. Honestly on here you see the absolute best of humanity when people rally together to help people in dire situations and then you see the worst of humanity, like here. I do hope your daughter has a comfortable night as possible and gets well soon.

This is appalling and dangerously incorrect advice. Constipation in a person with an LD can be life threatening. Go argue with the NHS if you are insistent you know better but please leave the OP alone.
https://www.england.nhs.uk/learning-disabilities/improving-health/learning-from-lives-and-deaths/constipation-resources/

@Cornettoninja I don't have experience with children with disabilities . I have only one child myself with significant care needs . these won't reflect other peoples issues . this is an online forum where discussion is the whole reason why we are here .
as I've said before I hope op daughter gets better soon

I was in A&E recently and within three hours had been triaged, bloods taken and results back, ECG, chest x ray, and drugs prescribed. And it was a busy evening. I was also in there once with someone who was very vulnerable, and he was seen very quickly indeed despite his medical condition not being all that bad, because it was rightly judged that he was a lot less able to sit and wait than people without his particular set of social difficulties. The whole bloody point of a triage system is that people are seen in order of need, not arrival, and I’m very glad the OP’s daughter was rightly seen so (relatively) quickly.

We read the horror stories in the papers of people waiting 14 hours to be seen, and that’s terrible, but it doesn’t mean that’s how long it takes everyone even in these austerity-blighted times.

I’m sorry OP that you’ve felt it necessary to post a photo, people should be ashamed of themselves using a thread you started to seek support and caused you stress and further anxiety. We’re not all like that, I am thinking of you and your daughter and wishing her better very soon. 💐Look after yourself.

I'm sorry people are being horrible here OP. My pregnant friend fell and injured her knee whilst home alone and no one she could contact for help at 2am. 111 called her an ambulance, the paramedics and the A&E staff were very rude to her and told her 'a sore knee' wasn't an emergency. No answer to what they expected her to do as she physically couldnt have gotten to a taxi nor had anyone to help her. She was mortified. Turned out she'd torn a load of ligaments and then also suffered a placental abruption. So very serious after all.

I really hope your daughter feels better soon, and as a pp said do make sure you're getting the support you neeed too.

Then please read the room, bore off and stop shitting on a mother who followed all
professional advice to the letter and got the right treatment and care for her seriously ill daughter who is now receiving hospital treatment. As others have pointed out, your advice was not simply inappropriate and wrong, it might well have been life threatening.

Whatever @starsparkle08. you haven’t been ‘discussing’ anything. You’ve been heckling and bullying the OP because you fancy yourself as a keyboard warrior. Your posts have been deleted but I read them and it’s clear what you have been doing either intentionally or because you simply couldn’t help yourself. Troll hunting whilst deliberately trolling yourself….. you need to be 100% sure of your facts in that case. Even if you are 100% it’s not for you to call out on a thread - report it and it’ll be dealt with.

@StopTheQtipWhenTheresResistance A few times unfortunately, although we've been in a pretty good place the last 6 months. I hope you know you did the right thing and you got your daughter to the right place. Remember to take care of yourself too.

OP I hope your daughter makes a speedy recovery

Someone’s gonna end up dead with the advice on here regarding ambulances. If someone can’t get to hospital they need an ambulance. If someone is very poorly they need an ambulance.

Sick to death of people on here constantly fucking policing and deciding who deserves an ambulance.

You had absolutely no way of knowing what was wrong with her. You did exactly the right thing. The constipation was a guess and potential red herring. I hope she feels better soon.

Glad you finally made it into hospital. You must both be exhausted. Hope she gets the treatment she needs soon.

Well done for advocating for your daughter and getting her seen. As has been said make sure you look after yourself too.

As well as well wishes for you both I'm also wondering what the actual fuck is wrong with some people.

Do ignore the 'ambulance protocol experts'
No one knows the full context of the situation except you.
I hope your daughter settles down OK and gets some rest.

I wouldn’t even engage with the nasties who are saying you shouldn’t have got an ambulance. Of course you should have.

Thinking of you and your daughter 💐