Cancer support thread 91 - don’t borrow tomorrow’s worries

[LemonDrizzle10]

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You're probably in shock a bit too. It's definitely not a death sentence! As Top says, sieze the day. I think I've been busier throughout treatment than ever before...I had a bit of a fuck it all moment & started saying yes more!

I went to sleep instead @TopOfTheCliff! The day can't piss you off any more if you're asleep 💤

Off to work early ish this morning so I can rant at fave colleague in my pudsey ears 🤣 & eat lebkuchen for brekky!

@youdontneedtopoo Sorry you’re here.

Theres an awful lot of knowledge on this thread about breast cancer, it will help you understand what’s going on.
Keep yourself occupied and positive, it doesn’t make any difference if you give into your fears - it just adds in feeling even more crap.
They can do a lot these days, and it helps to remember that.
But we also recognise how hard it all is.
Love xx

I'm so sorry you need to be here @youdontneedtopoo. It's such a confusing and scary time.

Do use macmillian for any source of support you can - I had counselling with them and it was extremely helpful.

Could I ask you knowledgeable women about radiotherapy please? It's been a week and the day after my last day where I was extremely tired, I've not felt too bad. However joint pain all over has been building and is extremely bad today. Not just that shoulder, all over, hips and across my back.

Could that be a radio reaction or something else? I'm extremely tired today with it. There's a chance it's pmt, I haven't had a period for 2.5 months and since I started tamoxifen. So just wondering.

@youdontneedtopoo also Liz O Riordan is an extremely useful follow on Instagram and everywhere else.

She's done some things with breastcancer now now on YouTube too.

And re started her podcast which has been a really helpful listen.

I found her book very reassuring and some others she recommended around exercise.

@WellWellSaidTheRockingChair that's great news.

@youdontneedtopoo I'm so sorry you are going through this, the other lovely ladies have given some great advice. I fully agree with stay away from google. I can relate to the feeling rough and wondering if that's related, but as you say, life and getting a diagnosis is bloody stressful on its own, so that's the likely cause. Sending lots of virtual hugs.

@youdontneedtopoo Oh yes, jumping on the don't Google bandwagon. I have stage 4 cancer and someone said to me that of course I must know all about it having researched it and I'm like Nope! Ignorance is bliss 😁 My advice is not to do anything that you don't absolutely have to do, if it increases your worry and mental pain. It's always good to focus on some of the non-cancer-related things in your life and if possible, do things that make you feel good, eating treats, getting outside, cuddling your lovely children and so on. Not to diminish the worry and fear, we all know it but it's important not to feed it, so it helps to have strategies, whatever works for you. Some have suggested breathing etc. Experiment a little to see if anything makes you feel calmer. I like Ajahn Brahm's 30 minute Friday night meditation sessions, he's a (rather bonkers in some ways but effective meditation teacher I think) British Buddhist monk in Australia, and the vids are on YouTube. But you might hate that and prefer having a doughnut and streaming something or whatever and that's good too! Wishing you all the best!

I've just spoken to the Dr who wrote (well, dictated) yesterday's pissy offy letter, via the secretary. He called me back to apologise profusely & I used my very best teacher voice to point out that choice of words is HUGELY important! Deny makes me out to be a liar or caught out by something which I'm certainly not. You know like the kids you catch in the loos messing with the water who then go "it weren't me, Miss" while counting the floor tiles 🙄

Work's annoyed me today - 5 of us in EY together practising nativity...copy of nativity with helpful notes for everyone but me & no help with my little charge while he's slithering about & kicking out. Well, I'm not getting kicked for anyone, so I stood well back & left him to it 🤷‍♀️. Either I'm part of the EY team or not, not just when it suits & we want things (like a bloody festive duck costume ffs!). Well, they can sort their own duck & I will be speaking to SLT on Monday.

Fuck me, 6 months ago me would have let this shit slide! Apparently not any more. I don't know if that's good or bad 🤔

@youdontneedtopoo how are you feeling now?

Thank you so much guys, just reading the posts and knowing there's other people talking from "the other side" of where I am is so helpful. I am going to try the breathing and look up the links suggested.
We took youngest DC out today to run a few errands and I'm glad we got out of the house. We've both managed to eat something and although the biopsy bits are feeling crappy I feel more positive on the whole.
I am still having a few wobbles. Apparently my mum told DH that on my dad's side, his mum and grandma both had breast cancer and his mum had "an uncomfortable bosom" 😂 for a year before she finally went to the doctors. Which makes me panic it is this inflammatory type. I'm worried for my two daughters, how things will look for their future. There is so much of your life it affects, I feel like I was living in a blissful bubble before even with all the other stresses we had!
DH and I are picking each other up and taking turns, we keep telling each other it will be nothing the Dr hasn't seen before. the Dr doing the scan said it's nowhere near the worst she's seen. So, that's a positive I suppose?

I'm sorry to hijack this thread. Have just had a call to book a CT scan in on Monday. Can anyone tell me if this is relatively "standard" for breast cancer?

It is fairly standard for cancers in general @youdontneedtopoo (I had gynae cancer) but it still doesn't mean you definitely have cancer, they might be trying to act quickly in case it is whilst it still isn't! You can try and second-guess all these things, but it could go either way, shit having to wait over the weekend though

Thank you @SierraSapphire . I really really needed that right now so your reply is so appreciated.

Yes I had one when they couldn't really see what was going on in the mammogram. My breasts are v dense - younger women's breasts often are. So mammograms aren't always as clear as they'd like.

It led to a biopsy, just to be aware, but the out come was the other areas they were looking at were just fibrosis so no action needed. They're being very thorough x

Ct scans are extremely noisy, just to be warned!

@lucysmam definitely a spell in the rage room for you!! That or else your next crafting project needs to be voodoo dolls in the shape of people who write inaccurate medical notes. May they step on Legos.

@TopOfTheCliff new hair sounds exciting. What's it like?

@Tilllly hope the antibiotics are working their magic for you.

I've finished chemo, woohoo. I say "finished", doesn't really feel like it when I am mid side effects and waiting for more. But at least this time I can feel triumphant when they all wear off, rather than the dread of knowing they'll all just be back again in a couple of weeks.

Hope everyone has a good weekend x

Hi all
I found a lump whilst pregnant with my LO but chose to wait to get it checked until after they were born (did not want to compromise them or my pregnancy)

I got it check at my 6 week postnatal appointment and was referred for a 2WW clinic.

Fast forward to now. I had my appointment, was told initially that they suspected it was a fibroadenoma but wanted an ultrasound to check.

On the ultrasound they found the lump but also an enlarged lymph node. Then got sent for a mammogram with extra views. They then took biopsies from the lymph node and the lump.

Afterwards they took me to the family room where they then came in with a breast care nurse and told me they suspected the worst but would need to wait on my biopsy results.

Has anyone had this with it not turning out to be cancer? I’m 30 and I’m a new mum. I’m terrified and can’t stop crying

Could anyone help with a query? I had a 2cm lesion picked up as an incidental finding. I've waited 5 weeks under the urgent referral as there are staff shortages and wont see anyone until the end of this month.

My letter says Breast Clinic symptomatic (1). Does anyone know what the (1) means? I'm going a bit crazy overthinking.

One person who saw my scan told me 'it doesn't look like it's spread', so not sure if that's an off the cuff indication that they think it's nasty or just careless words from someone trying to be reassuring.

Well done @AllotmentTime! It's great to have finished, you'll probably feel more finished once the worst of the effects has worn off! What's next for you?

@Liaaaa Sorry you're going through this, we're all pretty much here because cancer was found, but there are more people who have investigations where it's not cancer than when it is, although if they are indicating the worst then they obviously have their reasons but there are always times they don't get it right. Treatments can be very successful though, and if you do get diagnosed there's a lot of knowledge and support here.

@Lavenderosemary also sorry you're here, no idea what your letter means, it's probably a code specific to your hospital. I think I posted earlier on this thread or another that it's difficult to second guess what staff mean, the uncertainty and waiting is horrible though. Have you got the number of a breast care nurse? They might be able to talk you though where things are.

@AllotmentTime congratulations. Hope you feel well soon. My hair is like a polish frisée chicken with an unruly mop top and neat sides and back.

@Liaaaa @Lavenderosemary @youdontneedtopoo it’s impossible to second guess results from a tone of voice or a stray remark. They often ask for scans at the beginning to get more Information. My wise oncologist daughter says it is like playing a hand of cards and each test turns over another card so they can play a more informed game. Knowledge is Power! I have to say at this early stage I felt nausea every time I explained things to somebody new. Wishing you all well and hopefully a very short stay here.

The Great Recovery continues. I treated myself to some Highborn cosmetics and my skin must be glowing as people keep saying how young and well I look. I guess it’s a change from old and ill! I went to my new Cancer Yoga class and met some nice ladies and did some great stretches. It’s very promising.

@TopOfTheCliff my hair is similar to yours 🤣 I have a funny quiff thing going on too - think it'd be a bit funky if I used a bit of wax maybe 🤔

@AllotmentTime well done for getting to the end! It's a long old slog 🌟 I was actually thinking about rl rage rooms earlier - I think it'd suit me right now to bash the shit out of some old crap!

@youdontneedtopoo I had a ct scan rather than mammogram so they could see what was going on. They couldn't get me near the mammogram machine, my stomach area was that full of fluid. They're over in seconds which always surprises me...an hour on the bus (& possibly the most efficient dept I've come across so far) to be in & out before my appointment time's even rolled round! At least make it worth my four quid & two hours travel (not really - the "well done me" at the pub over the road makes it worth it!).

@Liaaaa @Lavenderosemary sorry you both find yourselves here. You're in good company.

@Lavenderosemary I quizzed the reg I spoke to earlier about several things I was wound up about (poor bloke sounded genuinely baffled 🙈) & have come to the conclusion that words are not always carefully chosen and we definitely don't all interpret an off the cuff comment the same way. Try not to overthink it - you'll be joining me in the mad house!

I've come back to moan that I now appear to have...

fucking chickenpox.

It's fucking comical this past fortnight ffs! Chicken pox at 41...who expected that!? I thought something had bitten me - went so far as to panic about bed bugs ffs & to the effort of tumble dryering my pillows/duvet as well as hoover & flip & hoover again the mattress, and wash everything that's been near the bed 🙄🙄 All that effort for them to continue appearing through the day today 🤷‍♀️ I want to itch my skin off right now.

Fucking chickenpox 🙄🙄

I had them as a kid too - have great memories of playing on our garden swing and climbing frame because they didn't actually make me ill! None of that nonsense this time around 🤣

@lucysmam that sucks! Ring the nurses as they may want to give you antivirals.
You can have my crown as unluckiest thread member I happily pass it over to you.
Hope you feel okay.
Top

Oh, really? I was just heading to bed ish - well, a 20 min random scroll of tiktok & then I was. I'll ring first thing.

I don't feel unwell - just, well, 41 years old with a kids illness 🤷‍♀️ I shall wear my crown with pride only if it sparkles!

Wonder if I should be off work even if they're all scabbed after the weekend 🤔

Also wondering if this is why we were down almost 10 children today & no-one thought to mention it 🙄

I keep chuckling to myself about it & the girls won't come near me 🤣 Bet that changes when they need The Bank of Mum tomorrow 💰

Hi all,
Anyone had this?
Had a bit of a moment on the phone to the specialist cancer nurse about my appointment for nephrology. It came through the portal for MID-JANUARY
Anyway I was rather upset and she's sent me links to anxiety website
I don't feel this is at all appropriate
I've not got a mental health condition
I've got a physical condition that requires treatment, at some point (in the distant future apparently)
So why signpost as if I'm mentally ill?
Less than impressed, and made me feel that I shouldn't be feeling what are surely reasonable feelings?

Made me not trust the nurses, and I don't feel I can talk to them now
Has this happened to anyone else??

Perhaps she's thinking to try to help you manage the (very reasonable) feelings about the lengthy wait?

@lucysmam why was your abdo filled with fluid? Did it go? Im only asking because the ct scan showed my upper abdo had lots pf fluid but my consultant wasnt concerned. I am though.

i dont know who read my update but I have a feeling i will be joining you all in the bc club. I feel so flipping unlucky. Ive been rushed through and have a four hour appointment on 1st December. I had a mamogram last xmas that showed nothing. A CT scan showed a tidy nodule in April and July again, he wasnt concerned and I wanted to push but I never☹️ Now in November its doubled in size to 70mm and I read that breast cancer lumps usually double in size in six months which is exactly what this has done. I cant think that it wont be. If it is Im assuming the pet scan would have showed any spread??

7mm not 70!

@Tilllly
Thank you for your understanding and agreement that my feelings were reasonable and not a sign that I'm mentally ill
I've been holding it all together, but I was expecting a 2 ww appointment, not 2 months
I've got so much going on, that I'm not surprised I got overwhelmed
I'm disappointed that the response is "mentally ill person ", rather than an explanation as to why so long a wait
And if that's the wait, fair enough I was just taken aback.
I'll be much more careful around what i say from now on.